What are your thoughts on women dressing modestly?

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tweedlealice said:
I was a critical RN and worked ER. I know things you will hope you never know.
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My mom was an ER nurse and I’ve worked as a victim advocate and been present during evidentiary exams and after.
I’ve seen plenty.
tweedlealice said:
We are to have teachable spirits.
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Do you have one? I don’t see you willing to learn. Hm.
tweedlealice said:
I am not wrong.
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You are about a lot of this. You think it’s about modesty, and purity when it’s about people not violating another person in a way that destroys trust, self worth, wholeness.
tweedlealice said:
Teens do not have the morals of the 50’s.
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You’d be surprised. They are better than you think.
 
Wow! This thread has become toxic!

You know, we do not have to respond to this thread.

There are other threads with less contention, less back-biting and less bitterness, and more charity.

When I feel myself being sucked into lack of charity, its’ time to take a break.

Just sayin’
 
tweedlealice said:
Why would you think I would say things like this to a rape victim? I had to assist w rape exams in the ER.
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You are saying this to every rape victim that reads this thread. And I’ve met the ER nurses who work in certain areas and i was really unimpressed with one of them. That’s why a trained victim advocate ideally would be in the exam room if the victim consents to it.
 
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You are free not to respond. I’m free to counter any harmful notion put forth.
 
But then you are talking about safety,not necessarily modesty.
Though I get that a skirt that needs to be pulled down a hundred times a day due to length is an extreme…as it is coming back home alone late,and basic real risk assessment .
Getting drunk, not matter what length the skirt is,is a problem for example.
And the same goes for boys. They are also vulnerable to other sorts of problems. At least here when there is alcohol,and some loose canons around.
Just read how a group disfigured a 19 y.o ’ s face out of nothing …
 
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Why would you even type such a thing. Think such a thing, believe such a thing.
 
As a victim advocate I applaud your work. But, society is worshipping sex as a god. Our self control is gone. God’s parameters are not being followed. A sick rapist has raped old ladies. Some have stuck items up vaginas. I’m not saying all rapists need short skirts and exposed skin to commit rape. I am saying it does make a difference to a drunk, drugged college student at frat parties or summer breaks were rapes are reported. Your justifiable anger for protecting the victim is applaudible. In doing so, don’t deny a teachable practice to help stop some rapes. Like don’t go to frat parties. Don’t go to summer break. Good grief! I went to one frat party. Long story. The news reveals Summer Breaks.
God go w you. I’ll stick by my prevention ideas.
Your welcome to keep yours. Mine might prevent a rape. Whose going to collect data to prove or disprove us… AAH BUT-… pornograpy= visual tools are a proving point…
God bless you
Tweedlealice
 
That’s all I said. It invites some, under vulnerable situations.
 
Regarding modesty…The Church says in The Catechism…
  1. Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.
  2. Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires ones choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is descreet.
  3. There is a modesty of the feelings as well as of the body… Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies
 
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I made many mistakes because really children aren t born with a handbook,and we learn along the way,but one thing I told our children and they took to the letter was that no matter the hour or the place,they could give a call and ask me to pick them up. No questions asked,I would be there.
If it helps,it helped…
 
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DUH! Because it happens. Look at the ME TOO issue. I am so glad it is out. Will it be over??
Look how Hollywood is dressing on the red carpet. My husband remarks, they are asking for it. No underwear w slits up to hip joint. Front down to navel. A piece of material just hung in front of pubic area.
How terrible for him to say that. Well, I can’t count how many times I heard that.Now, they weren’t wearing that outfit trying out for a job.
I can’t fathom what they’re trying to do except get attention.
Don’t bother to comment. I’ll stand alone.
I’m actually trying to have us feel like we are treasures worthy of respect and being cherished. We are not sex toys.
God bless
Prudish Tweedlealice
I was going to be a nun. I didn’t.
 
The resistance many of us have is that, for us, modesty was just another way of finding ourselves objectified. I can’t remember where I read it, but the problem was that, rather than trying to draw attention to ourselves as sex objects, we were trying to prevent attention from being drawn to ourselves…because we were sex objects. We were still expected to center our dress around men’s desires and what was socially acceptable.

There was a time for me, when I was starving myself in hopes of becoming more modest, because the message I was getting was that I was asking for it, and maybe if I could reach a more androgynous figure I wouldn’t be such a temptation. It seemed that any clothing on my body somehow became “asking for it.” I don’t look like the women they choose to model modest attire, and I never will. But the idea of modesty drilled into my head that it was my responsibility to prevent a man from lusting after me, because my body was naturally evil and tempting.
 
I’m sorry that the modesty teaching was done in such a way to make you feel responsible for anything. When teaching our children, in a loving environment, the importance of modesty, purity, believing in God, The child shouldn’t feel criminal. She’s a princess and he’s a prince. But, when High School happened… They still dressed OK. It’s the behaviors changed. I’m not standing in judgement on anyone.
The goal for God believing(?), pure, non smoking or drinking or trying drugs wasn’t achieved.
They’re not oxygen thieves. They have degrees and live by golden rule. They do think their royalty… They just need a better spiritual journey.
As my priest says, “They’re not dead yet!
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
Stores that are local, affordable and sell modest clothes are hard to find.

Also, what one may find modest but fashionable could look frumpy to another
 
i repeat, rape is about power, not sex.
its about power and comtrol.

It makes absolutely no difference who is wearing what. If it did, no nuns ever or women wearing burkas, no males , would be victim to such crimes. And the incidence of rape at bathing spots would be through the roof.

are you familiar with communal Japanese Bath houses? for example.

the Victim is not responsible fot the criminal actions of the attacker.
Ever.
 
Lea101 said:
Also, what one may find modest but fashionable could look frumpy to another
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Goes back to my comment about how some people think any loose outfit that doesn’t show your shape is “frumpy”.

But in any event, if you’re shopping in North America or in the UK at least, many thousands of styles of all types are available online. You’re sure to find something that works for your particular taste.
If on the other hand you’re one of the people who insist on seeing clothing in a store before you buy, of course you’re going to be limited to whatever the demographics of your area is, when buying clothes. In an era when we do and buy everything on the Internet, it doesn’ t make much sense to me for anyone under the age of 50 to be limiting themselves to local stores.

My impression to be honest is that some people just like to complain they can’t find anything rather than take steps to solve the problem by looking online, learning to make their own clothes, going to the thrift store, etc. Like I said, I have worked in offices full of hundreds of women. Many of them are not wearing pantsuits or trousers every day, and the vast majority of them are not wearing miniskirts or revealing clothes to come to work, and somehow everyone has been finding clothing to buy and wear for decades.
 
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