What best discribes your spiritual direction situation?

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barb_finnegan said:
I haven’t had a spiritual director since 1994. It seems that everytime I find one [preferably a priest], he always gets transferred or has more responsibilities piled on top of him.

I go to the EF Mass now, but the priests who come from outside to say it can’t always stay after Mass to talk to anyone.

Where I live, there are no monasteries or convents. We had religious Order priests a long time ago, but they all go pulled out because of the shortage of vocations.

I think it’s my lot in life to be without a spiritual director…to be alone in this world.
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Have you checked with your diocesan offices? I just did and the woman there is currently gathering information for me.
 
I continue to have spiritual direction because I absolutely need to grow spiritually and help others grow spiritually.
 
tobinatorstark said:
I continue to have spiritual direction because I absolutely need to grow spiritually and help others grow spiritually.
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I am in a similar boat. I am blessed to have a director and the growth since I have had direction has been amazing (according to my wife). Frankly, at this point, it is inconceivable to me to not have one. My hope/vision/desire is to find a way to connect solid/faithful spiritual directors with people who want to move deeper into their relationship with Christ. The blog is just a starting point for this effort…
 
Fascinating - though we are early in the polling (just started yesterday) the poll numbers from the blog (rcspiritualdirection.blogspot.com) are almost identical to your answers here. Just curious - are any of you voting in both places? Please don’t - just checking…
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
Perhaps that’s a small hint from the Holy Spirit that you should consider someone other than a priest. Have you asked around to see if someone else might be available? Would you consider driving a distance to see a director if there isn’t someone close by?

And I suppose the other question is whether you need a spiritual director. Maybe you’re doing just fine without one. I don’t know you so I have no idea.
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At one point in his like, John Paul II had a spiritual director that was not a priest.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
Perhaps that’s a small hint from the Holy Spirit that you should consider someone other than a priest. Have you asked around to see if someone else might be available? Would you consider driving a distance to see a director if there isn’t someone close by?

And I suppose the other question is whether you need a spiritual director. Maybe you’re doing just fine without one. I don’t know you so I have no idea.
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I don’t want to go to anyone but a priest. I’m not interested in going to a ‘priestess wanna-be’ or to a layman who has weird ideas.
 
baylee said:
Have you checked with your diocesan offices? I just did and the woman there is currently gathering information for me.
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I tried once, through the website of the Legionaries of Christ, vocation.com. I got an email back saying they couldn’t find anyone in my area.

I have no patience dealing with diocesan bureaucrats.
 
Lifeisawesome said:
Hmm. That must be very difficult to feel. Have you ever considered correspondence with a religious? This was very common at one time. It might be slow but better than nothing. What part of the country do you live in?

God be present to you…
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I’m in Upstate NY-a ‘spiritual wilderness’ if there ever was one.

I have a priest friend who lives in England. He was ordained by John Paul II in 1982, and we met (quite by accident) during a pilgrimage to Fatima in 1988. I’ve been corresponding with him since then, and once in awhile he will call me. I’ve seen him three times during vacations to England, last time in 1999.

I don’t think of him as a ‘director’-he is my ‘friend’ and ‘spiritual brother’.He is very supportive of me in my trials, but I don’t want to be overly ‘clinging’ or ‘bombarding’ him with my problems and concerns. He has enough on his plate!

I had another priest friend from Quebec, Canada. We met [literally] in the front yard of St. Therese’s childhood home in Lisieux when I made a pilgrimage there in 1991! At that time I didn’t know he was in the seminary. He was ordained a deacon in Italy in May 1993, then a priest in France in August of the same year. I visited him when he lived in the south of France in October 1993. When he was home on vacation in Quebec in 1994, I visited him. He is now back home in Quebec [health concerns], but I’ve lost touch with him. As with my English friend, I considered my Quebec friend as a ‘priest-brother’, not as a director-though I could talk with on all sorts of things! I was completely at ease with both my priestly ‘brothers’!
 
barb_finnegan said:
I know He said that—but it would be nice to have someone to talk to who has ‘skin on’ !

I guess I must be ‘spiritually tone-deaf’ 🤷 :rolleyes:…sigh…
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I really know how you feel! Maybe He wants to bring out our reliance solely on Him?
 
barb_finnegan said:
I don’t want to go to anyone but a priest. I’m not interested in going to a ‘priestess wanna-be’ or to a layman who has weird ideas.
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It can be that you are really limiting your options based on what may be false assumptions. Do you think all lay directors are as you describe. I know many lay directors who are just wonderful and are not priestess wanna-be or have weird ideas. In fact I know preists who go to lay women for direction. You know even priests can be poor directors and have weird ideas. But a good director does not force his or her ideas on a directee but helps them to hear the Spirit working in their life. I do not always agree with some ideas my director has (outside of the direction session) but we never discuss his ideas in session, only what is going on in my spiritual life. He may make suggestions but would never stifle the Spirit by telling me what to do. That is the mark of a good director.
 
Lifeisawesome said:
If you are not in spiritual direction now but desire to be, what is inhibiting your progress?
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I voted that I am not, but wish I were. Of course this does not apply to the protection, enlightenmnet and direction Our Dear Lord is providing me.
I am currently reading “The Fulfillment of All Desire” by Ralph Martin. It is a well written book and I wish I were able to focus more fully on it. One of our Deacons has also read it and crecommended it. I have considered asking him to act as a guide for me.
Unfortunatley my situation is such that I cannot focus on this as I would like since my Dear Wife is ill with ALZ and this requires most of my attention.
Fortunately, God is working with me where I am and between the book, and our suffering I am being able to learn some tings about myself and hopefully grow spiritually.

Peace
James
 
Joannm said:
It can be that you are really limiting your options based on what may be false assumptions. Do you think all lay directors are as you describe. I know many lay directors who are just wonderful and are not priestess wanna-be or have weird ideas. In fact I know preists who go to lay women for direction. You know even priests can be poor directors and have weird ideas. But a good director does not force his or her ideas on a directee but helps them to hear the Spirit working in their life. I do not always agree with some ideas my director has (outside of the direction session) but we never discuss his ideas in session, only what is going on in my spiritual life. He may make suggestions but would never stifle the Spirit by telling me what to do. That is the mark of a good director.
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Joan - very good perspective. Because I know so many good holy priests, I could not imagine getting direction from a lay person. However, as you say, it is very possible and could be very beneficial. Have you ever heard of a book entitled “Seeking Spiritual Direction” by Dubay? It is very good.
 
JRKH said:
I voted that I am not, but wish I were. Of course this does not apply to the protection, enlightenmnet and direction Our Dear Lord is providing me.
I am currently reading “The Fulfillment of All Desire” by Ralph Martin. It is a well written book and I wish I were able to focus more fully on it. One of our Deacons has also read it and crecommended it. I have considered asking him to act as a guide for me.
Unfortunatley my situation is such that I cannot focus on this as I would like since my Dear Wife is ill with ALZ and this requires most of my attention.
Fortunately, God is working with me where I am and between the book, and our suffering I am being able to learn some tings about myself and hopefully grow spiritually.

Peace
James
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James - I will pray for you. You are in a difficult situation. May he make himself known in your suffering.
 
Lifeisawesome said:
Joan - very good perspective. Because I know so many good holy priests, I could not imagine getting direction from a lay person. However, as you say, it is very possible and could be very beneficial. Have you ever heard of a book entitled “Seeking Spiritual Direction” by Dubay? It is very good.
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Some people prefer getting direction from a woman and for Catholics, that means someone other than clergy. Interestingly, I can think of several men I know who have female spiritual directors. The disadvantage, which also holds true for laymen or deacons, is that your spiritual director and confessor have to be different people. But I think a female director could add a different dynamic to the situation.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
Some people prefer getting direction from a woman and for Catholics, that means someone other than clergy. Interestingly, I can think of several men I know who have female spiritual directors. The disadvantage, which also holds true for laymen or deacons, is that your spiritual director and confessor have to be different people. But I think a female director could add a different dynamic to the situation.
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Though I am not a woman, I agree. My wife has been to both. They were both extremely helpful to her.
 
Joannm said:
It can be that you are really limiting your options based on what may be false assumptions. Do you think all lay directors are as you describe. I know many lay directors who are just wonderful and are not priestess wanna-be or have weird ideas. In fact I know preists who go to lay women for direction. You know even priests can be poor directors and have weird ideas. But a good director does not force his or her ideas on a directee but helps them to hear the Spirit working in their life. I do not always agree with some ideas my director has (outside of the direction session) but we never discuss his ideas in session, only what is going on in my spiritual life. He may make suggestions but would never stifle the Spirit by telling me what to do. That is the mark of a good director.
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While it is true that there can be many fine SD among women - there are Saints that have spoken of fine SD women - not everyone is lucky enough to live in an area with orthodox, experienced lay women. In the area I live, the lay religious women are often not orthodox, although the male religious are somewhat better in that area. As has been suggested by St. Teresa of Avila, finding an orthodox, experienced SD is quite hard (although, I’m sure, worse in some areas than in others). To me, having an unorthodox or barely orthodox, or inexperienced SD is probably worse than none at all.
 
brigid12 said:
While it is true that there can be many fine SD among women - there are Saints that have spoken of fine SD women - not everyone is lucky enough to live in an area with orthodox, experienced lay women. In the area I live, the lay religious women are often not orthodox, although the male religious are somewhat better in that area. As has been suggested by St. Teresa of Avila, finding an orthodox, experienced SD is quite hard (although, I’m sure, worse in some areas than in others). To me, having an unorthodox or barely orthodox, or inexperienced SD is probably worse than none at all.
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I agree. This might be a good time to ask for prayer from all of you. I have a vision that our blog will turn into a web site, that will have a database of orthodox SDs all over the world that we could connect folks with. We are just at the beginning of the journey but would greatly appreciate your prayers that we could find benefactors to help us accomplish this important vision.
 
Lifeisawesome said:
I agree. This might be a good time to ask for prayer from all of you. I have a vision that our blog will turn into a web site, that will have a database of orthodox SDs all over the world that we could connect folks with.
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How will you judge that someone is orthodox?

While I wish you well with your project, I think I would have real qualms about selecting a spiritual director from a database. I’d much rather choose either someone I’ve already met who seems qualified or someone recommended by someone I trust.
 
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