What best discribes your spiritual direction situation?

[caro_c]

I would love to have a spiritual director, but part of me does not want to take up the time of priests that are already too busy.

Also i think I would end up making more of an effort in my prayer life, but probably for the wrong reasons, (to impress them!).

Also I am very independant and usually figure things out for myself. I always think of was it St Bernard who said, “It is a fool who has himself for a guide”.

I would also feel like a fool, asking someone to be my spiritual director.

 

[Lifeisawesome]

How will you judge that someone is orthodox?

While I wish you well with your project, I think I would have real qualms about selecting a spiritual director from a database. I’d much rather choose either someone I’ve already met who seems qualified or someone recommended by someone I trust.

Yes - good point. The how would begin with the orders. For instance, I am curious, would you simply assume that someone from Father Groschel’s order is orthodox?

 

[Lifeisawesome]

I would love to have a spiritual director, but part of me does not want to take up the time of priests that are already too busy.

Also i think I would end up making more of an effort in my prayer life, but probably for the wrong reasons, (to impress them!).

Also I am very independant and usually figure things out for myself. I always think of was it St Bernard who said, “It is a fool who has himself for a guide”.

I would also feel like a fool, asking someone to be my spiritual director.

Hmm - well, it is the calling of some orders to simply serve people like you. They see their time given to you as an investment in eternity. You, if you are willing, are well worth the effort.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I would love to have a spiritual director, but part of me does not want to take up the time of priests that are already too busy.

Also i think I would end up making more of an effort in my prayer life, but probably for the wrong reasons, (to impress them!).

Also I am very independant and usually figure things out for myself. I always think of was it St Bernard who said, “It is a fool who has himself for a guide”.

I would also feel like a fool, asking someone to be my spiritual director.

It can feel odd to ask someone to be your spiritual director, but I don’t think anyone would view it as an unwelcome request. If you ask a priest and he can’t do it, he’ll be able to suggest other people who may be able to take you as a directee.

I think that having a spiritual director is something like having a music teacher or athletic coach. They don’t take away your freedom, but help you refine your technique. And they’re present for support and encouragement, especially if you hit a slump.

 

[Lifeisawesome]

It can feel odd to ask someone to be your spiritual director, but I don’t think anyone would view it as an unwelcome request. If you ask a priest and he can’t do it, he’ll be able to suggest other people who may be able to take you as a directee.

I think that having a spiritual director is something like having a music teacher or athletic coach. They don’t take away your freedom, but help you refine your technique. And they’re present for support and encouragement, especially if you hit a slump.

Very well said.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Yes - good point. The how would begin with the orders. For instance, I am curious, would you simply assume that someone from Father Groschel’s order is orthodox?

I don’t think you can assume things about an individual based on the characteristics of the group. I mean I think you can say that as a whole doctors are highly skilled, yet there are still individual cases of malpractice.

It strikes me that people willing to be listed in a database are at least willing to take on directees so that someone would feel comfortable calling them.

How would your list differ from Spiritual Directors International other than the fact that all your people would be Catholic?

 

[Lifeisawesome]

I don’t think you can assume things about an individual based on the characteristics of the group. I mean I think you can say that as a whole doctors are highly skilled, yet there are still individual cases of malpractice.

It strikes me that people willing to be listed in a database are at least willing to take on directees so that someone would feel comfortable calling them.

How would your list differ from Spiritual Directors International other than the fact that all your people would be Catholic?

I am not familiar with SDI. I have checked out a few sites and there is no test for orthodoxy. Essentially, you could have a requirement that all directors are fully in submission to the magisterium. There are also key questions you can ask to determine if this is true (like their feelings on humane vitae etc.) It is true that a healthy order can have a few unhealthy members. However, there is no way to provide perfect screening. However, if the screening generally stays with healthy orders and other standards - you would at least be able to give people a shot at finding a good director - at the moment, for many, it seems extremely difficult…

Can you tell me more about SDI?

 

[baltobetsy]

I think that having a spiritual director is something like having a music teacher or athletic coach. They don’t take away your freedom, but help you refine your technique. And they’re present for support and encouragement, especially if you hit a slump.

I agree. In fact, the last time I looked at this thread, I was thinking about how my relationship with my voice teacher was very similar to spiritual direction.

Betsy

 

[Lifeisawesome]

I agree. In fact, the last time I looked at this thread, I was thinking about how my relationship with my voice teacher was very similar to spiritual direction.

Betsy

It really is true. Most of the work is done by the directee - the director answers important questions, helps the directee get unstuck - provides any level of healthy accountability that the directee desires etc. In fact, the director does not even need to be more spiritually advanced than the directee. A great view into this is through the story of St. Padre Pio…

 

[melinda_s]

what does a spiritual director do? i have a regular confessor is that the same?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Can you tell me more about SDI?

Not really. Mainly what I know about them is that they exist and they have a database of spiritual directors. I assume their database is actually a list of their members. See sdiworld.org/

I’m wary of your desire to find people who are “orthodox.” Telling me that the people on your list agree with Humanae Vitae would leave me wondering what that has to do with whether they would be good spiritual directors.

Of course my criteria can’t be measured either. I want someone who is prayerful and seeking holiness himself and will help me in my quest for holiness, and someone who will accompany me on my particular path, not trying to make me fit his way. I don’t think there’s a way to test for that other than meeting with someone and seeing if it’s a good fit and they demonstrate those qualities.

 

[brigid12]

These days, I probably would accept the orthodoxy of orders like Fr. Groeschel’s or the orders that frequent EWTN. However finding out about their training and experience with spiritual direction is another thing. Even so, I’d probably feel good about a priest or monk (or nun) from an orthodox order.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

what does a spiritual director do? i have a regular confessor is that the same?

No, confession and spiritual direction are different. In part it has to do with the nature of the “story” that you bring with you. When you go to confession, your story is one of sin and forgiveness. In spiritual direction, your story is your spiritual life as a whole. Not only where you’ve failed, but also where you’ve succeeded or where you have questions.

In truth, the real director is the Holy Spirit, so your director is someone who can help you pay attention to the promptings of the Spirit in your life.

 

[melinda_s]

No, confession and spiritual direction are different. In part it has to do with the nature of the “story” that you bring with you. When you go to confession, your story is one of sin and forgiveness. In spiritual direction, your story is your spiritual life as a whole. Not only where you’ve failed, but also where you’ve succeeded or where you have questions.

In truth, the real director is the Holy Spirit, so your director is someone who can help you pay attention to the promptings of the Spirit in your life.

thanks for the info looks like my confessor has been doing a bit of that with me

 

[Joannm]

thanks for the info looks like my confessor has been doing a bit of that with me

There is a small bit of spiritual counseling involved in confession, but again it is a bit different. How long do you meet with your confessor. A typical direction session lasts about 45 minutes to an hour. It is not a time for confessing (although I often do that following the session) but a time to talk about your prayer life, how the Spirit is leading you, discerning certain situations where you feel you might be prompted by the Spirit, doubts and new understandings, etc. It is not a teaching or catechetical session although he or she might clarify a doctrine that you are obviously misunderstanding or having difficulty with or they may lead you to read something about it. My director like to have me read certain spiritual writings and then we might discuss how I might integrate what I read into my spiritual life. Being Lent, when I meet with him next we will also talk about how my lented journey is going. We also have an ongoing discussion on certain virtues.

Having a director also means have a great degree of trust in him or her that you will hold nothing back with regards to your spiritual life. Also it is not a counseling session. Talking about your kids or husband or co-workers could be a distraction that keeps you from delving deep into your soul. Yes, it might be necessary to mention a situation, but only as a prelude to discussing your own spiritual life.

 

[Lifeisawesome]

Not really. Mainly what I know about them is that they exist and they have a database of spiritual directors. I assume their database is actually a list of their members. See sdiworld.org/

I’m wary of your desire to find people who are “orthodox.” Telling me that the people on your list agree with Humanae Vitae would leave me wondering what that has to do with whether they would be good spiritual directors.

Of course my criteria can’t be measured either. I want someone who is prayerful and seeking holiness himself and will help me in my quest for holiness, and someone who will accompany me on my particular path, not trying to make me fit his way. I don’t think there’s a way to test for that other than meeting with someone and seeing if it’s a good fit and they demonstrate those qualities.

Yes of course. This was just an example of an issue that quickly surfaces and reveals one’s position with respect to the magisterium…

 

[Lifeisawesome]

No, confession and spiritual direction are different. In part it has to do with the nature of the “story” that you bring with you. When you go to confession, your story is one of sin and forgiveness. In spiritual direction, your story is your spiritual life as a whole. Not only where you’ve failed, but also where you’ve succeeded or where you have questions.

In truth, the real director is the Holy Spirit, so your director is someone who can help you pay attention to the promptings of the Spirit in your life.

Well said.

 

[Lifeisawesome]

what does a spiritual director do? i have a regular confessor is that the same?

Here’s the answer…

rcspiritualdirection.blogspot.com/2009/01/spiritual-direction-what-it-is-and-what.html

 

[adowcday]

Spiritual Directors International (SDI) is an international organization for spiritual directors, regardless of their religious tradition. It includes both Christians (a wide variety) and non-Christians. Directors who list with SDI commonly identify whether they are Catholic or not. I would venture the guess that very few of the spiritual directors listed on the SDI website would be considered “orthodox,” according to the views of some of the posters to this thread.

 

[mouseangel]

I have had various Spiritual Directors sice 1981. Most of them have been priests. The first was mostly a regular confessor and eventually we arranged for a regular monthly spiritual direction time and I usually ended with reconciliation.

Then I moved to the other (northern part of Maine) and approached my pastor. I stayed with him for a year and then for various reasons he recomended a priest who belonged to an Order of Priests mostly because this priest could better understand Religious life. ( I am a Religious Sister). I was with this priest for three years until he became ill and was recalled by is Superior back to Boston area.

The northern part of Maine has very few Spiritual Directors so I was back and forth in attempts to keep one. The problems others have mentioned… priests on over-load, priests moving, priests feeling insecure, etc.

Then I made a retreat in Benedicta (still in the north but a few hours away from my home) and approached the priest there for a brief visit and received Reconciliation. The next year he was assigned to the town next to mine so we set up monthly sessions and this was the best yet. He came to understand my soul and knew before I spoke where I was. He was eventually moved to my own parish and I really felt spoiled then. I had him for a total of five years when he was moved down state. I continued to see him each time I went south for a Community meeting but this was very difficult. In two years I saw him about six or seven times. I could call or write but doing this long distance was slowing my progress and we both agreed that we would remain Spiritual friends and companions; but that I should try to find someone closer.

I prayed for a long time while discerning a new Spiritual Director. I found there were three trained Spiritual Directors (two Deacons and one lay woman) in the county. I arranged a meeting with each and went with a open heart.
I thought it might be nice to have a woman and I felt drawn this way at first. When I met with each of the Deacons I was more drawn to Deacon #1 than Deacon #2 because our journeys seemed similar and he more willing to challenge me. Deacon #2 was a good listener but the session seemed more story sharing and less challenging. My visit with the woman whom I already knew seemed to head in a companionship and our schedules did not seem that we could establish a definite commitment.

Deacon #1 seemed to be able to challenge me as my friend had. I also wanted an opportunity to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation at the same time and this was most available by going with Deacon #1.

So were agreed to try it for three months and then decide. I must admit the first two times I felt stress. The third visit we clicked and I know I am ready to grow deeper in my relationship with God! This Deacon and the saintly retired Priest who hears my confession always seem to have the same advice and I know they do not confer…at least I know my confession is safe with the seal. Deacon is just really getting to know me well!

I am most grateful to all who help me on my Journey. There are many friends who are true piritual friends who mutually share each day and we grow together but a Spiritual Director is a confidential relationship which aims assisting me to experience God more deeply in the present moment. I guess I have been rather wordy in my description. I hope this is alright?

I am Sister Mary … I but use Mouseangel because a wee mouse was my angel in helping me understand a difficult situation once.