What do a girl find a attractive in a man?

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christofirst said:
I’m a guy, so I don’t really know. Nevertheless, I hear a lot of talk about the ideal man having Boy Scout-like qualities; trustworthy, kind, cheerful, etc., but what I often see in real life is women, Catholic or not, being attracted to bad boys: dangerous, flirtatious, exciting, etc.
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You can have both of those side, ya know. You can be an honorable man but still be flirtatious (so as long as it doesn’t cross a line) and also ‘dangerous’ in that you are willing to stick your neck in to help in a dangerous situation when someone needs it.
Being boy-scout-y does not mean you are boring. You can have all those qualities of honor and still be exciting.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
Just to note here- what she finds handsome in a man is not necessarily what society or the world (worldly) finds handsome. This is also true for the opposite sex. No one gets together with someone they don’t find attraction to… men or women. Expecting anything else is kinda harsh to blame the other for, and people can fall for people whom they don’t initially have physical attraction. “Good Looking” comes in many different packages. Confidence is key, not looks.
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That was a really good one! That beauty comes in many different forms! 🙂 👍
 
Deltadeliquent said:
They also want a man who is interested in making changes when things aren’t going well. Don’t swear at her, don’t be comtemptous or dismissive of her wants or needs- ever! Sacrcasam kills. Always treat her like you did when you first met. Don’t be a liar and change after things aren’t as hot.

Men tend to make the woman in charge of nothing, yet responsible for everything. And we accept this without even thinking. Bad policy for both.

They say the success of a marriage is measured by the number of bite marks in the wife’s tongue. Make sure you have at least as many as she does.

If it’s not good for both of you, it’s not good for either of you. Change it.

Make a mistake? Own up to it, fix it and move on. Don’t blame the victim, and NEVER equate her well being with money. She doesn’t want a big fancy house, she wants emotional intimacy with you and wants to be able to trust and rely on you to have her back when things are hurtful, or tiring, or boring, or just plain wrong. Don’t stonewall her, talk. Feel, listen. Then act, now, not whenever.

The problem, whatever it is, still exists even if you are not talking about it right this second. Don’t assume things are OK after you’ve talked, unless you actually DO something about it.
Women like to talk, but we also want a problem resolved. Talk and no action will only breed resentment.

Don’t walk away when she cries, take her in your arms like a child and comfort her. If it’s something you’ve done or not done, don’t be defensive, apologize and fix it. And don’t do it again. Big or small.

Lots of small mistakes ignored will ruin a relationship as easily as a big one. Think of the relationship as a beautiful and fragile art object. Each time it gets dinged, or chipped, the beauty and value go down, and it becomes even more fragile and liable to destruction. Don’t go around denting or chipping it. Polish it with a soft cloth, keep the dust off of it, and display it proudly.
Run to catch it before it hits the floor when it’s been jostled. Don’t just stand there, opened mouthed in amazement , and watch it shatter, irretrievable.

Be a man who is always courting her, always solicitous, always put her first. When money, work, whatever becomes more importtant than her…you’ve lost her, whether she still lives with you or not.

All of this goes both ways, but in my experience it’s the man who needs the tutoring. Most divorces are filed by the woman. It’s not that we are a greedy bunch, it’s that we have no reason to stay. When it hurts, you want to get away from it. Human nature, that.

Oh, and pay attention to movies and TV shows, especially the ones she likes. That’s how she wants to be treated. I swear, I’ll never understand why men are generally so clueless about women. The instructions are in every movie you attend.

Honestly, they should teach this stuff from the get go…
Oh wait He did…. Do unto others, and all that.
It’s not magic, or voodoo or even rocket science.
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^ AMEN. Seriously, I think you covered it. As I was reading it though, I was thinking it all sounds so harsh to expect or even want that of a man, but I quickly remembered that Christ Himself instructed for men to treat their wives as Christ did for His Bride, the Church. He died for them. He said it to the men folk, not to the ladies.

I think men who protest that remark of Christ or are irritated by the points you make here are just those (not anyone in this thread, I mean in general) who have not met their significant other but are thinking about all the ladies they are just attracted to (meaning, the ones they think are hot or the ones they’d like on their arm- its a very shallow self centered)… When they know that certain woman is right for them in every way, I think they will not have any problems wanting to fulfill that very demanding list. Hopefully, they would have chosen well for them a wife that would never take his role for granted and look to support him… though forgive her for if and when she does, since she is human after all. People can’t be perfect, but they can work towards perfection together when equally yolked.

What Christ talks about here means that its a very deep relationship… its not shallow. Its not done out of duty and social expectation or “hey look at me I’m a nice guy I deserve something in return” , but real deep love and mutual respect. If that’s not there, you should cease the relationship and keep looking. Not a whole lot of people believing in a deep relationship these days
 
Women look for different things depending on their personality. Me personally? I’m not really interested in marriage, so I can’t say.

One piece if advice: Don’t be aggressive! A person above me told you that women like aggression. This isn’t true. We definitely like confidence, but not aggression. If you’re pursuing a woman, and she turns you down, don’t continue to pursue her. It makes you look rather creepy, even scary. We live in a world where rape is far too common (for women and men), so aggression can set our alarm bells ringing. Respect her when she says no, and leave it at that.

Also. women don’t want to be controlled. At the risk of sounding crude, the only place I can think where women like dominance is in bed. And even that varies. I for one don’t want a man constantly pushing me around. The man above said we women “don’t know what we want.” Um, yeah we do. There’s a reason women fought for our rights. We didn’t like being treated like dirt by domineering men!

Good luck! You seem like a really nice man. If God wills it, the right woman will come along eventually.
 
Lady_Tanzanite said:
Women look for different things depending on their personality. Me personally? I’m not really interested in marriage, so I can’t say.

One piece if advice: Don’t be aggressive! A person above me told you that women like aggression. This isn’t true. We definitely like confidence, but not aggression. If you’re pursuing a woman, and she turns you down, don’t continue to pursue her. It makes you look rather creepy, even scary. We live in a world where rape is far too common (for women and men), so aggression can set our alarm bells ringing. Respect her when she says no, and leave it at that.

Also. women don’t want to be controlled. At the risk of sounding crude, the only place I can think where women like dominance is in bed. And even that varies. I for one don’t want a man constantly pushing me around. The man above said we women “don’t know what we want.” Um, yeah we do. There’s a reason women fought for our rights. We didn’t like being treated like dirt by domineering men!

Good luck! You seem like a really nice man. If God wills it, the right woman will come along eventually.
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Ya…sadly the younger generation of women scream about rights and being treated like dirt but have never in their life experianced the modern day feminist nightmare of being told to get back in the kitchen and out of the voting booth.

Lets also use you as an example Lady since you brought it up. You said you are not interestid in marriage. From a practicing Catholic perspective that means you are also not looking for sex or anything the OP is looking for. Thus your opinion doesnt throw around allot of weight.

I never said rape anyone, or disregard boundries but YES men need to be dominate and aggressive in their search. The timid guy who refuses to make a move is gonna die alone or end up in his middle age being chased by divorced women seeking a good guy. Its sad but its true.

Dont be afraid to be a “man” OP despite what posts like these convey to you. Todays society is gonna try very hard to sway you otherwise, even the females…but if they want to admit it or not, girls like being chased and having a strong confident man who can guide them through life.

If that makes me a patriarchy supporting misogynist so be it 🤷 I have seen what im talking about time and time again…including in my own relationship to my fiance who didnt give me a second glance and tries to peddle the same ideals the person quoted above is posting. And yet now she is literally stuck to me like glue and loves me to death.

You know why? Because i made moves, chased after her, and wasnt afraid to be a MAN. Never forget that. Dont let these folks in the spirit of some by gone age crush your masculinity simply because they want to play make believe and act like we still live in 1930 southern USA while the women churn the butter and the man eats grapes while resting his feet on the back of his “women”
 
Lady_Tanzanite said:
Women look for different things depending on their personality. Me personally? I’m not really interested in marriage, so I can’t say.

One piece if advice: Don’t be aggressive! A person above me told you that women like aggression. This isn’t true. We definitely like confidence, but not aggression. If you’re pursuing a woman, and she turns you down, don’t continue to pursue her. It makes you look rather creepy, even scary. We live in a world where rape is far too common (for women and men), so aggression can set our alarm bells ringing. Respect her when she says no, and leave it at that.

Also. women don’t want to be controlled. At the risk of sounding crude, the only place I can think where women like dominance is in bed. And even that varies. I for one don’t want a man constantly pushing me around. The man above said we women “don’t know what we want.” Um, yeah we do. There’s a reason women fought for our rights. We didn’t like being treated like dirt by domineering men!

Good luck! You seem like a really nice man. If God wills it, the right woman will come along eventually.
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I agree! I rly hope he didn’t mean aggression in a bad way. More like be more firm in your decision than just to let it slip out of your hands.
Easiest way to treat a girl is to think of her as your best friend. Then most of the issues is sorted out.

I pretty much detest a woman who can’t make her own decisions! Of course one seek advice from other but when it boils down to it you gotta make your own decisions.

For me personally i want a woman who dont “need” me so to say, like a best friend. I want teamwork not being the boss. That would be a nightmare for me atlelst, to be the boss.
Btw thx for the frankness 🙂 its rly helpful and givet “white facts”, fact one can use that isn’t twisted.
But at the same time i don’t want a feminist as my wife… Have to much of them here in sweden… Cant we just all be human… accepting we are man and woman and just help our self. Like a successful football team!?

thx! 😃 i hope he sends her my way soon! But sometimes he is slow 😛 😃
 
sheninje said:
I agree! I rly hope he didn’t mean aggression in a bad way. More like be more firm in your decision than just to let it slip out of your hands.
Easiest way to treat a girl is to think of her as your best friend. Then most of the issues is sorted out.

I pretty much detest a woman who can’t make her own decisions! Of course one seek advice from other but when it boils down to it you gotta make your own decisions.

For me personally i want a woman who dont “need” me so to say, like a best friend. I want teamwork not being the boss. That would be a nightmare for me atlelst, to be the boss.
Btw thx for the frankness 🙂 its rly helpful and givet “white facts”, fact one can use that isn’t twisted.
But at the same time i don’t want a feminist as my wife… Have to much of them here in sweden… Cant we just all be human… accepting we are man and woman and just help our self. Like a successful football team!?

thx! 😃 i hope he sends her my way soon! But sometimes he is slow 😛 😃
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Well, I consider myself a feminist (pretty sure that was obvious :p), but as long as you’re treating women with respect, it doesn’t matter if you call yourself a feminist, equalist, egalitarian, etc… You seem like a pretty respectful guy, so you’re already going to be attractive to a lot of women.

👍
 
Polluted said:
Ya…sadly the younger generation of women scream about rights and being treated like dirt but have never in their life experianced the modern day feminist nightmare of being told to get back in the kitchen and out of the voting booth.

Lets also use you as an example Lady since you brought it up. You said you are not interestid in marriage. From a practicing Catholic perspective that means you are also not looking for sex or anything the OP is looking for. Thus your opinion doesnt throw around allot of weight.

I never said rape anyone, or disregard boundries but YES men need to be dominate and aggressive in their search. The timid guy who refuses to make a move is gonna die alone or end up in his middle age being chased by divorced women seeking a good guy. Its sad but its true.

Dont be afraid to be a “man” OP despite what posts like these convey to you. Todays society is gonna try very hard to sway you otherwise, even the females…but if they want to admit it or not, girls like being chased and having a strong confident man who can guide them through life.

If that makes me a patriarchy supporting misogynist so be it 🤷 I have seen what im talking about time and time again…including in my own relationship to my fiance who didnt give me a second glance and tries to peddle the same ideals the person quoted above is posting. And yet now she is literally stuck to me like glue and loves me to death.

You know why? Because i made moves, chased after her, and wasnt afraid to be a MAN. Never forget that. Dont let these folks in the spirit of some by gone age crush your masculinity simply because they want to play make believe and act like we still live in 1930 southern USA while the women churn the butter and the man eats grapes while resting his feet on the back of his “women”
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I wasn’t going to reply to this, because I really don’t like confrontation, but here goes.
  1. At the part I put in bold: no we don’t! Yeah, we like confidence. But if a woman tells you not to pursue her, don’t! I’m glad your relationship is going well. Congratulations! But don’t assume your fiance speaks for all women. Just as I don’t assume all men are sexist pigs (I really don’t, despite what you may believe), you shouldn’t assume all women are the same. Yes, some women like to be pursued. For others, it can actually be very scary! If I told a man, “no,” and he kept chasing after me, I’d be very scared.
  2. I and many women HAVE been told to go back to the kitchen. Literally. I find it very disrespectful of you to assume you know women better than we know ourselves. Also, women in third world countries are treated like dirt, despite it being 2016. Let’s not pretend otherwise.
 
sheninje said:
I agree! I rly hope he didn’t mean aggression in a bad way. More like be more firm in your decision than just to let it slip out of your hands.
Easiest way to treat a girl is to think of her as your best friend. Then most of the issues is sorted out.

I pretty much detest a woman who can’t make her own decisions! Of course one seek advice from other but when it boils down to it you gotta make your own decisions.

For me personally i want a woman who dont “need” me so to say, like a best friend. I want teamwork not being the boss. That would be a nightmare for me atlelst, to be the boss.
Btw thx for the frankness 🙂 its rly helpful and givet “white facts”, fact one can use that isn’t twisted.
But at the same time i don’t want a feminist as my wife… Have to much of them here in sweden… Cant we just all be human… accepting we are man and woman and just help our self. Like a successful football team!?

thx! 😃 i hope he sends her my way soon! But sometimes he is slow 😛 😃
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There is a Maronite Catholic community in Sweeden. Doubt they’d be ‘Barbies’. Then again, they may be far away, plus, it is most probably a world of difference in environment and culture. However, if all else fails, I hear that the Syriac they use in the Maronite Mass is beautiful.
 
My short answer is: It depends on the woman. What attracts many will be a total turn-off for others.

Some do not care that you call them a “girl” and call yourself a “man,” but some do. As far as I know, there aren’t any who mind you referring to them as a woman when you refer to yourself as a man.

English matters to me, so I would be put off by, “what do a girl find attractive in a man?” unless the man knew another language he could speak fluently with our children. Other women simply do not care about that.

The most important thing is to strive to be the best version of yourself and look for a woman who brings out the best in you. You don’t want to marry someone who finds one of your lesser versions the most attractive or who brings out your faults instead of your strong points.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
Just to note here- what she finds handsome in a man is not necessarily what society or the world (worldly) finds handsome. This is also true for the opposite sex. No one gets together with someone they don’t find attraction to… men or women. Expecting anything else is kinda harsh to blame the other for, and people can fall for people whom they don’t initially have physical attraction. “Good Looking” comes in many different packages. Confidence is key, not looks.
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It all depends on the woman. Yeah, we have all been told beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that is true. You say the same thing I meant but only in a different way. If someone is not attracted to you, they will most likely pass you up no matter what qualities you have. That is not always true as attraction can grow when you get to know someone. But it is sometimes true.
 
Lady_Tanzanite said:
I wasn’t going to reply to this, because I really don’t like confrontation, but here goes.
  1. At the part I put in bold: no we don’t! Yeah, we like confidence. But if a woman tells you not to pursue her, don’t! I’m glad your relationship is going well. Congratulations! But don’t assume your fiance speaks for all women. Just as I don’t assume all men are sexist pigs (I really don’t, despite what you may believe), you shouldn’t assume all women are the same. Yes, some women like to be pursued. For others, it can actually be very scary! If I told a man, “no,” and he kept chasing after me, I’d be very scared.
  2. I and many women HAVE been told to go back to the kitchen. Literally. I find it very disrespectful of you to assume you know women better than we know ourselves. Also, women in third world countries are treated like dirt, despite it being 2016. Let’s not pretend otherwise.
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A female friend of mine once told me that women are indeed complex because they love and hate being pursued at the same time. Whatever that means 😃
 
Upgrade25 said:
There is a Maronite Catholic community in Sweeden. Doubt they’d be ‘Barbies’. Then again, they may be far away, plus, it is most probably a world of difference in environment and culture. However, if all else fails, I hear that the Syriac they use in the Maronite Mass is beautiful.
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yepp we have a small community here in my parish. 🙂 Compared to US here in Sweden, those who is immigrants, seldomy talk Swedish as their main language. Its more like emergency language cus they live in this country…
But for the most part they are really nice people! 😃

I keep my eyes open for any good opportunity 🙂
 
EasterJoy said:
My short answer is: It depends on the woman. What attracts many will be a total turn-off for others.

Some do not care that you call them a “girl” and call yourself a “man,” but some do. As far as I know, there aren’t any who mind you referring to them as a woman when you refer to yourself as a man.

English matters to me, so I would be put off by, “what do a girl find attractive in a man?” unless the man knew another language he could speak fluently with our children. Other women simply do not care about that.

The most important thing is to strive to be the best version of yourself and look for a woman who brings out the best in you. You don’t want to marry someone who finds one of your lesser versions the most attractive or who brings out your faults instead of your strong points.
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Indeed! I guess i gotta better my English and the understanding of American culture a bit.😃
True one needs a team player not a boss 🙂
 
Polluted said:
Here in America we have 1 TINY fridge in a few gas stations that is sometimes unplugged with expired snus 😦 Most people use American Dip.

If you want to find a girl be assertive. You need to put yourself out there and lead them to you. It doesn’t matter how attractive they are or anything of the sort. Be aggressive in your persuit. You will get rejected. Lots of times! But get used to it. This is what girls find attractive. A man who is willing to (heaven forbid by 21st century standards) BE A MAN. Don’t wait for a girl to find you. Don’t make her do what you should be doing. Peruse her, where ever she might be 👍
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Wait–if it’s so attractive to do what you suggest, why does it lead to so much failure?
 
Lady_Tanzanite said:
Women look for different things depending on their personality. Me personally? I’m not really interested in marriage, so I can’t say.

One piece if advice: Don’t be aggressive! A person above me told you that women like aggression. This isn’t true. We definitely like confidence, but not aggression. If you’re pursuing a woman, and she turns you down, don’t continue to pursue her. It makes you look rather creepy, even scary. We live in a world where rape is far too common (for women and men), so aggression can set our alarm bells ringing. Respect her when she says no, and leave it at that.

Also. women don’t want to be controlled. At the risk of sounding crude, the only place I can think where women like dominance is in bed. And even that varies. I for one don’t want a man constantly pushing me around. The man above said we women “don’t know what we want.” Um, yeah we do. There’s a reason women fought for our rights. We didn’t like being treated like dirt by domineering men!

Good luck! You seem like a really nice man. If God wills it, the right woman will come along eventually.
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I think you’re correct about dominance being attractive to many women erotically, but less so outside of the bedroom.

I had a little piece on this that you might enjoy:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=13507974&postcount=21

Nobody likes a wishy washy milquetoast, but that actually goes for both sexes, not just women.
 
There’s a difference between the traits that attract me to my husband vs the ones that mke me love him. I think that’s where a lot of confusion comes in.

Both attraction and love are necessary for a successful marriage.
 
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