What education do you choose for your kids?

[ThePCWife]

Where we live, homeschool is something you have to do completely alone unless you go through the school district or somehow manage to be friends with the extremely few functional co-op families that nearly all commute an hour or more from all directions to have 4 hours a week of classes. In other areas, there’s more opportunity to do things with other homeschool families, but here it’s just LARPing at best and you otherwise have to go it alone unless you give up and get into the public school partnership programs.

Also, where we live, there’s things like public Montessori schools that are 25% of the cost of private Montessoris. So connecting up with the public school system, even if we ultimately do most of the academics at home, has a lot of pros and not that many cons. The private schooling options vary more, but they are also more “neighborly”.

The major cons of adding those elements in are that it’s a part-time job navigating those systems to get your kid(s) into the relevant programs.

A lot of homeschool socializing is theoretical or minimal, again where I live. It is very dependent on local culture, on strong personalities holding infrastructure and logistics together while their kids are involved, and whether there are other options. Increasingly a lot of homeschoolers go through the public school but still identify as homeschoolers because it’s online or only one day a week that they go.

This is a sore spot for me because any time someone has trouble getting their kids around other people because the kids aren’t in daycare or full time public school, it’s routinely dismissed as a failure of the (mother) to do x or y to meet other homeschoolers or as not important, just have more kids if you want “socialization”.

 

[MarkInOregon]

Cliqueish people will find a clique no matter what they do. If their kids are in public school, they’ll form a faction clique among the PTO. If their kids are in Catholic school, they’ll form a clique amongst the parents of the soccer team. If their kids homeschool, they’ll form a clique with other homeschooling parents, but not THOSE homeschooling parents. The good ones. That’s how cliquish people operate. There is a clique available for any insecure person who feels the need to establish a pecking order, regardless of their choices of education.

I also don’t put much stock in the “they think they’re better” argument. Pretty much every decision a parent makes regarding their children is a process of discerning what they feel is best for their kids.

I never heard a parent say, “We enrolled our kid in whatever school/class/program/club because we feel the teacher will really nurture Junior’s mediocrity.” Unless this really is a parenting philosophy, I don’t get the point of criticizing other parents for making choices that they feel will make their kids “better”. It’s normal for parents to want their kids to be as well off as possible. That doesn’t mean they are judging other parents for their decisions.

This.

My children have so far–attended catholic school–k though 8 and then gone on to public high school. About the time our oldest was ready for high school we had our third child and with that my daughters catholic high school tuition money vanished. It has worked out ok for us.
I wouldn’t have minded home schooling but knowing my wife and myself I don’t think that would have been or would be the best option for us or our children. Catholic high school is just too expensive for us. I like them going to catholic grade school–they can pray, and our faith and values are reinforced as opposed to being undermined. It is my hope that by the time they start high school–they have a grounding in their faith and an involvement in our parish community --that will help them navigate the public high school. So far so good–still have two more to go. I will say that in the public high school–they need to take charge of their own education–something our oldest did well, second not as well and third finally realized. The educational opportunities are there–but the student has to take the initiative–our eldest was near the top of her class and received a large scholarship to the private catholic college she graduated from–so it’s not all doom and gloom in the public school world. It’s important to do what works best for one and ones family within the families finances.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

 

[LongingSoul]

One thing about the money. Because a childs education is an investment in their future, we were happy to go into hock to pay for Catholic school. All of our school fees were paid by redrawing on our home loan… so now, nearly 4 years since the last one left school, we are still technically paying off school fees. I think it is a really legitimate reason to go into debt.

 

[bitterhope]

It really is a private decision made by parents for the unique circumstances their family faces. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way for kids to be taught, as long as the parents are doing the best they can. I have mostly good memories of Catholic school, my kids have mostly good memories of public school, and now we are making mostly good memories homeschooling. It is what works best for us at this point in time, but if we are ever in a different area–pretty likely to happen at some point–public school might end up being the best option again at that point. We’ve never been in a position for our kids to attend Catholic school, but who knows what the future may have in store for us.

 

[KnitNut]

I don’t think you get what I mean by cultish. I do not do the best job of being connected with my neighbors, but my kids can run around in their yards and my neighbors can give me feedback on their behavior since we’ve tried to build those relationships so that the “village” is something we are comfortable with our kids being a real part of, not just “roommates writ large”. We also are willing to use some pieces of the public school system because again, those people are literally our neighbors.

The cultishness I’m talking about regarding homeschool is exactly what you’ve said, the idea that all those other people you live next door to can’t be trusted with anything like a social relationship beyond the most artificial and superficial. Being in the world but not of it shouldn’t mean limiting oneself to the nuclear family and maybe, possibly, some extended family occasionally. I want my kids to know lots of people are looking out for them and care about them than just myself and their father. That doesn’t mean I think my neighbors “know best”, it merely means I invite them to participate in the big job of raising kids with me, to a reasonable and properly ordered extent. So the school district superintendent gets less (name removed by moderator)ut than the neighbor a half mile away who teaches a homeschool-partnership class my kids attend, as an example.

Now the goalposts are moving. Home educating or socializing? While not mutually exclusive, they both remain a parent’s domain by default…and society encourages (and at times attempts to dominate) parents to cede control over both to the state (or other agency) constantly. And those who resist are denigrated with terms like “cult”?

The fact that a neighbor is the actual teacher in the room in the public school does not make public school a more “appropriate” education model - it is still the state education system, just administered by someone you know. The choice is still the parent’s, to participate, or not. No harm on you, for choosing to use some/all of the public options available to you. The overwhelming majority of children in this country experience the same.

Likewise, the fact that a parent does the teaching (or the parenting, to drop day-care into the mosh pit here) does not necessitate that the child be disconnected from community interaction, be limited to solely “artificial and superficial” relationships, be restricted only to the nuclear family for interaction. That’s another bogus homeschool stereotype that will take decades to dispel (in part because certain groups benefit from its propagation). In our area (Boston), homeschoolers are heavily recruited both during K-12 for local jobs/programs, and by post-secondary educators/scholarship programs. There are reasons for this…and probably not because the local homeschoolers are inept, isolated, under-educated, socially-awkward, stunted souls. Children in ANY education framework may experience these (negative) restrictions…public/private/religious school children are not immune from heavy-handed parenting. But more importantly, home education is much more three-dimensional than has been painted here.

I think you are allowing your own difficult situation to lead you to sweeping generalizations that are not universal truths. I appreciate that you are in a difficult situation. If you’re not able to move (or are unwilling to move) to a more homeschool-conducive community, then I guess it’s just a matter of making the best with what you do have available. But it would be helpful to identify opinions, rather than paint a population with such an unflattering brush.

Generally speaking (to the OP, now), there are great successes, abject failures, and middle-of-the-road “survived it to graduation with minimal bloodletting” outcomes in every category of educational opportunity - public, private, religious, home. It really is an individual experience - some people have more opportunities (due to local culture, family finances, geography, local resources, etc), some people have a much more challenging struggle. Some people have more natural ability in related skills - teaching, organizing, navigating…and so it’s very difficult with all these parameters to make a general statement about best and worst. That’s why it’s such an important decision for parents to make, and more importantly, for a parent to accept and be comfortable with their decision, once they’ve made it.

 

[UbiCaritas]

I have a thought or two to add about the math, because I’m from a very math-y family and I have a relative that has a lot of experience teaching remedial community college math.

Math is a particularly good choice for extra support if necessary. **A lot of older homeschooled children seem to take over responsibility for teaching themselves at some point, and that’s generally not a good idea for math. ** Unless a child is very gifted in math, they generally do need some hand-holding, and the weaker they are as a math student, the more hand-holding they are going to need. My dad’s program experimented for a while with self-paced math and a math lab and it was not a success.

Yep. That was me: homeschooled, and expected to not only teach myself math, but get a grade ahead in math by studying on my own.

While skipping pre-algebra entirely is generally not a good idea, it turned out to be near-disastrous in my case. (Parents decided that since I was “smart,” I shouldn’t have to spend a year doing pre-algebra. They hadn’t been particularly involved in my education for a couple of years at that point. I was 13.)

I was never terribly strong in math, and when I got handed Algebra I…ugh. Passed AI because the homeschool co-op teacher felt sorry for me. Flunked geometry because a different homeschool co-op teacher didn’t. Passed Algebra II because a third homeschool co-op teacher never asked for homework and had us assign our own grades, so I decided I got a B despite never having understood or done 80% of the work.

I did manage to pass college algebra after taking a remedial class beforehand and thanks to a very devoted teacher, but I have no business teaching math at that level.

 

[Xantippe]

Now the goalposts are moving. Home educating or socializing? While not mutually exclusive, they both remain a parent’s domain by default…and society encourages (and at times attempts to dominate) parents to cede control over both to the state (or other agency) constantly. And those who resist are denigrated with terms like “cult”?

The fact that a neighbor is the actual teacher in the room in the public school does not make public school a more “appropriate” education model - it is still the state education system, just administered by someone you know. The choice is still the parent’s, to participate, or not. No harm on you, for choosing to use some/all of the public options available to you. The overwhelming majority of children in this country experience the same.

Likewise, the fact that a parent does the teaching (or the parenting, to drop day-care into the mosh pit here) does not necessitate that the child be disconnected from community interaction, be limited to solely “artificial and superficial” relationships, be restricted only to the nuclear family for interaction. That’s another bogus homeschool stereotype that will take decades to dispel (in part because certain groups benefit from its propagation). In our area (Boston), homeschoolers are heavily recruited both during K-12 for local jobs/programs, and by post-secondary educators/scholarship programs. There are reasons for this…and probably not because the local homeschoolers are inept, isolated, under-educated, socially-awkward, stunted souls. Children in ANY education framework may experience these (negative) restrictions…public/private/religious school children are not immune from heavy-handed parenting.

I think you are allowing your own difficult situation to lead you to sweeping generalizations that are not universal truths. I appreciate that you are in a difficult situation. If you’re not able to move (or are unwilling to move) to a more homeschool-conducive community, then I guess it’s just a matter of making the best with what you do have available. But it would be helpful to identify opinions, rather than paint a population with such an unflattering brush.

Generally speaking (to the OP, now), there are great successes, abject failures, and middle-of-the-road “survived it to graduation with minimal bloodletting” outcomes in every category of educational opportunity - public, private, religious, home. It really is an individual experience - some people have more opportunities (due to local culture, family finances, geography, local resources, etc), some people have a much more challenging struggle. Some people have more natural ability in related skills - teaching, organizing, navigating…and so it’s very difficult with all these parameters to make a general statement about best and worst. That’s why it’s such an important decision for parents to make, and more importantly, for a parent to accept and be comfortable with their decision, once they’ve made it.

Some points:

1. I think that socialization is part of education. Being able to talk to and relate to other people is an essential skill.
2. ThePCWife has explained that in her area, socialization is very difficult without turning to official channels.
3. Boston is a BIG city with amazing resources. Most people in the US who attempt to homeschool can expect substantially weaker resources.
4. Also, come to think of it, some children are harder to socialize than other kids. For instance, I have one 13-year-old child on the autism spectrum who is very spooked of speaking to adult authority figures. We are going to have to make a concerted effort to provide her many opportunities to speak to unfamiliar adults so that she doesn’t squeak and run away when asked to talk to the school receptionist that she sees every day.

That child also requires repeated and consistent contact with other children to warm up to them and make friends. Deo gratias, this is her 9th year at her current school, so she has lots of friendly relationships at school.

 

[1990Domer]

There’s nothing “culty” about homeschool, provided it’s done right. The results show that. All I have to do is look at Western inner cities to see how public education is failing.

A main reason why homeschool is attacked is political. In America it’s because homeschooling keeps the secular progressive who have a monopoly on public education from indoctrinating the youth (ie stripping away Catholic values) and it diminishes the power of unions, who give more to politicians than any other entity.

Homeschooling is FAR more effective than public education could ever hope to be, especially in this day and age.

Hit that nail on the head, especially where we live!

 

[bitterhope]

Now the goalposts are moving. Home educating or socializing? While not mutually exclusive, they both remain a parent’s domain by default…and society encourages (and at times attempts to dominate) parents to cede control over both to the state (or other agency) constantly. And those who resist are denigrated with terms like “cult”?

The fact that a neighbor is the actual teacher in the room in the public school does not make public school a more “appropriate” education model - it is still the state education system, just administered by someone you know. The choice is still the parent’s, to participate, or not. No harm on you, for choosing to use some/all of the public options available to you. The overwhelming majority of children in this country experience the same.

Likewise, the fact that a parent does the teaching (or the parenting, to drop day-care into the mosh pit here) does not necessitate that the child be disconnected from community interaction, be limited to solely “artificial and superficial” relationships, be restricted only to the nuclear family for interaction. That’s another bogus homeschool stereotype that will take decades to dispel (in part because certain groups benefit from its propagation). In our area (Boston), homeschoolers are heavily recruited both during K-12 for local jobs/programs, and by post-secondary educators/scholarship programs. There are reasons for this…and probably not because the local homeschoolers are inept, isolated, under-educated, socially-awkward, stunted souls. Children in ANY education framework may experience these (negative) restrictions…public/private/religious school children are not immune from heavy-handed parenting. But more importantly, home education is much more three-dimensional than has been painted here.

I think you are allowing your own difficult situation to lead you to sweeping generalizations that are not universal truths. I appreciate that you are in a difficult situation. If you’re not able to move (or are unwilling to move) to a more homeschool-conducive community, then I guess it’s just a matter of making the best with what you do have available. But it would be helpful to identify opinions, rather than paint a population with such an unflattering brush.

Generally speaking (to the OP, now), there are great successes, abject failures, and middle-of-the-road “survived it to graduation with minimal bloodletting” outcomes in every category of educational opportunity - public, private, religious, home. It really is an individual experience - some people have more opportunities (due to local culture, family finances, geography, local resources, etc), some people have a much more challenging struggle. Some people have more natural ability in related skills - teaching, organizing, navigating…and so it’s very difficult with all these parameters to make a general statement about best and worst. That’s why it’s such an important decision for parents to make, and more importantly, for a parent to accept and be comfortable with their decision, once they’ve made it.

Yes, I agree with everything you said. My kids actually are in the community more now that they are homeschooled than they ever were in public school. And that’s without us joining any homeschool groups. We are not locked away hiding simply because I’m home with them. We are out and about a lot. It’s a big part of why I’m homeschooling. I no longer worry I’ll miss the school drop off/ pick up times or bus schedule times because of appts. Now we do those things together and take school with us. I’ve noticed they learn more this way, maybe due to less stress in our family or maybe due to personality or maybe because of their learning styles. They are far from bored, and being military brats makes it hard to shelter them. It’s unfair to paint homeschoolers as cultish because they do things differently or are more family centered. I’ve seen cult like attitudes in some schools as well. Parents need to make the decisions that are best for the uniqueness of their family and no one else gets any say in what those parents decide. It isn’t our business.

 

[1990Domer]

Yes I know, I read your threads and it’s been a very trying time for him and you. As a parent of 2 ASD’s I’m just offering the suggestion not to be completely closed off to mainstream schools if it’s suggested by the professionals at anytime for him. Kids with ASD can certainly learn and need to learn resilience and honestly, as they get older, they develop their own ways of coping and dealing to carry them into adult life.

I feel a little bit uncomfortable with the schools giving out ‘most pious’ awards though. I’ve never heard of that in all my years of being connected with Catholic education. Piety has a deep inner aspect that’s not available to be judged and your son might be getting the message that appearing pious is the most important thing. That’s the downfall of cult attitudes like the Duggars had. Appearing pious means very little and could prevent a person dealing openly with their inner flaws and temptations. I’d try not to put too much emphasis on that award really. Being holy and good require humble self examination without pride.

I do wish you the best though. It is very tough I know.

Our brick & mortar school failed my son. Striking teachers and teachers “teaching to the contract” were 2 biggies. They didn’t follow his IEP and got a death threat there–yes, cops were called. Now they’re going bankrupt. No thanks.

 

[1990Domer]

No because it’s the type of thing that the Duggars chant and it doesn’t ensure freedom from depraved worldly behaviours.

We who are part of the ‘village’ know there is bad and good in the world and we have to teach our kids to live in the world as Catholics. Not tell them that we are pristine and the village is depraved. That’s a recipe for trouble. I know lots of home schooled kids because I come from an old farming family. Many were homeschooled out of necessity. Homeschooling is an option in schooling. I just don’t buy the Duggar type theory that we separate the kids from the world and they’ll be better than everyone elses kids.

Since when does cyber schooling separate my kid from the world? We attend cyber outings and Church/Church events. Is that not social enough?

 

[Xantippe]

Yep. That was me: homeschooled, and expected to not only teach myself math, but get a grade ahead in math by studying on my own.

While skipping pre-algebra entirely is generally not a good idea, it turned out to be near-disastrous in my case. (Parents decided that since I was “smart,” I shouldn’t have to spend a year doing pre-algebra. They hadn’t been particularly involved in my education for a couple of years at that point. I was 13.)

I was never terribly strong in math, and when I got handed Algebra I…ugh. Passed AI because the homeschool co-op teacher felt sorry for me. Flunked geometry because a different homeschool co-op teacher didn’t. Passed Algebra II because a third homeschool co-op teacher never asked for homework and had us assign our own grades, so I decided I got a B despite never having understood or done 80% of the work.

I did manage to pass college algebra after taking a remedial class beforehand and thanks to a very devoted teacher, but I have no business teaching math at that level.

Bummer.

You did way better than one of my dad’s students. She was kept out of school and homeschooled in order to do one of those sports where youngish teenagers can be Olympic competitors, her parents “forgot” to teach her math, she washed up from her sport at 14, and the last I heard, she was an adult with no number sense floundering in remedial math.

It seems like math may be one of those things (like learning a first language) where there is a developmental window, and if you miss it, bad things happen.

 

[pensmama87]

Bummer.

You did way better than one of my dad’s students. She was kept out of school and homeschooled in order to do one of those sports where youngish teenagers can be Olympic competitors, her parents “forgot” to teach her math, she washed up from her sport at 14, and the last I heard, she was an adult with no number sense floundering in remedial math.

It seems like math may be one of those things (like learning a first language) where there is a developmental window, and if you miss it, bad things happen.

Unfortunately math is one of those things that can be taught horribly anywhere. I went to an excellent public high school, but the math department was definitely their weakest. My 9th grade teacher retired at the end of the year and completely gave up, and my 10th grade teacher actually told me I was stupid (he was later fired.) The last two years were better, but my confidence was shot.

 

[1990Domer]

This is what our parish school was like before it had to close due to low enrollment. So very sad. We even moved close to the school so the kids could walk there.

Since it closed we are going to look into a combination of homeschooling and private tutoring which turns out will cost about the same as having the kids in the catholic school.

So I think my answer is a little different. DH and I both work full time so we are looking into having a tutor come to the house a few hours each day for lessons and combine that with a family member who is a retired teacher and has offered to handle some subjects.

My MIL left DS a trust, and we hired a teacher who lost her job to help son in weaker subjects and also build self-confidence. It’s been great!

 

[1990Domer]

Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything, but that sounds bizarre to me too. As if piety is something that can be objectively measured and ranked by an onlooker. I could see maybe giving awards for a special “act of piety” in order to exemplify and encourage acts of piety among the kids, but “most pious”? Weird.

I find this offensive because he was the only child that recited prayers at prayer time and sang at class mass other than the choir. He was the best behaved child in class masses and was praised to the principal by strangers asking if he was a child discerning a vocation. He also knew his Cathchism the best.

Truly offended.

Now I remember why I left this forum. I’m outta here. Good luck in life everyone.

 

[ThePCWife]

Now the goalposts are moving. Home educating or socializing? While not mutually exclusive, they both remain a parent’s domain by default…and society encourages (and at times attempts to dominate) parents to cede control over both to the state (or other agency) constantly. And those who resist are denigrated with terms like “cult”?

The fact that a neighbor is the actual teacher in the room in the public school does not make public school a more “appropriate” education model - it is still the state education system, just administered by someone you know. The choice is still the parent’s, to participate, or not. No harm on you, for choosing to use some/all of the public options available to you. The overwhelming majority of children in this country experience the same.

Likewise, the fact that a parent does the teaching (or the parenting, to drop day-care into the mosh pit here) does not necessitate that the child be disconnected from community interaction, be limited to solely “artificial and superficial” relationships, be restricted only to the nuclear family for interaction. That’s another bogus homeschool stereotype that will take decades to dispel (in part because certain groups benefit from its propagation). In our area (Boston), homeschoolers are heavily recruited both during K-12 for local jobs/programs, and by post-secondary educators/scholarship programs. There are reasons for this…and probably not because the local homeschoolers are inept, isolated, under-educated, socially-awkward, stunted souls. Children in ANY education framework may experience these (negative) restrictions…public/private/religious school children are not immune from heavy-handed parenting. But more importantly, home education is much more three-dimensional than has been painted here.

I think you are allowing your own difficult situation to lead you to sweeping generalizations that are not universal truths. I appreciate that you are in a difficult situation. If you’re not able to move (or are unwilling to move) to a more homeschool-conducive community, then I guess it’s just a matter of making the best with what you do have available. But it would be helpful to identify opinions, rather than paint a population with such an unflattering brush.

Generally speaking (to the OP, now), there are great successes, abject failures, and middle-of-the-road “survived it to graduation with minimal bloodletting” outcomes in every category of educational opportunity - public, private, religious, home. It really is an individual experience - some people have more opportunities (due to local culture, family finances, geography, local resources, etc), some people have a much more challenging struggle. Some people have more natural ability in related skills - teaching, organizing, navigating…and so it’s very difficult with all these parameters to make a general statement about best and worst. That’s why it’s such an important decision for parents to make, and more importantly, for a parent to accept and be comfortable with their decision, once they’ve made it.

I’ll just repeat myself, since you went ahead and demonstrated it for all.

“This is a sore spot for me because any time someone has trouble getting their kids around other people because the kids aren’t in daycare or full time public school, it’s routinely dismissed as a failure of the (mother) to do x or y to meet other homeschoolers or as not important, just have more kids if you want “socialization”.”

 

[Padres1969]

if you have kids, what kind of schooling do they recive? catholic, public, homeschool, etC… and why?

also, what sort of school did you attend yourself? was it a good experience?

I won’t have to decide for a few years, but with my wife pregnant (she just had an ultrasound today ) we’re beginning to discuss schooling. It will really depend on where we end up living when my daughter is born (or more accurately of school age) and if the public school(s) in the area are well ranked.

If they’re ranked highly, she’d prefer public school as that’s what she was raised going to. That and her parents were both public school teachers for 40 years, her aunt is a public school teacher, her cousin and her cousin’s husband are both public school teachers. They’ve got a long history of good public school education in her family. That and the cost of public school is obviously much more affordable than any private option.

I was raised going to Catholic school in large part because the public school I grew up near was horribly ranked and had a violent reputation. That and my parents were trying to instill some form of Catholic religious education on myself and my siblings. In retrospect the non-religious aspects of the education were fine if overpriced. The religious aspects seemed fine from my perspective, but were probably very much lacking from a Catholic Church perspective seeing as my Catholic baptized siblings are now Atheist and Agnostic respectively and I left the Catholic Church for the Episcopal Church (and a disproportionate number of my classmates over the years drifted from the Catholic church as well).

 

[ThePCWife]

Since when does cyber schooling separate my kid from the world? We attend cyber outings and Church/Church events. Is that not social enough?

All that stuff varies regionally. It also varies regarding the parents too. Someone with an antisocial tendency is not going to push for every possible opportunity and their kids, reflecting some part of their parents’ nature, may well not have a big need.

My point isn’t that people can’t have a good setup re: homeschool, it’s the widely-spread claim (that you are not making, I want to be clear) that good setups with exactly the social and educational opportunities an individual family hopes to get for their children will just be available anywhere in the country by virtue of choosing homeschool and that there’s never any problem. And of course if there is, it’s obviously the fault of the (mother) for not living in the right place or going to the right church, or whatever. Also “homeschool” is now a bucket covering many things ranging from public schooling in a technical sense to the older stereotype of “one family usually at home, few outings, mother and possibly father strictly homeschool”. People are no longer talking about the exact same thing when they homeschool these days.

 

[bitterhope]

Bummer.

You did way better than one of my dad’s students. She was kept out of school and homeschooled in order to do one of those sports where youngish teenagers can be Olympic competitors, her parents “forgot” to teach her math, she washed up from her sport at 14, and the last I heard, she was an adult with no number sense floundering in remedial math.

It seems like math may be one of those things (like learning a first language) where there is a developmental window, and if you miss it, bad things happen.

Or it might be one of those things like language that some people have problems with regardless–even with extensive therapy and tutoring. One of my brothers was in speech therapy from 9 months until high school graduation, and he still is not a good speaker. He has no hearing problems, just severe speech and language delays. He’s a wiz at science, and he’s a very successful career man (writing is a strong point for him thankfully). But his speech is so poor many people struggle to understand him. Some people have thought he has a strange accent, but it’s not that. He just has severe apraxia.

I struggled with math all the way through school but never really got it until one day it all just clicked. Not sure what happened, but I took algebra twice, and then it suddenly clicked with me and I got it. I ended up passing AP Calculus my senior year. Everyone learns differently, at different times, on different schedules. Some of us have different gifts than others while some simply will never quite be able to do basic things the rest of us take for granted, no matter how hard they work or how many opportunities they are presented with. Are there people who fail in homeschool? Sure there are and first place blame is placed is on parents. I know many that graduate from public school and some from private schools that are just as bad off academically in one subject or another (most are actually worse!). Still somehow the blame is placed on the parents while the schools get a free pass.

Maybe someday your dad’s student will get it like I did, or maybe it will never quite work out, like for my brother. But maybe it isn’t complete lack of effort from her parents. That’s like saying the public schools forgot to teach my son to read. They didn’t forget, they just weren’t doing it in the way he needed or on the schedule his mind needed. Fourth graders should be reading well, but there is a reason most things are written on a 4-6 grade level. It takes many people all through school to get there, and many don’t go farther. The schools aren’t forgetting, students just might not learn regardless.

It bothers me that teachers talk to others about where their students are at academically or make theories on why. That stuff should remain confidential, much like conversations with a doctor or lawyer. It’s personal, private, and often complicated. It’s too easy to jump to wrong conclusions and those assumptions can cause deep pain to the people involved.

 

[jmjZelie]

I’ll just repeat myself, since you went ahead and demonstrated it for all.

“This is a sore spot for me because any time someone has trouble getting their kids around other people because the kids aren’t in daycare or full time public school, it’s routinely dismissed as a failure of the (mother) to do x or y to meet other homeschoolers or as not important, just have more kids if you want “socialization”.”

Socialization was a huge problem for us in the past, too. So hard and depressing. So we decided we had to move. Our new location has so many more opportunities for social interaction (read: fun times making good friends). We feel certain that we are now where God wants us, because it has made doing what He has asked of us (homeschooling) not only possible, but GOOD and FUN!

And we also gave our old curriculum the boot.

But I remember just how much I blamed myself for all of the disadvantages we faced in our old town. No co-ops nearby. Closed groups that don’t invite new families. Faith-based groups which exclude Catholics or force them to sign a statement of faith that would be sinful to sign. Very insular families that don’t even welcome new homeschooling families in their parish. A town full of people who hate children. It was just horrible. And reading online about strategies for homeschooling made me feel like it was all my fault.