What education do you choose for your kids?

[KnitNut]

Some points:

1. I think that socialization is part of education. Being able to talk to and relate to other people is an essential skill.

And my point is that a public schooler is no more guaranteed “caring relationships” nor the “ability to relate” than a homeschooler. Objectively, it really does fall to the parents to make the best of a bad situation. Sorry, but them’s the breaks…it falls to the parents. (I’m thinking of all the Catholic CCD threads here where the teachers lament how the parents fall short…when the agency fails, the parents are blamed, regardless of any realistic apportioning of blame. shrug) Parents need a thick skin, because we will always be blamed, questioned, and second-guessed.

1. ThePCWife has explained that in her area, socialization is very difficult without turning to official channels.

I noticed that her/my posts crossed. Certainly there are challenges. I’ve homeschooled in remote villages in Alaska, in addition to really urban areas like Boston…and in places between these extremes. (Such is military life.) I also graduated from a class of 15, from a tiny public school, in a tiny town, with limited opportunities, PERIOD. So, I’m not unsympathetic to her situation. My mom made the choice to drive us that 2-3 hours each way to attend events outside of school, so that we’d have the enrichment she wanted us to have. It’s a matter of priorities and resources. It’s nice to have it locally, but if it matters, then one finds the best way forward. And yes, parenting can be a full time job.

1. Boston is a BIG city with amazing resources. Most people in the US who attempt to homeschool can expect substantially weaker resources.

See previous.

1. Also, come to think of it, some children are harder to socialize than other kids. For instance, I have one 13-year-old child on the autism spectrum who is very spooked of speaking to adult authority figures. We are going to have to make a concerted effort to provide her many opportunities to speak to unfamiliar adults so that she doesn’t squeak and run away when asked to talk to the school receptionist that she sees every day.

Right. It has nothing to do with the so-called “cult-mentality homeschoolers” who don’t use their neighbors for education, childcare, etc. This is my point. I’m sorry she’s in a difficult situation. She seems to be voicing some type of hurt because…well, I’m not quite sure why. I think it’s because she feels (or is being told) she’s doing a disservice to her kids somehow, by not providing opportunities? So I think she’s voicing her frustration that others from the HS community aren’t stepping up with what she thinks she wants…and sweeping those of us more comfortable with an independent model into the “cult” label. Perhaps it’s just an online vent, but if it’s an attitude that continues into real life interactions, I can see where there would be reluctance by people to get involved.

 

[KnitNut]

I’ll just repeat myself, since you went ahead and demonstrated it for all.

“This is a sore spot for me because any time someone has trouble getting their kids around other people because the kids aren’t in daycare or full time public school, it’s routinely dismissed as a failure of the (mother) to do x or y to meet other homeschoolers or as not important, just have more kids if you want “socialization”.”

Whoa there. That’s not what I said at ALL.

First, if you are doing what you believe to be best-within-your-ability for your kids, then you are not a failure. Other people may call you names like that, but they are not the people you answer to in eternity. And they can take up their big-meanie-pants lack of charity with Him when they see Him.

Second, I don’t put much (any) stock in the current pop-psych crud spouted by the unions, etc…“Socialization” is just another word for “life”. Meeting other homeschoolers is not a requisite for “life”…plenty of folks HS without ever joining another HS group or participating in organized HS events. Again, if people are telling you something negative about how you’re failing/denying the kids, etc…it’s not. their. call. If it’s your personal need for more interaction, or you think your child would benefit from some specific sort of relationship, then I can see the value in trying it out, looking to cultivate that specifically…and that’s where you have to really look hard at your needs, resources, and interests. That hour drive may just be the price you have to pay for what it is you seek. It’s unfair to be hostile to the locals for failing to meet your need…it’s not their responsibility. (Yes, it would be “nice”. And possibly a Christian thing to do. But those determinations are beyond the scope. We have to deal with the reality we have.)

I know how hard it can be. (Indeed, my stepmother is a retired public school teacher who hates homeschool almost as much as I hate beets. And that’s saying something. Add to it my unsupportive dad & sisters, distant but unenthusiastic inlaws…I mean, it has taken over 10 years to get to the point where we aren’t used as whipping boys at family gatherings…and my kids are bright, articulate, community-leader types! I mean, c’mon…they can SEE it works and they’re STILL crabbing!) Truly, I get it. And all I can suggest is maybe counseling to come to terms with it all - you are a good person. You are the best person to parent your kids - God decided that, and He knows His stuff. So, everyone else can take a number…and today is NOT their day. If there’s any way we can be of service in helping you identify, locate, or otherwise access resources or brainstorm solutions, the CAF crew are really good at problem-solving. Best wishes for your parenting journey - the grey hairs at the end will be hard-fought badges of courage!

 

[ThePCWife]

And my point is that a public schooler is no more guaranteed “caring relationships” nor the “ability to relate” than a homeschooler. Objectively, it really does fall to the parents to make the best of a bad situation. Sorry, but them’s the breaks…it falls to the parents. (I’m thinking of all the Catholic CCD threads here where the teachers lament how the parents fall short…when the agency fails, the parents are blamed, regardless of any realistic apportioning of blame. shrug) Parents need a thick skin, because we will always be blamed, questioned, and second-guessed.

I noticed that her/my posts crossed. Certainly there are challenges. I’ve homeschooled in remote villages in Alaska, in addition to really urban areas like Boston…and in places between these extremes. (Such is military life.) I also graduated from a class of 15, from a tiny public school, in a tiny town, with limited opportunities, PERIOD. So, I’m not unsympathetic to her situation. My mom made the choice to drive us that 2-3 hours each way to attend events outside of school, so that we’d have the enrichment she wanted us to have. It’s a matter of priorities and resources. It’s nice to have it locally, but if it matters, then one finds the best way forward. And yes, parenting can be a full time job.

See previous.

Right. It has nothing to do with the so-called “cult-mentality homeschoolers” who don’t use their neighbors for education, childcare, etc. This is my point. I’m sorry she’s in a difficult situation. She seems to be voicing some type of hurt because…well, I’m not quite sure why. I think it’s because she feels (or is being told) she’s doing a disservice to her kids somehow, by not providing opportunities? So I think she’s voicing her frustration that others from the HS community aren’t stepping up with what she thinks she wants…and sweeping those of us more comfortable with an independent model into the “cult” label. Perhaps it’s just an online vent, but if it’s an attitude that continues into real life interactions, I can see where there would be reluctance by people to get involved.

Oh, you’re military. Then nothing I said applies to you because military.

On the other hand…“What she thinks she wants”. Hahaha. Simply glorious, to tell someone they “think” they want something when it comes to educating their children and embedding them within a local, rooted, stable community. Military folks have each other, but it’s not the same for the rest of us outside that very unique world. If we want roots, we have to stay in the same place and live with the people we’re around, we don’t get to bail because of a new assignment.

But of course given your circumstances, “just move to magical homeschooltopia” makes sense. But the regional differences in what school of any kind can provide are real and sometimes complete gulfs.

The irony of a military family talking about being independent of the system does not escape me though.

Regionality affects what education you choose for your kids. As does the capability level of your child. And how many children you have. Good luck putting seven kids through three extracurriculars apiece. (I’m sure I’ll hear from someone that it was a piece of cake and really just about prioritizing what you really want in life or something).

The original homeschoolers were extremely bright university educated types and/or very focused autodidacts whose children were as smart as they were, and now a lot of people are not in that category, so the challenges are different as more and more people do more home education to varying extents.

TLDR; it’s a more complex world to navigate, and being facile about how much variation there is makes people feel even more helpless and alienated.

 

[LongingSoul]

I find this offensive because he was the only child that recited prayers at prayer time and sang at class mass other than the choir. He was the best behaved child in class masses and was praised to the principal by strangers asking if he was a child discerning a vocation. He also knew his Cathchism the best.

Truly offended.

Now I remember why I left this forum. I’m outta here. Good luck in life everyone.

I’m shocked and sorry that you’ve taken my observation in such a way, 1990Domer. I stand by the suggestion though to perhaps look deeper into whether the idea of a ‘most pious’ award will benefit your sons faith. I know that the faith related awards I’m familiar with… such things as the St Anthony Certificate or St Francis medal or St Clare award… relate to corporal acts demonstrated by the Saints but for gifts of the Spirit like piety and ‘fear of the Lord’ for example… these are things of the individuals relationship with God rather than with their fellow man.

When I was young (in the 60s), my mother had always been involved sacramental formation and training of the altar boys etc… there was a practice of some Priests to grant a plenary indulgence to all the altar boys just for serving on the altar. My mother realised that the boys were getting the wrong idea about plenary indulgences and the inner requirements of the blessing, and it was affecting their faith formulation as she was noting as their teacher. So she had a quite discussion with the Priest about another way of rewarding the kids.

Also people with scrupulousity also need special attention in their faith formation. Once a Priest during his homily told us that as a Jesuit they were required to do regular examens daily as part of their spiritual prayer life, but this Priest was suffering from such terrible scrupulosity that his confessor forbid him doing an examination of conscience until 15 minutes before any confession.

I felt compelled to mention the uncomfortable feeling about the idea of a ‘most pious’ award, not because I don’t think your son is pious and holy, but because I was concerned that it might not be a good message for him. You are very free to ignore that because I’m not a Priest or theologian by any means. I’m sorry that you’ve chosen to leave and genuinely wish you well.

 

[ThePCWife]

Whoa there. That’s not what I said at ALL.

First, if you are doing what you believe to be best-within-your-ability for your kids, then you are not a failure. Other people may call you names like that, but they are not the people you answer to in eternity. And they can take up their big-meanie-pants lack of charity with Him when they see Him.

Second, I don’t put much (any) stock in the current pop-psych crud spouted by the unions, etc…“Socialization” is just another word for “life”. Meeting other homeschoolers is not a requisite for “life”…plenty of folks HS without ever joining another HS group or participating in organized HS events. Again, if people are telling you something negative about how you’re failing/denying the kids, etc…it’s not. their. call. If it’s your personal need for more interaction, or you think your child would benefit from some specific sort of relationship, then I can see the value in trying it out, looking to cultivate that specifically…and that’s where you have to really look hard at your needs, resources, and interests. That hour drive may just be the price you have to pay for what it is you seek. It’s unfair to be hostile to the locals for failing to meet your need…it’s not their responsibility. (Yes, it would be “nice”. And possibly a Christian thing to do. But those determinations are beyond the scope. We have to deal with the reality we have.)

I know how hard it can be. (Indeed, my stepmother is a retired public school teacher who hates homeschool almost as much as I hate beets. And that’s saying something. Add to it my unsupportive dad & sisters, distant but unenthusiastic inlaws…I mean, it has taken over 10 years to get to the point where we aren’t used as whipping boys at family gatherings…and my kids are bright, articulate, community-leader types! I mean, c’mon…they can SEE it works and they’re STILL crabbing!) Truly, I get it. And all I can suggest is maybe counseling to come to terms with it all - you are a good person. You are the best person to parent your kids - God decided that, and He knows His stuff. So, everyone else can take a number…and today is NOT their day. If there’s any way we can be of service in helping you identify, locate, or otherwise access resources or brainstorm solutions, the CAF crew are really good at problem-solving. Best wishes for your parenting journey - the grey hairs at the end will be hard-fought badges of courage!

It’s not about meeting other homeschoolers, it’s about meeting other people at all. If 99% of the kids are in public school or private schools that run 7-9 hours per day, when are my kids supposed to meet anyone other than family and the checkout clerk at Wegman’s? The socializing thing is real, and a serious effort for anyone not doing the exact specific default setting. And it multiplies with more and more kids. It’s certainly not about being hostile to locals, I’ve been pretty clear my neighbors like me and our family, I just can’t find any homeschoolers who want to do anything together unless I travel for it and what I’d be traveling for is what is limited and mostly not worth the drive. But if I gasp technically enroll them all in horror public school “homeschool partnership programs” suddenly that’s where all the “homeschool parents” seem to be. But in a very technical sense they’re public schooling too, that’s all. That is why I say we’re doing a little of everything. By some very strict standards, we won’t be “independently” homeschooling. But it’s where the people are who want something different than vanilla public school or full time private school.

 

[SuperLuigi]

It’s not about meeting other homeschoolers, it’s about meeting other people at all. If 99% of the kids are in public school or private schools that run 7-9 hours per day, when are my kids supposed to meet anyone other than family and the checkout clerk at Wegman’s? The socializing thing is real, and a serious effort for anyone not doing the exact specific default setting. And it multiplies with more and more kids. It’s certainly not about being hostile to locals, I’ve been pretty clear my neighbors like me and our family, I just can’t find any homeschoolers who want to do anything together unless I travel for it and what I’d be traveling for is what is limited and mostly not worth the drive. But if I gasp technically enroll them all in horror public school “homeschool partnership programs” suddenly that’s where all the “homeschool parents” seem to be. But in a very technical sense they’re public schooling too, that’s all. That is why I say we’re doing a little of everything. By some very strict standards, we won’t be “independently” homeschooling. But it’s where the people are who want something different than vanilla public school or full time private school.

I would say do what works. As long as you recognize that the greater public education system and higher education at four-year schools in general (there’s exceptions) isn’t friendly to your values, I think you’ll be fine.

The problem with this comes where parents just drop their kids off at school and practically expect teachers and daycare attendants on days off to raise their children. Some of them will be more than happy to…in their own way.

I’ve had both occupations in my family, and they’d tell you they had quite a role in the lives of those kids.

It would also be problematic as your kids get older to send them off to Catholic university expecting clergy and other “Catholic” students to look after them. It won’t happen, unless they seek help for something.

*Also, note how many of the bleeding heart defenders of public education in the USA send their kids to fancy private schools. :whacky:

 

[bitterhope]

Oh, you’re military. Then nothing I said applies to you because military.

On the other hand…“What she thinks she wants”. Hahaha. Simply glorious, to tell someone they “think” they want something when it comes to educating their children and embedding them within a local, rooted, stable community. Military folks have each other, but it’s not the same for the rest of us outside that very unique world. If we want roots, we have to stay in the same place and live with the people we’re around, we don’t get to bail because of a new assignment.

But of course given your circumstances, “just move to magical homeschooltopia” makes sense. But the regional differences in what school of any kind can provide are real and sometimes complete gulfs.

The irony of a military family talking about being independent of the system does not escape me though.

Regionality affects what education you choose for your kids. As does the capability level of your child. And how many children you have. Good luck putting seven kids through three extracurriculars apiece. (I’m sure I’ll hear from someone that it was a piece of cake and really just about prioritizing what you really want in life or something).

The original homeschoolers were extremely bright university educated types and/or very focused autodidacts whose children were as smart as they were, and now a lot of people are not in that category, so the challenges are different as more and more people do more home education to varying extents.

TLDR; it’s a more complex world to navigate, and being facile about how much variation there is makes people feel even more helpless and alienated.

I don’t think you really understand what it is really like as a military wife because what you are saying does not go along with my experience. Also, the original homeschooling parents were Adam and Eve, followed by most parents for thousands of years. In terms of education, public school is a new thing, not homeschooling. Private teachers and private schools are older than public school by far as well. I do wonder why you homeschool at all if you have so many things about it you dislike or if you find things so difficult. Why torture yourself so much? It isn’t a requirement to homeschool. Most people don’t.

 

[KnitNut]

Military folks have each other, but it’s not the same for the rest of us outside that very unique world.

LOL - that’s rich. Sorry, I’ve never been into the military cliques, either. As a military family, it’s even harder to be independent of the dysfunctional education and “social” system, because the government really does own you. And you’re in their fishbowl under observation 24/7/365. I would say that perhaps the public-school military have it worse, as they get dumped in and hauled out of school districts with different methods, curricula, resources…it’s much more challenging to keep integrating into a new school every couple years, for the kids, than it is to continue with home education.

If that’s a serious discussion question, where to find interaction opportunities for children outside of an institutional education setting, it probably should go in a separate thread? But there may be opportunities that others can suggest who’ve been in similar situations. If you want to start that thread, there are lots of CAFers who are pretty clever at identifying out-of-the-box options.

Otherwise, I’m not sure where these all/nothing dramatic, over-the-top caricatures are coming from, but it seems like a very dark place indeed. Seriously, no one is calling you names for making the choices you’ve made…despite your repeated provocative, OTT goading of HSers. If you’re that conflicted, perhaps bringing it to your pastor or a counselor might be useful to process the emotion and tackle the underlying issues in a way that brings you peace and self-confidence. Best wishes.

 

[Allegra]

I find this offensive because he was the only child that recited prayers at prayer time and sang at class mass other than the choir. He was the best behaved child in class masses and was praised to the principal by strangers asking if he was a child discerning a vocation. He also knew his Cathchism the best.

Truly offended.

Now I remember why I left this forum. I’m outta here. Good luck in life everyone.

I’m sorry for offending you. My point wasn’t to suggest that your son is not pious. I’m sure he is very pious and well-behaved. My point was that piety is an internal virtue that can’t really be assessed by others. The child that’s afraid to sing out in Mass may be thoughtfully reading along in the hymnal and making each hymn a sincere prayer. The child that has difficulty memorizing prayers by rote may read his rosary from a book every morning. I’m not against rewarding a child for good behavior in Mass and demonstrating a good example of piety for his peers. My objection is to the message it sends to all the students to dub a specific student as “most pious”.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Bummer.

You did way better than one of my dad’s students. She was kept out of school and homeschooled in order to do one of those sports where youngish teenagers can be Olympic competitors, her parents “forgot” to teach her math, she washed up from her sport at 14, and the last I heard, she was an adult with no number sense floundering in remedial math.

It seems like math may be one of those things (like learning a first language) where there is a developmental window, and if you miss it, bad things happen.

I was really, really lucky. I did my first two years at a community college, and happened upon a professor who was there because he loved teaching math, period. He was well past retirement age, but I got the impression that teaching was his life. Anyone who could get yours truly to not only pass intermediate and college algebra but actually look forward to classes in same had to have been one heck of a gifted teacher!

Your story makes me cringe. That poor kid.

 

[Xantippe]

Socialization was a huge problem for us in the past, too. So hard and depressing. So we decided we had to move. Our new location has so many more opportunities for social interaction (read: fun times making good friends). We feel certain that we are now where God wants us, because it has made doing what He has asked of us (homeschooling) not only possible, but GOOD and FUN!

And we also gave our old curriculum the boot.

But I remember just how much I blamed myself for all of the disadvantages we faced in our old town. No co-ops nearby. Closed groups that don’t invite new families. Faith-based groups which exclude Catholics or force them to sign a statement of faith that would be sinful to sign. Very insular families that don’t even welcome new homeschooling families in their parish. A town full of people who hate children. It was just horrible. And reading online about strategies for homeschooling made me feel like it was all my fault.

That’s a pretty grim picture.

I’m glad you got out.

 

[Xantippe]

It’s not about meeting other homeschoolers, it’s about meeting other people at all. If 99% of the kids are in public school or private schools that run 7-9 hours per day, when are my kids supposed to meet anyone other than family and the checkout clerk at Wegman’s?

I ran into that exact issue when we lived in NW DC–had we skipped preschool, it would have been very, very lonely for me.

Sometimes it pays to run with the herd.

 

[Xantippe]

I also graduated from a class of 15, from a tiny public school, in a tiny town, with limited opportunities, PERIOD. So, I’m not unsympathetic to her situation. My mom made the choice to drive us that 2-3 hours each way to attend events outside of school, so that we’d have the enrichment she wanted us to have. It’s a matter of priorities and resources. It’s nice to have it locally, but if it matters, then one finds the best way forward. And yes, parenting can be a full time job.

How many kids were there in your family? I can’t imagine making little kids live in the car like that. I feel bad enough making the preschooler ride 20 minutes across town, sit through a 60 minute activity for older siblings, and then have a 20 minute ride back.

It also doesn’t sound very compatible with a good diet or keeping to a budget for people of moderate income–that’s a huge investment in gas and drive thru meals unless everybody is eating PBJs in the car.

I’ve known two families to invest in four-hour one-way trips for music lessons in the big city, but neither family had more than two children and they were both very high earning families. For a normal family to attempt that sort of thing, it would be over the hill to the poorhouse.

 

[KnitNut]

I can’t imagine making little kids live in the car like that. It also doesn’t sound very compatible with a good diet or keeping to a budget for people of moderate income–that’s a huge investment in gas and drive thru meals unless everybody is eating PBJs in the car. For a normal family to attempt that sort of thing, it would be over the hill to the poorhouse.

“I would have a very hard time traveling that far with so many kids/little kids. How did you make it work?” “I think that would be expensive for my family. How did your parents handle the expense?” “My kids are used to meals at home. How did you handle meals around that much travel?” See what I did there?

Four kids. Though there were almost always more in the car, because other parents would ask her to bring their kids, too. (So I guess the whole town was into child torture?) We had one of those huge old station wagons, with kids riding in the “way back” and everything, so we could load it up. I have great memories of those trips. I know it was super hard work for my mom to pull it off (dad was almost always working late), but I’m so very thankful that I had those opportunities - they taught me about exploring beyond the boundaries and putting energy into things that really matter to me. Really useful lessons to learn, that have brought me to very interesting places and opportunities throughout life.

Next, that false dilemma: “healthy food at home” or “bad food through drive thru”…since when are those the only choices? When I was growing up (I’m very close to 50), the drive through wasn’t even “a thing”. Coolers? Remember those? Filled with good food, planned in advance? Right.

Likewise about income and effort - we were a one-income family most of the year, except summers when Mom supplemented by taking in other people’s kids. (No, not a glam job with big bucks, either. That whole computer revolution thing was nowhere near existence. We had a paper mill in town. And logging. That was about it.) So there were financial trade-offs in order to make things work…it was no cakewalk.

Now, if we want to have an honest discussion about the difficulties of living in “whatever” situation, that’s fine. But labeling me a cultist, and now insinuating that my parents made bad choices…really, y’all are riding that ragged edge of Christian charity. smh

Ideas for socialization: Make your house the local hangout. (We did that, it worked. Bubble tables, straws and string for younger kids. Electronics & fabrication workbench with appropriate tools for older kids, beater components for practice, help from knowledgeable adults when needed, homemade cookies…they come in droves.) Start a club yourself. (Mom did that with 4-H. She started a little club so we would have a chance to do it, opened it to the town and others joined in.) Visit the nursing home on a regular basis (have the kids practice some songs to sing, or make cards to bring). Find out the hobbies of those neighbors and see if they’ll come over to show the kids something interesting. Take a class/workshop, then offer to teach it to the neighborhood kids (or the neighbors). Host an open house once a month, inviting your neighborhood families to stop in for coffee/cider/cookies. If your kids like the woods, find a forester to take you out for a hike…and invite the locals or the HS community. Yes, all these things take effort. Traveling may be what is needed, in which case make the best of it…and if the offerings aren’t what you want, then either forget about them, use them to the extent they are helpful to you, or try to make them better.

And to the OP, that’s the truth for education in general, and then for life. If what you have isn’t working, you can try to improve it, find a way to change it (like moving to a new area), or find a way to accept it. Each education model has advantages and challenges that are influenced by myriad factors. The point is to find what works best for your family, within your limitations…and realize that this may change, over time. Just choose a direction, make a plan, and start moving. Reevaluate as you go, change course as need be. Best wishes on your exciting journey!

 

[slh3016]

if you have kids, what kind of schooling do they recive? catholic, public, homeschool, etC… and why?

also, what sort of school did you attend yourself? was it a good experience?

I was public schooled, was a bright student, and received a fantastic education and had many wonderful, thoughtful, caring, and effective teachers.

DH was private schooled (Christian) all the way through and received a mediocre education.

We have chosen to homeschool our children (DS attended public school through 4th grade). We live in a county with one of the highest rated school systems in the U.S. Our reasons for homeschooling have to do with my husband’s work schedule and it’s our way to prioritize family time. DH works 12-14 hours a day for 8 months a year and has a 4 month break in the winter, which is the exact opposite of a public school calendar. Homeschooling allows our family the flexibility to school year round and take breaks and vacations at times that are best suited for OUR family

If something happened, however, and kids needed to go back to a brick and mortar school, we’d have few qualms about our local public schools. They are fabulous.

 

[Inisfallen]

I ran into that exact issue when we lived in NW DC–had we skipped preschool, it would have been very, very lonely for me.

Sometimes it pays to run with the herd.

Same here – my daughter is, and is likely to always be, an only child. I think it’s important for her to be around other children as much as possible.

She’s not even two, and I can already see that she’s developing a healthy social awareness, and making friends, and learning to play with other children.

 

[Xantippe]

I still don’t see how the gas expenses would work. We had $4 gas just a few years back and we’ll probably get it again.

Even without $4 gas, normal rural families routinely spend $400-$500 a month on gas–I can’t even imagine what routinely doing six hour drives in a big kidmobile would cost.

“I would have a very hard time traveling that far with so many kids/little kids. How did you make it work?” “I think that would be expensive for my family. How did your parents handle the expense?” “My kids are used to meals at home. How did you handle meals around that much travel?” See what I did there?

Four kids. Though there were almost always more in the car, because other parents would ask her to bring their kids, too. (So I guess the whole town was into child torture?) We had one of those huge old station wagons, with kids riding in the “way back” and everything, so we could load it up. I have great memories of those trips. I know it was super hard work for my mom to pull it off (dad was almost always working late), but I’m so very thankful that I had those opportunities - they taught me about exploring beyond the boundaries and putting energy into things that really matter to me. Really useful lessons to learn, that have brought me to very interesting places and opportunities throughout life.

Next, that false dilemma: “healthy food at home” or “bad food through drive thru”…since when are those the only choices? When I was growing up (I’m very close to 50), the drive through wasn’t even “a thing”. Coolers? Remember those? Filled with good food, planned in advance? Right.

Likewise about income and effort - we were a one-income family most of the year, except summers when Mom supplemented by taking in other people’s kids. (No, not a glam job with big bucks, either. That whole computer revolution thing was nowhere near existence. We had a paper mill in town. And logging. That was about it.) So there were financial trade-offs in order to make things work…it was no cakewalk.

Now, if we want to have an honest discussion about the difficulties of living in “whatever” situation, that’s fine. But labeling me a cultist, and now insinuating that my parents made bad choices…really, y’all are riding that ragged edge of Christian charity. smh

Ideas for socialization: Make your house the local hangout. (We did that, it worked. Bubble tables, straws and string for younger kids. Electronics & fabrication workbench with appropriate tools for older kids, beater components for practice, help from knowledgeable adults when needed, homemade cookies…they come in droves.) Start a club yourself. (Mom did that with 4-H. She started a little club so we would have a chance to do it, opened it to the town and others joined in.) Visit the nursing home on a regular basis (have the kids practice some songs to sing, or make cards to bring). Find out the hobbies of those neighbors and see if they’ll come over to show the kids something interesting. Take a class/workshop, then offer to teach it to the neighborhood kids (or the neighbors). Host an open house once a month, inviting your neighborhood families to stop in for coffee/cider/cookies. If your kids like the woods, find a forester to take you out for a hike…and invite the locals or the HS community. Yes, all these things take effort. Traveling may be what is needed, in which case make the best of it…and if the offerings aren’t what you want, then either forget about them, use them to the extent they are helpful to you, or try to make them better.

And to the OP, that’s the truth for education in general, and then for life. If what you have isn’t working, you can try to improve it, find a way to change it (like moving to a new area), or find a way to accept it. Each education model has advantages and challenges that are influenced by myriad factors. The point is to find what works best for your family, within your limitations…and realize that this may change, over time. Just choose a direction, make a plan, and start moving. Reevaluate as you go, change course as need be. Best wishes on your exciting journey!

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

I was educated in Catholic schools K-12.

K-8 was by the Sisters of Notre Dame De Namur. Amazing experience. Very expensive. Frankly, not sure it is worth it, given the religious education I see there these days. Their non-religious education is second to none, but I don’t see their faith formation as up to snuff, and for for $12.5k/year, I’d better get some Doctors of the Church walking across stage at 8th grade graduation.

High School was all-boys run by the Xaverian Brothers. Another amazing experience, and truly taught us how to be men. That school was phenomenal for all the right reasons. Patron was St. Jospeh, whom I love to this day.

Wife was mostly Catholic School, save for a couple late enrollments when her Air Force dad had assignments that moved them around quickly. Spent a year or two in public school.

Kids are 5,2, and 1, and likely we’ll have at least another, God (and my wife’s fortitude) willing.

We chose a parish school we moved to be near based on its combination of general education and faith formation. It is slightly cheaper than my old school being a parish school (though none of them are cheap in this area of the country), but that was less of a factor than the faith issue. It’s awesome, blue-ribbon school (for whatever that is worth these days), and they churn out vocations from the parish like a bee churns out honey. They are doing something right there.

Wife doesn’t see herself as a fit for home schooling, but would do it if I something happened to my job. Never considered public school. They are excellent, and highly ranked nationally, but its the things I’ve seen reported outside the classroom that concern me (boys holding hands, non-opt-outable sex-ed** way early, the exposure to unfiltered Common Core, and more).

**Technically, the sex-ed and demonstrations ARE able to be opted out of, but when a student opts out, they simply cancel the sex-ed class and move it to Physical Education/Health, which you cannot opt of. Tricky little minxes, those educators. Seriously, I was appalled and disgusted when I found this out.

 

[Sen]

We are a few years out from having to decide this but we are tentatively planning on homeschooling.

I attended public schools and got an OK education, not stellar, not horrible, just OK.

Husband went to a very good Catholic school for K-8. Then his parents homeschooled him using Seton Homeschooling for high school. He is very well educated, one of the smartest people I know.

Right now we are living in my hometown, the public schools are just OK academically. The population here is very conservative and the schools reflect that but the dominant religion is Mormonism, which tends to be a little closed off to outsiders and so I worry about our daughter being able to make friends or kids at school trying to convert her. But sending her to the public schools here is something we are keeping on the table, if we aren’t able to financially swing one of us staying home to homeschool when the time comes.

There is a Catholic school in town, it goes up through the 6th grade. It might be affordable if both my husband and I work and if we don’t have more than 2-3 kids. But I want to eventually be able to quit work and stay at home and I want a large family if my health permits. Plus the parish here isn’t always orthodox and I’d be worried about what she learns about our faith there.

We hope to be able to move to my husband’s hometown someday, to be nearer his family. If that happened though then public school would be out of the questions, the schools in his town are terrible, very liberal, not very good academically. The Catholic school that he went to is there and it would be wonderful, very orthodox and academically rigorous but it’s also very expensive and I doubt we’d ever be able to afford it.

So we are hoping to homeschool, using either Seton or Kolbe curriculum.

 

[SuperLuigi]

We are a few years out from having to decide this but we are tentatively planning on homeschooling.

I attended public schools and got an OK education, not stellar, not horrible, just OK.

Husband went to a very good Catholic school for K-8. Then his parents homeschooled him using Seton Homeschooling for high school. He is very well educated, one of the smartest people I know.

Right now we are living in my hometown, the public schools are just OK academically. The population here is very conservative and the schools reflect that but the dominant religion is Mormonism, which tends to be a little closed off to outsiders and so I worry about our daughter being able to make friends or kids at school trying to convert her. But sending her to the public schools here is something we are keeping on the table, if we aren’t able to financially swing one of us staying home to homeschool when the time comes.

There is a Catholic school in town, it goes up through the 6th grade. It might be affordable if both my husband and I work and if we don’t have more than 2-3 kids. But I want to eventually be able to quit work and stay at home and I want a large family if my health permits. Plus the parish here isn’t always orthodox and I’d be worried about what she learns about our faith there.

We hope to be able to move to my husband’s hometown someday, to be nearer his family. If that happened though then public school would be out of the questions, the schools in his town are terrible, very liberal, not very good academically. The Catholic school that he went to is there and it would be wonderful, very orthodox and academically rigorous but it’s also very expensive and I doubt we’d ever be able to afford it.

So we are hoping to homeschool, using either Seton or Kolbe curriculum.

That all sounds good!

The main issue is if you send your kids out for school to pay attention what’s going on. Don’t just assume that teachers are there to do a good job teaching and everything will be fine.

Your kids could be told everything they are going to hell for praying to Mary to being hateful bigots for not towing the academic progressive line on things like gay “marriage” and/or climate change.