What is the value of a wife?

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jmjZelie

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It is a simple question, but one I have been pondering, and would like to hear perspectives on this.

So, in your opinion, what is the value of a wife?
 
Are you buying life insurance? We took the cost of getting the things the surviving spouse could not get done without the stay-at-home spouse. I’d err on the high side. We ran term insurance through until the youngest was sixteen and could drive. After that, we decided we’d absorb the cost of an unlikely premature death. As for disability insurance, it is practically impossible to get that for someone who does not draw a salary. You just have to take your chances.
 
jmjZelie said:
So, according to Proverbs, a wife’s value is in her productivity and how successful she is?
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I believe you missed the point of the passage, dear friend. It’s her faithfulness and willingness to give herself to her family that makes her a good wife. The rest flows from that.
 
EasterJoy said:
Are you buying life insurance? We took the cost of getting the things the surviving spouse could not get done without the stay-at-home spouse. I’d err on the high side. We ran term insurance through until the youngest was sixteen and could drive. After that, we decided we’d absorb the cost of an unlikely premature death. As for disability insurance, it is practically impossible to get that for someone who does not draw a salary. You just have to take your chances.
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No we are not buying life insurance. I have asked my husband to do this (I have no income) a few times, but he does not seem concerned about it.

I am asking more generally.
 
Della said:
I believe you missed the point of the passage, dear friend. It’s her faithfulness and willingness to give herself to her family that makes her a good wife. The rest flows from that.
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I am very familiar with that passage and have read it hundreds of times, and have read multiple commentaries on it. Almost every line deals with her productivity and her material contributions to her household. If you are saying that it is rather about her faithfulness and her willingness to give herself to her family, then would you agree that productivity and industry are manifestations of her faithfulness? Or not? I am curious why you drew a distinction. Thanks.
 
jmjZelie said:
I am very familiar with that passage and have read it hundreds of times, and have read multiple commentaries on it. Almost every line deals with her productivity and her material contributions to her household. If you are saying that it is rather about her faithfulness and her willingness to give herself to her family, then would you agree that productivity and industry are manifestations of her faithfulness? Or not? I am curious why you drew a distinction. Thanks.
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Well, commentaries aren’t necessarily spiritual material but rather putting passages into context, etc. The spiritual element is the truly important one or else it would have no meaning to us beyond a cultural representation of the times.

In the OT being sucessful was the same thing as being favorable to God. As we read it post-Incarnation, we see that it isn’t her financial or business success that is the important thing but rather it’s a metaphor for being faithful and industrious. God calls us to be useful and self-giving which garners success in our souls, which is far more important than temporal rewards such efforts might gain. It is just as much about men as women in the sense that we are all called to faithfulness and industriousness in our endeavors, temporal and eternal. 🙂

If you haven’t read the Haydock Catholic Bible Commentary on these verses, you may find it helpful. :tiphat:
 
jmjZelie said:
I am very familiar with that passage and have read it hundreds of times, and have read multiple commentaries on it. Almost every line deals with her productivity and her material contributions to her household.
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Yes, but that does not imply that those things make her valuable. They express her value but they aren’t what make her valuable.
If you are saying that it is rather about her faithfulness and her willingness to give herself to her family, then would you agree that productivity and industry are manifestations of her faithfulness?
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Yes.

(I’m not the original person who linked to that passage, I’m just a person who agrees with her.)
 
When my oldest two were 12 and 8, I gave up my outside job, becoming a stay at home mom. I looked into what it would cost my husband to run the household without me. He couldn’t afford it. Seriously, write down everything you do from sun up to sundown and beyond:

Meal planner
Emergency medic
Laundress
Maid
Chauffeur
Mediator
Chef
Pet sitter
Baby sitter
Janitor
Short order cook
Gardener
All night medic
Hazardous materials clean up
Nurses aide
Carpet cleaner
Floor mopper
Floor sweeper
Dishwasher
Household organizer
Personal assistant
Duster
Deep clean person
Oven cleaner
Tub cleaner
Shower cleaner
Schedule maker
Window washer
Car washer
Rug cleaner
Coffee maker
Kid bather
Snot wiper
Inspector
Clothes ironer
Clothes maintenance
Shoe shiner
Clothing procurement
Grocery shopper
Car maintenance
Appointment maker
Alarm clock

To name a few
 
jmjZelie said:
No we are not buying life insurance. I have asked my husband to do this (I have no income) a few times, but he does not seem concerned about it.

I am asking more generally.
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Oh, OK!

Well, when you asked your husband before you agreed to marry him, what did he say?

When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.
Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.
Prov. 31:10-11

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant searching for fine pearls.
When he finds a pearl of great price, he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.”
Matt. 13:45-46

“Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
Matt. 7:6

The value of a worthy wife, like the value of a pearl of great price, is something that is recognized, not something that is granted.
 
Reading this thread with much interest.
I asked my husband to answer the question.
Without hesitation, he said: *Someone to trust, share my innermost feelings with. Someone with whom I can share anything, and receive understanding, humor, tenderness, and loyalty. This, to me, personally, makes you invaluable. *

After I showed him the various posts, he said “Geez, I guess I missed the point. I never even thought about mentioning your capabilities in those terms.”
 
pianistclare said:
Reading this thread with much interest.
I asked my husband to answer the question.
Without hesitation, he said: *Someone to trust, share my innermost feelings with. Someone with whom I can share anything, and receive understanding, humor, tenderness, and loyalty. This, to me, personally, makes you invaluable. *

After I showed him the various posts, he said “Geez, I guess I missed the point. I never even thought about mentioning your capabilities in those terms.”
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Ah, you married well! That is a man who knows his pearls! 👍
 
Well Trident’s here to weigh in. So careful everyone. He’s not very good at looking at where he’s going. Might step on toes and stuff.

But seriously. I can think of this in 2 ways. The first is the way that a wife takes care of the people around her. She’s pretty much the heart of the house in most cases. Take out the heart and the house can still work. It can still go on. But it doesn’t have that same sense of purpose. That same selfless drive. Or something. I mean you can’t pay for that. It has no price because no one’s for hire in that category.

And of course there’s the practical side. The thousands of chores that get done because of her efforts. That would cost a lot of coin. To even get done half as well.

But more to that even. Since Zelie is my friend. There’s the value of her as a friend. Which is huge to me alone. Never mind everyone else she’s lent an ear to. Or helped in other ways. So yeah. If she’s for sale I’m bidding. But I don’t think I’ve got anywhere near enough cash. And I mean there’s no way I could ever actually come up with her real value here. That’s a priceless thing. That’s gold bar territory.

Peace Zelie. You’ve got high value. Just can’t fit the number in the cheque blank.

-Your friend Trident
 
pianistclare said:
Reading this thread with much interest.
I asked my husband to answer the question.
Without hesitation, he said: *Someone to trust, share my innermost feelings with. Someone with whom I can share anything, and receive understanding, humor, tenderness, and loyalty. This, to me, personally, makes you invaluable. *

After I showed him the various posts, he said “Geez, I guess I missed the point. I never even thought about mentioning your capabilities in those terms.”
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Aww! :love: Your husband is a jewel of a man!
 
Trident_H said:
Well Trident’s here to weigh in. So careful everyone. He’s not very good at looking at where he’s going. Might step on toes and stuff.

But seriously. I can think of this in 2 ways. The first is the way that a wife takes care of the people around her. She’s pretty much the heart of the house in most cases. Take out the heart and the house can still work. It can still go on. But it doesn’t have that same sense of purpose. That same selfless drive. Or something. I mean you can’t pay for that. It has no price because no one’s for hire in that category.

And of course there’s the practical side. The thousands of chores that get done because of her efforts. That would cost a lot of coin. To even get done half as well.

But more to that even. Since Zelie is my friend. There’s the value of her as a friend. Which is huge to me alone. Never mind everyone else she’s lent an ear to. Or helped in other ways. So yeah. If she’s for sale I’m bidding. But I don’t think I’ve got anywhere near enough cash. And I mean there’s no way I could ever actually come up with her real value here. That’s a priceless thing. That’s gold bar territory.

Peace Zelie. You’ve got high value. Just can’t fit the number in the cheque blank.

-Your friend Trident
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What a kind and thoughtful post! 🙂
 
This is a bit off the topic, but somehow it reminded me of one of my early experiences while my wife and I were dating.

We were standing on a balcony at a party, and (of all things) were talking about life; about the challenges presented in relationships and marriage. We each had a drink in our hands. A line from the Iliad suddenly occurred to me then, and I proposed a toast to her, and to life with her, with that line. In the Iliad, it refers to Helen:

“Surely there is no blame on Trojans and strong-greaved Achaians if for a long time they suffer great hardship for a woman such as this. Terrible is the likeness of her face to immortal goddesses.”

I like that. No man can truly appraise the value of a good woman.
 
pianistclare said:
Reading this thread with much interest.
I asked my husband to answer the question.
Without hesitation, he said: *Someone to trust, share my innermost feelings with. Someone with whom I can share anything, and receive understanding, humor, tenderness, and loyalty. This, to me, personally, makes you invaluable. *

After I showed him the various posts, he said “Geez, I guess I missed the point. I never even thought about mentioning your capabilities in those terms.”
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I asked my husband when he got home. I asked the question as simply as I asked it here. He said:

Someone who is the center of the home, spiritually and emotionally
Someone who brings softness and beauty to the home and to my life
Someone who adds gentleness to life
Someone who is a best friend and a good companion
Someone who nurtures our children and supports me
Someone who I can love and who can love me

Never once did his list include functions a wife/mother might perform (cooking or cleaning or laundry, etc). I asked him why he didn’t mention any of those. He said that it just never occurred to him, because we were talking about the value of a wife and not the jobs she might do to contribute to the household.

Now I know why I live this man!🙂

And no, pianistclare, you husband certainly did not miss the point. He hit on the point perfectly.
 
Dacinom said:
How can it be summed up in a post the value of a human being? What are you seeking exactly? Are you looking for some inspirational quotes to put on your refrigerator for your husband? Something to share with a prayer group? Something to spark conversation?

Not sure…
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Yes, something to spark conversation and keep me on the right track when I get tired or stressed. I want to have good inspiration from fellow Catholics and other people of goodwill here at CAF to recall so I don’t fall into thinking that if I don’t get the laundry done on a particular day (or week) that I have failed to be a good wife. 🙂
 
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