On the OP’s points:
1) Planning the event and completing all the prerequisites seem to be the most complex undertaking we will do the year before or after saying “I do”
Remodelling or building a house is another one.
The priest does not say “if anyone has a reason why these 2 should not…”. My worry that a random ex or friend with hidden feelings would burst in at that moment (like in several Rome tic comedies) were unfounded.
This really worried you? How many people are there out there carrying a torch for you? A lot of us felt lucky to find the one we were marrying, LOL!!
*People ask if she is expecting, or imply we should expect to be expecting soon. *
This is to get you ready for the relentless advice you will get from the time your wife gets pregnant until your children take over running your life for you. (Then you’ll get if from both sides, if you are not careful.)
Most of us arm ourselves with boring stock answers, such as “whatever God wills, that is fine with us.” Do not
ever tell people what you want out of your family life. You won’t get some of it, and you will be reminded about it later.
I’m no longer allowed to die stupidly. Meaning that in my single days I could start something I felt had a real risk of death just because. Now, there must be a good reason (in defense of someone, etc). Not sure how that came about.
Kind of funny, isn’t it? As if you were happy to be cannon fodder until you got married.
(News flash: Single guys have a will to live, too, World, and married guys aren’t dead.)
*Cost of certain things are different for married folks vs. 2 unmarried folks. Had no idea car insurance rates were lower. *
Ah, now, my advice: Most singles don’t feel the need for an estate plan. Once you are married and might have children before you know it, you probably need one now. Also do research, decision-making, and paperwork for who has powers of attorney, disability insurance, and so on if you have children and you are both incapacitated or killed and so on. It is pretty routine stuff, but many couples don’t get around to doing it. While your estate plan ought to be written with the idea that it will be revisited, don’t bet you’ll get around to it.
Been there, done that? Kudos to you!!
We somehow become a light or source of hope to others. Not sure how or why, but a number of people have said we give them hope about the world/life in general.
A surprising number of young people are “opting out” of marriage, even after they become parents.
So, what other surprises have you learned about married life?
I don’t know it was a surprised, but it has worked out well to think of what he does and what she does as what we do. His job is an element of our job, her career is an element of our career, the money is ours and not his or hers, and so on. If you just assume that you don’t make decisions alone and don’t struggle with the challenges of your job alone, life will be much better.
*Better is one handful with tranquility than two with toil and a chase after wind!
Again I found this vanity under the sun: a solitary man with no companion; with neither son nor brother. Yet there is no end to all his toil, and riches do not satisfy his greed. “For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good things?” This also is vanity and a worthless task.
Two are better than one: they get a good wage for their labor. If the one falls, the other will lift up his companion. Woe to the solitary man! For if he should fall, he has no one to lift him up. So also, if two sleep together, they keep each other warm. How can one alone keep warm? Where a lone man may be overcome, two together can resist. A three-ply cord is not easily broken.*
Eccl. 4:6-12
The third element of the cord? Well, the third party to your marriage is God, of course. If the two join as one in the life of God, that cord is not easily broken.
