What Price is Peace?

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Heck, my mom even told me that I’m not converting my sons; they’re going to her Sunday school. That was a few years ago though. To be fair.
 
What? Your mother should not be in control of your parenting choices. They are your children.
 
I know. That’s another reason that makes me mad. The reason my sons are baptized Lutheran is that both my mom and my ex would’ve gone ballistic if I suggested a Catholic Baptism. My mom even looked at me expectedly with a look of: No, you’re not when she asked me what Faith they’d be baptized in. She’s softened on that; but, I can still see the anguished look on her face when I mention my youngest son’s interest in the Faith.
 
Heck, my mom worries if my fiancé and I will go to Daily Mass when she gets here from the Philippines.
 
Here is this fact: I was a Protestant prior to becoming Catholic. Lutheran baptism is considered valid in the eyes of the Catholic church. You can actually allow them to take the RCIA courses and confirm them.

That’s how I became Catholic- I had a conditional baptism (I lost my baptismal certificate lol) and was confirmed right after. Of course, I had RCIA for about 6 months.

So in this case, your sons are baptized in Lutheran tradition but you can confirm them in the Catholic tradition.
 
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Same here. In fact, that’s why I relented on the Lutheran Baptism. The Church considers a Lutheran baptism valid. Spiritually, my boys have access to the Holy Spirit.
 
The thing is: I know for a fact my family will not take my youngest son to RCIC. I work nights.
 
If that is the case, I would highly advise you to talk to your parish priest and develop a plan, if you wish to allow your sons to become Catholic. You might be able to figure something out.

I decided to become Catholic while everyone started RCIA in a different time. So my priest allowed me to take extra courses to finish the RCIA. Priests allow you to develop a plan through your RCIA teacher, which allowed me to take an extra time to become Catholic.
 
Cool.

Here’s another thing: My oldest son is happy being Lutheran. It saddens me, but I accept it. I talked with my fiancé earlier about my arguments with my family. She told me that they shouldn’t interfere and teach them Protestant stuff and not to influence them. She also said that we should move out of my parents’ house ASAP.
 
The beautiful thing is: My priest knows about my youngest son being baptized Lutheran, his interest in the Faith and my inability to take him to RCIC. He still hears his Confession.
 
Michael16 said:
My Mom blew up at me after I converted. She actually said to me, rather heatedly: “ What, Lutheranism isn’t good enough for you? “ She took it as a personal attack.
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This really resonates with me because, as you know, I’m in something of a similar predicament right now. I remember reading from a convert somewhere (was it in Scott Hahn’s Rome Sweet Home ? I’m not sure now) that the advice he received on how to preserve his marriage when his wife wasn’t on board with his conversion was something along the lines of “Beef up the romance, forget the dogma”.

Now you’re having a conflict with your mother, not with your fiancee, but I still think this is good advice. Love her. Be quick to apologize for hurt feelings. Do something nice for her. Pray for her. She may or may not come around, but that is out of your hands.

When you love somebody, when sharing a common faith was, at a point in the time, a part of that relationship and when that has now changed forever, there is more than just faith issues at play. She might well be wondering too what she did wrong in the faith education she gave you, what Lutheranism was unable to give you that you found elsewhere, and feel guilty. In that kind of situation, I think a big part is about reassuring the other that what you feel for them has not changed and will not change.

And as I write that, it’s making me really aware of my own shortcomings. I’ve been really short-tempered and not that loving with my poor husband these past few weeks. I think I have some serious apologizing to do, and confession probably wouldn’t hurt either. Please pray for me, and thank you for helping me realize that 🙃
 
Yes, moving out will be a best option. Talk to your children and allow them to explore. I was, in fact, not really interested in Catholicism until I joined CCO, a Catholic organization for university students. This created a domino effect on my immediate family.

And that is really beautiful that your priest understands your younger son’s passion for being Catholic. I hope that he is allowed to pursue the faith in our Holy Church.
 
Michael16 said:
I try to maintain an academic attitude. Kind of like an anthropologist studying another culture.
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As an anthropologist, have you ever noticed how tribes in adjacent territories often have an exaggerated view of their small differences? To someone from a distant country and culture, the tribes look much the same.

Be an anthropologist who looks for the many things that we have in common, the many things that bind us together.
 
Living with parents once an adult especially with your own family, just leads to difficulties in my opinion, and these issues are not even religion related. And my mother once said something along the lines of two adult women in the same house will always clash - each woman should have their own kitchen. I acknowledge that some families can and do live together peacefully, especially if it is only for the short term, but it tends not to work out if done long term.

Best for you and your family and also best for your mom and other family members if each live in their own households (once your mom gets over the shock of you moving out/missing you and your kids/the noise and bustle with you all there.)

As far as I am aware, we are only obligated to defend our Faith when it is attacked. If discussing religion is such a heated topic, then for family peace religion needs to be a no-go zone for conversations. Try not to rise to any challenge, perhaps a simple reply of “Well that’s what I believe” and leave it there. This was the advice given to me by my then parish priest when I was being challenged by a family member and didn’t know how to answer and at the same time avoid a fight.
 
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Thank you, Oddbird for chiming in. I always love to see your insights.

Oui, I can see why my mom might feel guilty and wonder what she did wrong in my upbringing. Totally get that.

Hahahahaha

You mention Rome Sweet Home. I read that book as I discerned the Faith. That book “ dinged “ it for me. The Church makes sense. I remember Dr Hahn given that advice by one of his friends. I’ll adapt the approach with my mother.

Of course, I’ll pray for you soror mea. You want just a regular prayer or maybe I should go full bore right into a Rosary and a Holy Hour?
 
Yeah, it is beautiful. I’m so thankful that we have such a wonderful priest in our parish. As for allowing my kids to explore, I’m fully for it. They’re above the age of reason, so they have to choose for themselves.
 
I see. I’m also praying for my brother’s conversion but he’s an atheist. I’ll be praying for your sons’ conversion as well.
 
Thanks, CRV. I’ll try it out. I totally agree with each woman, her own kitchen. Wars happen that way. I love seeing you posts, btw.
 
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