What to do, if anything?

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sunandstars

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My gay sister wanted to come to my house for thanksgiving. I was really happy about that and encouraged her to book flights.
Then she started talking about her “partner coming too”.
I know they would expect to sleep together at my house.
If I don’t do anything and allow this to happen, am I committing a sin of omission?
Am I supporting her lifestyle?

I think my non catholic husband would be angry if I made a thing of it, or suggested a hotel…
 
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I’m always sad when I see these sort of problems detailed on CAF. I’m not a believer so can’t give you religious advice. In my family the same-sex couples fit in fine, drink less and are the best at doing the dishes.
 
Oh dear sunandstars that’s the kind of thing I dreaded among relatives but Deo Gratias it never happened to me. Do you have two rooms spare and they would sleep in each? Or a pull out bed?

I guess they would know your feelings on the matter and hopefully would work with you to avoid this awkwardness?
 
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I wouldn’t assume to know what they do or don’t do behind closed doors. It really isn’t your business.
Enjoy your family for the holidays. Don’t upset your sister, her partner, and your husband.

What if they didn’t like that your husband was of a different faith from you, so told you they wanted you to stay in a hotel when you visit. How would that make you feel? (I just use the religion reference randomly…they could pick anything you do or don’t do, and say they find it offensive, so you will need to stay in a hotel).
 
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I suppose that would be their prerogative if they wanted to be vindictive, but here the poster is talking about something objectively sinful and if they stay in a room together and they call themselves partners then what they are talking about is sexual partners. The poster should not be expected in her own house to allow objectively sinful behaviour. It’s good manners from the guests for a start.
 
Interested to hear opinions on this subject. Literally everyone on both sides of mine and my wife’s family are either divorced and remarried or in a same-sex relationship.

I have thus far never brought it up to anyone, but it does concern me when people come to stay with us.
 
My husband and I were obviously not in a same-sex relationship, nor were we chaste before marriage. (Yes, I know that was a sin, it was 25 to 35 years ago now and I confessed it years ago.) However, when we visited our parents prior to our marriage, we slept in separate bedrooms and did not engage in any sexual activities under our parents’ roofs because we knew they did not approve. We did this for some years until we got married.

If houseguests can’t do this out of respect for the relative offering lodging, then gently suggest to them that they book a hotel room nearby and visit you during the day.
 
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When it comes to family, I find it is always best to try to accommodate everyone, as best you can.
In the days we live in this can be quite a challenge, which with lifestyle differences, political differences, etc. and so forth.
If you believe having your sister and her partner sleeping in your home would upset your husband, I would suggest they stay at a motel.
Pay to God for help. And try to seek a happy solution.
 
Op said she worries her husband will get upset if she makes an issue of it.
 
sunandstars said:
I know they would expect to sleep together at my house.
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To this, you cannot remain silent. Could you not gently explain to your sister that you love her and really want to see her, but you cannot condone her and (insert name here) sleeping together in the same room as it goes against your conscience? And if she can’t accept it, then perhaps again gently suggest that considering how you both feel on the matter, both of you would be happier if they stayed elsewhere - for the sake of your relationship continuing, rather than have an argument/fallout.

IMO, this would be more necessary if you have children/teenagers also at home or whom will be staying with you.

Nine Ways of being Accessory to Another’s Sin
  • By silence — by not speaking up against the sin whenever he is bound to do it.
I would think, that as you are Catholic and it is your home, and she is your sister, then this is an occasion on which you are bound to speak up.

As Catholics, sometimes we have to make choices that aren’t easy.

But you can emphasize that you love your sister dearly, just not the lifestyle she has chosen. You can’t help how she’ll react, but hopefully if adult enough she will be able to understand where you are coming from, and accept this even if she doesn’t agree with you .

I would hope that your non-Catholic husband would support you in this, even if he doesn’t agree - but be understanding of you and your moral position once you explained your reasons why, assuming he doesn’t understand the CC position on this lifestyle choice - and outwardly be united, even if in private he doesn’t agree with you.
 
What if one of your family members is in an irregular marriage (divorced and remarried, etc.). Would you permit them to be houseguests?
 
sunandstars said:
Am I supporting her lifestyle?
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Does her lifestyle need your support? Does she come to you for moral guidance? Probably not??

Why haven’t you talked to her about your concerns? Does respect between the two of you only go one way?
 
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OP: Don’t allow them to sleep together in your house. You’d be culpable as an accessory to their sin. I’d suggest other lodgings if she insists on bringing her partner with her. I’d tell her that I love her; but, I cannot condone the sin against God.

Btw: Your husband should support you on this. I feel for you if he doesn’t. Sorry you’re in this spot.
 
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sunandstars said:
Then she started talking about her “partner coming too”.
I know they would expect to sleep together at my house.
If I don’t do anything and allow this to happen, am I committing a sin of omission?
Am I supporting her lifestyle?

I think my non catholic husband would be angry if I made a thing of it, or suggested a hotel…
Click to expand...
If she were straight & brought her partner with her would you have a problem with them staying in the same room, in your house?

I’m no Saint, but fornication is fornication. If you’re ok with one… or if you don’t believe you’re guilty by association in one instance, you shouldn’t in the other.

You are charged with loving your sister. Do that. Be honest, let her know what you are comfortable with & what you are not. She’s welcome in your home, until she’s not. If you know what I mean.
 
FiveLinden, if Catholic teaching and people trying to follow it “makes you sad”, then perhaps you may want to avoid the threads where it is discussed.

It makes a lot of Catholics sad to see people rejecting the teachings of Christ and his Church and potentially committing grave sins in the process.
 
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