What to do, if anything?

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Re: the responsibility… I would say no. We have some family members who are boyfriend/girlfriend. We have traveled places with them and sometimes have been in the position for booking the hotel rooms for all of us (one room for us; one for them). At first we always got them two beds. Then once time only a king bed was available for their room. My husband and I discussed it & decided a) let’s be real: even when we get two beds they are probably sharing one of them & just piling the other with suitcases. B) They never asked for two beds. C) if we get them one bed and they don’t like it, someone can sleep on the floor. No big deal. Bottom line: we aren’t responsible for what they do in that bed. They are.

As far as your sister goes, I’d have a bit of an issue mostly because… do we even know this g/f? I wouldn’t like a stranger staying in my house.
 
Tell them if they want to be apart of that deathstyle, than they need to get a hotel room.
 
When my sister in law had her brother over for a visit, he brought his long term live-in girlfriend. She welcomed them and assigned him to a downstairs bedroom and her to an upstairs bedroom. Their living arrangements are their own business, but her house is her business.
 
JMMJ said:
I wouldn’t assume to know what they do or don’t do behind closed doors. It really isn’t your business.
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Anything that goes on under her roof is her business. Plus, if they aren’t shy about fornicating under the same roof as others, then it will very much be her business… and her husband’s business… and her children’s business… and perhaps even her neighbors’ business, whether any of them like it or not. I speak from experience, and let me tell you how uncomfortable it is to be put in that situation.

No person should tolerate, let alone welcome, such sin in their own home. OP would be wise to insist upon them getting a hotel.
 
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My sister is gay and when her partner and her came to visit one slept on the bed and the other in a sleeping bag. Could one sleep on a couch? Also just because they say they are “partners” does NOT mean they are physically/sexually active. Don’t always assume such things. My sister and her partner are not.
Emotional attachment is strong.
 
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Why is a hotel making a thing of it? It would be normal to stay at a hotel if you might inconvenience family. I would never assume I was staying at a relative’s house when I visit. Especially if they were hosting the dinner at their house as well.
Bottom line, you should expect that the sister will ALWAYS include the partner, and so you should also always find a polite way of not offering to be a bed and breakfast for family visiting. A gracious host will find a way to not make an issue of it and a gracious guest will respect that.

Perhaps you could do the legwork in finding good hotels or places for them to stay.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
FiveLinden, if Catholic teaching and people trying to follow it “makes you sad”, then perhaps you may want to avoid the threads where it is discussed.
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Why does it worry you how I feel about others’ experiences of their religion? Surely I am allowed to feel sorry about a situation described?
 
Is it OK to eat with sinners now? When did that happen? At the same table too?
 
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It’s not a matter of me being “worried” about it.

You’re expected to respect our religious beliefs when you post here, not go around challenging then unless it’s an apologetics debate or a discussion in the Non Catholic Religions forum.

Your negative feelings about a Catholic person’s reasonable question relating to them trying to practice their faith are not on topic to the answer the person is trying to get, and are borderline disrespectful to our faith. Your wishing to debate the matter further here or presuming that it “worries” me is also patronizing and borderline disrespectful.

You basically implied that the person should throw her value system in the trash and just do like your family and then everybody would be happy including yourself. Disrespect with a capital D.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
You basically implied that the person should throw her value system in the trash and just do like your family and then everybody would be happy including yourself.
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Inferences are taken. Implications are made. I implied no such thing.
 
TheLittleLady said:
What if one of your family members is in an irregular marriage (divorced and remarried, etc.). Would you permit them to be houseguests?
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TheLittleLady brings up a good point that no one has really addressed. Should a male/female married couple in an irregular marriage be treated any differently from a same-sex couple?

My parents are divorced. They were each married and divorced before they even met each other. My father is on his third marriage now, my mother is currently dating a man who lives with her. My wife’s parents have been married for 30 years, but they were each married and divorced before they met each other.

Should these people’s sleeping arrangements be scrutinized in a similar fashion to a same-sex couple?

I’m honestly asking this question because I don’t know the answer.
 
A hotel would be making a thing of it because we have three empty bedrooms in our house.
 
I’ve not made a thing of it before, although frankly I haven’t seen her for a long time.
I never made a thing of it before.
My husband is very secular and doesn’t understand the problem.

I appreciate all the responses. I’m a timid woman…
Right now I’m thinking I will not make a thing of it and just take the sin. I’ll confess, be forgiven. In a way I will be suffering in purgatory for love of my sister.

If the issue comes up I will let her know my views and why I don’t condone her lifestyle.

Maybe I should talk to my very trade priest. But I think I know what he will say!
 
Welshrabbit said:
Should these people’s sleeping arrangements be scrutinized in a similar fashion to a same-sex couple?
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Speaking for myself, personally, I would treat anyone in an irregular situation the same way, assuming that I knew it was irregular.

I am fortunate in that we have very few people in our family who were ever in any kind of non-Church approved situation, and those who were didn’t typically plan on crashing at my or my parents’ home with their partners. People usually got a hotel and came to visit. I generally do the same for some years now as even if you’re traveling solo, it’s a bit of an imposition and also the situation is likely to have aspects not to one’s liking regarding shared bathrooms, etc.
 
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Take the bedroom door off the hinges…

See how ridiculous that sounds?

Love your family and show them and be the Good Samaritan…they are responsible for their sins, not you.

Dine with the sinners as well as the saints…your witness of love is more effective than an act of derision.

Besides if you serve enough turkey the tryptophan should put everyone in a food coma.
 
Thank you for your feedback, it is appreciated.

Is there anyone out there who believes that it is acceptable to provide lodging to someone in an irregular heterosexual relationship (i.e. my Dad and his third wife) and NOT to a same-sex couple (i.e. my wife’s sister and her partner)?

If so, why?
 
Tis_Bearself said:
we slept in separate bedrooms and did not engage in any sexual activities under our parents’ roofs because we knew they did not approve. We did this for some years until we got married.
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Same here. But more than avoiding their disapproval, by voluntarily staying in separate rooms we avoided putting them in a position of having to make the statement.

Everyone’s always concerned with how the ‘other’ couple may feel, but what about the feelings of the host?
Bill: ‘If you want me to be part of the family, you have to give in to my desires as a guest.’
Bob: ‘If you want to be a part of the family, you wouldn’t make that demand of me as a host.’
 
whoops misread the way you stated the question…

Carry on, sally forth and what-not…:crazy_face:
 
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Why stop at a gay sister? What if she’s a heterosexual, divorced and remarried ? It’s best to love our family, accept that they are flawed, sinful people and just pray for them.
 
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