Agreed. It’s a possibility, but I’m not sure how you would determine it. It could be that the OP’s daughter simply has a very close relationship with her, and she os reasonably certain that her daughter would be open about it. However, we cannot be sure.
It’s edgy, there is language for it, and there is that “lesbian chic” going on. I thought that was over but I guess it’s moved from college into the high-school (almost middle school) crowd.
Because she told me she received a text from this girl.
So we have another piece to this puzzle. She could be depressed because she does have legitimate same-sex attraction, or she could be depressed and is therefore acting out in socially unacceptable ways to get attention. It really boils down to why she is depressed. What is the cause? Bad family life? Something happen to her when she was a child/early teen?
I should say to my DD that her friend is a very troubled person and she should be careful with her.
The friend texted the daughter that she has a crush on her. Telling people you like them is pretty normal these days. Look at the bright side, it was a text not a sext.
Meh, I really don’t think it reflects too badly on her family. They’re in high school. High school students do stupid things. It’s not like she’s harrassing the OP’s daughter (unless she is and this information hasn’t been posted). She’s simply informing the daughter how she feels.
Teenagers text EVERYTHING under the sun. Doesn’t matter if they come from a decent family, a broken family, a single parent family, foster care…teens text and text and text. A teen would absolutely text that she had a crush…on a girl or a guy, wouldn’t matter. But just because she would text such a thing, doesn’t automatically mean she is actually homosexual or doesn’t think its wrong. Girls get girl crushes on each other at this age, most of the time its not even sexual in any manner. It has more to do with finding their way, identifying with someone they admire or would like to be and because our culture is so sexually saturated, they listen to those messages and automatically think they must be homosexual to be enamored with or find themselves identifying with one of their classmates.
Just to be clear, teenage depression can happen to the best of kids from the best of families as well as those that come from a troubled background. And there doesn’t necessarily have to be a “cause” or a significant event that triggered the depression. Teenage depression is a very complicated illness. And some kids that say they are depressed, say it to get attention, you are right on that. But some kids will never tell anyone either. I think we need to be careful we don’t start to analyze this girl since we don’t know her or her background.
This. The more I think about it, the more I realize that what people text doesn’t really allow you to determine whether they come from a decent family or even if they are a decent person. I hate to think what my classmates would be considered if we scrutinized all their texts. We all message weird stuff to our friends. Doesn’t mean we’re unstable. It mostly means we’re teenagers and we’re still figuring out what “appropriate” means.
Really? So if you knew there was, say, heroin, in your daughter’s school, or friend group, even if you knew they were well grounded, you would do nothing?
That’s a little different because heroin is illegal and life threatening. She would have to tell the school and get the authorities involved.
This is the attitude my own parents had when I was a teenager. I was left to my own devices many times when I was actually exposed to a situation that was beyond what I had experienced before in my life. My parents took the same line of thinking that I had been taught between right and wrong and I’d know what to do when confronted with troubling decisions. Its dangerous to think you teach your children firm values and morals and then just let them go on their own. I might have known what was right, but that didn’t mean I actually had the skill set to handle the emotions or psychological effects of the situations many teenagers may encounter. To do nothing is dangerous, at the very least a parent should be there to continue to help guide and discuss decisions and situations. If a teenager finds themselves in over their head, a parent may need to step in and intervene.
I don’t think the poster was trying to say she would always do nothing in any situation. I think she was specifically addressing only this particular situation. Quite frankly, I know where she’s coming from. I guess not everyone is the same, but when I was a teenager, it would have been a no brainer to me if I was in this situation - a girl has a crush on me, I don’t have the same feelings back, end of story. It isn’t any different from a boy having a crush on me and me not having the same feelings for him back. The fact that it’s a girl doesn’t really make a difference.
Actually she said she’d do nothing, and I take her word that’s what she meant until she says different.
Indeed.
