What's so great about homeschooling?

[bear06]

Does it ever worry you that your homeschooled children will rebel against your lifestyle?

Homeschooling doesn’t erase sin so, of course, we worry.

That said, from what we’ve seen watching homeschoolers for many years before we started, it appears that far less of them leave the Faith or stray from it. I’ve known a few (and I stress few) that were socially inept but I’ve known far more who were incredibly well educated, adjusted, responsible, etc.

I do a lot with the teens in our homeschooling group and I’m always impressed by them. I also coach softball in our city leagues and I’m far less impressed with them. The language alone is enough to keep me from sending mine to school. Yes, it’s not all kids, but it does seem to be a lot of them from my experience of being in this league for 7 years. I just don’t want my kids steeped in it.

Homeschooling is not for everyone. Some do it for the right reasons and some do it for the wrong reason. Some do it well and some do it badly. The same goes for people who send their kids to school.

 

[reganq]

Wow! This is a lively thread. First, I want to say that we do not h/s yet. DD is getting ready to enter kindergarten, so we will officially start in the fall. Reading this thread has really helped me work out a few thoughts. The OP wanted to know why h/s-ers do it.

While there are many reasons that we all choose to make this leap of faith and commit to such a tough job, I think (for me) it comes down to the fact that this is an extension of my vocation as a wife and mother. God has given us the gift of these beautiful, delicate little souls that are to be raised to love, honor and serve Him.

For us, the decision to h/s is not a decision of superiority. It is not because the parochial school here is bad. Nor is it because the public school here is bad. For us, it is because we feel that h/s-ing is the best way to help these souls grow into what God wants them to be.

PaulinVA, you had a line that really struck me as odd. You said that these families are insular. My experience has been that this is the situation. However, it is not because they choose to be. We live in an area where h/s-ing families are looked down upon. We have already been attacked from many sides for making the decision we’ve made. Perhaps, these families are insular because it is a defense mechanism. I don’t know for certain about where you live. That’s why I am just throwing this out there.

In addition to all of the other reasons that have been given by all of the wonderful parent educators out there, this method of educating our children will provide another advantage to our soon-to-be kindergartener. She is deaf in her left ear. She has been in a classroom environment for the past two years and loves it. But, there are some attitudes, habits, and sayings that she has picked up in the past two years from her classmates. Plus, she has frustration issues that come about because of her hearing loss. (The FM amplification system is not a cure-all.) By h/s-ing, we will be able to stay on top of her learning progress much better than relying on someone else who may not be as keen to her cues as her parents.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts. I enjoy these threads. They help to reinforce our discernment of the homeschooling decision.

 

[st_lucy]

Wow! This is a lively thread. First, I want to say that we do not h/s yet. DD is getting ready to enter kindergarten, so we will officially start in the fall. Reading this thread has really helped me work out a few thoughts. The OP wanted to know why h/s-ers do it.

While there are many reasons that we all choose to make this leap of faith and commit to such a tough job, I think (for me) it comes down to the fact that this is an extension of my vocation as a wife and mother. God has given us the gift of these beautiful, delicate little souls that are to be raised to love, honor and serve Him.

For us, the decision to h/s is not a decision of superiority. It is not because the parochial school here is bad. Nor is it because the public school here is bad. For us, it is because we feel that h/s-ing is the best way to help these souls grow into what God wants them to be.

PaulinVA, you had a line that really struck me as odd. You said that these families are insular. My experience has been that this is the situation. However, it is not because they choose to be. We live in an area where h/s-ing families are looked down upon. We have already been attacked from many sides for making the decision we’ve made. Perhaps, these families are insular because it is a defense mechanism. I don’t know for certain about where you live. That’s why I am just throwing this out there.

In addition to all of the other reasons that have been given by all of the wonderful parent educators out there, this method of educating our children will provide another advantage to our soon-to-be kindergartener. She is deaf in her left ear. She has been in a classroom environment for the past two years and loves it. But, there are some attitudes, habits, and sayings that she has picked up in the past two years from her classmates. Plus, she has frustration issues that come about because of her hearing loss. (The FM amplification system is not a cure-all.) **By h/s-ing, we will be able to stay on top of her learning progress much better than relying on someone else who may not be as keen to her cues as her parents.
**Thanks for letting me share my thoughts. I enjoy these threads. They help to reinforce our discernment of the homeschooling decision.

Thank you for sharing your story. After reading your story I wanted to add to mine. I bold the part that really hits home for my family. I come from a family of teachers, and I know how the classroom works. Students who are not out standing do have a tendency to get lost in the shuffle. As a hs teacher I know exactly how my children are going to learn and what attention they need to grow academically. I can focus on my daughters struggles in math and my sons struggles with reading on an individual bases, something that could not be possible in traditional school format. This has nothing to do with the teacher, but when you have 20 to 25 students per class, how can one teacher identify each students exact struggles?

 

[KCT]

Another reason I love hsing is because today when we were feeling a little burnt out we put on swim suits and ran threw the sprinklers at about the same time the other children were eating lunch.

Oh that takes me back!! My kids are now 21, 19 and 16. I have such fond memories of being together when they were younger and doing those spontaneous kinds of things . —KCT

 

[PaulinVA]

PaulinVA, you had a line that really struck me as odd. You said that these families are insular. My experience has been that this is the situation. However, it is not because they choose to be. We live in an area where h/s-ing families are looked down upon. We have already been attacked from many sides for making the decision we’ve made. Perhaps, these families are insular because it is a defense mechanism. I don’t know for certain about where you live. That’s why I am just throwing this out there.

I had no idea that hsers got grief from people about their decision. Is there a recurrent theme in the comments of others?

My older kids go to the largest school in the state, just outside Washington DC, with kids basically from every country in the world. As someone who grew up in the south during desegregation, this is so cool. That is what I meant by insular - my kids definitely don’t live in an environment where everyone looks the same, thinks the same. They are learning to deal with people that are just plain totally different.

My wife and I believe that only a portion of what you learn in school comes from the books.

Sure, it’s not perfect. There are clunker teachers. They teach motivation, perseverance and achieving a goal despite the odds. My kids have a larger vocabulary of dirty words then I would like - but, hey, knowing what the words are and using them are two different things, right?

 

[leonie]

. This has nothing to do with the teacher, but when you have 20 to 25 students per class, how can one teacher identify each students exact struggles?

This reminds me of an impression I had when I was in my first year of teaching high school Biology. I had a three month old at home (with dad) and I remember looking out at one of my classes and thinking, “all these kids have parents who love them so intensely. They send them off to school, hoping and praying that the teachers they have will see how unique and wonderful each one is.”

My next thought was, “I have no idea who any one of these kids are. I have 120 students. I only see these kids in groups of 25 for a fifty minute period where I have to monitor possible misbehavior, follow my lesson plan, take attendance, deal with collecting assignments, try to give the homework assignment clearly (knowing that I eventually have notes or calls from confused parents), and answer questions dealing more with procedures than concepts. There’s generally some kid who was absent and I have to deal with getting them caught up.”

Depending on the day, I was running labs, giving tests, showing videos, giving lectures, running group exercises. I never got to know any of their specific needs and strengths.

Of course, it is a little different with elementary teachers. If they don’t switch classes (and most do for different subjects), they only have 20-30 students. But, they have more preps (subjects to prep for) and more behavioral problems.

Often, I hear parents complaining that their kid’s teacher isn’t aware of some social problem like bullying. I’m not surprised at all. Teachers are so focused on the academics and the logistics of class management, there is little way that they can monitor the social interactions of the kids except in a rather general way.

It isn’t the teachers. It’s the structure of classroom teaching.

All parents want smaller class size for the kids so each child can get individual attention. Homeschooling provides that individual attention.

To me, homeschooling is ideal for students.

Sometimes, it’s not ideal for families or even for the primary teacher, though.

I feel the strain myself.

1. It’s being with your kids all the time. And, having all the siblings (more closeness, but also more squabbling) together all the time.

2.Your housework is constant. You have meals and snack prep every day, every meal for every child.

3.You also have to plan, implement, grade, manage fieldtrips, contribute to co-ops as a teacher or assistant or babysitter,

1. try to integrate prayer, devotions or daily Mass.
2. On top of this, you have your usual laundry, housework, bill paying, yardwork.
3. And, in a larger family, you have to give proper supervision to your toddlers as well as your older kids.
4. And, hey, don’t forget you are suppose to do your individual prayer time, Adoration, exercise and intellectual reading–don’t forget to get 8 hours of sleep.
5. love on your husband.
6. you have to be able to live on one income.
7. Don’t forget to arrange all the social interaction time.

It can be pretty exhausting. If you don’t have a good plan and good support, I think it’s not doable. Your kids have to help with housework. You need regular breaks and help with chores. And, your kids have to have some training in obedience. You can’t be fighting them constantly to get them to do their schoolwork and chores. You need a good support system of other homeschoolers.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

I had no idea that hsers got grief from people about their decision. Is there a recurrent theme in the comments of others?

LOL YOUR posts are the recurrent theme! (however unintended though it probably is)
the usual:
you think you’re holier than others and your kids are genius saints
your kids won’t play well with others
they’ll be weird
you are weird (I’d admit that one w/o a trace of shame! )
you aren’t smart enough to teach everything (as though any school teaches everything or has teachers who can teach everything! )

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absolutely none of which is true and even if it was wouldn’t have anything to do with what education method they used.

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so yeah, I don’t avoid the world, but some people in the world avoid hs-ers. thus I tend to choose to spend the majority of MY time with those who can support and encourage our family, just like any other parent would.

---

as for differences as you describe in one school
**- life has those too! in fact, most public schools are not as you describe because they are geographicly based and people tend to congregate with those they are familiar with. even in schools such as you describe, they rarely interact together by choice at school. There’s the rich kid table, the hispanic table, and so forth. They may sit next to each other as assigned in english class, but they are not neccessarily interacting with each other. **

---

sorry for type-o’s coffee, nursing baby, and typing doesn’t work well.

 

[reganq]

I had no idea that hsers got grief from people about their decision. Is there a recurrent theme in the comments of others?

I have found that when I tell people we are going to hs, people start to treat me with suspicion. As a case in point, I took DD to have her hearing test a few weeks ago. When the doc and I were discussing her results and what needs to be done in kindergarten, she changed her attitude when I told her that we are going to be hs-ing.

Even family members have the same negative comments. We have IMO successfully dealt with the argument about “socialization” of our children. Then the attacks are directed at me. Some examples: 1.) Are you sure you can do it? 2.) But, DD is making such good progress in her speech therapy. Do you really want to take her away from that? 3.) It’s so hard. Do you have the patience?

I figure that I owe it to my children to at least try hs-ing. As far as speech therapy goes, I believe the school district will still provide that service. (And, I don’t want her learning how to properly pronounce those words she doesn’t need to learn. ) I am sure that I will have plenty of opportunities to exercise patience.

To me, it seems this would take a minimum of 40 hours per week to accomplish!!

As far as the time factor goes, I don’t see where it will be creating that much extra work over sending them to school (aside from meals, snacks, etc.) From my experience with former co-workers, they had to go home and spend 4-5 hours a night with their kids on homework and projects. Adding that to a full day of work outside the home, meal prep, soccer, dance, etc. made for some very crabby times for my friends.

 

[Renny]

I had no idea that hsers got grief from people about their decision. Is there a recurrent theme in the comments of others?

My older kids go to the largest school in the state, just outside Washington DC, with kids basically from every country in the world. As someone who grew up in the south during desegregation, this is so cool. That is what I meant by insular - my kids definitely don’t live in an environment where everyone looks the same, thinks the same. They are learning to deal with people that are just plain totally different.

My wife and I believe that only a portion of what you learn in school comes from the books.

Sure, it’s not perfect. There are clunker teachers. They teach motivation, perseverance and achieving a goal despite the odds. My kids have a larger vocabulary of dirty words then I would like - but, hey, knowing what the words are and using them are two different things, right?

In regard to the negative recurrent comments-give me a break!! Martha’s post pretty well sums them up-I am particularly offended by those (aside from myself) who think I’m not smart enough!! Seriously though, yes, many folks around here think we’re weird to begin with b/c we’re Catholic!! & homeschooling?!?
One reason I want to hs IS to expose our kids to others unlike them on the surface, b/c that’s the best way to see we are all so similar!!
-I know of no parent who thinks all learning comes from books!
-& on one last note-no method is perfect, I think it’s true that we all just do the best we can w/the infomation we have at the time & the love for our kids we all possess.

 

[KCT]

My older kids go to the largest school in the state, just outside Washington DC, with kids basically from every country in the world. That is what I meant by insular - my kids definitely don’t live in an environment where everyone looks the same, thinks the same. They are learning to deal with people that are just plain totally different.

It sounds like your family is happy with its choices. What school is it?

When our son was in Navy boot camp, a conversation started up about homeschoolers - all the typical stereotypes: they don’t know how to act around people their own age, they’re nerdy, they don’t know how to stand in line, blah, blah blah.

My son went along with it for a while and then announced he had been homeschooled. The other recruits replied with comments like, “Wow, you’re cool around everyone,” or “We never would have guessed.” He then went on to tell them they shouldn’t stereotype anyone - homeschooled or otherwise .

He’s getting along great w/ everyone (which I think is because he’s a laid back kind of guy, not because he was homeschooled!) and likes Navy life so far. —KCT

 

[leonie]

Here’s one stereotype I’m sad to dispel about my hsed kids.

They aren’t particularly devout or well-behaved. I’d say they are pretty typical.

I would say they are pretty well catechized–they know their stuff, but they aren’t that spiritually focused. This is the work of the Holy Spirit, so I try to dwell on it too much. I wish they were more prayerful and closer to God, though.

My daughters (ages 5 and 12) do very well in manners and general behavior. But, my boys !! They embarrass me all the time. agh.

Oh well. They are just kids, and I think some kids are just harder than others.

 

[leonie]

I think Paul’s comments have been enlightening because they show some of the perceptions that are out there about hsers.

I also think Paul has been pretty humble and gracious about taking our admonishments.

Maybe, we should had a thread dispellling myths about homeschooling. Though, it will be hard because each family’s experience is so unique.

And, a lot of misperceptions about homeschooling is wrapped up in other aspects of our very Catholic world view.

 

[PaulinVA]

It sounds like your family is happy with its choices. What school is it?
—KCT

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robinson_Secondary_School

In reading the last couple of posts below, I have to say that there are misconceptions and stereotypes on all sides of the hs issue. On my part, I guess that the hsers I know make me feel defensive about my choice to send my kids to public school, and that certainly comes through. Is it them making me feel that way or me making me feel that way? I don’t know. You all are very nice people.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Interesting thread… and I haven’t been able to read the entire thing…
But I wanted to share a few of my thoughts…

I don’t think HS’ing is bad, nor do I think HS’ers are weird or anything. If that works for YOUR family, then fine… enjoy!

My only personal experience with HS’ing is observing 3 different families I’ve personally known who have HS’ed. They were all happy and well educated…

But, based on my observations of their personality traits, I would not want to raise my own children in that manner.

My observation of these 3 families is limited of course… and I’m sure there are plenty of other methods and outcomes of HS’ers…

It’s just a basic personal parenting choice.
I like the “education” I gained by being in a traditional school/classroom situation. I put education in quotes because it’s NOT just about the books. Those HS’ers I observed did not get the same overall “education” that I thrived on. I feel like I would be depriving my own children of something if I chose to HS them.

If you feel like you’re giving your children the best overall “education” (in your given situation) by HS’ing… then that’s WONDERFUL! That’s what we’re supposed to do as parents! I’m glad we all have choices…

 

[gardenswithkids]

…On my part, I guess that the hsers I know make me feel defensive about my choice to send my kids to public school, and that certainly comes through. Is it them making me feel that way or me making me feel that way? I don’t know. You all are very nice people.

Thank you. Paul, as you wrote much earlier that at one point your wife considered homeschooling, I wonder if some of the comments from the homeschoolers you know might have been their “lobbying” efforts to encourage you to homeschool. They may not mean to make you “defense” about your choice, but they may simply wish for you to consider homeschooling your children and therefore they may give you some of the “cons” against public school as well as the “pros” for homeschooling. Rather than thinking their kids “too good to associate with yours”, it’s quite possible they consider you nice people and wish their kids could spend more time with yours–which they could do more easily if your kids were homeschooled.

Most of my friends use public or parochial schools. I don’t wish to force my family’s educational on anyone else, nor do I fault people who for whatever reason conclude homeschooling isn’t for them. (I don’t even home educate all of mine–the oldest attends a private high school.) But, believe me, if a friend of mine expresses interest, I encourage them to homeschool! I know other homeschooling families, but I sure would love if other people who were already our family’s friends choose to homeschool.

Perhaps some of the people you know just pushed homeschooling a bit too hard, making you feel you had to defend your choice to send your kids to public school–and then your defense put them on the defense and so on and so forth.

 

[bear06]

Hey Paul, I might have missed it but what ages are your children? Just curious.

 

[KCT]

PaulinVA:

In reading the last couple of posts below, I have to say that there are misconceptions and stereotypes on all sides of the hs issue. On my part, I guess that the hsers I know make me feel defensive about my choice to send my kids to public school, and that certainly comes through. Is it them making me feel that way or me making me feel that way? I don’t know. You all are very nice people.

It’s not just homeschooling. People get defensive about spanking vs not spanking, cry it out vs not crying, bottle feeding vs breast feeding, Ford vs Chevy! We’re human. —KCT

 

[PaulinVA]

Hey Paul, I might have missed it but what ages are your children? Just curious.

They are 10, 13, and 16. And the oldest who is with God. Two boys and two girls.

 

[rayne89]

My wife and I decided not to homeschool because of temperament of our children. Plus, it’s pretty presumptuous to believe that a couple can create or buy a curriculum and do a better educational job than an average to good school district.

Home schoolers create an insular environment where they only hang out with other home schoolers and generally don’t deem to participate in life with the rest of us. Maybe it’s where I live, but generally the home schoolers around here are nice enough to the rest of us, but their superior holier than though attitude makes me glad I’m not one of them.

There seems to be a hierarchy of “what’s best for catholic kids” that start at the poor unholy slobs that send their kids to public school, then the kids going to Catholic school, then the penultimate kids that are home schooled.

Why is that? Several people have mentioned that they homeschool for the family benefits and closeness of the family? Is there any educational benefit?

Ouch.

Why is it presumptuous? I know my child better than anyone. I can tailor her curriculmn to her learning style. I can make changes even mid year if I have to. Schools have 20 to 30 kids in a class it’s not feasable to address each individual’s needs. I can do that for my daughter. She’s lest likely to get burned out because she doesn’t have hours of homework after school. There is huge educational benefits. So many classes are available through homeschool support group. We can go on many educational field trips and tailor it to our curriculmn. My daughter can learn in an enviroment where not she’s exposed to cliques, teasing and teachers that teach things that are against our moral beliefs. I know I went through the public school system. We can bring faith to every aspect of her educational experience.

Half my daughter’s friends are public school children. She has more time to be social because she’s not weighted down with hours of homework.She spends her entire summer attending a day camp through our city’s Parks and Recreation Department and she’s the only homeschooled child there (that I’m aware of anyway).

My closest friends have their children in the public school system. I don’t look down my nose at them. I don’t think I’m superior. I think I’m doing whats best for my child. I think alot of non-homeschoolers look at as freaks who raise their children is some kind of protective bubble enviroment. Maybe some do but I’ve never met one yet.

 

[rayne89]

Worry about our child rebelling against our lifestyle? Well all parents worry about their child rebelling. But my daughter absolutely does not want to enter the school system -at least not right now, I suppose it could change but knowing her I don’t see that. I take homeschooling year by year.

We get to spend so much time as a family. She is so close to her dad who works afternoon shift. If she went to school she would only see him on the weekends. Homeschooling is just a part of our very close family dynamic. My husband and I both teach our daughter. When he has a lot of overtime I do most of the work, when he’s been laid off and I pick up extra hours at my job he does most of the work. When I have to go to Mayo Clinic out of state we can pack up her books and take her along without worrying about disrupting her education.

She sees regular everyday life much more than a child in school waiting in line at the lunch counter. She comes to my doctor appts. She has been able to view my echocardiograms, ekgs, pacemaker checks, and blood drawn. She knows the bank teller, my pharmacist, and my managers at work by name. Right now she’s spending a few days with her (paternal) grandparents who live out of town. My parents who live nearby do many fun things with her. She gets to live life instead of spending so much time sitting in a classroom.

And she does normal kid stuff that other kids in school do. She belongs to girlscouts, takes piano lessons, takes art class, gym class etc.

What’s right for some families does make others that choose something different wrong.