What's so great about homeschooling?

[maryjk]

Mary,

I am being no more judgmental than you were in your diatribe below that espoused the Catholic hierarchy of educational holiness - Home School; if you can’t hs, at least send your kids to Catholic private school; and, if all else fails (if you are some poor slob whose wife has to work), send your kids to public school.

Come on, people.

We all feel that we have made the right choice for our families. We all (me included) need to have a little compassion and charity toward others who have made different choices.

Do we really need to continue this thread? One more rebuttal for everyone and call it a closed thread?

The thread started out as a why we home school and what we think is great about it. It was never to be a thread about why others think we shouldn’t or why you don’t. This thread was for someone that is thinking about home schooling.

And sorry, but I feel that everyone should consider home schooling. If it is not a good option, because you live in a great area for schools, you are not available to school or you don’t feel you can, then look to other options. Other options include private and public school. And yes, I think public school should be your last choice. Think about it this way. If someone came to you and said, I will pay for your children to attend this wonderful Catholic school, I will pay for transportation, the school it true to Catholic teaching. What would you do? If you would even think about it or consider it, you agree that private school could be a better choice. Not that it IS. Just that it could be.

I have lots of friends that do not home school. I have friends that home schooled but now send their children to school. And I have friends that home school some of their children but send others to school. And I used to send my child to school, but stopped when we moved to a new state.

I have nothing against you sending your child to where ever is best for them. But I do have problems with people that feel that because I home school I am being presumptuous to think that I can possibly teach my own child. And I have problems with people that feel that because I home school I think am superior to others that don’t.

I guess I should never tell anyone about the benefits of home schooling. I should never tell anyone about how much we love it. But that doesn’t make sense.

 

[bear06]

So, basically, we need to respect each other’s choices.

Does it really matter? You do what you think God wants you to do for your children and I’ll do the same. I’m don’t really get why we have to be concerned with what others are doing unless it directly effects our family. Obviously we think our choice fits the bill.

That said, I’m still going to look at the kids who walk by my house everyday and thank God my kids aren’t subjected to them. I’m still going to get my standardized test scores back and think that I am doing a better job with my kids than the teachers down the street could. I’m still going to look at what great kids my children are right now and thank God that we made the decision we did because it’s working out wonderfully. Sorry. I can’t help it. I think our choice was superior for us!

While I have seen some homeschooling train wrecks, the majority I’ve seen have been successes. While I have seen some great public school kids, the majority I’ve seen are train wrecks. You may get your children out unscathed and that’s a great tribute to **you **not necessarily the public school system. Sorry, this is just an opinion I can’t shake based on my experiences. I think if you randomly picked 100 Catholic homeschoolers an 100 Catholic public school kids, the homeschoolers would be the winner in retaining the Faith, defending the Faith and probably would be better educated hands down. Again, this is based on my experience. I have yet to meet a homeschooling graduate that has left the Faith. That doesn’t mean they aren’t out there (in fact, I’ve heard they are) because, again, homeschooling doesn’t erase sin. I just don’t personally know any.

I, on the other hand, have known many public school grads who have left the Faith. This tells me something and I can’t really deny the message I’m getting based on my experience. If your’s is different then go for it or continue on! You’ve got my permission to have an opinion as to what you think God wants you to do with your children and I won’t accuse you of a superiority complex. I have no reason to think that your decision hasn’t had much thought and prayer put into it. I just don’t think your decision is best for my family and I’ve got my doubts as to whether or not it’s best for most families based on what I’ve seen.

I don’t really think that holding this opinion gives me a superiority complex. I think that I’ve said before that not everyone is called to homeschool. For some this would be a mistake. I still can’t deny that, based on what I’ve seen, that homeschooled children seem to fair better in their Faith as well as there education. This isn’t saying anything about you or your choice but it is saying something about the public education system.

 

[rayne89]

Well, I’ve already been raked over the coals for my initial posts.

But, when I read yours, I can’t but help feel the superior attitude. I’m really glad that you have found something that works for you. But you are insulting, whether you mean to or not, when you say things such as “She gets to live life instead of spending so much time sitting in a classroom.” and “There are huge educational benefits.” and “My daughter can learn in an environment where not she’s exposed to cliques, teasing and teachers that teach things that are against our moral beliefs.” Those are generic indictments against the educational system I have chosen.

If homeschoolers want to be accepted by the general population, then they need to tone down that superior rhetoric. I don’t care if you home school - but don’t make me feel stupid and unloving because I didn’t make your choice.

And, if all of the devout Catholics take their kids out of the public schools, where is Christ?

You asked what the educational benefits are and then I’m being superior by answering your question?

She does get to live regular daily life more than her ps schooled friends. Homeschooling takes about three hours a day. Ps schooled children spend 6 or more hours at school plus the bus ride or ride to and from school. She has no homework, most of her ps friends have around 2 hours a night. That’s not an indictment on public schools. I only have to teach 1 child which takes much less time than teaching 20 to 30 -it frees her up to do other things.
And she can learn in an environment where not she’s exposed to cliques, teasing and teachers that teach things that are against our moral beliefs. I went to public school that is the enviroment I grew up in. Our teachers taught things that went against my family’s morals, I was teased, there were cliques.
I get to tailor and adjust my curriculum as I see fit, I can plan field trips, she can choose from an array of elective classes from our hs group, I can incorporate our faith into each subject -these are huge educational benefits to me.
I don’t understand how I’m being superior. You asked the question and I answered it.

 

[eliza3b]

That said, I’m still going to look at the kids who walk by my house everyday and thank God my kids aren’t subjected to them. I’m still going to get my standardized test scores back and think that I am doing a better job with my kids than the teachers down the street could. I’m still going to look at what great kids my children are right now and thank God that we made the decision we did because it’s working out wonderfully. Sorry. I can’t help it. I think our choice was superior for us!

.

Jesus spent a lot of time with people whom the Pharisees, Scribes and Elders didn’t want to be subjected to.

Just a thought.

 

[Lorik]

The superior attitude begins with the bashing of other people’s schooling choices. Especially the direct bashing of children, from both sides. I hear a lot more bashing of children from homeschooling families than from anyone else. It’s embarrassing to hear so called devout families talk so poorly about other children .
If people want to talk about what they love about their schooling choice, that’s great. But why talk about what you hate about other people’s choice?

 

[rayne89]

rayne89, in my orig post, I was looking for how working moms also homeschool-in most of the hsing families w/whom I’m aquainted, the moms do not work outside the home & then there’s one I know where the mom operates a busn from home. I am looking to go back to school & my husb works mids, can you offer any (name removed by moderator)ut about how you organize your day, or how you have time to both work & hs? I would love to operate a busn from home but don’t know what on earth I’d do…Thanks, Renny

I work part time in the mornings (well until early afternoon) and my husband works afternoon shift which means he has to be to work by 4:00 pm. My daughter is old enough now (11) where I can leave her assignments and she can do them on her own on the days I work. New concepts I save for my days off. Anything she gets stuck on I help her with when I get home. Anthing she doesn’t complete we finish after dinner. Mainly because I have health issues and need to nap after work everyday because I’m worn out.

About half her subjects are on CD-Rom (Switched on School House) so those generally need very little (name removed by moderator)ut from me. When my daughter was younger my husband would work with her on the days I worked. Easy assignments (handwriting practice, reading etc.) she completed when she woke up, harder ones she completed with supervision/instruction from my husband when he got up about around noon. He often works 12 hour shifts so he sleeps late. Anything not completed before I got home we finished after dinner.

We both take turns driving her to what ever homeschool event (party, fieldtrip, class etc.) as our schedule allows. Sometimes he drops off and I pick up.

When he was laid off he took over nearly all the homeschooling because I was just plain worn out after working all day. My hubby is actually great at the Mr. Mom thing. He’d be a great stay at home dad if I had the stamina to work full time (and bring in the money he does. )

Hope that helps a little.

 

[Contarini]

I really am so ambivalent about this. Please bear with me.

The breaks in learning, the wasted time, waiting for Johnny to ‘get it’ - isn’t that like real life? The line at the DMV comes to mind.

Is that really something you want to hold up as a good example of “real life”? Isn’t our overly bureaucratized society a problem in and of itself?

The argument has been made on this thread and elsewhere that public schooling developed with the deliberate intention of churning out little cogs for the wheels of industrialized society. Maybe this is too paranoid. But certainly your arguments support this basic view of public schooling. You seem to be saying that because adult society treats people like machine parts, it’s good to have a school system that trains kids to be machine parts. But maybe the answer is to change society?

Edwin

 

[leonie]

The superior attitude begins with the bashing of other people’s schooling choices. Especially the direct bashing of children, from both sides. I hear a lot more bashing of children from homeschooling families than from anyone else. It’s embarrassing to hear so called devout families talk so poorly about other children .
If people want to talk about what they love about their schooling choice, that’s great. But why talk about what you hate about other people’s choice?

Really? I think hsers are critical of schools. It’s extrapolating to say we are critical of schooling families or schooled kids.

The truth is that hsing is choosing one lifestyle over another. So, it is necessary to weigh pros and cons of each. One reason we homeschool is that we don’t want our family time taken up with homework. So, that is more of a negative reason and important consideration.

Esp. considering that research shows that homework is not beneficial at all in elementary grades and only mildly beneficial in middle school grades.

I think it’s a problem of communication. When we say: we don’t approve of the school model of education, why do so many hear, “we don’t approve of you.” :nope: That’s not it at all.

It makes me sad.

 

[drawnhome]

hm, maybe it is the age of the kid factor. I have four hsing school age kids, a preschooler and a toddler. I’m pretty stretched.

The ages do make a HUGE difference. I realized that after I posted, that these days for me are different with two teenage boys. They are independent, I can leave them at home if I have something to do, etc. The days with all five at home, even though they were in school, I was stretched to the limit. And honestly, from those days till now, I have never caught up on laundry. I am starting to think it’s just me.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

you are insulting, whether you mean to or not, when you say things such as “She gets to live life instead of spending so much time sitting in a classroom.” and “There are huge educational benefits.” and “My daughter can learn in an environment where not she’s exposed to cliques, teasing and teachers that teach things that are against our moral beliefs.”
**They are truth and if that insults you, that can’t be helped. **

don’t make me feel stupid and unloving because I didn’t make your choice.

I don’t think 1 person has done this. You are doing it to yourself. You choose to read a hs-ing thread about the reasons people hs and then get insulted because you don’t like how it makes you feel about choosing public school.

And, if all of the devout Catholics take their kids out of the public schools, where is Christ?

I imagine He will grace the world the way he did for thousands of years before modern public schools were formed, less than 150 years ago.

I think we are getting to the root of the attitudes. Most public school parents don’t give it a second thought. Public school isn’t superior - it just is there.
**THAT is something I do judge. Don’t even give it a thought?! No thought put into where you are putting your kid for 8 - 10 hours a day for the next 12 years?!!! **

Public school is the norm. There needs to be a compelling reason (a superior choice) to depart from the norm.
No, there doesn’t. That is your personal opinion, but no one else has to do it. We are called to do what is best for our children, not to just do whatever society is doing without giving it any thought.

I don’t feel that I have made a superior choice; there’s just none better.
:whacky: That’s pretty clear example of what superior is. The choice that none are better than.

That’s the crux of the attitudes. You feel you have made a superior educational choice, and most people either don’t think it’s superior or haven’t given it a thought at all.

**That’s their mistake then. Every parent should do their personal best to give the best education possible to their children. If they have no choice, but to accept whatever is available, then that’s understandable and I hope it turns out to be great. But to give it no thought or to actually choose a lesser education? Why in the world would any parent do that? Whatever educational choice, it would be because I thought that was the superior choice for their education. **

I am being no more judgmental than you were in your diatribe below that espoused the Catholic hierarchy of educational holiness - Home School; if you can’t hs, at least send your kids to Catholic private school; and, if all else fails (if you are some poor slob whose wife has to work), send your kids to public school.

I have done private and public for my kids before homeschooling. After that, I would have to say I agree with Mary’s order of selection. No one is calling it “educational holiness” except you and no one is calling anyone a “poor slob” except you.

We all feel that we have made the right choice for our families.
Actually according to you, you didn’t give it even a second thought.

We all (me included) need to have a little compassion and charity toward others who have made different choices.
**Why? So you made a different choice. No one is saying anything against you for it, except you. Compassion and charity for what? According to you it’s going great for you, so why do you need compassion and charity for it? **

The amount of school bashing that I hear from other homeschooling families is crazy.

This drives me nuts. People join a homeschool support group and then get ticked when they hear about other’s opinions about schools. Hello! They do not support public school, they support homeschoolers! The only public or private school “bashing” I have heard or done has been based on personal expereince. If people don’t want to hear, then fine - don’t listen. Change the topic or whatever. But please understand that homeschoolers usually are not going to be supportive of public or private schools. There are PTA’s for that.

Jesus spent a lot of time with people whom the Pharisees, Scribes and Elders didn’t want to be subjected to.

**Yes, He certainly did spent a great deal of time telling people they could try something “superior” if they were willing to do it. **

 

[bear06]

Jesus spent a lot of time with people whom the Pharisees, Scribes and Elders didn’t want to be subjected to.

Just a thought.

It’s not like we don’t see these people. I’ve said this before. We’re just not steeped in them.

Also, it really seem futile to compare Christ’s tactics with the Pharisees and imply that children ought to do the same. I believe Christ said “Let the children come unto me”. Not “bring the children to Pharisees.” Also, following the “come unto me” verse is “do not hinder them”.
And let’s not forget:

18:6. But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Just another thought!

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

The superior attitude begins with the bashing of other people’s schooling choices.
It’s not “bashing” if it’s a legit reason, imho.

Especially the direct bashing of children, from both sides. I hear a lot more bashing of children from homeschooling families than from anyone else. It’s embarrassing to hear so called devout families talk so poorly about other children .
hmm, being mean to a child is not tolorated regardless of schooling method, imho, I very rarely see this. My children play with all the neighborhood and church kids and no one ever says anything mean to each other just because of schooling choice.

If people want to talk about what they love about their schooling choice, that’s great. But why talk about what you hate about other people’s choice?
b/c avoiding or changing those things is a mahor factor in hs-ing for many parents.

Really? I think hsers are critical of schools. It’s extrapolating to say we are critical of schooling families or schooled kids.

I think it’s a problem of communication. When we say: we don’t approve of the school model of education, why do so many hear, “we don’t approve of you.” :nope: That’s not it at all.
**I agree! **

 

[mamacita]

I’ve been considering homeschooling our kids for some time & have now decided to go ahead & do it! We’ll be starting this Fall & I am really nervous & excited.
Our kids have been in private schools so far, first a Montessori for our daughter then our local priv Catholic school for K-3 and our son attended Pre-K there as well this yr. Largely due to financial reasons & also b/c I feel we are supposed to hs-we will be.
I read on the CHC website that homeschooled kids typically score higher on academic achievement tests than public schooled kids-why is this?
And additionally, why is homeschooling better (for those to choose to…) than other schooling options? or-why does homeschooling work for you?
Also, for those moms who work outside the home or go to school yourself & homeschool your children, how do you do it & more importantly-WHY?
(I think I am looking for encouragement here…but open to all related responses…)
Renny

Renny,

I too have been considering homeschooling for quite some time now and may start in the fall. I think school is too easy for my son who is in second grade. He needs more of a challenge and I believe through homeschooling we can achieve that. The school he is at is our parish school and of course one track learning.

Also, I would like to add that today I did playground duty at his parochial school …and boy, did it ever make me realize why I am considering homeschooling. First off, a 1st gr. came to me in tears that some girls were picking on her. Then a KINDERGARTENER boy came to me crying that a GIRL was kicking him. I had no idea who it was but I turned around and caught her in the act of violently (imo) kicking another boy!! How awful!! And these are kindergarteners! They should not be bullying that young, nobody should be, but especially not 5 year olds!!
Then the icing on the cake was when I overheard 3 girls having it out about 5 feet away from me. These girls were in maybe 6 th grade at the most. This is what I saw and heard: Kayley get away from me. You are mean. then the girl “kayley” went to talk to her and the girl’s reply was “Kayley shut the * * * * up!” okay it was a four letter word starting with F. I refuse to type it. Now remember, this is a Catholic school, so it does happen everywhere, not just public. However I stopped the girl and said “excuse me, do we talk like that?” and at that point another mom came to my rescue that knew the girl’s name and said “come with me, we’re going to the office” Needless to say, I don’t agree with kids being so vicious…people say “kids will be kids” but I disagree with that, that is like excusing their bad behavior, ‘Let kids be kids’ is what I say but by that I mean keep them away from the violence that seems to be flocking our schools. It is our job as parents to safe guard our children from harm is it not? By that I mean the cursing, bullying, and whatever else I haven’t seen yet. But we shall see what my husband thinks!!

 

[bear06]

It’s embarrassing to hear so called devout families talk so poorly about other children .

This would seem to be a straw argument. Have you never thought something similar to “I’m really glad that the girl who’s pants are low enought to see her thong underwear is not my daughters friend”? Or “that’s horrible that those boys are walking around with all but their pants all but falling off”. There are simply horrible things happening by and to children everyday. Heck, our neighborhood just formed a neighborhood watch group to protect their children from other children. I had no idea that there kids were being beaten up, pocket searched (cute little program of kids making other kids give them everything in their pockets), harassed, etc. on a routine basis in my neighborhood and I live in a fairly nice neighborhood! That was a real eye opener because none of this ever happens to my kids. There are bad, immoral kids out that. Color me superior for understanding that fact.

If people want to talk about what they love about their schooling choice, that’s great. But why talk about what you hate about other people’s choice?

Maybe I missed it but I don’t think I’ve seen one person who has said anything about hating someone else’s choice.

 

[Lorik]

This drives me nuts. People join a homeschool support group and then get ticked when they hear about other’s opinions about schools. Hello! They do not support public school, they support homeschoolers! The only public or private school “bashing” I have heard or done has been based on personal expereince. If people don’t want to hear, then fine - don’t listen. Change the topic or whatever. But please understand that homeschoolers usually are not going to be supportive of public or private schools. There are PTA’s for that.

Homeschool support does not mean it’s fine to gossip about other people’s kids! I’m not talking about people having a discussion about their own experience. I’m talking about the people that thrive on hearing every little thing wrong in school from friends or family and then can’t wait to bring it into the homeschool group to gossip about how awful those other kids are and what terrible things are going on in school. Why does this have to happen? Why can’t some homeschooling families be secure enough in their decision to homeschool w/o being hateful?

 

[drawnhome]

Homeschool support does not mean it’s fine to gossip about other people’s kids! I’m not talking about people having a discussion about their own experience. I’m talking about the people that thrive on hearing every little thing wrong in school from friends or family and then can’t wait to bring it into the homeschool group to gossip about how awful those other kids are and what terrible things are going on in school. Why does this have to happen? Why can’t some homeschooling families be secure enough in their decision to homeschool w/o being hateful?

I have never actually had this experience. One of the things I love the most is the community of parents I have met through our Catholic homeschool support group. They truly live their faith, and it shows in their families and in the way they conduct themselves. Is this happening in your homeschool group? If so, it might be a good idea to bring people back to the focus of raising our families in faith, and that gossiping is simply one of the things that can’t be tolerated if we are to be an example of Christ’s love.

 

[gardenswithkids]

I’ve never had any desire to hs my children. I really enjoyed school when I was a child. I liked making new friends and going on field trips, field day and flag day. I loved Valentines Day and all the parties that we celebrated during the school year. Yes, I was a social butterfly. My children are still quite young (12,10,7 & 5), but they love going to school. Maybe high school will be a different story.

Mandatory school laws exist to ensure academic achievement, but then people throw out how homeschooling deprives children of social opportunities. Not every homeschooler is a social misfit–some are even social butterflies that enjoy parties, new friends, and field trips too! Parents who want social perks usually send children to school, leaving homeschoolers on the fray of many social and community activities. Before the days of mandatory education, the social butterflies of the world often directed their energy into celebrations for the entire community, not just in the public schools.

And about the stereotypes, I think it goes both ways. There are plenty of myths about school that are spouted by homeschoolers that are way off base, especially by people who’ve had no experience in a school (public or private) for decades. My children’s public school is far more nuturing and filled with wonderful teachers & staff than I would have known had I not enrolled my children there. They are thriving. Perhaps there would be more homeschoolers in my area if the schools weren’t as good as they are, but most parents I know are very happy with the education that their children are receiving.

Glad your children have a good learning experience, but you acknowledge there would be more homeschoolers if it wasn’t. (I bet if you homeschooled, you’d throw some pretty cool parties during the school day for your kids and their homeschooled friends, and if we lived by you we’d want to come. ) Where I live most everyone also thinks the public schools are great, but I have different opinion. We moved here for the “good public schools” and our children attended them for a couple of years. I know children can get a good academic education, find wonderful nurturing teachers, etc. in some American public schools. But they cannot receive a great education because God is great and public schools aren’t permitted to teach openly about Him.

“What is so great about homeschooling?” ***God ***is what is so great about homeschooling. God established *parents *as the primary educators of children. We call schools “alma mater” literally meaning “other mother”. The phrase applied to schools is “en loco parenti”, literally meaning “in the place of the parent”. School official serve not only as educators, but also as parents-in-absentia to students. In at least one state, even the bus drivers are legally labeled as “parents in absentia”.

Teachers can be wonderful and nurturing—even “parents in absentia” generally nurture children. But teachers at the local public school are not my children’s mother or father—they are, for the most part, total strangers. Yet parents commonly entrust the children God gave them to total strangers in exchange for some reading lessons and parties. Good parents then typically get heavily involved-- assisting the schools with fund raisers, parties and field trips, and helping their children with homework. (Homework looks a lot like homeschooling to me .) Good parents seem to instinctively know that they have a responsibility for their children’s education; I believe that instinct comes from God–who designed *parents *to educate children.

 

[bear06]

Homeschool support does not mean it’s fine to gossip about other people’s kids! I’m not talking about people having a discussion about their own experience. I’m talking about the people that thrive on hearing every little thing wrong in school from friends or family and then can’t wait to bring it into the homeschool group to gossip about how awful those other kids are and what terrible things are going on in school. Why does this have to happen? Why can’t some homeschooling families be secure enough in their decision to homeschool w/o being hateful?

Uh, a big part of the reason many of us homeschool is because of the bad kids and terrible things that are happening in school. So, when the question is asked “What’s so great about homeschooling?” we’re going to say that not being exposed to the bad kids and terrible school situations are one of the good things.

This conversation seems to be getting silly. I’m fine with people not liking my choice and I’m fine if people think God is truly calling them to put there kids in school - public or private. There is a serious problem with many of the kids walking past my house on the way home from school everyday but I guess I’m supposed to ignore that lest I think I’m superior. There’s also a problem with the vast majority of the democratic party. Am I supposed to be superior for holding that opinion too? I find it hard to believe anyone relaying a personal experience with no names, places, etc. is said to be gossiping. If this were the case than nobody could ever relay personal experiences on these forums.

My opinions are based on observation and experience (of which I have a big amount of through city sports). Maybe there are some microcosms that don’t have this problem but I’ve yet to see them. Remember, I’m not living in an ivory tower. Especially this time of year I have major interaction in a coaching (teaching) capacity and I’m always more convicted this time of year that our decision is the right one for our family.

 

[Lorik]

I find it hard to believe anyone relaying a personal experience with no names, places, etc. is said to be gossiping. If this were the case than nobody could ever relay personal experiences on these forums.

I’m not talking about the forums. I’m talking about homeschooling cliques.
Don’t get me wrong, there are many great things about homeschooling. However, PaulinVA has some valid points that you just can’t blow off. There are many homeschooling families with a “holier-than-thou” attitude and it’s dishonest not to acknowledge that fact.

 

[maryjk]

I’m not talking about the forums. I’m talking about homeschooling cliques.
Don’t get me wrong, there are many great things about homeschooling. However, PaulinVA has some valid points that you just can’t blow off. There are many homeschooling families with a “holier-than-thou” attitude and it’s dishonest not to acknowledge that fact.

You and PauinVA may perceive that there is a holier than thou attitude, does that make it so? Maybe these families are just tired of having to defend their way of raising their children.

I know I am. I tend to jump on someone that tells me how wonderful the schools are around here and how they can’t believe I wouldn’t want my child to be part of it. “We have such a great sports program. Doesn’t Little Johnny want to play sports?” Nope, he doesn’t and if that is what our school system has to offer, no wonder I home school.