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Jonikiro, have you thought it through? So let’s say you have sex with your girlfriend and she becomes pregnant. What are you going to do? Are you ready to help her raise your baby? Are you ready to be a father?
How about 104 different sexually transmitted diseases.
Yep. Pre-marital sex is basically cheating on your spouse, except it happens before the wedding, instead of after.
She said she was being honest. And she said she it was for emotional rather than religious reasons at that time. Perhaps these questions did not arise until AFTER she got married. Furthermore, she said it would not have been her preference! If her husband had been a virgin, don’t you think it would have been hyprocritical NOT to marry him because of that reason? Keep what she said in context.
). In 2 months will be our 1 year anniversary. but to avoid serious sin such as this, you have to avoid the situations that allow it to happen, and that means you can’t EVER be alone, until you are married. You (and your girlfriend) should also check out the books and such recommended above so you can truly understand what the Church teaches about the beauty and sanctity of the MARTIAL embrace.If you have any other type of sexual contacts, it will lead to intercourse. So, my best advice is don’t do anything but innocent kissing. You should also avoid being in private places where you might end up having sex. Don’t hang out anywhere where there’s not at least the possibility of someone walking.Well, after reading all your responses, I suppose I can give a few more details. (this is gonna be long, so bear with me)
My girlfriend and I met on a religious retreat. We’re both heavily involved in the church, both in servicing the masses and helping out in any religious education and etc. (and yeah, we both go to the same church
We had sex at the 6 month point. We had sex because we believed we couldn’t hold back any longer. The oral and other such stuff was becoming too hot, and thus we decided to take the safe(er) way and use condoms. It was the first time for both of us.
Unfortunately, about a week later, we decided to see what unprotected sex felt like. Of course, I pulled out, but it resulted in a pregnancy scare at the end of the month. A week before her period was scheduled to start, we got together and planned out everything we would have to do. For us, abortion/adoption were never options. Neither were contraceptives other than condoms (she’s not a fan of hormones)
After she missed her period, we all got ready to tell everyone. The last test for us was a home pregnancy test. After we used it, we learned…
She wasn’t pregnant.
The whole experience left us shaken, but glad. We vowed never to have sex again, and went to church to ask for forgiveness.
About 2 weeks later, we were having sex again. On the night it happened, she said she had brought an extra condom down because she knew it would happen. I felt guilty, to say the least.
So now, a few days later, I come to you looking for some common sense answers to this question. Some way I can make her understand why sex isn’t an option anymore. She seems to want it more than I do (which is understandable, since I’m the one wearing the condom = not too much feeling).
Though this may not mean much, I do plan to marry this woman. She plans to marry me as well. What we plan and what actually happens are two different things, yes, but the will is there. As I understand, oral sex and other forms of masturbation are against the church’s teachings as well.
I wasn’t willing to stop those forms of sex, and that’s what lead us to having sex again. How do you lead a pre-marital life void of sexual pleasures? It seems so difficult!
Whoah, so he is going to break it off with someone that he is in love with? Who is to say that they wouldn’t be able to stop having sex anyway? Maybe it wouldn’t be something you could do but you can’t say that for this poster. That’s sad to tell him to break it off with her. He loves her. Good lord. I would have no respect for someone to break off their relationship with someone they are in love with just because they had premarital sex.
I know what he says is harsh, but looking back over my own life, I wish someone like him had sat me down and given me the hard truths like this.
Yes, sin is sin, that is true, but what about forgiveness?
No offense taken.
And I don’t mean to offend, either, just giving my opinion.Simple: You marry her!!
She’s a very lucky lady to have such a guy in her life!!
I’m surprised that no one has mentioned this so far (and I apologize if I missed it), but women and men view sex differently. Your girlfriend probably seems to “want it more” because she is equating sex with love. If you stop giving her sex, her brain reads that as you don’t love her enough or at all.