Not going to address your objections one by one. But it’s clear that you are so negative about what’s over there that you are almost totally incapable of finding anything good in there. Heck, the one positive thing you did cite, you couldn’t help but add a snarky tone to it. Gives meaning to your outlook.
As I said earlier in this thread, the best advice I got was to find what works and is compatible with being Catholic and toss the rest. To begin with, before I found the manosphere, no one ever had a coherent explanation why nice guys can’t get any respect, the best advice I got in those days was “just be yourself”. Well when one finds himself well down in the lower 50% of men and wants to do better, that advice is way worse than useless and I have contempt for anyone who says that now. Like that definition of insanity: expecting me to do the same thing over, but somehow thinking I’ll magically get different results.
Along those lines, no explanation for the friendzone and why I got put there, no explanation why some women including some of the ones I liked tended to go for bad guys who didn’t treat them well, no explanation why my father the naturally gregarious extrovert could not explain to his introverted son how he did it. Nor could my mother tell me anything more than to be nice, if only because she wanted me to stop clashing with her all the time. I love my parents, but I’m not like either of them in looks or personality.
Nobody told me why respect from wives to husbands is so important and how its loss always jeopardizes a marriage. I learned how the man acts to make it easy for her to respect him is important and I learned that her obligation to give him that respect is also important. As Guttmann writes, when a wife has contempt for her husband, that’s the surest indicator of all that a divorce is coming. Nice guys get divorced. Good guys who aren’t nice guys stand a better chance.
Before the manosphere, the only useful advice I got was, hey Z, you could learn public speaking, you could stand to lose some weight … and that was it.
Since then, I’ve done far better. I even had a long term relationship in which we contemplated marriage before we ultimately decided to break it off. Before the manosphere, that girl would have chewed up the old nice guy me and spit me into the friendzone before the 1st date was half over. But instead we had great times together and I have no regrets. I now understand what makes my parents’ marriage still a go after all these years. That makes me smile and gives me hope. There is a lot more to my transformation, but not enough space here so I’ll stop here.
I’m not that good looking and I’m well below 6’ tall, let’s be frank I still look like a dork though I’ve lost the weight. So online never worked for me. Not much in Catholic activities around here so secular, here I come. Back on topic, what’s the point of dating: for me, as serious an introvert as I have always been, just getting out of the house is the most important thing and dates are just a bonus.
