What's the point in dating in today's society

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Maybe it’s time to rework and bring back the idea of arranged marriages. Let someone with more experience do the sifting.
 
Have you made it clear to these men how you feel?

BTW, their dating approaches all stink to high heaven. Tell them to come on here and PM me for advice. They need it. Badly.
DarkLight said:
when he wasn’t out back on his breaks smoking pot. There’s the guy who had 3 kids with 3 different women by age 25 and wasn’t supporting any of them.
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I’ve encountered women like this. 18, 19 early 20s, want to keep the good Catholic boy in their back pocket while she sleeps around until she hits 30 and loses all of her good looks and maybe a kid or two along the way with a deadbeat dad. THEN it’s time for the decent guy to come in and save the day.

Or not.
 
I am guy, and I agree with you. I think the problem is humans complicate things too much.
It isn’t like women ( or men) are some out of space alien. Just treat a lady as any other human being and get to know her personality, if she is interested.

CountrySteve
 
jdavani said:
Except my dad is Muslim and my mom doesn’t believe in marriage
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You just have to rain on every parade now, don’t you? 😝 🤣 😉

I think Jim meant that there would be professional matchmakers of a variety of stripes. Of course you would have complete freedom to choose a good Catholic matchmaker. It’s just the wife you wouldn’t be able to choose. 😜
 
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My husband actually had a single friend who sought dating advice from him and couldn’t believe he hadn’t used some sort of secret trick to get a girlfriend.
 
I think it is just a maturing thing. Most guys (hopefully) figure it out, eventually.
 
I can see why people want to think that way and not just in dating but other things like becoming rich. It’s nice to think that success could instantly be yours once you discover the right trick.
 
Actually most guys don’t since there are more divorces and millennials will be the generation with the most people who will never marry
 
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You’re probably right. I’m a idealist. I do believe most guys can be mature. It just takes effort.
 
I know a guy who is an attorney and has his own firm but he has never had a girlfriend. He’s extremely catholic but too socially awkward
 
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I will remember him in my prayers tonight.
When priests are in seminary, they are taught to cultivate not only the spiritual life, but also are told to develop the intellectual and human life as well. The latter meaning social skills. it is the same with the laity.
I know, easier said than done, right?
 
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Some people can’t. Autism. I suspect my attorney friend suffers from it
 
I guess I fall into the minority category,my husband at 70 is still tall fair and handsome.Wven though his hair is mostly grey it still looks blonde😌
I have dark brown hair so maybe opposites attract.
 
DarkLight said:
Short guy with messy hair and a lower but steady income? Sure, why not, as long as I can actually talk to him.
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What about if he is short, bald, wears glasses, cannot dance except like a broomstick, does not like modern music, has buck teeth and a big nose and is nervous talking to girls but he has a steady income at his job in a chemistry lab? He doesn’t like gaming, except for chess.
 
jdavani said:
It’s not even a sound financial decision. More and more men and women have loads of college loans with worthless degrees. More men and women in today’s society don’t even want children or they value money over family. In today’s society if you refrain from having sex before marriage you’re weird.

Sure some of you may say then date a catholic. But they’re close to nonexistent. Even if there are Catholics who are single in their twenties most of them aren’t even devout. They’re just nominally catholic or they have extremely poor social skills because they were homeschooled. Let’s face it. It seems like the more devout you are the less attractive you are
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First, take a breath and define for yourself what it means to be “devout”. Some may go to extremes in what they define as “devout”, such as TLM only with full mantilla. Others may be satisfied with someone who goes to Mass every Sunday/HDO, does not hold heretical beliefs, has a similar sexual history (the whole “if I have to be a virgin so does my spouse”).

It is true that the number of practicing Catholics are dwindling, so you are not imagining things. There was a thread recently here on CAF about the dwindling number of millennials who are practicing Catholics; that generation is among the most secular in recent history here in the U.S. Additionally, I saw a thread here recently on whether Catholics should be there for each other. Unfortunately, when it comes to dating/marriage, the concept of “being there for your fellow Catholic” is not a priority; in fact, I’ve actually seen it dismissed outright by one poster, and another “prominent poster” told one young man point blank “You’re on your own”. What a shame, because if this is one way we can kill multiple birds with one stone, so to speak.

As far as online dating, I wonder if that contributes to “awkwardness”, as people start spending too much time behind a computer/smartphone and not enough real life interaction. But that’s just my impression.

I also saw that another poster referenced the National Catholic Singles Conference website. I’ve been to three, and the group of people there tend to be more serious marriage-minded Catholics. Age-wise, it seems to be 30 and up (I don’t know how old you are, but since you are finishing up law school, you must be at least in your mid-20s). It almost had a happy ending for me, except that the lady I met there and dated apparently had been discerning religious life and broke up with me to become a sister (which is why from now on one of the first questions I will ask on a date would be if she was done discerning convent).
 
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Norseman82 said:
Unfortunately, when it comes to dating/marriage, the concept of “being there for your fellow Catholic” is not a priority; in fact, I’ve actually seen it dismissed outright by one poster, and another “prominent poster” told one young man point blank “You’re on your own”.
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Well, what exactly do people expect?

If we were picking out spouses for each other Moonie-style, would people be happy with that?


People often gripe about the people their parents or friends try to set them up with.
 
Xantippe said:
Well, what exactly do people expect?

If we were picking out spouses for each other Moonie-style, would people be happy with that?

People often gripe about the people their parents or friends try to set them up with.
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???

Where did you get this idea that I’m advocating arranged Unification Church type of marriages from my post? I’m simply saying that as Catholics we need to adopt a mindset of supporting our fellow Catholics, including in dating/marriage, from the preaching in the pulpit to the advice we give people and, sad to say, who and what we choose to “shame” (and yes, I’ve seen “shaming” done here on CAF, whether it be criticism of people who simply are frustrated in their quest for marriage or the derisive use of the term “virgin-hunter” when in fact a person may simply be seeking a spouse with a similar sexual past).

Based on what I’ve seen, the National Catholic Singles Conference is the best model I’ve seen for trying to help single marriage-minded serious Catholics to meet each other.
 
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