When is it to much

[Robaynne]

Can’t someone anonymously call child protective services on them?

I also thought the same thing.

I have been wanting to ask this question? What kind of health facilities (Hospitals) do you have that end of the world. I mean a hospital that has a Psychiatric Unit the reason I ask this is because if there is a good facility with a good mental health programme then could it not be possible that your niece could be sent for evaluation by a psychiatrist. This would maybe open up your ex BIL eyes that there really is a problem. Here is South Africa there is something called the Child Protection Unit that investigates when there is abuse or suspected abuse. This organisation investigates the case and children are sent by order of the court to a special clinic for kids to be assessed if there is abuse involved. They have sessions alone with the kids and later they call both parents in and discuss solutions to those problems.

America is such an knowledgeable country do kids have no rights there. Here if there is a anonymous report about possible abuse of any kind a social worker comes and investigates to see what the problem is and also they contact the school to find out how are the kids progressing and then they decide the way forward.

I cannot believe that two police officers can be so corrupt and that the system is so upside down. Write a letter to Oprah, Dr Phil or the Media I am sure that there is somebody out there who will listen and help.

What would happen if your niece had a nervous breakdown would you need to get permission from that man to take the child to hospital and also to get permission to see a professional. Somebody needs to have a good talk to this man he will make this children grow up with such issues that it will affect their adult life. And what about Norma I can just image that she will one day end up with a nervous breakdown God forbid that, that ever happens.

What do they hope to gain but carry on like complete idiots. The only people they are hurting are those kids. And the day that they realise it, it will be to late the damage will be done and those kids will end up hating both of them. You cannot base your happiness on somebody else unhappiness, hurt and pain. Norma’s tears will not be for nothing. They cannot continue their evil ways forever it will catch up to them. Karma has a funny way of coming back to bit you. Those kids are not going to be kids forever they are going to grow up and let tell you this your ex BIL is going to regret every bit of hurt and pain he caused those kids. Both of them will.

 

[nana3]

mom2three and Robaynne, I see now that you are just as upset as we are of this whole mess. I have thought of calling for my sister to child protective services and have in the past, but the ex and his wife will think it was my sister for that is who they think did the first report. Even if my sister denies it, they will blame her. The problem is that a report gets made and the child people believe the two cops who are in their eyes model citizens. These two people can fool anyone, except God. The child protective services have talked to myself and my sister about making reports and that it could backfire my sister. The man told us that if my sister continues to make reports and they don’t find any abuse, the kids would be taken away from her. Do you believe that? But my sister is afraid of that and so she keeps quiet. Again, you have to remember, that this is his (the ex) against my sister who heard it from my niece. This has already happened to us so many times. The lawyers keep telling us that our word is not much in court.

The kids can’t be put on the stand for fear of ruining them emotionally by the cross examination. There is a program called the Guardian ad Litem that is for the kids, but this needs to be appointed by a judge and since the whole case was not heard this month but continued, we have to wait until November for that.

As far as seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist or a counselor, that is out of the question for now for the dad forbids it and his approval is needed. We have tried three different people and they will not see the kids without the dad’s approval. He doesn’t want them to be seeing one for the kids will tell them things like what happen to my niece at the theatre. The kids are being abused verbally and emotionally and since there is not counselor talking to them, it will be so hard to prove. All we are doing is keep a journal of everything they tell us. My sister is keeping a paper trail of all the emails she sends to her ex. We are so upset of all of this and run into many walls.

Now you all can see why we feel so helpless and frustrated. We feel that we can’t protect the kids. We count of God to watch them when they are with their dad. He doesn’t even pay half of the medical bills that is court order. He is in contempt, but for now getting away with it.

Yes, I too worry about Norma loosing it also. She needs lots of love and support and prayer.

 

[auppie]

Nana3,

It is unfortunate that your original thread is gone. Have you ever had to testify at court on behalf of your sister? Perhaps a journal of what you have seen/heard from your niece and/or nephew would be helpful in the courtroom too.

I also wondered if someone could anonymously contact the authorities and report the situation at the daycare.

I’m a bit confused about the dad being able to just stop the children’s thearpy. I understand that they (your sister & the ex) must dicusss the issue, but why is he getting final say? Also if the situation is worsening as you say it is, can your sister’s lawyer request an emergency hearing rather than waiting until November?

When I started to read that your niece and her father started to have the heart-to-heart, I was a bit hopeful, until you wrote that your niece stopped talking. This is so much for her to handle! Poor thing! I’m glad you encouraged her to write the journal; that is a good thing for her to do, not only for herself, but possibly for the situation. If a judge could see what she sees through 9 yr old eyes, that might wake up the judge.

Just a thought…that was a wonderful thing to do when you wrote that letter to your niece. How about sending random cards, bring her a flower or two (nephew included, but maybe a Hot-Wheels car instead of flowers ). Little things like this just might make their lives a little brighter, and they can know a world does exist without all the emotional turmoil.

Good luck! You are all in my prayers.

God Bless.

 

[dulcissima]

Hi Nana3. I’ll admit, I’ve sort of been avoiding reading this thread because it is a little bit too reminiscent of what I am going through with my divorce now that my husband is off supervised visitation and is having the kids every other weekend. I will keep your sister and her children in my prayers.

 

[dulcissima]

Listen, just thought I’d throw out one more piece of unsolicited advice. At first with all of this, I would get really stressed out about everything that my husband did, especially with regard to the kids. I’ve kind of learned that even if I was looking out for their best interest, it is best for me not to appear worked up over anything that goes wrong at their dad’s. I have become really careful not to criticize him around them either. My goal really is for them to have the best possible relationship with their father, despite his problems. If there is going to be a strain it is going to come from him, because I am not going to add to it and I am not going to put the kids between us. Right now this has worked well with three of my four kids who are now handling this well. I do have one son that is having big time issues, but honestly he had them before because he was the scapegoat for his father’s anger. Now I am told that all my husband does is complain about me to that son, and it is really taking a toll. He also is preventing him from going to counseling. Slowly, I am making some progress by remaining firm in my commitment to not discuss adult manners around the kids and to not stoop to the same level as my husband. So far it is getting slowly better, and he is only a problem on the days that he gets back from his dad’s.

I just really think it is in the kids’ best interest to stay cool and don’t let the dad or his new wife ruffle your feathers. They will get burnt out on this power struggle eventually because they are going to have enough problems of their own.

 

[nana3]

auppie,
I did not get the chance to testify yet. The court date that we had this month had to be continued and the only one who went to the stand was the ex.

I am keeping a journal of everything my niece and nephew tell me and my sister has one also of all that they tell her and their behaviors, especially after visiting their dad.

I tried to report the daycare anonymously, but when I call the number the person who I need to speak with is never in her office and you have to leave your name and phone number. I would not be annonymous if I did that. I have tried many times. This must be a very busy woman. My mom also has asked me not to report them for fear of what the ex and wife will do to my niece for they will know she told us something. My niece is scared also and doesn’t want anything done.

The dad gets final say on the therapy because my sister and him have a joint custody. They are to discuss all medical options and they did and he agreed to therapy and was in even two sessions, but when he saw the therapist in court ready to testify, he changed his mind and said no to anymore therapy. He really doesn’t have final say, for my sister has primary custody, but all counselors want the dad’s approval before seeing the kids for fear of being sued if they see the children without his approval.

My sister is waiting to see if the diocese will allow the school principal to write a letter stating the kids need therapy before asking for an emergency hearing before the judge. I don’t know how long my sister’s attorney will wait for my sister wants the emergency hearing now to get the judge to order therapy for the kids. I have to ask my sister today where that stands. I know she has to hear from her attorney today for she got a large envelope yesterday in the mail from her ex’s attorney. They want an affidavet of her income and her assets. I am not sure why they want that except to see if she will be able to afford to pay for her ex’s attorney’s fee if she loses when this is all over. They can do this. My sister doesn’t have any assets except the car my husband and I gave her. The house she lives in is my parents and they allow her to stay rent free. She is going to school on grants and earns very little doing part time work. She lives mostly from the ex’s child support. The kids are going on a grant also to the Catholic school. I think the ex thinks she is rich, but he will see she is actually poor. My parents and I are paying her attorneys fee for now for she was using her house money from the sell of her house after the divorce, but that is all gone.

Thanks for your prayers and advice. My sister is looking into what is called a “custody coach” and we have a very good one here in town. We hope she can help my sister win full and sole custody which everyone tells us is almost impossible. My sister’s attorney me of a case she has now where the dad beat his little 2 year old with a broom stick until he broke it hitting her over and over again. He went to jail, but when he got out, child protective services gave the child back to him for he promised to go to anger management. This is because the justice system say it is important for the child to have both parents in their life. I could not believe that a judge would give the dad his child back after he put her in the hospital from the beating. We live in a messed up world and the children do not have a voice. I hear of horror stories like this a lot on a website of custody battles and it goes on all over our country.

 

[nana3]

Hi Nana3. I’ll admit, I’ve sort of been avoiding reading this thread because it is a little bit too reminiscent of what I am going through with my divorce now that my husband is off supervised visitation and is having the kids every other weekend. I will keep your sister and her children in my prayers.

You will be in my prayers also as well as your children. How long did the supervised visitation last? I would hate any person to go through all this like you and my sister. It is a bad situation as well as very stressful. It wears down the person.

 

[nana3]

Listen, just thought I’d throw out one more piece of unsolicited advice. At first with all of this, I would get really stressed out about everything that my husband did, especially with regard to the kids. I’ve kind of learned that even if I was looking out for their best interest, it is best for me not to appear worked up over anything that goes wrong at their dad’s. I have become really careful not to criticize him around them either. My goal really is for them to have the best possible relationship with their father, despite his problems. If there is going to be a strain it is going to come from him, because I am not going to add to it and I am not going to put the kids between us. Right now this has worked well with three of my four kids who are now handling this well. I do have one son that is having big time issues, but honestly he had them before because he was the scapegoat for his father’s anger. Now I am told that all my husband does is complain about me to that son, and it is really taking a toll. He also is preventing him from going to counseling. Slowly, I am making some progress by remaining firm in my commitment to not discuss adult manners around the kids and to not stoop to the same level as my husband. So far it is getting slowly better, and he is only a problem on the days that he gets back from his dad’s.

I just really think it is in the kids’ best interest to stay cool and don’t let the dad or his new wife ruffle your feathers. They will get burnt out on this power struggle eventually because they are going to have enough problems of their own.

I agree totally! We too made the mistake of talking in front of the kids when my sister first got a divorce. Now, even when the kids tell us what their dad did, we tell them that they have to accept their dad as he is and pray for him and his wife. I tell them, as well as my sister, that we can’t change them and we have no control of what goes on at dad’s. My sister is having to deal with both kids coming back to excessive anger problems. When they fight, which is a lot when at moms, they are now hitting one another hard. I know my daughter now doesn’t like to play to much with my nephew. My niece is not too bad with the hitting, she is more a master of manipulation, a learn behavior from her dad. Sometimes I listen to her and she reminds me of her dad when she talks. I try to teach her the way Jesus would like her to behave and talk. She just is a very confused and frustrated child right now. This is just to much for her. She has already cried twice of wanting to speak to her therapist. I told her that she has to speak to Jesus in prayer and write in her Dear Jesus journal for now, for her therapist won’t see her. Like I said before she did ask her dad if she could go back to see her therapist and he lied and told her it was up to his mother. Of course, my niece already new the truth for my sister asked her therapist if she should tell her the truth and the therapist said yes.

 

[dulcissima]

You will be in my prayers also as well as your children. How long did the supervised visitation last? I would hate any person to go through all this like you and my sister. It is a bad situation as well as very stressful. It wears down the person.

The supervised visitation lasted 2 months, which was probably the longest 2 months of my life. I am glad that during that time my husband was able to give up drinking. Unfortunately he still has a lot of destructive behaviors. Still, I think it is important for him to be a part of the kid’s lives as much as possible. I am just trying to work on their coping skills and learning strategies for dealing with some of what they will encounter during their time with him.

 

[mom2three]

auppie,
I did not get the chance to testify yet. The court date that we had this month had to be continued and the only one who went to the stand was the ex.

I am keeping a journal of everything my niece and nephew tell me and my sister has one also of all that they tell her and their behaviors, especially after visiting their dad.

I tried to report the daycare anonymously, but when I call the number the person who I need to speak with is never in her office and you have to leave your name and phone number. I would not be annonymous if I did that. I have tried many times. This must be a very busy woman. My mom also has asked me not to report them for fear of what the ex and wife will do to my niece for they will know she told us something. My niece is scared also and doesn’t want anything done.

The dad gets final say on the therapy because my sister and him have a joint custody. They are to discuss all medical options and they did and he agreed to therapy and was in even two sessions, but when he saw the therapist in court ready to testify, he changed his mind and said no to anymore therapy. He really doesn’t have final say, for my sister has primary custody, but all counselors want the dad’s approval before seeing the kids for fear of being sued if they see the children without his approval.

My sister is waiting to see if the diocese will allow the school principal to write a letter stating the kids need therapy before asking for an emergency hearing before the judge. I don’t know how long my sister’s attorney will wait for my sister wants the emergency hearing now to get the judge to order therapy for the kids. I have to ask my sister today where that stands. I know she has to hear from her attorney today for she got a large envelope yesterday in the mail from her ex’s attorney. They want an affidavet of her income and her assets. I am not sure why they want that except to see if she will be able to afford to pay for her ex’s attorney’s fee if she loses when this is all over. They can do this. My sister doesn’t have any assets except the car my husband and I gave her. The house she lives in is my parents and they allow her to stay rent free. She is going to school on grants and earns very little doing part time work. She lives mostly from the ex’s child support. The kids are going on a grant also to the Catholic school. I think the ex thinks she is rich, but he will see she is actually poor. My parents and I are paying her attorneys fee for now for she was using her house money from the sell of her house after the divorce, but that is all gone.

Thanks for your prayers and advice. My sister is looking into what is called a “custody coach” and we have a very good one here in town. We hope she can help my sister win full and sole custody which everyone tells us is almost impossible. My sister’s attorney me of a case she has now where the dad beat his little 2 year old with a broom stick until he broke it hitting her over and over again. He went to jail, but when he got out, child protective services gave the child back to him for he promised to go to anger management. This is because the justice system say it is important for the child to have both parents in their life. I could not believe that a judge would give the dad his child back after he put her in the hospital from the beating. We live in a messed up world and the children do not have a voice. I hear of horror stories like this a lot on a website of custody battles and it goes on all over our country.

This is the very reason why we have people fleeing with their children just to keep them safe… but then they are persecuted by the law… It’s just terrible.

 

[dulcissima]

auppie,
The dad gets final say on the therapy because my sister and him have a joint custody. They are to discuss all medical options and they did and he agreed to therapy and was in even two sessions, but when he saw the therapist in court ready to testify, he changed his mind and said no to anymore therapy. He really doesn’t have final say, for my sister has primary custody, but all counselors want the dad’s approval before seeing the kids for fear of being sued if they see the children without his approval.

This has been my experience as well, even though I am not looking to have the therapist testify against my husband. I just want my son to get some perspective and some healing. Unfortunately, I am going to have to take my husband back to court over this issue. We are also going to press for him to be the one to pay the court costs over this. The counseling is court ordered and he is interfering with it, so he can go before the judge and explain why he doesn’t want his son to have counseling.

Funny thing is when we were in high school, you know how some people get voted “best hair” or “best personality”, my husband got voted “most likely to commit contempt of court.” Why I ignored all the signs then, I will never know…

 

[auppie]

auppie,
I did not get the chance to testify yet. The court date that we had this month had to be continued and the only one who went to the stand was the ex.

Actually, this might be a good thing for a couple of reasons. First when you and your sister get your chance, that will be fresh in the Judge’s mind; the ex may not remember exactly what he said.

I am keeping a journal of everything my niece and nephew tell me and my sister has one also of all that they tell her and their behaviors, especially after visiting their dad.

This is so good

I tried to report the daycare anonymously, but when I call the number the person who I need to speak with is never in her office and you have to leave your name and phone number. I would not be annonymous if I did that. I have tried many times. This must be a very busy woman. My mom also has asked me not to report them for fear of what the ex and wife will do to my niece for they will know she told us something. My niece is scared also and doesn’t want anything done.

Very powerful words from your niece. I’m so sorry she is so frightened.

The dad gets final say on the therapy because my sister and him have a joint custody. They are to discuss all medical options and they did and he agreed to therapy and was in even two sessions, but when he saw the therapist in court ready to testify, he changed his mind and said no to anymore therapy. He really doesn’t have final say, for my sister has primary custody, but all counselors want the dad’s approval before seeing the kids for fear of being sued if they see the children without his approval.

This is so sad…the counselors wanting dad’s approval, or fear litigation without his approval…the only ones being hurt here are the kids! I wonder what the ethics board would say about this.

My sister is waiting to see if the diocese will allow the school principal to write a letter stating the kids need therapy before asking for an emergency hearing before the judge. I don’t know how long my sister’s attorney will wait for my sister wants the emergency hearing now to get the judge to order therapy for the kids. I have to ask my sister today where that stands. I know she has to hear from her attorney today for she got a large envelope yesterday in the mail from her ex’s attorney. They want an affidavet of her income and her assets. I am not sure why they want that except to see if she will be able to afford to pay for her ex’s attorney’s fee if she loses when this is all over. They can do this. My sister doesn’t have any assets except the car my husband and I gave her.

This doesn’t sound right to me…your sister should not be having direct contact with her ex’s attorney…that attorney should go through your sister’s attorney… I hope at least your sister’s attorney knows about this package.

The house she lives in is my parents and they allow her to stay rent free. She is going to school on grants and earns very little doing part time work. She lives mostly from the ex’s child support. The kids are going on a grant also to the Catholic school. I think the ex thinks she is rich, but he will see she is actually poor. My parents and I are paying her attorneys fee for now for she was using her house money from the sell of her house after the divorce, but that is all gone.

This will be an eye opener for him, and he won’t be able to control the situation.

Thanks for your prayers and advice. My sister is looking into what is called a “custody coach” and we have a very good one here in town. We hope she can help my sister win full and sole custody which everyone tells us is almost impossible. My sister’s attorney me of a case she has now where the dad beat his little 2 year old with a broom stick until he broke it hitting her over and over again. He went to jail, but when he got out, child protective services gave the child back to him for he promised to go to anger management. This is because the justice system say it is important for the child to have both parents in their life. I could not believe that a judge would give the dad his child back after he put her in the hospital from the beating. We live in a messed up world and the children do not have a voice. I hear of horror stories like this a lot on a website of custody battles and it goes on all over our country.

I know…it just doesn’t make sense.

Take care of you, too. I know you’re trying to help your family, which is a nobel thing, but take care of you.

 

[nana3]

Your right auppie about the package my sister received, for it was from her attorney with the ex’s attorney stuff in there, but her attorney knew of it all.

We now have another incident today. My sister’s ex called her to see if he could have the kids again this weekend for the next weekend which is his, he will be out of town. She agreed, but she just got a call from her attorney today stating that she should not agree or give the kids to him without him signing a letter stating that his gives up his weekend and has agreed to that. She wants my sister to do this for in the past he has lied and taken the kids when it was not his turn and keeping them. She has lied one to many times. He even lies to his daughter. My niece did not want to go again this weekend, but she liked the idea of her mom having two weekends in a roll, so she asked her dad if he would take her home on Sunday night and he said yes. When my sister had to call him yesterday, for my niece was again in hysteria about going to her dads, he was upset and said that they agreed to switch the weekends and then my sister asked if he was bringing her back Sunday night and he said no. She asked why did he tell their daughter yes and he said to please her. She said that is a lie and that he is lying to her, but this is something my niece is use to by now. So as it stands now and it is 11:30 am, my sister’s attorney has called and faxed a letter to the ex’s attorney stating that if they do not get a signed letter by the ex he will not pick up the kids today. But now, and this may be God’s intervention, my sister just called me to say the school called her and her daughter has been stung by a bee or wasp. THey called her for my niece told them she has allergic reactions to bee stings. The last time, at age two, while my sister and niece visited me in Illinois, my niece was stung by a yellow jacket hornet, and had a severe reaction. She could hardly breathe and by the time to got her to the ER, they said her esophagus was so swollen that a little longer and she would not be able to breathe at all. So my sister is going to see my niece in the school office to see if she needs to bring her to the ER or her pediatrician if not so severe. My poor niece has been through a lot. In some ways I hope my ex BIL doesn’t write the letter and my sister gets her kids for three weekends. The kids seem to always do better away from the dad. I know it is important to have the dad in their life, but not when they are abusive to them. He wants them this weekend to go out to the ocean. My niece is so scared of going. She did not want to go to school today to avoid going with her dad after school. I know he would take her in pain from the bee sting, for he is very selfish. He has told me personally that the kids feelings don’t matter for they are kids.

 

[legeorge]

First of all, prayers for you and your family.

Now, my husband inspects in-home daycare facilities for our county, so I know a bit about it. He has had lots of situations where someone has reported a problem to him. When he goes to investigate, he is not allowed to let anyone know who called him if they ask to remain anonymous. So you could call and leave your name/pnone # and not worry about being outed by the worker. At least, that’s the way it is here, and I would imagine that similar regulations are in place there. Make sure that the worker knows exactly when the alleged problem is taking place so that they can plan on making an unannounced visit at that specific time. Hopefully you will get a good worker and they will follow up on your complaint.
Also, I wonder if it would be possible for your sister to at least get out of state (since out of the country would be a little difficult). Any excuse she could come up with for moving would be good: a school that is better for her major, a job offer, anything. Getting some distance would at least make these frequent visits with the father a little more difficult, and he would be the one responsible for getting them to and from the visits (such as picking them up and getting them back home, or paying for plane tickets). You might have to put up with him getting the kids occassionally, but no one says you have to make it easy for him.
As for phone calls, would it be possible for you to somehow hide one of those pre-paid cell phones in your neice’s bags when she goes to her father’s? If she is careful, she may be able to get a quick call in to her mother when she is alone. Or, perhaps just having it, and knowing that she has the phone available, at least, would give her some sense of security or a life-line if need be.
I thank God that I have never had to be in such a situation, but I hope that everything works out for you all. I pray that your sister is able to get the kids into some sort of counseling. That could be very important. It doesn’t sound as if the father is very reasonable, so you must put up with the interminably slow courts to settle everything. This is very discouraging. Hopefully, everyone’s prayers will cause God to help open his mind and soften his heart enough to at least be reasonable and able to talk about serious issues like a responsible adult. (Although it sounds as if his new wife has a way of pulling him down with her.)
God bless you, and I hope someone else can give you some better advice than me.

 

[nana3]

Thanks for your advice legeorge. I will try it, but I am still a little afraid to report and remain annonymous for the ex will assume it was my sister no matter who reports it and know that the kids must have told her something. I did hear that he went from 10 children to 8 and now they are down to 5, so maybe a parent will notice something and report them.

My niece is doing fine from the bee sting. Thank God there was a paramedic in the school office, a parent, and she checked on my niece and told her mother to go get Benedryl and if after 10 minutes she is not better to take her to the ER.

As far as the kids going with the dad this weekend, they do not have to. This is as a result of all our prayers. Thank you to all of you. God intervened through my sister’s attorney. As I said above, all the ex needs to do is write a letter about the weekends being switched. Apparently, he did and called my sister and told her he did write the letter and faxed it to his attorneys office, unless he lied which would not surprise us, but my sister’s attorney did not get the letter faxed to her. So no go until it is in her attorney’s office. She called her ex and told him that his attorney has not faxed it and he said that there is no one in the office to fax it and she knew that. She asked how would she know that. So he got mad and said “never mind.” She is at the school right now ready to pick up her kids.

It is terrible that two people who had been married for 15 years have to go through attorney’s for things like a switch of a weekend, but with his past and the contempts he has on her, she has no choice but to protect herself and kids. Her attorney said that she can’t give him everything he wants and then he goes and treats her so badly and lies about her. Like I said in the original thread, he took the kids the weekend before Spring Break and then calls her on Sunday night and tells her, not discusses, that he will be keeping the kids the entire break and she gets them when they go to school. This was a nightmare. Even his attorney at the time, who had some morals unlike his present ones, told him to knock it off and he just should not do that. He didn’t care.

My sister did tell him on the phone today that all this could be avoided if he would allow the kids to go to counseling and he needs to go as well. He said no to that. He is very unreasonable. Now he can go on the boat alone with his new wife and the 9 year old girl, for the wife’s teens don’t like to be around mom so they stay home, and enjoy the ocean.

 

[nana3]

Please pray for my sister will go for a deposition on Tuesday the 19th. She is discouraged for she talked with the custody coach and she told her many women go through this nationwide and with little or no success in protecting their children. WE have Jesus on our side though!!

 

[jules11]

Nana3,
I think of you and your sister often… I pray for you all when I go to Adoration. I hope things get better for her and her children. This is so heartbreaking.
God Bless you

 

[auppie]

Please pray for my sister will go for a deposition on Tuesday the 19th. She is discouraged for she talked with the custody coach and she told her many women go through this nationwide and with little or no success in protecting their children. WE have Jesus on our side though!!

How about an update…how did the deposition go?

 

[Robaynne]

How about an update…how did the deposition go?

Nana how did things go yesterday. I hope and pray you have good news.

 

[nana3]

Sorry, I thought I posted an update, but forgot. I wasn’t getting my thread responses via email, but found today a whole lot of them. Anyway, the deposition was cancelled at the last moment. My sister was so relieved. Her attorney told her that a deposition is usually cancelled because the client has not paid their attorney and the attorney doesn’t want to keep adding to the bill that has not been paid. So basically it looks like the ex is out of money. His attorney has made some comments already about regretting taking this case for the ex is very angry and demanding. I know he lost his first attorney for those reasons and for not paying his bill.

There was a breakthrough for my niece at least. On Monday after schools, my niece stays a little longer for alter server training. She did not know her dad called her mom that day to see if he could pick up the kids after school. She told him that he could pick up their son, but that their daughter did not get out until 4:30pm. He did just that, but my nieced calls her mom at about 30 minutes to 3pm to let her know that the training was cancelled. Norma told her that her dad wants to pick her up, but she said she did not want to go and started to cry and said she was going to jump into my van right away after the bells rings. She did just that. She was in fear. She got in and sat on the floor. I asked what was going on and she told me. I told her that no one can see through my tinted windows and she sat on the seat. I waited for my daughter and left the school.

Well, that night when the ex brought home my nephew, he asked if he could see my niece. My niece went outside to him and they were out there for about 10 minutes when my niece came into the house and asked Norma if her dad could come in to see her computer that was broken. What was Norma to say? She said, yes and he came in and they were in the room for about 20 minutes. He wanted to take the hard drive to his brother who specializes in computers and my sister said it was fine. My niece walked her dad outside and even said her dad had a tear in his eye, but he is very allergic to dogs and my sister has two. My niece came into the house very happy and excited. She ran to her mother and said, “Mommy, I love the daddy that was here today. He was so nice and spent time with me. I just don’t like it when he is with her, (referring to the wife,) for he is different.” She also told my sister that while they were outside when he was really to leave, my niece asked why he came alone and was not with his wife. His answer to her was that he needed a break from her.

Norma did take the advice of her attorney and tried to talk to her ex while he could not afford attorney’s fee and see if he would agree to the kids going to counseling and he himself go, but no such luck. He didn’t agree and when my sister mentioned that the kids liked it that they got along, he said he had to go and never called backed. She tried!

Another bit of interesting news that shows us all that the person who is really behind going to court for every little thing, is the new wife… My niece told my sister that she wondered if her dad was going to get yelled out for entering their house. My sister wanted to know more and asked what did she meant. She asked her mom if she remembers one time when her dad came to pick them up at the house that he only entered at the door entrance and did not go in all the way and my sister said she remembers. Well, the step mom was in the car. My niece over heard, when they got to their dad’s, the step mom yelling and screaming at her dad for going into the house. She heard her dad saying that he was picking up his children. The step mom responsed, “Do you want to win this case or not!”

Oh, well those are the things that are new. We still have no counseling for the children. The little boy has mixed feelings of his dad and my niece likes the dad that gives her attention. I did forget to mention that the day that my niece was happy at her dad’s attention, my nephew was very upset that night. He told my sister that he did not have a good time at his dad for all he did was play with the other kid and did not play or spend time with his dad. They both want that so much. I pray the ex gets that message soon that his children want him and not his new family for right now.