Where are all the large Catholic families?

[Cat]

Can we get some reasons in here that, oh, aren’t hurting, assuming and pious?

Ever think that maybe, MAYBE, some of those smallers families are small for a reason? Maybe the family lives paycheck to paycheck, and despite amazingly careful budgeting, can barely afford their grocery bills every month?

What about a family who DOES love children, but realize after 2 or 3 that they really, truly, prayerfully and honestly can not emotionally handle anymore? Some men and women can managae of a family of 9, but not everyone has the same psychogoligcal steadiness, patience or emotional resources to handle more, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think it takes a lot of bravery for a child loving family to be able to ADMIT that maybe they’re at their limit, at least for a time.

This is the situation my wife and I are in. she has 6 brothers and sisters, I have FIFTEEN. We love kids. Once we had our own place (we had to live with my parents at first, due to, let’s hear it, changed circumstances) and started making more than $80 a week, we stopped using NFP. Several years later we have three beautiful children, but we know we can’t do anymore, at least for some time. NO, we DON’T go on European vacations, hire a home decorator or buy the fanciest cars and electronics. We live by a budget, one that barely covers, and my wife is the one who tends the children most of the day, and she’s completely at her end. I look at her bursting into hysterical tears because she’s so exhausted and stressed and having an anxiety attack, and I couldn’t possibly imagine adding another newborn right now (and before anyone gets smart, yes, I DO help, as do my inlaws, but there’s only so much you can do)

Many people DO have just reasons for using NFP, and it doesn’t have to involve being on your deathbed. Peoples circumstances change constantly, and it isn’t your place to look at a small family and assume.

Now, granted, that doesn’t give small families a right to look at your loving lot and judge either. But the amont of children someone has doesn’t make them any more or less Catholic than any other.

This is an excellent post.

It goes along with my post, above, about cultural reasons. Many people have been raised in small families and know very little to nothing about babies and young children.

I had never held a baby in my arms until I had my first baby. I knew NOTHING about babies other than what I read in books. (I raised my babies according to Dr. James Dobson’s books and videos, and I’m very pleased with the result.)

I know LOTS of couples who are, frankly, doing an abysmal job of raising their children. One of those couples just put their 9-year old into a psych unit after the child threated to kill themselves and/or their sibling. My husband and I both believe that the child is physically and mentally normal (not psychotic or neurotic), but the parents have made mistake after mistake in their childrearing, mainly because they disagree with each other on discipline techniques, and they criticize each other in front of their children. The mom’s approach to child-rearing is to put the children into childcare, school, or with relatives as much as possible and fly away for a “vacation,” often lasting several weeks. The dad’s approach is to work full time and go to school full time, and sleep about four hours a night to make time for all of this. The children have learned to manipulate the parents to get what they want, and the entire household is in total chaos because the parents have no clue what they are doing, how to discipline children, etc.

This couple is well-educated and has a six-figure income, so we’re not talking about people who have deficiencies here.

My daughter thinks that this couple had an unrealistic, “Hollywood”-type picture of what having children would be. They expected the children to sit in front of a fireplace playing checkers, and to go to bed at 6:00 p.m. and sleep until 10:00 a.m., and always be “taking a nap” when mom and dad want to have a conversation or have friends over (ever watch soaps, and noticed how the children are always “taking a nap?”).

There are a LOT of couples like this, who really should have done a lot more studying before having children. I’ve heard people say that perhaps getting pregnant should require a license!

Not all couples are in as serious trouble as the couple I described above, but there are a lot of couples who just aren’t able to handle more than a few children. IMO, that’s a “serious reason” to avoid having more and making an even bigger mess out of things.

 

[Cat]

I only have one sister but my girlfriend is from a family of five, and most of the Catholic families I know have an average of 4-8 kids. A girl down the street is from a family of 9. Both my parents are from families of 7. I don’t think there’s a lack of big families… At least where I’m from…

I think this is a very good post, too, and worth remembering whenever we see a family that appears “small.”

In our parish, there are quite a few families who have four or more children. But often, we see Mom or Dad with only a few of those children. The others children are at home with their other parent, or perhaps with Grandma and Grandpa, so that Mom or Dad can have a few hours out without having to take care of all the children together, and so that a few of the children can have a few hours with Mom or Dad all by themselves, without all their siblings.

And sometimes, a couple has children of varying ages, so several children might be much older than their younger siblings, and they’re in school or working or even grown-up and out on their own, so we don’t see them often with Mom and Dad and all their younger siblings.

My mom had 10 brothers and sisters (non-Catholic family). The oldest was almost 20 years older than his youngest brother. So obviously, the whole brood didn’t hang out together much!

Sometimes couples have a few children, wait many years, and then have a few more children. This happened in my husband’s family. For ten years, he was an only child. Then his parents decided to have a few more children.

And then, there is a good possibility that couples could have conceived many times, but miscarriages occurred and their many children are in heaven.

Again, we really shouldn’t judge others. We don’t know what their situation is.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Some excellent posts here. We don’t do a very good job in general with preparing couples for marriage and parenthood. Just like everything else, the secular culture around you will influence decisions. When reports everywhere speak of the high cost of education, lack of jobs, high cost of raising children, etc. It can scare many couples into believing they can’t afford more than 1 or 2 children. With the economy as it is, many actually can’t, but others probably could if they had more support (emotional rather financial).

We inside the church should not assume or condemn those with smaller families. But we should put much more effort into teaching our own children to be properly disposed for marriage and family life, including being open to children.

 

[Usige]

We don’t know how to do it. … I think that in the past, B.C. (before contraception) became “acceptable,” most families trained their children how to bring up children. Older children were expected to help out with childcare.

I would agree there. We have a 16 year old that we expect to help out with her younger brother and sister. When I was growing up that was normal, but today we have been accused several times of “abusing” her because we are “forcing her” to act like an adult and “taking away her childhood.” Nope, we are giving her the tools to be independent and how to take care of others. Even with her learning disabilities she is more able to take care of herself than one of her 23 year old cousins.

The busy-ness–that’s something that so many families, including mine, just accept as normal life. But I can’t imagine large families being on the run every afternoon, evening, and weekend.

For us we made the decision not to do it. We have never subscribed to the over scheduled, overstressed lifestyle. Our kids play with blocks, read, etc. but are generally at home. If they want to play a game of baseball we get other families together and go play at the park. I have never understood families that say they are exhausted because they **have **to go to piano, and then karate, come home make dinner, build a boat, write the theory of everything, take a bath and go to bed. It seems people don’t know how to just let kids be kids (i.e. most kids will entertain themselves if you just give them half a chance).

Speaking of “on the run,” I can’t imagine how large families do the cars, considering that all the children under eight, or of small stature, have to be in car seats and booster seats!

Suburban with bench seats or 15 passenger van. When we get too many in our Suburban we just take two cars (we need 4 wheel drive around our house so the bigger van is out).

The biggest issue, IMO, is budgeting. Without the second income, I’m not sure how a large family makes it unless the working parent makes a large income. … I know, it can be done, but most of us don’t know how.

While we are not poor I know what you mean. It wasn’t until we sat down and calculated the cost of day care that we realized between taxes and daycare it would have eaten more than my wife made so it was cheaper for her to stay home and raise the kids. Most people don’t know how to budget or even compare prices. We got rid of a ton of convenience foods and actually cook and bake instead. We grow a good portion of our produce in the garden and once you get into the 6, 8, 10 person household buying in bulk actually pays off.

I think there is also a misconception about the cost of raising kids. Each kid cost less the more you have. Why? Because there are certain things that spread out across all of them. Some of the highest monthly cost are say your mortgage or rent. The six of us (soon to be 7) live in the same house as friends across the street with 1 child. Our mortgages are about the same so our per person cost will go down to less than half our friends when the next one is born, but the fixed monthly cost doesn’t go up. Since we use cloth diapers and generally breast feed until around 1 year there is really little extra cost each time we have a baby, after that we have clothes from older siblings and do exchanges with other families if we need a size for a given season (it’s when the teenagers start eating you out of house and home that they get expensive )

In the end some of it’s mindset. When we got married I didn’t really want any kids and we stopped after the first two. It took us (i.e. me) 10 years to open our hearts and listen to what God wanted instead of what society told us. Since then God has blessed us time and again.

 

[Usige]

We don’t do a very good job in general with preparing couples for marriage and parenthood. Just like everything else, the secular culture around you will influence decisions.

We inside the church should not assume or condemn those with smaller families. But we should put much more effort into teaching our own children to be properly disposed for marriage and family life, including being open to children.

Mrs. Sally, what you say is very true. I hope no one takes any of my previous posts as condemning small families.

Since we teach NFP and do marriage prep we find that many couples have never heard they truth about what is involved in having even a marginally large family. We use our time to help correct any problems with prior catechisis and share resources to help them truly prepare for marriage. I don’t think every couple is called to have a large family, but we try to show people how having a large family can work. We have loaned couples books and spent time with them outside our “official capacity” to help answer their questions.

I think the biggest barrier we have faced is not people who have prayerfully considered their family size, but rather those that have hardened their hearts and put their plans before God’s and refuse to be open to his calling.

 

[Florida123]

I go to an FSSP church and there are large families there average is 5 plus

 

[CountrySinger]

I’m glad you are open to having many children. Now that we are older, my husband and I wish that we could have had more children.

I’m a 54 year old mother of two grown daughters. I just want to caution you and other young women who have not married yet.

Sometimes women want to have many babies, but then reality hits when they get pregnant and give birth.

Many women discover that pregnancy, for them, is a misery. They are sick throughout the pregnancy, or they acquire gestational diabetes, which is a little scary. Or they develop a physical condition that requires absolute bedrest for several months, which of course means quitting a job, and that means a significant loss of income. Or they swell, or they have heartburn, or they hurt all the time. Pregnancy is generally a healthy condition for women, but it is not always pleasant, and for some women, it is just plain awful.

Some women gain a tremendous amount of weight and never seem to be able to lose it, in spite of their best efforts. After a few babies, they are dangerously obese. (This was my situation, BTW, and only in the last few years have I been able to lose around 85 pounds to date. I still have about 30 pounds to go to get to a “normal” weight.)

Some women have C-sections, and even though there are women who defy the traditional medical approach that >4 Cs is dangerous, many women discover that two C-sections is about all their abdominal muscles will tolerate. People on this thread are making comments that God can defy the Pill and give a couple a baby anyway, and I agree. But I also agree with others who say that we can’t eat 5 cheeseburgers a day and expect God to help us lose weight. In the same way, when a woman defies medical advice and gets pregnant after having several Cs, she is definitely challenging nature and the human body. Should she really expect God to take care of her and the baby?

I’m just mentioning a few things here. There are many other physical conditions that make pregnancy and birth not as easy as some young women think it should be.

Another tragic occurrence is when women suffer from repeated miscarriages. This is so heartbreaking for a couple, and it really makes it difficult for them to keep trying month after month to get pregnant, only to see their little ones die.

And then there are the issues AFTER giving birth. Many women have babies who eventually sleep through the night and grow up sweet and happy. But many other women have babies who cry continuously ,spit up, suffer from repeated ailments like congestion, ear infections, reflux, diarrhea, etc. And some women have babies who have serious medical issues from birth, or birth defects, or challenging conditions like Downs.

I’m not saying all this to scare young women away from getting pregnant. It’s amazing how women can call upon reserves of strength and God’s graces to help them through any situation, especially when it comes to motherhood and childrearing.

But to call upon those reserves many many times, up to 12 children–that’s tough. There are women who have done it, and perhaps you are one of those strong women with a deep faith in God’s sustaining power.

But please understand that many women do not have that kind of strength, or that much faith in God. Many women (and their husbands) choose NOT to have more children for the reasons that I listed above, or for other equally serious reasons.

I hope that everyone on this thread will not condemn these women or label them “poor Catholics” or “post Vatican II modernists” or any other derogatory labels. Conceiving, giving birth to, and raising children is probably the most serious task that human beings do here on this earth, other than receiving Jesus in Holy Mass.

We need to respect the way other couples choose to approach the very serious business of having children, and do whatever we can to offer support to ALL families, large and small. Until we have lived in someone else’s body, we really shouldn’t judge women who make a different decision than we make.

This is beautiful. I was crying when I read this. Today I received an email from one of my “Catholic” friends which ripped into me for not getting pregnant quick enough after getting married. She said I was going to take my husband to Hell, and I should be open to life. And that my marriage was invalid, and I was selfish.

Little did she know I had a miscarriage recently. I’m still recovering. Don’t judge without any evidence. I never talked to her about family or my sex life. There’s correcting, and then there is just cruel…

 

[Rence]

I would agree there. We have a 16 year old that we expect to help out with her younger brother and sister. When I was growing up that was normal, but today we have been accused several times of “abusing” her because we are “forcing her” to act like an adult and “taking away her childhood.”

About ten years ago, a 19 year old girl that I had hired as a medical assistant told us (the staff) that her mother was pregnant, and that she told her mom she had better go have an abortion because she had to live her life, that it was her turn now, and don’t be thinking that she is going to be helping her raise this kid because she’s not. I’m sure this is not the only reason, but the mom had an abortion. I was never so disgusted in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that conversation in the company of co-workers and that was about 10 years ago now. That girl needed to be shown the door by her mom and told that she either bucked up and got in line with the family or she could leave - permanently. And that’s not even addressing the way she spoke to her mother.

But that didn’t happen. Which disgusted me even more. The whole thing just was disgusting. Talking to her mom like that…and her dad…and making her parents feel that it was their only option. I don’t get it. There were many family members: I think three kids…cousins, aunts, this was an Assyrian family that did not lack resources in family members.

I was 18 and my brother 17 when my mom and dad announced their “oops” and we were sooooooo happy. And that was when time were bad, when our home was a battlefield and all I wanted was for my mom to throw out my abusive father. But she got tangled in a religious organization who claimed that ‘your husband is your salvation’ and somehow managed to convince her that she had to stay with him and tolerate the abuse. Anyway, a few weeks later, she had a miscarriage, and everyone was devestated. I do remember her getting rude comments at work though about “another one???” (it was just my brother and me) and “at your age???” (she was only 39), and the best one, “whose is it?” LOL, which mom found more amusing than the rest (it was the source, you had to be there I guess). Point is, families with values (even ones in abusive conditions) will pull together when they’re needed. The spoiled brat at work didn’t have family values, or respect for her parents, or herself. And plainly (and I don’t mean to be rude) just didnt’ know any better, otherwise, how could she tell a roomful of shocked co-workers about her repulsive behavior and be totally oblivious to it.

You can say she wasn’t properly catechized…but it goes way deeper than that. Usige, of course your older ones would be expected to help take care of the younger one…it shouldn’t be any other way. It’s not abusive, it’s part of being a family, and as you said, it teaches them responsibility and family values. It also teaches them not to be selfish.

 

[Rence]

This is beautiful. I was crying when I read this. Today I received an email from one of my “Catholic” friends which ripped into me for not getting pregnant quick enough after getting married. She said I was going to take my husband to Hell, and I should be open to life. And that my marriage was invalid, and I was selfish.

Little did she know I had a miscarriage recently. I’m still recovering. Don’t judge without any evidence. I never talked to her about family or my sex life. There’s correcting, and then there is just cruel…

I am very very sorry for your loss. I wil keep you in my prayers.

I hope you answered the email and told her that you just had a miscarriage…she needs to know how hurtful her email was, how presumptuous she was, and learn how uncharitable she was. All very contrary to Catholic teaching. I wouldn’t tell her all that, just simply let her know you had a miscarriage. Every mistake is a learning experience, so I would kindly tell her the simple fact without judgement or rebuke. If she’s a good Catholic woman, she will know her mistake and learn from it. Her rude email was probably a pathetic attempt at “fraternal correction”. She may seek out ways to 'fraternally correct" in a more effective, and less repugnant way if she knows how her jump to conclusion followed by her hateful email looked to the recipient.

Then I hope you add her email address to your spam filter…but that’s just me You probably won’t but that’s because you’re nicer than I am.

 

[mark_a]

So, where are all the traditionally large Catholic families? What is happening with the “modern” Catholic family? Have they disobeyed the Church’s teachings on contraception? Is there a reluctance to accept God’s will when it comes to the number of children He gives us?

Calling it a reluctance is putting it mildly.

Or have they just become super experts on natural family planning?

Surely you jest!

I’ve been curious about this for awhile now. In a way I feel it is a bit sad as it seems yet another way that Catholics are losing their identity

You are correct.

How are things where you live?

2.2 per kids household. Males being discouraged from the priesthood.

 

[Rence]

2.2 per kids household. Males being discouraged from the priesthood.

Well, I can kind of understand that, kind of. If a mother only has two children, and only one is a boy…surely she will want grandchildren and someone to carry on the family name. Also, due to people’s misunderstanding, there is a poignance associated with the life of a priest as being lonely and alone that depresses people. People don’t realize the blessings of the priesthood. Perhaps it’s because we went through a phase of time when religious left the religious life (both nuns and priests)? But it’s a true calling and a true calling doesn’t make one unhappy and alone. I think moms just want their kids to be happy and have fulfilling lives.

When my brother went to a high school seminarian preparatory, we were all very supportive. A lot of outisiders thought our parents forced him. But he chose the high school, he chose to leave his junior year, and went back his senior year. What was forced was when my father overruled my mom and went through a “male menopause” turned rogue and pulled my brother out of school to man a family business. Though, if my brother wanted to graduate from the seminarian preparatory or any other high school, mom would have fought for him. It was a very dark and bad time for the family. Thankfully, when my father was no longer part of the equation, my brother went back to school and is now a fine and execellent RN. Who woulda thunk? But I have to say, something happened those years in that seminarian preparatory that turned him away from the Church. I can’t even talk to him about the Church in any way at all because he gets so angry.

But even when people have large families, there’s no guarantee that even one of them will enter the religious life.

 

[mark_a]

But even when people have large families, there’s no guarantee that even one of them will enter the religious life.

Right, and there is no guarantee that parents of 1.1 sons will discourage the priesthood.

 

[Kit15]

Right, and there is no guarantee that parents of 1.1 sons will discourage the priesthood.

The idea that more kids means more sons makes me giggle. I just can’t help it. I totally understand the idea and in theory it works. But I can just see my dad rolling his eyes with a big smile on his face. My parents kinda learned the hard way that not only does having a large family not guarantee religious vocations (the jury is still out for some of us though), but having a large family certainly *does not *guarantee multiple, or any, sons.

 

[Rence]

Right, and there is no guarantee that parents of 1.1 sons will discourage the priesthood.

I never said they would I’m just saying I can understand if they did.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Mrs. Sally, what you say is very true. I hope no one takes any of my previous posts as condemning small families.

Since we teach NFP and do marriage prep we find that many couples have never heard they truth about what is involved in having even a marginally large family. We use our time to help correct any problems with prior catechisis and share resources to help them truly prepare for marriage. I don’t think every couple is called to have a large family, but we try to show people how having a large family can work. We have loaned couples books and spent time with them outside our “official capacity” to help answer their questions.

I think the biggest barrier we have faced is not people who have prayerfully considered their family size, but rather those that have hardened their hearts and put their plans before God’s and refuse to be open to his calling.

I do not hear you condemning small families. It is so wonderful that you are teaching NFP and marriage prep, and giving your time to couples who are begining their married life. God bless your efforts!

 

[Cat]

This is beautiful. I was crying when I read this. Today I received an email from one of my “Catholic” friends which ripped into me for not getting pregnant quick enough after getting married. She said I was going to take my husband to Hell, and I should be open to life. And that my marriage was invalid, and I was selfish.

Little did she know I had a miscarriage recently. I’m still recovering. Don’t judge without any evidence. I never talked to her about family or my sex life. There’s correcting, and then there is just cruel…

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Right after I converted to Catholicism, I had a vision, just a few seconds, where I saw my mother in heaven. She was sitting on a giant staircase with many other older women, and they were all holding babies and/or toddlers. The Blessed Mother was walking among them and helping with the little ones.

My mother loved children and always wanted more of her own, but it didn’t happen. She talked about adopting or taking in foster children, but she was stricken with arthritis in her 40s and it ravaged her body and made her an invalid. She died when she was 72, all twisted and deformed by rheumatoid arthritis. She only weighed 69 pounds when she died.

But when I saw her in my vision, she was strong and straight and holding a baby and having a wonderful time. And I understood that she was showing me that she is happy in heaven helping to care for little ones who have died (or were aborted), and whose mothers are still on earth.

So try not to worry too much–I have asked my mother to take care of your little one for you. And it seems that the Blessed Mother has a lot of helpers that she has organized into care-givers for the babies in heaven.

 

[Dragonslayer]

I would agree there. We have a 16 year old that we expect to help out with her younger brother and sister. When I was growing up that was normal, but today we have been accused several times of “abusing” her because we are “forcing her” to act like an adult and “taking away her childhood.” Nope, we are giving her the tools to be independent and how to take care of others. Even with her learning disabilities she is more able to take care of herself than one of her 23 year old cousins.
For us we made the decision not to do it. We have never subscribed to the over scheduled, overstressed lifestyle. Our kids play with blocks, read, etc. but are generally at home. If they want to play a game of baseball we get other families together and go play at the park. I have never understood families that say they are exhausted because they **have **to go to piano, and then karate, come home make dinner, build a boat, write the theory of everything, take a bath and go to bed. It seems people don’t know how to just let kids be kids (i.e. most kids will entertain themselves if you just give them half a chance).
Suburban with bench seats or 15 passenger van. When we get too many in our Suburban we just take two cars (we need 4 wheel drive around our house so the bigger van is out).
While we are not poor I know what you mean. It wasn’t until we sat down and calculated the cost of day care that we realized between taxes and daycare it would have eaten more than my wife made so it was cheaper for her to stay home and raise the kids. Most people don’t know how to budget or even compare prices. We got rid of a ton of convenience foods and actually cook and bake instead. We grow a good portion of our produce in the garden and once you get into the 6, 8, 10 person household buying in bulk actually pays off.
I think there is also a misconception about the cost of raising kids. Each kid cost less the more you have. Why? Because there are certain things that spread out across all of them. Some of the highest monthly cost are say your mortgage or rent. The six of us (soon to be 7) live in the same house as friends across the street with 1 child. Our mortgages are about the same so our per person cost will go down to less than half our friends when the next one is born, but the fixed monthly cost doesn’t go up. Since we use cloth diapers and generally breast feed until around 1 year there is really little extra cost each time we have a baby, after that we have clothes from older siblings and do exchanges with other families if we need a size for a given season (it’s when the teenagers start eating you out of house and home that they get expensive )
In the end some of it’s mindset. When we got married I didn’t really want any kids and we stopped after the first two. It took us (i.e. me) 10 years to open our hearts and listen to what God wanted instead of what society told us. Since then God has blessed us time and again.

A great post Usige. I agree with you and can relate to what you said, especially the bits I bolded.

Parents of a large family tend to make do, and yes, there are a few sacrifices made, but not with the important stuff. And the kids tend to entertain themselves. I am very lucky my wife does not have extravagant tastes, does a lot of baking & cooking and can certainly sniff out a bargain. She was so proud a little while ago, she found a pair of excellent condition, name brand shoes for $5 at the local op. shop.

In my pre-Catholic days I was more than happy with our first 4 kids, and at the time I dreaded any more, and even considered a vasectomy. But, lucky for me I found God and His truth and now thank Him for blessing us with another 4. I can’t imagine life without our noisy rabble of kids.

 

[JoeKraus22]

I am also very confused about having large Catholic families. I was a decently good Catholic, till about 13. I was at a Catholic school, until third grade, but an average 13 year old is going to have problems. Obviously Masturbation and trying alcohol and pot. I wasn’t even sure if they were sins at the time. Later I stopped going to church and was caught in a world of sin. Alcoholism and Drug abuse became a problem. I had plenty of premarital sex, but without birth control. Or so I thought When I was interested in getting back to living a good life I found out that “pulling out” is a sin. I now want to wait untill I am married to have sex again. And from my understanding it’s OK to sleep with your wife, but is it only acceptible if you’re expecting to have a child?

 

[leonie]

well, I love kids, but I don’t love pregnancy. It’s hard taking care of a home and kids and feeling exhausted and sick for 9 months. With 2 more weeks until my due date, I’m not feeling too encouraging about pregnancy right now. And, I haven’t had any complications… I think pregnancy is heroic for all women.

I don’t worry so much about other peoples’ family size. Having kids is really hard. It’s worth it, but there’s so many factors working against having a large family in our society.

I think a big factor in smaller families is working moms. If I had to work, there’s no way I’d have had more than 4 kids. Even 4 would have have been a stretch. And, if we were committed to Catholic schools, I would have stopped at 4 because I would have had to work to pay tuition.

Fortunately, we homeschool and we’ve been able to make it with me as a SAHM. It’s been a special grace. I don’t know why God has been so generous with us, bringing us to hsing and to this lifestyle. It certainly doesn’t jive with my selfish, undomestic nature

Still, we have 4 year gap between two of our kids. for some good and not good reasons, we delayed conceiving. I feel like we are missing a child. I think God was patient with us for closing our hearts during that time, but He had a baby in mind for us and now we will never know him/her. It makes me really sad. I think it will be hard for couples to stand before God at their judgment and see the souls that God wanted to give them. I think it will be heart breaking.

For infertile couples, they are getting their heartbreak now

It’s a broken world.

 

[guanophore]

Long and short I do think there is a cultural component to it, even if that’s not the only reason.

Culture of Death.