Where does a single man meet a good, single woman?

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praestat_fides said:
Zzyzx Road;12212872:
Men under 5-8 may as well be invisible online, for instance.
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I can attest! lol
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Funny story, that: I’m about 5’8", but my wife is actually one inch taller than me! Even though we met here, and not in a dating site, it’s probably still amusing that when she PM’d me that first time she was annoyed, asking me if I’d turn her down for being taller than me, because I’d mentioned I wanted a woman who was shorter than me (I explained to her that I would give a taller woman a chance if we really clicked, it’s just that I felt I would feel short, and obviously I gave her that chance! :D). So at least there are some women out there that evidently will not only date a short guy, nor for that matter are they only willing to date a guy shorter than they are, but be interested enough to protest if they thought a shorter guy wouldn’t date them! 😛

But then, I’m perfectly willing to believe I just got myself one special gal! 😉

Blessings in Christ,
KindredSoul
 
The key to online dating is to not think you’re going to find your mate right away.
Think of it as making friends, just like you do here on CAF or any other online site.
People put all their emotions out there, which can scare off people.
Be friends. Be witty. Be sincere. Try not to take yourself too seriously…desperation comes through load and clear…but being a great person does too!
 
pianistclare said:
Anyway, depending on your age, if you are 30-ish…you can ask your married friends if they have single sisters, cousins, friends, etc. from their Catholic school days or parishes. A nice way to break the ice too…at a friend’s house over a backyard bar-b-que.
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Whoah, don’t do that! That’s a good way to come off as really desperate and get your married friends to stop talking to you.
 
pianistclare said:
The key to online dating is to not think you’re going to find your mate right away.
Think of it as making friends, just like you do here on CAF or any other online site.
People put all their emotions out there, which can scare off people.
Be friends. Be witty. Be sincere. Try not to take yourself too seriously…desperation comes through load and clear…but being a great person does too!
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I have no problems with any of those things generally. I just have the “bad luck” of always being around/getting along with/attracting ineligible females (ones that are married for some weird reason, like I stated in the OP).
 
JorduSpeaks said:
Whoah, don’t do that! That’s a good way to come off as really desperate and get your married friends to stop talking to you.
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I hope you’re kidding. If your friends won’t introduce you to a nice woman, they’re not your friends. 🤷
 
agapewolf said:
Online “dating” is not actually dating online. It’s a tool to be introduced. Just as one would go to a coffee shop and strike up a conversation with someone-- who you don’t know who they are or what they are about, you find a profile you like (and you have some information about the person already-- a filter), and you strike up a conversation. Just like if someone were to introduce you to someone, the site does it instead of a person. And you can read a bit about them before hand. (On some catholic sites, actually see where they stand on important issues). In my opinion, its better than the random risk of Joe somebody at mass or anywhere else.

Moving to meeting as soon as possible is the best way to go. The only way online functions as the introduction.
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Of course, I understand that. Meeting in person doesnt stop a person from playing with you. Like I said, if you cant see a person in their element, or dont know them (basically with online dating you’re meeting up with a complete stranger, even if you’ve been talking to them online for months) you cant really be sure the person is who they say they are. At least not at that point and certainly not on a date by date basis.
 
JorduSpeaks said:
Whoah, don’t do that! That’s a good way to come off as really desperate and get your married friends to stop talking to you.
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I can agree there. Though I havent done this, it seems like it would be highly awkward for all involved. And if it doesnt work out, it can get even weirder and strain friendships, sides taken, etc. I wouldn’t put that job on my friends either, as ultimately it is my job. I cant expect things to be given to me.
 
pianistclare said:
I hope you’re kidding. If your friends won’t introduce you to a nice woman, they’re not your friends. 🤷
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Yeah. If they won’t introduce you, it’s because they’re worried about something about you.

You don’t ask the same person/couple more than once, but once is fine. A lot of people indulge in a little light matchmaking.

I don’t (mainly because I don’t know a lot of single guys), but I usually have a couple of sweet, very pretty, inexplicably single women in my mental files–I can think of two right now in our area (my daughter’s former 3rd grade teacher–the angelic Miss D). I also have a fat, but very sweet and very smart, and very conscientious second cousin that would make the right guy very happy, if the right guy happened to ask.
 
Thorns said:
I have no problems with any of those things generally. I just have the “bad luck” of always being around/getting along with/attracting ineligible females (ones that are married for some weird reason, like I stated in the OP).
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A lot of ineligible women will tend to be more flirty with guys. This is for two reasons: 1) they miss all the attention they got when they were single, and 2) there is no (perceived) risk of a relationship actually forming. Basically, they are leading you on and using you for their own gratification. They might not even initially be aware that they’re doing it, but the fact of the matter is that they are flirting with you BECAUSE they have no genuine attraction to you. If they were genuinely attracted to you (and they were not having marital problems), they wouldn’t be flirting with you, as you would constitute a danger to something they actually value.
 
Thorns said:
I can agree there. Though I havent done this, it seems like it would be highly awkward for all involved. And if it doesnt work out, it can get even weirder and strain friendships, sides taken, etc. I wouldn’t put that job on my friends either, as ultimately it is my job. I cant expect things to be given to me.
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It’s not expecting to have things “given” to you–it’s how this has normally been done through the ages.
 
Thorns said:
I can agree there. Though I havent done this, it seems like it would be highly awkward for all involved. And if it doesnt work out, it can get even weirder and strain friendships, sides taken, etc. I wouldn’t put that job on my friends either, as ultimately it is my job. I cant expect things to be given to me.
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Really? Your friends can have a party…and they can’t invite single people?
That’s too bad. I think that’s the way a lot of people meet…at social functions. I would prefer friends invite me over…that way I could realize the person is not a creeper UP FRONT.
Strangers? ALOT harder. 🤷
 
Xantippe said:
It’s not expecting to have things “given” to you–it’s how this has normally been done through the ages.
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“Through the ages” was a time before people concluded that lonely = desperate.

You’re right about friends not wanting to set you up with other friends if they think something’s wrong with you, but we live in a society where many people think that if a person has been single for more than a month, there IS something wrong with him.
 
JorduSpeaks said:
A lot of ineligible women will tend to be more flirty with guys. This is for two reasons: 1) they miss all the attention they got when they were single, and 2) there is no (perceived) risk of a relationship actually forming. Basically, they are leading you on and using you for their own gratification. They might not even initially be aware that they’re doing it, but the fact of the matter is that they are flirting with you BECAUSE they have no genuine attraction to you. If they were genuinely attracted to you (and they were not having marital problems), they wouldn’t be flirting with you, as you would constitute a danger to something they actually value.
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Im pretty sure theybwere genuinely attracted. A few of them were very touchy feely, flirty, and made advances, sent emails heavy with innuendos to me at work, coming by my desk at work to chit chat and make suggestions. Its kind of sad none of them are wife material or even single.
 
There are a lot of ways to meet women. For me, it usually starts with a pleasant conversation which, if it leads to more pleasant conversations, I suggest going out. In a few cases, the girl just said no, but in other cases, it was, “OK.” A light dinner or going out for coffee. If the conversation and chemistry are there, it just keeps going.

Peace,
Ed
 
JorduSpeaks said:
“Through the ages” was a time before people concluded that lonely = desperate.

You’re right about friends not wanting to set you up with other friends if they think something’s wrong with you, but we live in a society where many people think that if a person has been single for more than a month, there IS something wrong with him.
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You need to run with a better crowd then. (just kidding)
Anyway, I met my husband when he was 46 and still single.
I didn’t think anything weird about him. I was glad he had no “baby mama drama” or oddball habits.
I think that a if a person puts out a lonely vibe, then yes, people are put off. But as I said before, friendly, a bit witty, and genuine…a nice girl will respond positively to that. No matter where you meet. 😉
 
pianistclare said:
Really? Your friends can have a party…and they can’t invite single people?
That’s too bad. I think that’s the way a lot of people meet…at social functions. I would prefer friends invite me over…that way I could realize the person is not a creeper UP FRONT.
Strangers? ALOT harder. 🤷
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A lot of the married people I know (and some people who are just bf/gf) are very uncomfortable around single people. Some view single people as a threat to their relationships. Others view a person’s single-ness as evidence of some horrible personality flaw.
 
pianistclare said:
Really? Your friends can have a party…and they can’t invite single people?
That’s too bad. I think that’s the way a lot of people meet…at social functions. I would prefer friends invite me over…that way I could realize the person is not a creeper UP FRONT.
Strangers? ALOT harder. 🤷
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Its not weird there justbto socialize, but I would feel like its not my place to be seeking a potential spouse among my friends’ friends. They might feel awkward about that and might stop inviting me to their parties, and rightfully so if I became branded as “that guy.”
 
pianistclare said:
You need to run with a better crowd then. (just kidding)
Anyway, I met my husband when he was 46 and still single.
I didn’t think anything weird about him. I was glad he had no “baby mama drama” or oddball habits.
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This might be a generational effect going on here, then. I’m 30, and I can tell you that of all the people I knew dating back to high school, the norm was either serial monogamy or non-monogamy. If you weren’t seeing someone, you were either promiscuous or weird, so non-promiscuous people felt highly pressured to find a relationship with someone as soon as they were single. If you stay single long enough, well, nobody wants to be the person who missed the thing that caused everyone else to reject you, so they defer to everyone else’s judgment.
 
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