Where does a single man meet a good, single woman?

[Xantippe]

This isn’t just a male problem, I should mention. There are also single women who moon over other women’s husbands, for whatever reason. I suspect part of the problem is lack of imagination. She’s looking for a good husband and father and voila–there he is! It requires a bit more imagination to eyeball a single guy and figure out what kind of husband and father he’ll be.

 

[Thorns]

Why do you think that? It was very short.

The poem actually is very apropos–namely that inexperienced young men (like yourself or the 19-year-olds in the poem) can’t even see “nice girls.”

More:

The young men come, the young men go
Each pink and white and neat,
She’s older than their mothers, but
They grovel at Her feet.
They walk beside Her 'rickshaw wheels –
None ever walk by mine;
And that’s because I’m seventeen
And She is foty-nine.

lol. So let me ask a little more directly. Where does one “see” nice girls?

Obviously work is out of the question for the reasons Ive repeated many times, the hobbies I have are all guy hobbies and there are only other guys. Outside of that I dont really do much else. I dont think a night club would be the right environment either, which people suggest.

I have no clue what Catholic girls like to do. What do they like to do?

 

[Thorns]

Actually, many people read the OP and gave ideas. You simply shot them down.

On line
At Church
At work
Through friends

Yea, I guess they did. None of those seem applicable or feel right for me personally I guess. I was hoping there were more options lol.

 

[maryjk]

Interesting point…sometimes, when we are constantly seeking a mate, we assume that everyone else is too.
They might just be nice people. Many of us project our feelings into random situations.
At any rate, either way, less is always more…less pressure, less worry…all make for the days and the relationships to go better. Peace.

A little background.

I am married, have been for more than 20 years. My husband and I used to do a lot of bike riding. With a group. There was a mix of married and singles. Some married bike with their spouse. Some had non-biking spouses.

One of the single guys had a thing for one of the married women. I asked him what he thought he was doing.

He was convinced that she was as interested in him as he was in her. How did he get that idea? Because she was so nice to him, helping him. I asked how what she was doing was different from what I did.

He didn’t have an answer. See, he *wanted *her feelings for him to be different than my feelings. So he read a bunch more into what she did.

Now if these women are truly asking the OP out, I would confront them. In a very loud voice. I would let everyone know that they are trying to cheat on their spouses. If the invites come via email, I would forward those emails to HR, and claim sexual harassment. I bet it would stop these adulterers from doing it at work.

 

[Xantippe]

More Kipling:

She rides with half a dozen men,
(She calls them “boys” and “mashers”)
I trot along the Mall alone;
My prettiest frocks and sashes
Don’t help to fill my programme-card,
And vainly I repine
From ten to two A.M. Ah me!
Would I were forty-nine!

I remember when I was that age–my mom (a virtuous, but attractive middle aged lady) was VERY popular with the cute teenage neighbor boys, much to the despair of my teenage sister and I.

Speaking as a current middle aged lady, I can see exactly why this happens. The married ladies may have a bit more charm, polish, and experience, and they’re better at coaxing shy guys out of their shells and putting them at ease and are more willing to “work” at social interactions. Meanwhile, the younger girls want someone to put them at their ease and coax them out of their shells, which means a lot of evenings spent alphabetizing holy cards.

 

[Xantippe]

Yea, I guess they did. None of those seem applicable or feel right for me personally I guess. I was hoping there were more options lol.

Nope, that about covers it, unless you are part of a secret NASA mission to an earth-like planet with humanoid and reproductively compatible aliens. (That would be meeting through work, though, so forget I mentioned it.)

 

[Thorns]

Now if these women are truly asking the OP out, I would confront them. In a very loud voice. I would let everyone know that they are trying to cheat on their spouses. If the invites come via email, I would forward those emails to HR, and claim sexual harassment. I bet it would stop these adulterers from doing it at work.

I have filed a complaint on one woman a couple of years ago. She has friends in higher places and retaliated against me, and I was given a hard time at work. To this day, I still experience some.of the effects of it. I contacted my Union and explained and they.didnt want to fight for me, they advised me not to fight and not to create a hostile environment for myself. So i listened to them and try not to make waves anymore.

Should I look into an attorney perhaps?

 

[Xantippe]

lol. So let me ask a little more directly. Where does one “see” nice girls?

Obviously work is out of the question for the reasons Ive repeated many times, the hobbies I have are all guy hobbies and there are only other guys. Outside of that I dont really do much else. I dont think a night club would be the right environment either, which people suggest.

I have no clue what Catholic girls like to do. What do they like to do?

That would be a good new thread title–“Hey, single Catholic girls, what do you do for fun?”

 

[maryjk]

I have filed a complaint on one woman a couple of years ago. She has friends in higher places and retaliated against me, and I was given a hard time at work. To this day, I still experience some.of the effects of it. I contacted my Union and explained and they.didnt want to fight for me, they advised me not to fight and not to create a hostile environment for myself. So i listened to them and try not to make waves anymore.

Should I look into an attorney perhaps?

I certainly wouldn’t work in a hostile work environment.

 

[Thorns]

I certainly wouldn’t work in a hostile work environment.

If only finding another job was so easy…

 

[Thorns]

This isn’t just a male problem, I should mention. There are also single women who moon over other women’s husbands, for whatever reason. I suspect part of the problem is lack of imagination. She’s looking for a good husband and father and voila–there he is! It requires a bit more imagination to eyeball a single guy and figure out what kind of husband and father he’ll be.

Btw Im not mooning over anyone. I get along with people and when I find out theyre taken, I distance myself.

The assumptions run strong in this thread, I’ll give you all that.

 

[Bataar]

lol. So let me ask a little more directly. Where does one “see” nice girls?

Obviously work is out of the question for the reasons Ive repeated many times, the hobbies I have are all guy hobbies and there are only other guys. Outside of that I dont really do much else. I dont think a night club would be the right environment either, which people suggest.

I have no clue what Catholic girls like to do. What do they like to do?

Yeah, I’m in the same boat. I work in IT and there’s not a single female in the building. My hobbies are definitely male centric. Some times another guy will bring a wife/girlfriend, but that’s it. No options at church and I’ve tried online dating with zero luck.

 

[bsf]

Clearly, some of the single posters in this thread are quite distressed over their lack of dating success. I am sorry this has been so disappointing for you. It seems some individuals with some experience in these areas have provided some very good advice on where and how to meet “good, single women”. Very nice of them to reply and graciously offer their advice.

Regarding hobbies that which are highly unlikely to help you meet these “good, single women” who interest you; maybe you could find some other hobbies which interest you and would be likely to help you meet these women. What are your priorities?

 

[Joe_5859]

Yea, I guess they did. None of those seem applicable or feel right for me personally I guess. I was hoping there were more options lol.

Don’t diss the advice from the married people of the thread.

I suppose if you are looking for another option, you could always go back to school. That’s kind of a poor reason to seek out further higher education, though.

 

[pianistclare]

Yea, I guess they did. None of those seem applicable or feel right for me personally I guess. I was hoping there were more options lol.

OK. You seem like an ordinary, nice guy. :tiphat:
You don’t go to church? Fix that. :tsktsk:
Only married women ever show up at your workplace? That’s odd.
You don’t go on the internet? Well, nice try, we know you do…
You don’t have any friends that have one,
just one friend who is single and also a girl?

You’re right, It’s hopeless. :imsorry:
The rest of us “found” our mates through sheer mad luck. :hypno:
No just living the life for us…nope. :dts:
We rolled the dice and rubbed the genie bottle. :bounce:
You should get one!
I’m trying to make you see how silly this whole thing is.
Get OUT! Make yourself available. What are those “guy” hobbies" anyway?
For every one of these threads there are another dozen by lonely Catholic girls who can’t find a decent guy.
I think that’s why someone invented Starbucks…:

 

[Allegra]

This made me laugh out loud. (The part about looks, the post is excellent)
I met my husband through Catholic Singles.com, and I have to tell you his picture was HORRIBLE. :hypno: :manvspc:
I tell this story all the time: I talked to him in their chat room because I felt sorry for him.
It wasn’t until we skyped that I saw what he really looked like. Some people take REALLY bad pictures. By the time we chose to talk via internet camera…
I had already decided he was a good guy, a practicing Catholic, and not a creeper.

Anyway, depending on your age, if you are 30-ish…you can ask your married friends if they have single sisters, cousins, friends, etc. from their Catholic school days or parishes. A nice way to break the ice too…at a friend’s house over a backyard bar-b-que.

I found my husband on Catholicmatch.com and his photo was terrible too. It literally looked like a mugshot, except that he was sitting at an organ. Apparantly, he was under the impression that it isn’t cool to smile. I had to do extensive retraining in order to get him ready for the wedding photographer.

 

[pianistclare]

I found my husband on Catholicmatch.com and his photo was terrible too. It literally looked like a mugshot, except that he was sitting at an organ. Apparantly, he was under the impression that it isn’t cool to smile. I had to do extensive retraining in order to get him ready for the wedding photographer.

This is hilarious, thanks!
I can imagine showing the photo to your friends…
“here’s my new boyfriend with his organ”

Yeah. Joe think he should put his chin up to the ceiling when posing for pictures. Along with the irish dancing clenched fists at his side.
you should see his DMV photo! ay yay yay

 

[Xantippe]

Don’t diss the advice from the married people of the thread.

I suppose if you are looking for another option, you could always go back to school. That’s kind of a poor reason to seek out further higher education, though.

Community colleges often have cheap, fun non-academic classes. I would have a good look at the catalog and take one per term.

Language classes also offer a lot of interpersonal interaction, come to think of it.

 

[Xantippe]

Btw Im not mooning over anyone. I get along with people and when I find out theyre taken, I distance myself.

The assumptions run strong in this thread, I’ll give you all that.

Well, I’m looking for an explanation of the fact that it’s like you’re wearing some sort of super-hero glasses that render single women invisible. It’s otherwise difficult to explain why you only notice attractive married women.

 

[Chayla]

Community colleges often have cheap, fun non-academic classes. I would have a good look at the catalog and take one per term.

Language classes also offer a lot of interpersonal interaction, come to think of it.

And, in my experience, most people attending these classes are women!!!