Where is a good place to find a Catholic Wife?

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My advice?

Don’t pursue any woman older than 25. If she’s older than 25 and unmarried, there’s a reasom other men aren’t taking. At the minimum be VERY careful here.

Don’t date any girl who talks about equality, women’s rights, or thinks of marriage as a ‘partnership’.

Don’t marry any girl who has a sexual past that includes more than one ‘mistake’ and even with only one, think real carefully about what you’re doing first. One previous sexual partner for the wife raises the divorce risk significantly. It continues to rise significantly as their ‘number’ goes up.

Don’t marry a girl with divorced parents, or one who’s mom acts like a rhymes-with-itch or whose dad is a pushover. Don’t marry a girl who is “daddy’s little princess” either.

Do NOT get involved with single moms. (Unless they are a widow, and in that case, find out who the husband was.)

As for finding them… Good luck. If men knew where to find good women there wouldn’t be 17,000 rock-songs about good women being a myth. Your every day average Catholic parish, you might as well be trying the night-club for the quality of women you’ll find there. That’s some needle in the haystack rhymes-with-sit. Since you don’t like dating sites, you’re kind of limited in your options. Try to find some GOOD elders or couples and see if they can play matchmaker with you. Just be aware that old people will look at a literal rhymes-with-door and say ‘she’s a sweet, innocent girl’ so do your homework.

Best advice I can give is to be aware that no wife is better than a bad wife and most of the girls you’ve met and will meet will make bad wives. Learn to be happy being alone.
 
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ChunkMonk said:
Best advice I can give is to be aware that no wife is better than a bad wife and most of the girls you’ve met and will meet will make bad wives. Learn to be happy being alone.
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It’s probably good that you feel that way because with those views of women I don’t see you leaving the alone category anytime soon.
 
And he knows that too, which is why the OP shouldn’t listen to his advice.
 
It is good I feel that way, but I would also caution the OP to not be too quick to be ‘reveal his full power level’ because even some potentially good women are still trapped in the feminist-Matrix and might be turned off if they are hit with hard-truths right off the bat.
 
ChunkMunk,

The OP is aging into the point where he could also be on the receiving end of, “If he’s 29 and he’s not married by now and he’s a Catholic guy, there must be something wrong with him. A good Catholic guy would be married by 25.”

Let’s follow the Golden Rule here. If he’d like to have allowances made for his being 29+ and unmarried, he’d best make allowances for women who are 25+ and unmarried. It’s hard for single, faithful Catholics to find each other–let’s not make it harder by creating arbitrary and unrealistic deadlines (like women having a whole three years to find a husband and get married). Ditto if he happens to have come from a divorced home or to have had parents with a less than ideal marriage.

A lot of people (and you can see this from secular advice columns) are just starting to date in their mid-20s. We are in an era of late-bloomers.

It would be terrible to wind up married to a woman who thought she was your equal, that she had any rights, or wanted the two of you to work together to build a home and a family. Where could a decent Catholic woman possibly get such ideas? (Aside from the last half dozen encyclicals talking about women and the family, of course.)

A guy who has more than one “sexual mistake” in his own past looks really bad when he demands something from women that he couldn’t manage himself. (Bonus points for terribleness if the guy believes he has the right to keep screwing around until he meets his perfect virgin bride.)

I would also not be thrilled about my daughters dating a guy from a divorced family or whose parents have a bad marriage (and by the way, there are other kinds of bad marriage than witch wife/pushover husband). But there are only so many people on the planet, and a lot of people are able to overcome bad upbringings.

There are also one or two songs about the singer’s man doing her wrong.

You think a Catholic parish is just like a nightclub? HA HA HA!

Fun fact–a lot of nice Catholic women don’t like men who use bad language or bad language euphemisms in mixed company.

Also, I see that you said nothing about how the OP could be a good, attractive person or find somebody he really clicks with. Compatibility is about a lot more than just a checklist of bad things to avoid.
 
Go to a prayer meeting matching your age group. Best place I think and go on to retreats like SEEK and other places.
 
Look, I ain’t really interested in defending my standards. Of course, like any standard, they are adjustable to the fact. If I or the OP meet a wonderful young woman who happens to come from a bad family or is older than 25, we would be fools to impose a cold standard on a warm body. Some flexibility is virtuous. Too much flexibility is foolishness. It’s up to the individual to decide for themself when or how. I offer broad opinions.

If women hold as their standards that my standards or behaviors are unacceptable to them, good for them. I don’t sit around moaning that all these women don’t want to date mean ol’ me. Since every time I mention my standards I get at least one “No woman would ever want you!” and people like you never offer a defense, I take that as proof that the problem isn’t quite so black and white as you’d like to think.
 
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MP_Kid said:
I am a Catholic man searching for a Catholic wife. I am 29 years old. Most of the Catholic women at my parish are already married or have no interest in dating me. …

I have been told by my elders that church is a good place to find a wife, but the few times I pursued women after mass I got told by them that church is an inappropriate place to ask them out. …
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Ok to ask to share a social event, from Church. It is not the same as the all to common sinful practice of a date for sinful activities.

One reason is that there are so few to choose from and the other is that it must be mutual. The numbers are even smaller due to the desire for independence and not wanting children.
 
Your advice is just plain weird given that 90 percent of the couples I know did not marry until the wife was over age 25. Most people like to finish their educations first, and for many women these days, that includes college and graduate school, which often can take you until you are 25 just to get done.

Also, all of your “don’t date this and don’t date that” do not make much sense when it sounds like the man is having a hard time finding anyone to date as it is. Once he’s done following all your rules, there will be like 2 women in his entire county who he might be able to go out with. Not helpful.

“Learn to be happy being alone”? Man, you sound like the life of the party. Are you/ were you married?
 
I know you said you tried dating sites, but did you every try Catholic Match or Catholic Singles? They might be a lot better for you

Another good place is at Daily Mass (if not your parish, perhaps at one where there are a number of you people (like a Cathedral or other city parish)

Also, there is the annual National Catholic Single Conference too.

Finally, you could attending the Steubenville Conferences at Franciscan University
 
Ask you priest…
Who knows,he may be like one of my nephews…
He found the perfect match for his sister,and …risked it!
He told this wonderful guy he should meet his sister.
This man didn t know what to say and felt he couldn’t t say no…how? This was his priest… But what can the sister of a priest be like?? The sister of a priest!!!
Fact is he was in his early thirties and my niece late twenties and she is not only adorable but really very pretty…
We still laugh out loud when he tells the story of how freaked out he was by the proposal to meet her .
And they are happily married surrounded by their kids.
So who knows…your priest may know the excellent match for you!Even perhaps one of his own sisters…
Love that story,and my nephews and nieces…😀
 
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@Tis_Bearself

I’d be willing to bet $100 @ChunkMonk is single…

I’d even be willing to bet he’s never even been intimate with a woman.

Yet here he is playing the love doctor…

The advice he gave was literally the worst dating advice I’ve EVER read. And I’ve seen some pretty crummy dating advice.

OP, you’d do well to ignore every word ChunkMonk said… in fact, do the exact opposite of everything he said and you’ll probably find a good woman easily.

The women on this thread (@Xantippe, @Laura_N and @Tis_Bearself) gave you the best advice, by far.
 
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ChunkMonk said:
Don’t pursue any woman older than 25. If she’s older than 25 and unmarried, there’s a reasom other men aren’t taking. At the minimum be VERY careful here.
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What century are you living in?
ChunkMonk said:
Don’t date any girl who talks about equality, women’s rights, or thinks of marriage as a ‘partnership’.
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In other words, don’t date a Catholic woman who has a good understanding of the Catholic stance on women?
ChunkMonk said:
Don’t marry any girl who has a sexual past that includes more than one ‘mistake’ and even with only one, think real carefully about what you’re doing first. One previous sexual partner for the wife raises the divorce risk significantly. It continues to rise significantly as their ‘number’ goes up.
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People make mistakes and it’s incredibly wrong of you to judge based on past sins; you don’t know if she has repented or not, so how about you not judge so quickly.
ChunkMonk said:
Don’t marry a girl with divorced parents, or one who’s mom acts like a rhymes-with-itch or whose dad is a pushover.
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Utter, utter nonsense.
ChunkMonk said:
Just be aware that old people will look at a literal rhymes-with-door and say ‘she’s a sweet, innocent girl’ so do your homework.
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OP, please don’t listen to this. God, this is a horrendous post.
 
@Hope_Philomena

I’m with ya 100%

If @ChunkMonk had even a shred of common decency or chivalry, he’d delete that horrific post.
 
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Glad to see I struck a chord.

Your attitude towards women is deplorable, your advice to the OP was despicable, and your reply to me was disgraceful.
 
Hope_Philomena said:
What century are you living in?
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Reality doesn’t change with the passing time. A woman older than 25 who is not married should probably be asking why she’s been sexually mature for nearly a decade and unable to rope in a man. Especially because her attractiveness has peaked and she will never be as attractive again. So it’s a valid question to ask why she is where she is.
Hope_Philomena said:
In other words, don’t date a Catholic woman who has a good understanding of the Catholic stance on women?
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Feminism is not Catholic dogma, as much as you want it to be, it just isn’t. Also, feminism is a very unattractive personality trait.
Hope_Philomena said:
People make mistakes and it’s incredibly wrong of you to judge based on past sins; you don’t know if she has repented or not, so how about you not judge so quickly.
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People need to be extremely discerning who they marry. It would be wrong for me to judge a woman’s soul by the state of her teeth, but I wouldn’t want to date a woman who doesn’t brush and floss. Women with multiple sex partners prior to marriage are statistically a bad bet. A man should be made aware of the risks.
 
You should ne thanking me. I have you a chnace to white-knight and signal your good feminist credentials so women you have never met can give you e-likes.
 
I love your constant usage of right wing buzzwords, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. Just finish watching Alex Jones for the day, did ya?

I’m happily married, I’m certainly no feminist and I especially despise third wave feminism, and it’s kinda hard to be a white knight when I’m an anonymous person talking to anonymous people on a message board.

The gift of discernment doesn’t appear to be a gift you’ve been blessed with.
 
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