John 20:21-23. Jesus sent the Apostles (the first Catholic priests, who through the laying on of hands sent more Catholic priests, right down until today) to forgive sins on his behalf: and told them
“Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you withhold forgiveness from anyone, it is withheld.”
From the beginning, therefore, the Church Jesus founded (the Catholic Church) has provided the sacrament of Reconciliation (‘Confession’) wherein we penitents confess our sins, out loud, to one of Jesus’ priests. Yes, we all share in the ‘priesthood’ of Christ in a
certain sense – but there is another sense in which those consecrated priests are (and have always been) set apart to serve Christ’s sheep in a special way. And he gave those specially set-apart priests (starting with the Apostles) the authority to both forgive sins – and to
withhold forgiveness. These are Jesus’ own words. (And knowing whether to forgive, or whether to withhold forgiveness, requires hearing the confession out loud.) So from the beginning, the Church Jesus founded has understood Jesus’ words to require that a confession be made out loud, to one of the priests he gave authority to hear and forgive on his behalf. And this has been the consistent practice of the Church Jesus founded, from the beginning to the present day (and it will continue, faithful to Christ’s will).
Reconciliation through one of the priests Jesus authorized to serve us in this way, is a tremendous gift. I believe God deeply desires you to come home to His Church and receive this gift!
He showers His beloved with so many goods, and the Church he founded really is his bride. The Catholic Church Jesus founded is where the fullness of truth is found: where Jesus himself resides, in the Eucharist.
Maybe on top of asking questions online, you might see about spending some time in a Eucharistic Adoration chapel in your city? Just spending one-on-one time in the same room with Jesus himself? I know that had a profound effect on me during my conversion period, and helped me move forward in my understanding of the Lord.