P
ParkerD
Guest
Lax16,Lax16,
Since you asked about whether I have been in a position that I would have counseled others with chastity issues in their lives, I will explain that I have had that situation years ago but that it never involved adultery, only young women and young men and I will explain some of the counsel I gave at that time:
To the young women, I tried to get them to see that as they placed their body into a situation where they were being used by a young man, that they were treating their body as a separate entity from their core person and allowing that separate entity to be used as something to try and please the young man, but if they would reconsider and realize that their body is their personal property and that to disconnect (in their own mind) their core person from their body is unhealthy and dangerous for their inner peace–they cannot do that and have inner peace. I also counseled them that as they placed their body into an intimate relationship with a young man, their core person would never be the same because their whole emotional self forms a connection (an emotional bond) with the person with whom they have that kind of a relationship, and thus the importance of the law of chastity and the importance of repentance and the atonement of Christ to try and restore that which has been lost and the counterfeit experience (inner peace and a counterfeit emotional bond that would need to be erased through the atonement of Christ working in that young person’s life as they repent.)
To the young man, I tried to get them to see that by treating a young woman as an object for their experimentation or gratification, they were placing a significant emotional and spiritual hardship in the life of that young woman with the counterfeit emotional bond that was intended by God and by nature to be a lasting, life-long commitment in such an intimate relationship. They needed to realize that a young woman will have a very difficult time getting over such a thing, if ever, and that the extreme selfishness of their act places them in a condition of needing not only repentance and forgiveness from Christ and from the young woman, but also a whole change of outlook about how they view women and how they will view them and treat them in the future.
I tell you those things above so you may understand that when I wrote about the question of Joseph Smith and “adultery”, I am totally familiar with the understanding that he would have had about these kinds of issues and certainly about the emotional impact on the life of a woman to have an intimate relationship outside of her marriage and the difficulty of the emotional confusion that would entail for a woman, and the selfishness of the man who would place a woman into that kind of position in her life.
Joseph Smith did not act out of selfish motives–one can sense this who sincerely studies his life, but only if they sincerely do study his life whereas they are going to be bombarded with superficial arguments where someone is trying to discredit him as happened during his life and as happens today on the internet or wherever, if they do not do a sincere study and consider the implications of the things he did in trying to help bring about a Zion people on earth among his followers. One would look at how he reacted when he heard of people in need, how he reacted when a person had turned against him but repented and came back seeking restored friendship, and how he wrote about the core doctrines of the gospel regarding unselfishness and regarding leadership without selfish or grandiose motives. (See, for example, Doctrine and Covenants 121, entire section.)
Since you again brought up the issue of counseling youth, above is my response to that sort of accusation about whether I have or have not. (It was to other people’s children, not my own. It had to do with a responsibility I had at the time, many years ago.)