Why Am I Single? Where to Find Catholic Men?

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Update - I bit the bullet and messaged the guy. He didn’t respond but according to other social media outlets, he is active online.

When I made the fake account, he viewed my profile.

I knew I was ugly but now, I’m certain I’m gonna die alone. Am I that ugly?
 
Half of that bothered me but the other half is that I got no views, likes or messages. I mean, I used good photos and filled out my profile in detail so my self esteem was so low that I cried last night. I’m not getting any younger and time is flying. I have no siblings and my parents are almost 70. I also have no relatives here. When I was young, I was certain that I want a family of my own one day and now, I’m starting to lose sight of that.
 
You have to learn to live in the moment IMHO. You are not going to find the perfect match in a few days on CM or any other dating sites. It takes work to find a mate. Even though my wife and I clicked, it wasn’t hey one date and puff we are married. I enjoyed the time courting my now wife. Go out and socialize and you really need to learn some positive vibes. I have to tell you, your being so negative is a really big turn-off.
 
OK…this might read like a book, some of it may read like a put down, some not but I’m going to try to be to the point.
  1. I haven’t read ALL of the replies but what I have read is excuses. I don’t wanna E-date, I can’t go out, etc…etc…etc. Thing is, you have to. Some guy isn’t just going to show up at your house. If you don’t put yourself into social situations, you aren’t going to meet anyone.
  2. Your self-esteem issue. I’d recommend some sort of counseling. Like someone said up thread, I can read your body language. If you aren’t confident, that will hinder opportunities to find someone.
  3. “I thought he was my soulmate.” You can’t do that. You can’t read a profile and think that someone is your soulmate and then be crushed because he doesn’t reply back. Go into it thinking that you have a lot in common. Then find a few more guys that you have a lot in common with and message them, so on and so forth. Don’t just “hang your hat” on one profile in a sea of over 1 million.
  4. There’s over 1 million profiles on CM. It may take more than a couple days to get messages from other users because there’s so many profiles to choose from. I noticed in one of your posts that you made a “fake profile”. What makes it fake?
Here’s the tough love: I don’t really know your upbringing or how your teenage social life was, but you seem to have a distorted belief around what dating is and how it works, mix in your self esteem and you’re going to have problems on “the dating scene”. You have to be confident and put yourself in social situations.
 
Let me see, could he be in a meeting? In the bathroom? Visiting his Aunt in Tuscon?

Please, look into counseling.
 
And not every person on CM is on stand by waiting for messages. Some people have other friends and other things they do and don’t keep checking in on CM.
 
bostonsportsforever said:
I knew I was ugly but now, I’m certain I’m gonna die alone. Am I that ugly?
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You really need to get professional help. This is not rational thinking. You send one message and then go off the deep end.

Everyone here has given you lots of helpful tips and advice. Your view of yourself is beyond any help that anyone here can give you. You are stuck in your reasons for failure and are unable to move forward.
Please make an appointment to see someone.
 
bostonsportsforever said:
I bit the bullet and messaged the guy. He didn’t respond but according to other social media outlets, he is active online.
Click to expand...
That’s online dating. Message 100 people and maybe you’ll get 30 replies. Out of those you might chat seriously with 20 and meet 5-10.
bostonsportsforever said:
I knew I was ugly but now, I’m certain I’m gonna die alone. Am I that ugly?
Click to expand...
To be frank, this way of thinking is not normal. Please get help.
bostonsportsforever said:
I got no views, likes or messages. I mean, I used good photos and filled out my profile in detail
Click to expand...
Online dating takes time. Expect to be scrolling and messaging for months if not longer. Also, if you’re not paying, you’re probably wasting time. Most dating sites and apps severely handicap free users.
 
Are you ugly, as in physical looks? No
What is ugly, sorry to sound cruel but to use your word, is your attitude.
You have a “but…” for every bit of advice.
Are you looking for validation? That comes from within.
I honestly go back and forth between feeling bad for you and getting so angry.
God helps those who help themselves and despair is a terrible sin. It is difficult pit of darkness to haul yourself out of but you can, trust me, if you WANT to. You must do this yourself. Others can cheer you on but those cheerleaders will fall to the wayside if you continue in this manner.
Please seek help and learn to love yourself. No one else will if you don’t ('cept God if you believe).
 
Well, now that we’ve been given a time limit…

OP, you can’t get anyone to love you, without being a loveable person. In these days of restriction, you can’t expect to have people falling in love, and becoming your ‘soulmate’ overnight! Most of us, during this pandemic, couldn’t arrange dates if we wanted to!

So, use this time to think things thru. I imagine that, for the time being, your parents really need you. So, do what you have to, try to have a cheerful attitude, keep checking the site you’ve joined, and re-read these posts. Think positive. And, don’t let anything your parents say get you down. It’s probably best if you don’t bring up the subject of dating/marriage…with them!

When you are able, you should try and see a counselor.

God Bless!
 
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