Why Am I Single? Where to Find Catholic Men?

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I want to find a guy but how about those people who are lucky? Right place at the right time or someone falls in their lap? That’s what I want to be - lucky.
 
There’s an old saying that we make our own luck. Put yourself out there and be friendly and upbeat.
 
Come on now. It does sound like you want some guy to just drop out of the sky and fall madly in love with you. That won’t happen because it doesn’t happen for anyone, no matter how you think it might. There is no luck. There is putting a smile on your face and believing in yourself. If you don’t believe you are good enough, or good looking enough, or talented (or any other enough you drop in there,) no one else will either. Guys are attracted to happy, secure, confident women.

Stop making excuses, and vow to do things differently. Don’t wait for someday. Start today.
 
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Problem is, as Irishmom says, that doesn’t often happen. You more often need to actually make an effort to do things and meet people.
The problem with your attitude is that your own inaction and lack of confidence reduces your chances. If you continue without taking steps to address the issue then more than likely you’ll be in this position in ten years, wondering why you met nobody.
You’ve been given lots of good advice on this thread about how to meet people and address your self-image issues. You seem very reluctant to try stuff, but you’ll have to get out of your comfort zone if you want results.
You’ve even had a date offer from this thread.
 
Advice here is like a “Nike” commercial. “Just do it” You really need to get yourself out there. Go do stuff you like to do and please stop with this : “I’m Ugly”. It is self-defeating and of no use.
I’m not the greatest looking guy in the world and I’ll tell you what helped me was going out doing things I loved to do. It was when I least expected it I started dating the girl I would ask to marry me. We both joined a church group not because we were looking for someone but because we liked the church group and what they were trying to do with the parish. You really need to get yourself out of your comfort zone.

Peace and keep us abreast on what you decide to do 🙂
 
Hi. I don’t know what to do. When I go out, I go to the gym, bank (if need be), post office (if need be), and the grocery. I’m not working so I don’t have the money to go out and do things. My parents aren’t working either so…

My area is very small and ghetto. I’m 99 percent sure there’s no one I want to meet around me so I don’t know what to do in the meantime. Plus, if I decide to go out, I’ll have these thoughts again of why would people want to be friends with me when they can be friends with someone else etc. I tried to make friends in college and no one wanted to hang out with me (same thing when I was working) so why bother again? Plus I made the first move on guys before and I got rejected and I don’t want to do that again.
 
I am a broken record. Listen again.

Volunteer somewhere. Your church. An animal shelter. A soup kitchen.
Do anything that is going to get you out among people and not thinking about yourself all the time.

You don’t have to have money to go out. No one said go clubbing or bar hopping. There are lots of things that go on in a community if you look for them. Go get a makeup tutorial at Ulta. Try on clothes in a department store.

Get a job. Any job, even fast food. Anything to make money. Just do something.

And then, move. Move somewhere and start a life of your own, a life not under your parents rules and expectations. It is time to stop living for them and what they want.

Come on, girl. Throw off the excuses, get off your butt and get going! 🙂
 
“I’m ugly”
“There is nothing to do here.”
“I don’t like those guys.”
“No one likes me.”
I can almost hear your body language…
 
Lots of excuses. Lots of giving up before she even starts.

Stop spinning your wheels, @bostonsportsforever! 😉
 
bostonsportsforever said:
no one wanted to hang out with me
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You sound like me. People at work would go to lunch and I would not be invited. People would leave and we would lose touch.

What I found was that I had to be willing to initiate. If I make contact some will reply, and I used means of communication that I felt would be easy to ignore if the person didn’t want to keep in touch. Also, in some cases, they initiated meet ups and I found it was more or less the same for them. I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but I’ve learned not to be afraid to make the effort. Worst that can happen is nothing, and that will happen if you don’t.
 
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Sometimes that is what it takes. For whatever reason you aren’t invited, they are taking you up on your offer. And if that goes well, then just keep inviting. It doesn’t matter who initiates.
 
In my life, I always intiated. When I was in elementary school, high school, college and work. I always made the first move to make friends. No one made the first move to make friends with me. In elementary and high school it’s easier to make friends so I had friends but we all lost touch and the times that we got together again to meet for reunion, I would ask to hang out and they wouldn’t follow.

College and work, no one wanted to hang out with me. Remember, I made the first move. So why bother again? Why bother wasting my time?
 
I like the idea of volunteering at the Animal Shelter if you can. Most can use the help and being around animals usually perks most people up.

You really have to stop making excuses girl and get out there. Not saying it is going to be easy but staying in the same rut isn’t helping you meet people. My wife and I when we were dating went to the Young Adult Catholic group sing-alongs that was held in Old St. Patrick Church in Chicago. I know this was after we started dating but it still was a very cheap night out and there were plenty of single men and ladies each month. We went for pizza beforehand at the local joint. I knew the area as I went to UIC for undergrad college. We still talk about it 20 years later how much fun we had doing something we both enjoyed.

Explore your area and you will find things/events to participate in. We joined the Marriage Encounter group 2 years ago and we love the group of marriage couples that we have met. We went out just this past Saturday for lunch with one of the couples.
My point being that even when you meet somebody and marry them you have to always work on the marriage to keep it alive. Doesn’t have to me expensive events but something to that one of you enjoy.

Now, no more excuses and get out of your comfort zone! You need to start living and experiencing live. You don’t need a date for that.
 
bostonsportsforever said:
So why bother again? Why bother wasting my time?
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To make friends and build your self esteem up.
Are you wasting your time on something better? It’s only a waste of time if it is keeping you from time spent doing something more worthwhile. Sitting home doing nothing by yourself does sound better than at least trying to make friends by having new experiences.

You know @bostonsportsforever, you keep falling back on what has happened in the past and you won’t even try. How can anything happen if you don’t try?
 
@bostonsportsforever have you made a list of things you like to do?
If not that would be a start and share it here.
Do you like art, photography, reading, writing? I’m just tossing ideas here.

I also recommend starting a journal of only positive thoughts. It can be only one sentence to start with each day. You need to make it happen and a journal of positive thoughts really can help. I know because I did one when I was at a low point in my life.
Everyone has roadblocks they have to deal with but constantly being negative is not going to help you move forward. Get your pen out and write a positive thought for the day. Yes start right now. Really start right now. Stop making excuses.
 
Have you considered volunteering? Is there a Big Sister program near you?
 
My Son feels the same way, at 23… He works crazy hours and during the day he sleeps so it is hard for him to find Catholic Women…
I just tell him leave it in Gods hands…
 
@bostonsportsforever

What was your major in College? I ask because my major had a club and even with the Alumni Association they still do things from time to time. If you graduated college are you active in your alumni association? Is there a Theology on Tap program in your area?
Anyway hope you take some of these suggestions here and give them a whirl.
 
I also want to leave it in God’s hands but that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life and it seems like nothing is happening. Now, I’m starting to wonder if I need to take action. Like I may need to take action to go after what I want in life but at the same time, I’m still waiting to get lucky.
 
I studied Business Administration. I am not active as my school is over an hour away from me. Theology on Tap - there is not; I checked.

Update for anyone who’s kept up here: I made an account on CM to see who’s online and there’s few people who caught my eye but I don’t know if I should go for it and see what happens or still wait to see if I meet someone in real life as I’m still not comfortable with online. It also goes with the idea of should I wait and leave it in His hands or take action and go after what I want in life.
 
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