Why Am I Single? Where to Find Catholic Men?

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Hi there, as a Catholic single guy I can tell that you’re not ugly and would happily take you on a date, I don’t where you live obviously but if the opportunity arises then I’d totally be down for that. While I’m also nearly 27 and single, I have been several different relationships a most of which were not Christ-centered and at best only semi-Christ centered. That being said I can tell you you’re not missing much. Everything you need to know about healthy relationships can be found in the Church teachings and the lives of the saints. St. Pope John Paul II spoke and wrote extensively on human relationships, sexuality, women etc. I highly recommend you read his book “Love Matters” along with his papal document “Mulieris Dignatatem” and his Theology of the Body. I would recommend that you consider that you being at least for the time being is God’s protection over you. I can tell that our generation in general and especially men inherited the hedonistic philosophy and culture of the Sex Revolution from the highly mistaken boomers. However #MeToo is challenging aspects of that culture and has raise the incompatibility of this sexual free for all culture and maintaining the dignity of women. Of course St. Pope John Paul II already spoke on this decades before #MeToo. Our generation in general is only focused on sex completely devoid of its purpose and meaning. However, I think women are starting wake up but unfortunately the men are running a bit late. I think our generation is starting to realize this hook up culture has failed us and so called “sexual liberation” hasn’t liberated anybody but has rather made us slaves to our desires of the flesh and the Vice that goes with it. Please ask for St. Pope John Paul II’s intercession and along with Mary. Best of luck to you!
 
Hi. Thanks for your reply. I will for sure look into what you shared and I agree with you on what you said about today’s culture 👍
 
Okay now, @Augustine-More, and @bostonsportsforever, you two need to spend some time PMing each other. And no discussing how either of you looks! 😉
 
Is the website legit? Are there people on there that are fake/scams?
 
There are many people on CAF in the past that have met their spouses on CM. As with meeting people in real life, you need to use caution.
 
Some things I noticed is that you are no longer in school and don’t work. Well, those are the two most likely places to meet someone. So, it sounds like you are somewhat isolated.

Maybe you can join a Meetup.com group where you can meet other people. I would write right now a lot of young people are struggling. Things like underemployment and school debt make it difficult to have a relationship and get married. It’s a tough time so you are not alone in being single.

I would write better to be alone than unfulfilled. You want a relationship but you certainly don’t want a bad relationship. Don’t read self help books or take advice from relationship experts. That’s all media hype.

Develop your friendships, that’s more important right now. I hope and pray God guides you in your life path. Definitely pray the rosary, ask God to guide you.

I myself will be single for the rest of my life, but I find no problem with singlehood and celibacy. I’m not advising you in that direction, but instead of thinking of a family think first in companionship.
 
Yes it’s a very legitimate site and probably the best Catholic one out there. I’ve never encountered any fake/scam profiles.
 
Well I guess there’s no guarantees but at least if you’re putting yourself out there you have increased your chances. As well, maybe consider moving outside your area and joining an active Catholic community. I don’t know about the US but in Ireland there are a number of Facebook groups aimed at promoting relationships between Catholics/pro life individuals etc. And many people meet through parish activities.
Basically any social gathering or activity has potential for you to meet people. In the meantime, enjoy your life and engage in hobbies. Most men are attracted to strong, confident women.
 
Okay, if you were my niece or my daughter I would say this: The “I’m so ugly” refrain makes me wonder about your self confidence. We are far more than our looks, and anyone can improve their looks if they want to.

What are your interests, your hobbies, do you like Opera or rollerblading or video games?

I LOVE cosmetics, and I say when you feel you are in a rut, find an excellent stylist and get your hair done, then head over to Ulta and pick up a new red lippie. One cannot every feel ugly when wearing red lipstick!

Promise, you are not the only Catholic millenial in your town. Speak to your parish about putting together a get together for young adults. We do a bi-weekly game afternoon, Sunday afternoon, sometimes it is video games, sometimes board games. Are you a reader? Start a pairsh book club, parish biking club, hiking club, cooking club, dinner out club. There are literally a thousand ways you can start to find a Catholic community in your area.

Self confidence is very important.
 
TheLittleLady said:
I LOVE cosmetics, and I say when you feel you are in a rut, find an excellent stylist and get your hair done, then head over to Ulta and pick up a new red lippie. One cannot every feel ugly when wearing red lipstick!
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This reminds me of my Aunt. When ever her kids (my cousins) had school problems, relationship problems, whatever problems, she’d always tell them to put on some lipstick and you’ll feel better! She just passed away a few months ago at 97 yo. At her passing, my cousin was crying on the phone as she told me and said…Who’s going to tell me to put on lipstick! It made us laugh a little at such a tragic moment.

So yes…Put on some lipstick! It’s a start!
 
bostonsportsforever said:
I’m almost 27 so it’s kinda discouraging on my self-esteem because other people I know have had some experience unlike me. Where can I find Catholic men? I live in a small town that’s far from a major city and there’s mostly families or old people in my area. I am not in on online dating and I won’t approach as I’ve tried that before and I got turned down. Any feedback/advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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Well, you are far from activities where you could meet people in person, and your are not open to meeting people online. The solution must involve changing at least one of these factors. If you do not put yourself in situations where you can meet people, you won’t!
 
I can’t get plastic surgery and that’s against my beliefs anyway. I do have low self confidence but it’s the looks that captures attention first so if you don’t look good, how is someone supposed to come up and talk to you?

I like cleaning, cooking, photography, learning new stuff online, shopping, trying new foods, and traveling.

I did get my hair done which made me feel happy and yeah I’ve been considering using makeup again but still not sure.

That sounds so much fun! I read but not as often as before. However, I’m not sure if there are the type of people in my town that I like or even if they would like me in the first place.
 
I’ve been thinking about online but I’m serious when I say I don’t photograph well so I don’t think I can succeed in online. In person, even when I was in college transferring to a new school, I tried to make friends but no one would want to hang out with me so now I believe that why would someone be my friend when they can be friends with someone else? I tried networking also and it’s the same thing so why bother wasting my time?
 
Hi,
First, as others, I don’t think that you are looking ugly!

But if you think so, it can impact negativeley your self-confidence, and make things worst for finding a man, or for many aspects of your life, inluding professional work.

I am sad that nobody seems to have said that your are beautiful. And no, I don’t think of men. The first who should say “you’re beautiful” are fathers and grandfathers. It brings enough confidence after to support or doubt when someone said us otherwise. Are your father have ever said so?

Is anyone has already said you that you are “ugly”? Seriousely?

Back to the topic. first, I will said that it may be a grace that you are still inexprerienced, because unless someone is ready to be married, there is no point in dating. If you find the “right person” waiting for nearly a decade is challenging for a relationship. And if you don’t find the right person, you will go from bad experiences, including often sex and difficult break up.
Never date to feel better, more beautidul or more “experienced”.

Second, I think you have an idea that is little immature about what love is. Focus on looks seems much more a thing for teenagers than for a woman of your age. I my be wron, and maybe that it is something that is very important in your culture.
What you seems to said is that because women hang in group and some men come to invited for a date a woman. And that’s how relationships are formed. Sorry, but i have never se something happened like that past 17 years old. Because first it is not something that a man should do. It is impolite for the others women present, and annoying for the woman who is proposed. What sort of places do your frequent for that happened? I would suggest to find others places. I have never seen that among groups of catholics.

I will said that selecting a woman or a man based on the apparence at first is not wise and very superficial. Looks does not brings any compatibily. We choose someone who is compatibles because of our values our personalities, or complementarity. It is because a deep emotional bound exists betwen two people that a friendship may develop in a love story…

I would say, find some place where you can be yourself and meet many catholic people. Where you can discuss ho you are, discover the others and make friends. Including men. Maybe one would be the one. Or maybe a friend of a friend, if you make freindships with some in informal context to add. Youth ministy, student ministry, at a local or diocesan level or through catholic association can be a start.

You are a student currently. You maybe too old for some men already, but you have a great opportunity to met so many people! You are also free to follow a man who alreay work in his geographical area without barriers unless yours! It would be over when you are installed in professional life. Start now! Don’t miss this opportunity even if you have to spend a little money on meetings.

Going online can also be a solution to discuss with some men (or a man) deeply without the pgysical involved. To know better someone you have met in real lide, or through dating sites.
 
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