Why Am I Single? Where to Find Catholic Men?

  • Thread starter Thread starter bostonsportsforever
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Hi! I see that you’re new here. Welcome to Catholic Answers Forum!!! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
As another user pointed out, you are not ugly. God made you in His image on purpose and for a purpose. Everything God makes is wonderful, so, no matter what anyone else says, you are an amazing, unique, one-of-a-kind original, so never look down upon yourself. You look pretty in your avatar, by the way. If you need some more encouragement, here are some bible verses that can help. 💕

“By the Grace of God, I am what I am”
  • 1st Corinthians 15:10
“I will praise you for I am fearfully & wonderfully made.”
  • Psalm 139:14
“She is clothed in strength & dignity”
  • Proverbs 31:25
It’s possible that you just haven’t met the right man yet. A lot of people don’t meet the right person until really late in life. You’re only 26. Give it time.
Also, you might have a vocation to the single or religious life. Have you ever considered becoming a nun?
Also, from one woman to another, you don’t need a boyfriend/husband to be happy. You really don’t. Many women are really happy as singles.
I’ll pray for you!!! God bless!!! ♥️
 
Last edited:
If meeting a faith-filled Catholic man is important to you, exhaust all means, be it online dating, Church involvement, references from friends, etc. And discard any notions of your looks having any bearing on this situation. The tone of your post exudes the need for better self-esteem more than improved looks or even a Catholic man. Statistically, most people marry. The ones that do not don’t do so on account of not being “pretty enough.” That is nonsense.

What kind of scam would an intelligent girl like yourself possibly fall prey to? Use common sense and apply the behavior of a genteel Catholic woman the same way we should in real life. Deeper discussions about the faith will weed out any pretenders who don’t share your values.

I met my wife on Catholic Match and we just had our fifth baby. Unless we had another one while I was at work, which frankly wouldn’t surprise me 🙂

We both sought out CM not because of any reasons related to our appearance, but because years of societal dating had proven fruitless with regards to our very specific, targeted goals of sharing our Catholic faith with someone. My wife being beautiful was an added bonus. My wife being a faith-filled Catholic was a non-negotiable.
 
Last edited:
I know someone your age with the same difficulty. Like you she’s very pretty (sorry to contradict) and she actively mixes in Catholic circles.

But she finds that supposedly Catholic men often turn out to be not quite so Catholic - not taking Mass attendance seriously, wanting physical relations before marriage, and being keen to have only a couple of children, if necessary using contraception.

When she doesn’t accept these conditions she is dropped.
 
The OP needs to be where the single Catholic men are. That said, it is more difficult now than it used to be decades ago. Not to mention it is more difficult to lead a Catholic life than it used to be. Catholic Match works for some, may God bless them and give them many children, but it is not for everyone. It is more looks based than many will admit. Main thing is to be willing to get out there and mix it up socially. Those in a small town might have to move closer to a big city or be willing to date long distance.

I wish the OP well.
 
Last edited:
If I’m not ugly (as I see from some people on here) then someone needs to explain why I never had anything. No complement or asked out or no boyfriend. There has to be some explanation. Also, if I’m not ugly then what am I?
 
What if the men that like me aren’t the ones that I like? It seems the people I like they like the good looking women and I’m the opposite of that. I def. need to move to a large city for sure; that’s my goal.

I’ve tried applying for out of state jobs and no luck so that’s why I’m going back to school. I wish I can find Mr. Right; believe me, I’ve been praying every day since high school.
 
I think you know we can’t answer that. All we know is what we see in your picture, and to me you look pretty. Is there anyone you trust that you can talk to?
 
bostonsportsforever said:
Someone needs to explain why I never had anything before
Click to expand...
Because it just hasn’t happened yet. The world is full of people, if you are looking then the chances are ypu’ll probably find someone. I never got a massive amount of attention from women in my early 20’s. That doesn’t mean I was ugly.
bostonsportsforever said:
There are some things that they fall into people’s laps and I want that. Like, I want God to give me a clear sign or send someone.
Click to expand...
That is not necessarily going to happen though. There’s an old saying “God helps those who help themselves”, meaning that divine intervention is a rare thing and that generally, in life, God works through our actions. God can sometimes put something right into your life and make the way very clear, but more often he works through what we do. If you want a husband you generally need to do something about that.
I mean, if you wanted a car, you’d go on the internet, research cars, find what you want, take it for a test drive and see if you liked it. You might also have to save money or go to the bank to get money for it. Obviously dating isn’t necessarily as straightforward, but the same principle applies. You need to do certain things to get what you want in life.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Adam, tell her your own story, or send her a PM?
Click to expand...
Oh yeah. I met my wife here on CAF. We just started casually chatting by PM about a topic. At the time I was discerning religious life. We kept in contact and after the year of discernment was over I decided it wasn’t for me and I left. After that we began to chat more and more and we eventually arranged to meet in her home country of Latvia. We made a few more trips to each other and I proposed to her and she moved to Ireland where we got married and now live. (I’m Irish by the way)

I suppose the moral of the story is that you could look at this as something falling into my lap, but I had to be online and open to it in order for it to happen. If I thought she was a scammer or a catfish and that fear prevented me from pursuing her then I’d still be single.

Perhaps your parents think online dating is odd, but the fact is that it’s prettymuch the norm now. In 2005 it was a bit unusual, in 2010 it might have been still seen as still not the done thing, but in the past few years it’s simply become another way people meet each other.

You could also try a Catholic marriage agency. We have one in Ireland and I’m sure you have something similar in the US. Basically you send in your profile and it is reviewed by the staff and they try to set you up with someone similar to what you would like. It’s different from online dating in that it’s all done on paper by actual humans, and everyone involved is marriage-minded. I’m not sure about the success-rate, as I’ve never actually tried it, but if you really don’t want to try online then it could be an option.
 
Last edited:
You seem to be bit focused on appearances. That isn’t wrong but it isn’t exactly right either. You know the saying of don’t judge a book by its cover? Well, don’t eliminate a guy that isn’t your dream look! My roommate in college was drop dead gorgeous by anyone’s standards. She married a guy that looked like a young Woody Allen! He wasn’t good looking by anyone’s standards BUT he was bright, intelligent, had a great sense of humor and they fell in love! Never rule someone out…well unless they literally make you nauseous to look at 😂😂😂.
 
bostonsportsforever said:
Hi, everyone. I’m a new user on here. Thanks for reading and responding in advanced. A little bit about me - I’ve been Catholic my whole life and single my whole life. I think it’s because I’m ugly but I never had one man complement me or ask me out, thus never having been in a relationship or had a boyfriend. I often think why am I single and then look in the mirror and see the reason but I have a lot to offer.

I try to express my feelings to my parents but my father doesn’t listen and my mother says “God’s plan is for you to be single” which is the last thing I want to hear. Ever since I was young, I knew that I want to have my own family one day. I have been praying to the Lord for a nice man but nothing yet. Why am I single?

I’m almost 27 so it’s kinda discouraging on my self-esteem because other people I know have had some experience unlike me. Where can I find Catholic men? I live in a small town that’s far from a major city and there’s mostly families or old people in my area. I am not in on online dating and I won’t approach as I’ve tried that before and I got turned down. Any feedback/advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Click to expand...
bostonsportsforever said:
I have pressure to be in a relationship as I’m an only child with no relatives here (USA) besides my parents and my parents are really old so not only that but I want a family one day.
Click to expand...
  1. Memorize this phrase and repeat 100 times a day: “If I could handle lifelong celibacy, I would be wearing a habit by now”.
  2. Also look up CCC 2230 regarding the duty of parents not to exert undue pressure on adult children in the choice of a profession or spouse.
  3. You might look into the National Catholic Singles Conference:
    http://www.nationalcatholicsingles.com
  4. To put it bluntly, your mother sounds clueless at best and emotionally abusive at worst. It also makes me wonder if she is grooming you to be their lifelong servant. Is she the one who makes you think you are ugly? Does she prevent you from doing anything outside the home?
  5. You say you feel pressure to be in a relationship. Is it coming from your parents? If so, it’s very strange that they would put pressure on you to be in a relationship and then say that it’s God’s plan for you to be single.
At this point, I think you need to save your money so you can move out on your own and put distance from your mother.
 
bostonsportsforever said:
Do you believe in the saying “everything happens for a reason” or “if it’s meant to be will be” or the idea of luck?
Click to expand...
I get the “it’s meant to be” line all the time from one of my aunts and frankly it’s nothing but salt in my wounds and she knows it. I’m at the point of simply cutting myself off from her completely and telling her to “go in peace”.
 
bostonsportsforever said:
I feel like the people I will be interested in are in major cities especially those my age? My area is small far from the city filled with either families (young) or old people. I think the millenials are in the major cities but don’t know that for sure.
Click to expand...
In my experience, younger people populate EF parishes in the cities, while older (40+ y.o.) people make up the majority of OF parishes. So yes, you’d probably have better luck in the cities.
bostonsportsforever said:
For the feeling to be mutual, does that mean someone has to give a hint?
Click to expand...
No, you just want to (indirectly) let him know the feeling is mutual, is all. Otherwise, you may both develop feelings for one another but, due to doubts on his part, he may not pursue them.

Not all guys are that reserved of course, but a notable percentage of them are.
 
Hi. Thank you for sharing how you met your wife and your story. What you said really caught my attention regarding “God helps those who help themselves” so in the case of finding someone, what should I do? Online dating isn’t something I would consider at the moment but maybe down the line. I already go out and look presentable. I could get involved in activities but even when I was in school, I haven’t had anything so even if I do all of these things, what if nothing happens still?
 
I know looks aren’t everything 😅 especially since looks fade but yeah I need to be okay with his looks to some extent. That’s a great story; thanks for sharing! I was on CM last night to see some people available; there’s quite a few that caught my attention but not sure if they’re real. Seems to good to be true.
 
I looked into that. Are there people my age there? From the photos, it seems that there’s kinda middle aged people?

I’m glad you think that way because everyone I talk to they say something similar of my mother. She doesn’t understand and grew up in a different time and culture. No, I think I am ugly. No one else. I can’t do anything outside of the home bc I have no money as I’m not working so kinda not related.

I feel pressure because not only do I want a family one day as that’s all I’ve been wanting ever since I was young and my parents are the only family I have. I have no siblings nor relatives here and they’re already really old and I don’t want to die alone as well.

Yeah I really want to move out so badly. Thank you for your reply!
 
Hi. Thank you! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I know God made me the way I am for a reason but I need to know…why so ugly? I’ve always felt I looked ugly since I was young and it doesn’t help when your friends get complements or asked out in front of you or had boyfriends and I seriously haven’t had anything. Thank you so much for sharing those verses and for the kind words!

I’m not getting any younger and it seems that time is flying by. You know with the things in the news and stuff we all deserve to be happy and live life each day to the fullest and I feel like love and relationships are important in life.

No I don’t want to be a nun nor do I want to be single. I want a family one day. I agree; I don’t but when I go out and see families or couples I get sad bc I’m kinda lonely :cry:

Thank you!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top