Why Did You Have So Many Kids?

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Deus_tecum said:
Children and big families are a blessing to all involved. I’m speaking of intact 2 parent (one man, one woman) families of course, not single moms who crank out 6 kids by 6 different men with the primary goal of increasing their welfare benefits. A child in a big intact family is never without a friend. He is never bullied at school beyond perhaps just one day. He always has prayer partners for spiritual matters, tutors for homework, and teammates for sand lot sports. You almost never hear of a child from an intact big family going bad.

By contrast an only child can be come so self absorbed he develops narcissistic, sociopathic traits. Several mass killers have been only-children. Our current president is an only child. He openly authorized the assassination of American citizens deemed to be terrorists.

God bless you for having a big family where the kids can all grow up in God’s love expressed through you and your husband, and each of his or her brothers and sisters.
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I grew up around a lot of Catholic families, and those of us with eight and ten and twelve and even sixteen kids were not known to use our siblings for our prayer partners for spiritual matters. I also don’t think it counts when your brother protects you at school because giving you a hard time is his personal privilege. The sports thing is true; those younger ones turn out to be extremely tough football players. 😃

Seriously, though, children from big or intact families can “go bad”, too. The family is the domestic church. It is not the size that matters. It is the fidelity that matters: fidelity to each other, fidelity to God, fidelity to a virtuous life. And like the greater Holy Mother Church, the guidance of the domestic church is a great immunization from concupiscence, but free will still operates in a large family. Genetic vulnerability to addiction still operates.

The dig about the welfare benefits came off as just mean-spirited and a bit Sister-Bertha-Better-Than-You, BTW. When the end of the world comes, we’re going to be judged on how we cared for the hungry, for the least ones. Heaven forbid that any of us have the Lord noting on our ledger that we chalked up someone else’s willingness to avoid a publicly-funded abortion as nothing more than evidence that she wanted publicly-funded welfare benefits. “My mother did not abort me even though she knew she’d have to raise me alone, and you accused her of greed…” No, thanks, I think we can pass that one. It is just another way of expressing that we are confounded by the question, “Why did you have so many kids?” The situation is bad, yes, but the alternative (that is, the one taken by people whose pregnancies due to unchastity remain hidden because they resorted to abortion) is far worse.
 
Easter Joy- well said. None of us can judge another’s intentions or heart
 
I have two so far (and they’re both boys so people feel free to ask me when I’ll be having a girl, as if I were somehow in charge of this), but I have already a few sarcastic remarks saved up if/when I get asked this question. I probably shouldn’t relish the opportunity to use them, though. 😛 :getholy: 😉

I have had a few people genuinely inquire about how many children we’ll have, not to be rude, and they get nice responses, and nobody (in person) has questioned that we don’t use contraception (even had a few "oh wow, never thought about it like that"s). But as I said, we only have two, so if the number gets higher people may turn on us (“But I never thought you really meant it!”)
 
po18guy -love your sense of humour- I find laughing at myself, situations and others reactions to me cuts through rhetoric and anger…humour works
 
HoneyBea- anything is possible when we are open to the working of the Holy Spirit
 
Cathoholic - smart insight; it is true; the joy of the Lord is my strength, my shelter, my protection and it IS a sign . It is the fruit of the Spirit
 
debbie_h- everyone’s call is different. I had one sister and ,generally speaking, I raised my kids like I was
 
Memaw love your attitude to life…cars rust, houses fall in but Love never dies
 
Monicad- thank-you for your charitable response to my slip- I will be more careful not to insult or put down others
 
mommamaree- you are absolutley right… my apologies to all -
 
becca77345- four kids is a lot, after three or four, the same dynamics come into play and everyone has a different call, vocation and witness. I personally think being a single working mum with one child would be a harder lifestyle for me
 
motherofnine9 said:
po18guy -love your sense of humour- I find laughing at myself, situations and others reactions to me cuts through rhetoric and anger…humour works
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I originally wrote, but deleted, that you could tell them: “except for that darned nine-month gestation, I could have ten beautiful children by now!”

Truly, them asking you such a question is none of their darned business, and quite insensitive. Their question may actually reflect more on them: is there only sufficient love for one or two children in their hearts?
 
po18guy- I used to joke about that very thing…“if only I did not have to be pregnant for 9 months…”
 
motherofnine9 said:
po18guy- I used to joke about that very thing…“if only I did not have to be pregnant for 9 months…”
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Look at the bright side: mother elephants have to wait a year and nine months!

Look at the other bright side: mother cats only have to wait two months, and she gets a bunch at once! Since she can have 3 litters a year, a cat could easily have her nine in less than a year! (OK, homeschooling is far easier for a cat. 😉 :D)

God is so wise…
 
well said…I am smiling, now grinning and barely containing laugher- thank-you
 
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