Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women?

[Crescentinus]

Nobody is out to destroy you and you aren’t important enough for people to plot against you. If we read a lot, we’re used to a central perspective, as in we’re in the middle of action and the character we read about (or watch in a film, or even actually direct in a computer game) is important. Until we’ve achieved something significant in life, we really aren’t so important that people would think about us a lot, let alone plot against us or try to ‘destroy’ us. Frankly, there isn’t even much to destroy. We aren’t millionaires who could have a spectacular bankruptcy. We’re just normal, relatively insignificant people, we don’t have a large fortune or a big image to destroy. And if somebody humiliates us, even in public, we will get back in shape in no time and our lives won’t change. Most of the time.

You’re at school, still growing up. I lived with my head in clouds when I was your age, and said similar things. By contrast, it was mature of you to admit that you said something immature before.

Odd, that I do read a lot. Except that I rarely get to read though. o:
But yes, you are right. I’m just very cautious.

plays that weird chocobo theme from Final Fantasy IV

Another weird criteria that I have is that the woman that I’d want to date must not be over 9 months younger/older than me. o:

 

[Dangerzone]

You know what I mean.:yup:

The jerks, bullies, rowdy, smooth talkin’ ones never want for women hanging all over them.

While the nice guys are sitting there thinking “what the heck, I thought girls wanted nice guys.” :doh2:

C’mon guys, let em hear it, vent a little.:sad_yes:

C’mon girls, why do you go for them?
:flowers:

There have been studies done on this very question. Apparently, women are attracted to a protector and provider, in other words an aggressive male as opposed to a shy, introverted one.

The modern equivalent of the ancient caveman with a club (an aggressive male), is the well muscled dude who rolls up to her house in a leather jacket on a motorcycle, rather than the introverted one who arrives in a four door sedan and wants to take her to a sushi bar.

The guy on the bike will win out almost every time.

 

[kelvinf]

Slooooow down there, sir. Don’t fall into the opposite extreme. The same thing that goes for men who would like to be more attractive regardless of not wanting to become what women find attractive, can also be true for women. You don’t need to convince and mostly force yourself to pursue women who cannot attract you. Expand your perspective, broaden your horizons, challenge any presumptions or conclusions you’ve made about what’s ‘your type’ and what’s not but don’t pretend attraction doesn’t matter unless it really does not. Or you’ll be hurting the woman and yourself. For now, I think you need to let the dust settle so you can digest the experience.

That is a false dichotomy. You can find very attractive “nice girls” too. One thing doesn’t exclude the other.

Here is a translation of a comment about that in one of my favourite Catholic blogs, it was a reply to a young guy saying that it was almost impossible to find a Catholic girl, and one that he was attracted to.

He said this:

…the probability of meeting a practitioner Catholic woman is quite low, and if beyond that, we want her to be attractive and with university studies the “perspective” is a fantasy…

Thx! Well, it all boils down to: we (both sides) can be picky, but we shouldn’t whine, cos we can always turn to the next person and decide to love the person for who he or she is. I know that’s kinda impractical but it’s the gospel message about love. Personally, I think there should be some degree of feeling, attraction in any relationship.

 

[chevalier]

The problem with what you just did (elaboration) is that it ends up being too long. Just saying.

Reading a lot of text was standard when I was young. It doesn’t hurt a more modern person once in a while.

Look I’ve lived my entire life being harassed by people who think they could ‘fix’ me. They think I’m some broken machine that they, the oh-so-wonderful heroes have to fix. If not the machine, then I’m the monster they have to slay. I’m the bad guy. I’m the jerk. I’m the loser.

You will be if you tell yourself you are.

Don’t forget sir. I’m part of Generation Me, the most egotistical generation to date.

True but you can get out of it. You can dictate your own terms and fight hard, against yourself mostly, to enforce them.

Frankly, I’m just sick of it. There’s just no way I can see myself being an abuser. I don’t insult kind people. I treat well those who treat me well in turn. The only time that people should be worried about getting hurt is if they did something seriously wrong.

You still miss the point that what you had said before did not make sense logically. It wasn’t about you being an abuser or not. In fact, it wasn’t about you. It was about the thesis that people who are not particularly strong in the physical sense are incapable of being abusers, which is not true.

To equate me with an abuser is to equate me with the very people I despise.

Nobody is equating you to anything when he points out a mistake in your logic.

Cut me some slack if I find that insulting.

Cutting you a lot of it.

 

[chevalier]

Sorry for wedging in but:

1. Dating a dude since some of them do look more like men.

Either you’re attracted or not. The rest doesn’t really matter in a normal situation.

1. Dating a teenager since some of them look younger than they actually are.

Not people’s business. And you aren’t much older than a teenager yourself, if at all, are you?

1. A good thing since according to Konata from Lucky Star “Having a flat chest is a status symbol!” My question is, a status symbol for what exactly?

You can’t be asking people about a random quote from a random anime. That one, single anime shouldn’t be so defining to you (in fact, it should be marginal). You’re presuming a lot if you’re presuming that e.g. Debora or other folks know what you’re talking about.

1. A good thing since they want me to be attracted to them when I’m not.

I can assure you women don’t walk around wanting you to be attracted to them. Chances are they don’t even think of you while looking at you. This is normal among humans, actually. We start thinking about others like that when we enter into more personal interaction with them.

And nobody is telling you to be attracted to something or somebody you aren’t attracted to.

By the West, I mean Europe, America, Australia and New Zealand. Sadly, the number of heterophobes in those lands are growing mostly due to how homosexualists proselytize. Unless they are stopped, heterosexuality may be outlawed! That is my cause for alarm if I go to the West and marry there. Sadly, the Western school of homosexism is also invading my homeland (partly thanks to President Obama’s policies on homosexism) hence me being worried about a takeover.

There is no army of gay people or gay sympathisers out to get you, relax. Yes, in some countries you can get in trouble for saying in public that homosexual activity is immoral. No, nobody is forcing you to date people of the same sex as you are, or transvestites. Gay people are already far and between, let alone transsexuals.

Again, it was rather immature and irrational of me. And yes, I think too fast like blitzkrieg.

 

[GraceDK]

This whole “flat chasted” thing you keep talking about is very bizarre to me.

First of all, by “flat chested,” you probably mean small breasts… since no woman actually HAS a FLAT chest unless there is something seriously wrong with her or if she had breast cancer or something.

As a small chested woman myself, I find your claims regarding rumors or people thinking you’re actually dating a man to be pretty outrageous. Not to mention very offensive. I most certainly don’t look like a man, neither do I look like I’m 12 years old just because I have small breasts.

I hear you. Men who talk like that are making themselves look very shallow.
Imagine women on line talking about not wanting to be with a guy who had a small you-know-what. Thats the talk of the flesh and the world who is steeped in sin.
Femininity and masculinity is something much grander and deeper than the size of peoples first and secondary genitals. Frankly I think people who talk casually about womens breast sizes lack in the virtue of chastity… They should be happy if any good woman would ever love them truly. Love is a privilege.

Only shallow porn-generation men come on line and talk about women with a flat chest. I wonder if most people even know what a normal female breast size is anymore.
They should educate themselves by looking at movies from the 80s where the push-up porn stuff had not yet become the mainstream.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

Reading a lot of text was standard when I was young. It doesn’t hurt a more modern person once in a while.

Yeah well, I’m somewhat forced to hang with trolls who abuse the tl;dr counter (if you can even use it to describe their lame-wit responses). I’m just frustrated, sorry. =.=

You will be if you tell yourself you are.

Well guess what, you’ve just described a battle that’s been raging for 10+ years in my poor old soul. It really infuriates me that the narcs in my life think I’m just being dramatic, that my whole little underdog story is overrated. That’s how much ego I’m drowning under right now. There’s no compassion, no pity, and everyone thinks that the best way to help somebody is be as confrontational as possible with heavy mixes of “Oomph!”, “Yeah!” with a side of preachy secularism.

True but you can get out of it. You can dictate your own terms and fight hard, against yourself mostly, to enforce them.

Believe me, I’ve been trying to get out of it since 1st grade. Honestly, I feel like a survivalist in the The Lost World.

You still miss the point that what you had said before did not make sense logically. It wasn’t about you being an abuser or not. In fact, it wasn’t about you. It was about the thesis that people who are not particularly strong in the physical sense are incapable of being abusers, which is not true.

Uh… my original statement was simply about why people could see me as an abuser. However, I then added the strength part in order to relay the overall message of ‘if you knew me, you’d realize I’m the last person to be like that.’

Nobody is equating you to anything when he points out a mistake in your logic.

I was speaking generally about most of the responses I’ve been getting (not yours though).

 

[Crescentinus]

Sorry for wedging in but:

Either you’re attracted or not. The rest doesn’t really matter in a normal situation.

True.

Not people’s business. And you aren’t much older than a teenager yourself, if at all, are you?

I am and yet I do not want to be accused of pedophilia by dating someone younger than me.

You can’t be asking people about a random quote from a random anime. That one, single anime shouldn’t be so defining to you (in fact, it should be marginal). You’re presuming a lot if you’re presuming that e.g. Debora or other folks know what you’re talking about.

Mea culpa. I was trying to show you and the others that there are people who tend to put fetishes on flat-chestedness these days.

I can assure you women don’t walk around wanting you to be attracted to them. Chances are they don’t even think of you while looking at you. This is normal among humans, actually. We start thinking about others like that when we enter into more personal interaction with them.

I just don’t want to be forced by idiots to date people that I do not want to. Sadly, I find a lot of those in certain places hence me trying to avoid them.

And nobody is telling you to be attracted to something or somebody you aren’t attracted to.

Sadly, there are hence me becoming rather worried.

There is no army of gay people or gay sympathisers out to get you, relax. Yes, in some countries you can get in trouble for saying in public that homosexual activity is immoral. No, nobody is forcing you to date people of the same sex as you are, or transvestites. Gay people are already far and between, let alone transsexuals.

Should I show you that pic where a pro-abort was telling people to outlaw heterosexuality? Even though heterophobes are in the fringes of homosexism, they are slowly growing in number. I’ve seen them on certain sites such as deviantART, fanfiction.net and even on FaceBook.

Thinking fast is a useful ability and marks a high intelligence. But at the same time, more is required of intelligent people and your thinking should also be accurate, not only fast. Think logically, double check, consider if it really makes sense before you make a claim. For example the claim about the West really didn’t make sense (it was way off base).

I hope that my claim is wrong.

Nobody is forcing you.

Again, I hope that you’re right.

Just find the right reasons for your previous situation, not imaginary ones. And rational standards for the future. ‘Rational’ includes your subjective attraction which can be inexplicable but none of the, ‘flat-chested women are out there to hurt me and they’re already plotting,’ nonsense. You’re too old for that.

Don’t worry, I’ve already went beyond that stage.

Look outside the anime fanbase then.

Not very easy since anime fans can best understand my love of anime.

 

[Crescentinus]

I hear you. Men who talk like that are making themselves look very shallow.
Imagine women on line talking about not wanting to be with a guy who had a small you-know-what. Thats the talk of the flesh and the world who is steeped in sin.
Femininity and masculinity is something much grander and deeper than the size of peoples first and secondary genitals. Frankly I think people who talk casually about womens breast sizes lack in the virtue of chastity… They should be happy if any good woman would ever love them truly. Love is a privilege.

Only shallow porn-generation men come on line and talk about women with a flat chest. I wonder if most people even know what a normal female breast size is anymore.
They should educate themselves by looking at movies from the 80s where the push-up porn stuff had not yet become the mainstream.

Mea culpa.
I’m just not attracted towards flat-chested women.
/runs

 

[GraceDK]

Mea culpa.
I’m just not attracted towards flat-chested women.
/runs

If you reduce attractiveness to breatsize, then don’t be surprised if you get a woman with a big chest but little brains, because I don’t think a clever and good Catholic girl would be confortable around a man who spoke like you do.

Some girls say they want to experience with men, find a man sho is very good at sex, and they can’t imagine marrying someone without having had sex with severel and choosing the man who is most able to satisfy her in bed.
To be honest I see your comment as resembling this worldly mindset.

I feel sorry for your male fellow Catholics here. You must embarrass them greatly.

 

[Crescentinus]

If you reduce attractiveness to breatsize, then don’t be surprised if you get a woman with a big chest but little brains, because I don’t think a clever and good Catholic girl would be confortable around a man who spoke like you do.

Some girls say they want to experience with men, find a man sho is very good at sex, and they can’t imagine marrying someone without having had sex with severel and choosing the man who is most able to satisfy her in bed.
To be honest I see your comment as resembling this worldly mindset.

I feel sorry for your male fellow Catholics here. You must embarrass them greatly.

Actually, I don’t reduce myself to that. If anything, it’s a minor thing as far as attraction preference is concerned. Again, mea culpa.

 

[CesarAugustus]

Where I live, it’s a little different. There are flat-chested women who either look more masculine than feminine (my first ex-girlfriend, for one) and then there are flat-chested women who look younger than their actual age. Hence me being very careful. Where I live, padded bras are used not as a means to warm the chest (as the case in the lands where there are temperate and sub-temperate climates) but for looking pretty.

But it seems that you are paying way too much attention to that.

Blessings!

 

[Crescentinus]

But it seems that you are paying way too much attention to that.

Blessings!

I’m just careful.

 

[vera_dicere]

I don’t really have a lot of time for obnoxious jerks.

But guys have to take some ownership as well. Seems all the “nice” guys are only interested in skinny, pretty girls. Us fat chicks don’t really have a chance.

I’m 30 and have never had a boyfriend, despite having met many guys, online and offline, who thought I was fantastic in message, email and phone. But as soon as they meet me, that’s it, I never hear from them again.

And I shower EVERYDAY!!

 

[chevalier]

Yeah well, I’m somewhat forced to hang with trolls who abuse the tl;dr counter (if you can even use it to describe their lame-wit responses). I’m just frustrated, sorry. =.=

Happens to everybody.

Well guess what, you’ve just described a battle that’s been raging for 10+ years in my poor old soul. It really infuriates me that the narcs in my life think I’m just being dramatic, that my whole little underdog story is overrated. That’s how much ego I’m drowning under right now. There’s no compassion, no pity, and everyone thinks that the best way to help somebody is be as confrontational as possible with heavy mixes of “Oomph!”, “Yeah!” with a side of preachy secularism.

I see. Well, for one, constructive approach is always better than oomph and overbearing attitudes. But constructive approach means pretty much all of us living in today’s world need to get tougher. We have no wars, at least none we’d need to participate in or witness first-hand. We don’t battle povery every day. Makes us soft and sometimes worried out of proportion over small details that people with real problems (e.g. wondering if they will have anything to eat tomorrow or how to make it past the border) wouldn’t even notice.

Believe me, I’ve been trying to get out of it since 1st grade. Honestly, I feel like a survivalist in the The Lost World.

Well, we’ve got ourselves to start with, this is what I meant. We can’t change everybody, but we can refuse to follow the ‘look out for number one’ creed. And get a bit tougher to complain less and handle more.

Uh… my original statement was simply about why people could see me as an abuser. However, I then added the strength part in order to relay the overall message of ‘if you knew me, you’d realize I’m the last person to be like that.’

Well, the content you intended to convey is so important to you that you just seem to be oblivious to the formal-logic side, i.e. how the words add up when you take them at face value as a bystander who is not in your brain. This is why it’s very important, apart from expressing ourselves, to consider the recipients we’re reaching. And, obviously, the typical, default meaning of the words or structures we use.

Let me give you an example: husband and wife live in a beige house. She wants to paint it pink. He says, ‘no way, don’t paint the walls pink!’ She replies, ‘how cruel of you to expect me always to live in beige walls’ (suppose she really hates beige). Or the famous minority fallacy: just give a single [insert minority of your choice] a bit of rough treatment (possibly well deserved) and what you hear is, ‘are you saying that all [insert minority] are [insert whatever you told him]?’ People commit a metric ton of logical fallacies every minute without realising. This is basically what happens if they are in a combative mood and/or particularly emotional and perhaps a bit insecure about a certain point. This is why logic is so damn important. It’s kinda difficult too, at higher levels. I got a C at university.

I was speaking generally about most of the responses I’ve been getting (not yours though).

Yeah, no worries. If anything I say gives you trouble just let me know where it goes bad.*

 

[Crescentinus]

I don’t really have a lot of time for obnoxious jerks.

But guys have to take some ownership as well. Seems all the “nice” guys are only interested in skinny, pretty girls. Us fat chicks don’t really have a chance.

I’m 30 and have never had a boyfriend, despite having met many guys, online and offline, who thought I was fantastic in message, email and phone. But as soon as they meet me, that’s it, I never hear from them again.

And I shower EVERYDAY!!

I can relate to that. A lot of the “nice girls” want skinny prettyboys.
Also, what is wrong with dating a fat woman? I am guy, and I do not get the aversion.

 

[Crescentinus]

Please understand that as far as physical attraction is concerned, I am taking this from the artistic perspective. And yes, I believe in proportions as far as aesthetics are concerned. As a whole in regards to relationships, that is only a small part.

 

[Debora123]

This has become the strangest, lowest CAF thread I’ve ever seen. And that’s saying something.

I’m out.

 

[CesarAugustus]

I can relate to that. A lot of the “nice girls” want skinny prettyboys.
Also, what is wrong with dating a fat woman? I am guy, and I do not get the aversion.

Hahaha, over here skinny boys have it difficult unless they are extroverts, or very stylish or have a exceptionally pretty face. Muscular and athletic types are the favourites of women.

Blessings!

 

[Crescentinus]

This has become the strangest, lowest CAF thread I’ve ever seen. And that’s saying something.

I’m out.

Sorry about earlier. I should have explained my position in a better manner. /sweatdrop