Why I left the Catholic Church

[Disheartened]

Thanks Pete for the positive response. Yes I’ve been hurt by Catholics and that’s affected my view. Probably I shouldn’t have come to this site to air my grievance since obviously I’ve left myself open to attack here. People trying to promote their faith should not jump all over someone just because they disagree with them. It only serves to confirm my point of view.

This site probably doesn’t do much to promote the faith, from what I’ve read here. There are alot of critical people who post here and rip other people to shreds over what seem to me to be minor matters.

 

[kevb]

Whatever you do, please don’t leave the Church as a reaction to the poor behavior of its members. As someone said, “The Catholic Church is not a museum of saints, but a hospital for sinners.” We’re human beings, not angels. You made a good point about the behavior of people on these forums, myself included. I’ve recently come to realize that the things I say in ignorance on this site could negatively influence people I’ll never meet. That idea really scared me, and I’ve now promised myself to no longer involve myself in argumentative topics. Especially ones where I very well could be wrong. Just pray more about it and talk to a priest about your concerns.

 

[Atk_Aheeni]

I recently left the Catholic Church. The reason for this decision is many.

For one thing, I found out many things by reading on the internet on sites like this and others. I found out that Catholics are as unhappy and mean as I thought they were. I used to think it was just me, but then I went online and found out what people really thought. I was also treated unkindly by Catholics online.

I saw the hypocrisy of the Church. For instance, the Church has changed it’s official stance on a number of major topics to adapt to the times. They used to forbid usury many years ago, till they noticed that the Jews were taking over the banking and that they needed to get in on the action. Now the Church embraces usuary, in fact there is a Catholic Credit Union. Churches often go into debt to remodel.

The Church used to despise the Jews and participated and sometimes instigated anti-Semitic episodes in Europe throughout the ages. Now, the Jews have so much clout in the world that the Church changed it’s stance on the Jews and acts as if they are the greatest group of people in the world, even though the Jews these days don’t even follow their religion any more like they used to.

The Church claims to advocate for the poor, but then they forbid birth control and pretend that having more children doesn’t cause problems for poor people, when in fact that’s not true. The Church is loud about that, but turns a blind eye at the fact that wealthy contributers use birth control.

The Church makes a big deal about it’s own communion being the only real one and the best one. Meanwhile, the Church is not even a functional Christian community. It’s clergy have alot of emotional problems, and there is so much disagreement on liturgy, politics, and a million other things.

There are alot of other things that have finally driven me away, including the fact that my own parish is a dysfunctional wreck.

I use to think like that bieng Im native and I am pretty close to my heritage and had some bad verbal exchanges about bieng a proud native and a good catholic together or maybe it was my grandmothers generation for getting abused for speaking there language and dancing and singing there songs. In my generation you can still see the effects of what christians have done to the native people in general. Although you will find a big number of us dont blame the church or christ. Its easy to find an excuse to leave your church its harder to stay in it to make a positive present. I use to be the last person you would ever see on a forum like this or a church. I no longer look at the church as i once did for the things that happen to my people and fammily and realise a few bad seeds doesnt define christ nor does it represent the church. It is easy to abandon things when times get hard although all of what i said may make no diffrence in what you think of the Catholic church or christians in general. My oppinion is coming from a guy that was in your shoes and all i can say is stay strong and weed out whats bad jesus forgave why cant we?

 

[SteakNPotatoes]

The Church used to despise the Jews and participated and sometimes instigated anti-Semitic episodes in Europe throughout the ages. Now, the Jews have so much clout in the world that the Church changed it’s stance on the Jews and acts as if they are the greatest group of people in the world, even though the Jews these days don’t even follow their religion any more like they used to.

This part disturbed me the most. Are you saying you prefer a Church that despises Jews?

There are lots of reasons to leave the Church (I can fill you in on a few, since I left a couple years ago myself), but leaving because it’s not hard enough on the Jews? Well, that just takes my breath away.

 

[Marauder]

Thanks Pete for the positive response. Yes I’ve been hurt by Catholics and that’s affected my view. Probably I shouldn’t have come to this site to air my grievance since obviously I’ve left myself open to attack here. People trying to promote their faith should not jump all over someone just because they disagree with them. It only serves to confirm my point of view.

This site probably doesn’t do much to promote the faith, from what I’ve read here. There are alot of critical people who post here and rip other people to shreds over what seem to me to be minor matters.

Sorry to hear that some Catholics have hurt you. But you can not judge the Catholic church from an online community. First there is no guarentee that the people you are talking to are in fact Catholic. There are people on here that claim to be Catholic and in reality they aren’t Catholic and then mislead people.

There is also a lot of misunderstandings. Since you can not tell inflection, tone, etc. What sometimes is seen as people questioning things is misinterpreted as anger, abuse, etc.

You will find many people on here trying to communicate, explain the faith, etc. But like any community whether it be online or offline you will find bad apples in with the good apples.

 

[Mickey]

but some of these other answers confirm my belief that Catholics are full of cruelty for one another and the Eucharist doesn’t help people in any way to love their fellow humans.

Greetings my friend. You must carefully read over your posts before you submit them. You may not realize it due to your anguish, but much of what you write can insult the devout Catholic individual. You complain of bad treatmeant and mean-spirited responses-- but have you used discernment when writing your own posts? Some people may get defensive because they construe what you are saying as an attack on their faith. Your bolded words above are one example. You surely realize how the devout Catholic feels about the Blessed Sacrament–yet you set forth a claim that indicates it does not help people! Frankly, this is offensive. I beg you–be more discerning and gentle before you submit your posts. Thank you.

May the peace and love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be with you always.

Mickey

 

[Disheartened]

I wasn’t saying I prefer a church that despises Jews at all. I was saying that the Church is inconsistant and changes it’s teachings for expediency.

Thanks for the replies. I need to get going I have alot of things to do today, take care.

 

[DesertAscetic]

For one thing, I found out many things by reading on the internet on sites like this and others. I found out that Catholics are as unhappy and mean as I thought they were. I used to think it was just me, but then I went online and found out what people really thought. I was also treated unkindly by Catholics online.

What does them being happy have to do with the theology being correct or not? Do you go to Church just “to get” something pleasurable out of it, or do you go because it is right, and good, and true? I think the Bible has a lot to say about that mindset, and it isn’t very approving. If the moral precepts you condemn the Church according to are good, why not be a saint yourself and inspire and transform those around you? You fault the Church for not inspiring you; for not giving you a warm feeling in the belly, yet you offer no inspiration back. The Church really only has one duty–to dispense to you the means for your salvation (the Eucharist and the true doctrines & sacraments that supports it.) [If I worded this incorrectly, someone please correct me.]

Does your local parish no longer offer sacraments? Why not do everyone a favor and leave their salvation between God and themselves?

The Church used to despise the Jews and participated and sometimes instigated anti-Semitic episodes in Europe throughout the ages. Now, the Jews have** so much clout in the world** that the Church changed it’s stance on the Jews and acts as if they are the greatest group of people in the world, even though the Jews these days don’t even follow their religion any more like they used to.

Would you like the Church better if it hated those people that “think they are so great even though they don’t follow their religion and go around pushing the world around with their clout”??? If you go around talking like this, I can see why maybe you are met with a little bit of anger. Ever stop to ponder if that anger you see projected back at you might be righteous and just? I hope you don’t really feel/think this way.

The Church makes a big deal about it’s own communion being the only real one and the best one.** Meanwhile, the Church is not even a functional Christian community.** It’s clergy have alot of emotional problems, and there is so much disagreement on liturgy, politics, and a million other things.

If the doctrine is good and true and the state of the Church is as dire as you present it, AND considering your stated charism for discernment of spirits and natural aptitude for strategic organizational management, why not consider Holy Orders yourself?

What would be the more loving response: to use the talents God gave you to glorify God’s mission, or to run away, sit on your tuffet, and lament that no one is good enough to fix it?

~Shaunna

 

[buffalo]

Thanks Pete for the positive response. Yes I’ve been hurt by Catholics and that’s affected my view. Probably I shouldn’t have come to this site to air my grievance since obviously I’ve left myself open to attack here. People trying to promote their faith should not jump all over someone just because they disagree with them. It only serves to confirm my point of view.

This site probably doesn’t do much to promote the faith, from what I’ve read here. There are alot of critical people who post here and rip other people to shreds over what seem to me to be minor matters.

True Christian charity demands fraternal correction with love.

It cannot be:

truth without love
or
love without truth

But,

Truth with love.

Many times we fail at that. But sometimes the hearer doesn’t want to face truth. What we hear is based on the disposition of the receiver.

Please be open to the truth. Please forgive our failings.

 

[carol_marie]

I am sorry if you’ve felt hurt or attacked by the posts today.

I will pray for you.

 

[1ke]

I think the Mennonites and Amish are the true models of Christian communities.

Get to know them personally, as I have. You will find they are no different than any other group of human beings-- they squabble and fight and have bad-blood between different people and different communities.

They are an absolutely wonderful people who aspire to do what they believe Christ is calling them to do. But, I’ve met good and bad Amish individuals through my dealings with them here in rural Wisconsin. They are not all alike and they are by no means perfect.

In fact, several Amish brothers who lived only 15 miles from me are currently serving prison sentences for repeatedly raping their young sisters.

**You are fooling only yourself if you think sin is limited to any one group of people or one time in history. **

I hope you will mature, reflect, and come back to the Truth someday. Sin abounds, but Christ triumphs.

 

[Roman_Catholic_1]

Hello Disheartened

Sorry to hear about the trouble you have ran into inside the church. The sad thing is that sometimes people leave the church and only then do they realize the peace and the joy they had in it. The church will still welcome you back whenever you decide to come home.

Yes I’ve been hurt by Catholics and that’s affected my view.

Sorry to hear this. Yes it is hard to have a positive outlook on any religion when you have been hurt the the people in it.

Probably I shouldn’t have come to this site to air my grievance since obviously I’ve left myself open to attack here.

I dont think anyone is attacking you and I think it was a great thing that you came to this site. I hope you decide to stick around.

People trying to promote their faith should not jump all over someone just because they disagree with them.

This is a Catholic forum. There are going to be people who will promote our faith. Sorry you feel that people have jumped on you.

This site probably doesn’t do much to promote the faith, from what I’ve read here.

No this site does promote the Catholic faith and it does it well. I have had a great deal of problems with my fiance’s father and these people have opened up there arms, offered their prayers and helped me in dealing with him. I am new convert to Catholicism and these things, little as they may be, were not lost on me.

There are alot of critical people who post here and rip other people to shreds over what seem to me to be minor matters

Its just that no Catholic here would consider leaving the Church a minor matter. Being critical is a human quality, not a Catholic one.

Sorry to hear all of this Disheartened I really hope you decide to stick around.

God Bless

 

[heisenburg]

Quick Comment…

Disheartened, i understand why you can be frustrated. There is a great deal of sin amongst the members of the CC. However, this si true anywhere you. There are a few things i would like you toconsider before making the jump.

1. It is a sin for a catholic not to go to church on sunday. Its not ussually considered a sin in protostant churches. this is one of the few teachings that noncatichized(sp) catholics are aware of. The result, many catholics that would have other wise have not gone to church in protestant churches, do go to church in catholic churches. The result, you ahve a much higher percentage of people that claim to be christian in church, but have no idea what it means. If you looked at the members of a church, and not attendence, you will find those attitudes are pretty consistant across the board. You simply see more of it in the CC because of the reasons I mentioned above.
2. Judging an organization based on its worste memebers is not exactly the best way to understand what that organization actually believes. This is an accross the board statement, not jsut the CC. We all sin. Any church that claims its members are free of sin is lying.

third, and most important, (please understand I am not judging you) When someone is “church hoping” the focus of the persons theology is no longer on god, but on the you. There are many places in scripture where we are told we should do everything we can to glorify god in all our actions. This means everything we should do should point to god. Church hoping when things get rough means your actions no longer point to god, but to you and your discomfort. Understand I am not belittling your discomfort, so please forgive me if you beleive i am. As a christian, we are obligated to try and change the problems we see within our own parrish not by jumping, but by standing up within the church and saying this needs to be fixed. Start by learning what the church teaches on various areas you have issues with. If the teachings do not match what you see, then call them to account.

Think of it another way. if you were unknowingly doing something wrong, would you want your friends to abandon you, or tell you. By changing to a differant denom, you are leaving in a time when maybe, jsut maybe, you are what your church needs.

Simply ask your self this… By leaving and not trying to help if there truely is a problem, are your actions 1) pointing to what god wants? or 2) pointing to what you want.

You will be in my prayers.

 

[RCCDefender]

Sorry to hear that some Catholics have hurt you. But you can not judge the Catholic church from an online community. First there is no guarentee that the people you are talking to are in fact Catholic. There are people on here that claim to be Catholic and in reality they aren’t Catholic and then mislead people.

There is also a lot of misunderstandings. Since you can not tell inflection, tone, etc. What sometimes is seen as people questioning things is misinterpreted as anger, abuse, etc.

You will find many people on here trying to communicate, explain the faith, etc. But like any community whether it be online or offline you will find bad apples in with the good apples.

I want to second this! What is it that is so dysfunctional about your parish? I used to go to a parish where I saw a lot of abuses and where I received advice that led me to sin (or, in some cases to continue to sin) rather than away from sin. After I finally opened my eyes to what was going on around me I was really hurt. I even questioned my faith for a while. However, I soon realized that there was no way I could walk away from the church Christ established, the church He promised the gates of Hell would not prevail against. Part of my heart still has a longing and a little bitterness for my old parish and my old priest, but I left and came to a new parish where I don’t have to worry about those things anymore. Do you really think there’s no way you’d consider staying?

 

[runandsew]

I am sorry to hear this, I will pray that you find the what you are seeking.

I have to say that everything you said about the Church is the results of sinners in the Church, Peter Kreeft once said that a Saint is not the opposite of a sinner, there are only saved sinners, and unsaved sinners.

The Church does a lot of good, but if you only look for the bad you will find it.

As for being against birth control and the poor.
I am sorry, but birth control is a sin, and it is not the answer.
The problem with the poor is not because they have too many children, but because of greed. Jesus told us to give alms,not to stop having children. The world has more that enough money and food for the poor, but it does not get to them because of greed.

You can group all Catholics together, not every Catholic is mean, If you are looking for what Catholics are like, well the internet forums is not the place to find out.
You might join my wife at migrant camp in the summer helping out the migrant workers, there you might find out just how mean Catholics are.
You might try to visit Mothers Theresa order, there I don’t think you will find a bunch of mean Catholic nuns.

You might try visiting a Birthright office, and see the mean catholics helping out women in crisis.

If the church needs reform to be more loving then it needs to begin with you. The Church needs to reform from within not without.

There is no perfect Church, but if you do find one don’t join it or you will ruin it. ( don’t take this personally,I mean by this, that we are all sinners)

 

[Gilbert_Keith]

Disheartened

Mikey gave a nice answer, devoid of disdain, but some of these other answers confirm my belief that Catholics are full of cruelty for one another and the Eucharist doesn’t help people in any way to love their fellow humans.

Yes, Catholics can be cruel. But a world without Catholics would be more cruel. Catholics at large still oppose gay marriage. They oppose the killing of the unborn. That doesn’t mean Catholics are not sinful and not living up to their best potential. It only means that if they are so bad as Catholics, could they be so much worse if they were not Catholics? Fifty years ago the Catholic Church was looked up to and respected even by Protestants. Today that is not so true as then. But then Protestants don’t have so much to brag about either. The world is in a moral freefall. People who are disheartened are allowing themselves to be part of that freefall by the fact that they have lost heart and will no longer stand up for the ideals of Christ and his holy Church.

The devil would like to have us all by the throat … but his grasp is most firm on those who have ceased to fight.

There is nothing more mean-spirited than killing the unborn. Would you like for your father or son one of those physicians whose daily routine is to rip the unborn from their mother’s womb?

 

[Kay_Cee]

There’s a billboard in my town advertising a Protestant Church. In big letters it reads, “Looking for the friendliest church in town?”

Every time I drive by this billboard, I want to shout, “I’m not looking for the friendliest church! I want the Church that teaches God’s truth!”

Friendliness is great. It’s great if a parish has it. *But that’s just frosting on the cake. *I want God’s truths. I want that solid base. After all, my salvation is at stake.

I understand where you’re coming from. When I was in the eighth grade, my teacher, a nun, singled me out for humiliation, day after day. She used to scream at me in front of the other students. She’d be so angry she’d be red in the face and shaking. (This was in response to me doing something like saying, "Excuse me, sister . . . " when I wanted to ask a question.)

But leave the Church? Leave Jesus in the Eucharist? No way! How dare I judge 2,000 years of the Catholic Church based on the misbehavior of one person! Instead I’m looking at Catholics like St. Augustine, St. Francis of Assisi, and St. Bernardette (and she put up with a nun who was always on her case too!)

Look for the Church that has the fullness of God’s truth. And if there’s a problem with some of its members misbehaving, you be the shining beacon in the midst of that. You be the one others look to as a role model.

In other words, be a saint.

 

[Explorer]

I’ve been reading this thread. I just want to encourage the OP. Maybe just take a break for a while. It can be discouraging and disheartening. Stay off internet sites if they trouble you because they do open you up to unkind attacks by thoughtless people and they aren’t for the faint of heart. The Church has all kinds of people who have all kinds of faults. Some are even mentally unbalanced. Don’t be discouraged! God loves you and Jesus is watching out for you.

Some of your complaints are valid points worth considering. Lots of people disagree with some things in the Church, such as birth control. Everyone is at a different stage of their spiritual journey and can only do so much due to different stresses in life. Yes, there are some uncompassionate people who won’t nurture you, that’s discouraging.

Just give yourself some time, okay? Don’t let the negative people get you down, okay?

 

[Mommyof02green]

I found out that Catholics are as unhappy and mean as I thought they were. I used to think it was just me, but then I went online and found out what people really thought. I was also treated unkindly by Catholics online.

May I suggest the book: “The Search for Happiness Four levels of Emotional and Spiritual Growth” by Oscar Lukefahr. It has helped me! I can honestly say I’m a “happy” person…better yet a Happy Catholic-Christian. I don’t choose to be a hermit and hide my light under a bushel basket. I choose to show my light to the world. (Mathew 5:13-16) I’m sorry to hear that you were treat unkind by other Christians (namely Catholic-Christians). However Christ did say that it won’t be easy to be a light. That there will be some that will hate you. It hurts when we come across hate, but it hurts 1000 times more when it comes from those that are suppose to be Christian (Catholic-Christian) like you. Thank God for His mercy and forgiveness! (Right?)

The Church has changed it’s official stance … They used to forbid usury many years ago, till they noticed that the Jews were taking over the banking and that they needed to get in on the action. Now the Church embraces usuary, in fact there is a Catholic Credit Union.

I must admit that my vocabulary is limited. So I looked up what the word “usury” meant.

This is what I found: “The practice of lending money and charging the borrower interest, especially at an exorbitant or illegally high rate.” source: www.dictionary.com Are you suggesting that the Catholic Church is charging people an illegally high rate of interest on loans?? Are you suggesting that the Catholic Church is encouraging its member to do the same??? If so do you have “prove” of this???

The Church used to despise the Jews and participated and sometimes instigated anti-Semitic episodes in Europe throughout the ages. Now, the Jews have so much clout in the world that the Church changed it’s stance on the Jews and acts as if they are the greatest group of people in the world, even though the Jews these days don’t even follow their religion any more like they used to.

I don’t have much to say other then I thought we are to love our neighbor as ourselves.

The Church claims to advocate for the poor, but then they forbid birth control and pretend that having more children doesn’t cause problems for poor people, when in fact that’s not true. The Church is loud about that, but turns a blind eye at the fact that wealthy contributers use birth control.

How does the pill work? see: goaskalice.columbia.edu/06. Yes its true that it seem that the Church turns blind eye when there are those that say they are Catholic and does things that are not Catholic. However, remember we all will be judge on what we do and what we fail to do. (we say that at the Mass, and Scripture said the same things) The Church does Approve NFP: When couples understand the methods and are motivated to follow them, NFP is up to 99% successful in spacing or limiting births. source: usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/information.shtml

So besides having a 99% effect of spacing and limiting births what is another benefit to NFP: “In NFP both spouses are taught to understand the nature of fertility and work with it, either to plan a pregnancy or to avoid a pregnancy. Couples who use NFP soon learn that they have a shared responsibility for family planning. Husbands are encouraged to “tune into” their wives’ cycles and both spouses are encouraged to speak openly and frankly about their sexual desires and their ideas on family size.” source:
usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/information.shtml

Do Couples who use NFP have less sex than the average American? NO, it about the same or more. Most people most of the time are not engaged in sexual activity. If couples who practice NFP were to engage in intercourse on all the days when abstinence is not required for spacing births, they would be doing so at a rate almost twice the national average! see web-page: usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/myths.shtml

I have found all of this to be true about NFP. Thank God!

The Church makes a big deal about it’s own communion being the only real one and the best one. Meanwhile, the Church is not even a functional Christian community. It’s clergy have alot of emotional problems, and there is so much disagreement on liturgy, politics, and a million other things.

I know it’s hard when we all are a bunch of sinners! Sin = dysfunction.

There are alot of other things that have finally driven me away, including the fact that my own parish is a dysfunctional wreck.

Some parishes are better then others! Thank God I will ONLY be judged on my actions on what I do and what I fail to do.

 

[cathgal]

Thanks Pete for the positive response. Yes I’ve been hurt by Catholics and that’s affected my view. Probably I shouldn’t have come to this site to air my grievance since obviously I’ve left myself open to attack here. People trying to promote their faith should not jump all over someone just because they disagree with them. It only serves to confirm my point of view.

This site probably doesn’t do much to promote the faith, from what I’ve read here. There are alot of critical people who post here and rip other people to shreds over what seem to me to be minor matters.

Ahhh…another beacon of darkness in a darkened world.

Why not be a light for Christ. Fight against the current !
Don’t whimp out on HIM ! That is what true love is !

Pray more!
Go to eucharistic adoration!
Offer your sufferings to HIM!