Why I left the Catholic Church

[missmydad]

Maybe I’ll make an appointment with the priest to discuss my situation and discontent. The thing is, I’m relatively well off. I didn’t need financial help. We had a very good life insurence policy and now my house is paid off. I’m just emotionally overwhelmed. I don’t have any family to help. The church I go to doesn’t have very many middle aged people active, it’s mostly older women.

Yes, seeing the poor response to my situation really started make me doubt the whole premise of the Church’s claims, such as the real presence, importance of apostolic succession, the Church’s apparant flip flopping of the issues I mentioned and some other ones, I don’t think I mentioned everything, just some things off the top of my head. I don’t really feel like argueing them point by point.

As someone who has suffered severe betrayal (and I don’t use that word lightly) by immediate family, who profess to be practicing Catholics, I understand your frustration with those who abandoned you.
That said, through prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament I discovered that in spite of the loss I endured I am the one who truly has everything I go to daily Mass, Jesus Christ has not hurt me, He has comforted me. And for all the earthly things that my family has that were taken from me, they now have my pity because they have nothing that matters.
In fact, my husband, who is a convert, has blossomed into a new man. While around “self-professed” practicing Catholics, he was no different than the next guy. Now he is surrounded by people who recognize their sinfulness and their dependence on the Eucharist to transform who they are. The Eucharist is not a magic spell, it requires a response. If you find a place for daily Mass, you are more likely to find people who who respond to the grace of the Sacraments.

 

[RCCDefender]

Disheartened,
You waded in and out of my dreams last night and I thought about the pain and anguish you must have been going through. This was before I even read about the tragedy you have experienced. I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t know what I’d do without my husband.

There is a book called Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a difficult read but it may be of some help to you. Mother Teresa went through her own dark night of the soul, too. Her’s lasted for fifty years.

There are two songs that come to mind right now. One is Holy Darkness by John Michael Talbot and the other is Praise YOu in the Storm by Casting Crowns:

R: Holy darkness, blessed night
Heavens answer, hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
we embrace your holy night.

V: I have tried you in the fires of affliction,
I have taught your soul to grieve.
In the barren soil of your loneliness,
There I will plant my seed.
R
V: In the deepest hour of your darkness,
I will give you wealth untold,
When the silence stills your spirit,
will my riches fill your soul.
R

V:I would have thought by now,
God you would have reached down,
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say Amen,
And it’s still rainin’

And as the thunder roars,
I barely hear you whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you!”
And as your mercy falls,
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives,
And takes away.

R: And I’ll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands.
For you are who you are
no matter where I am.
And every tear I cry,
you hold in your hand.
You never left my side,
and though my heart is torn,
I will praise you in this storm.

V:I remember when
I stumbled in the wind.
You heard my cry to you
And raised me up again.
Well, my strength is almost gone.
How can I carry on
If I can’t find you?

And as the thunder roars,
I barely hear you whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you!”
And as your mercy falls,
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives,
And takes away.

R

V: I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
The maker of heaven and earth.
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
The maker of heaven and earth
R

Hope this helps. I’ll keep praying for you.

 

[Lukelion]

Maybe I’ll make an appointment with the priest to discuss my situation and discontent.

Please do this. Make your priest aware.
.

Yes, seeing the poor response to my situation really started make me doubt the whole premise of the Church’s .

When four immediate family members died within a year, I heard nothing from my church. When my friend had an operation, her church came over to paint her house! I was very annoyed until I realized her church only has 30 members. Hard not to miss her. Easier to miss you in a large parish.

My trial has only served to strenghten my relationship with Jesus, not people. He was the only one who stood by me. Jesus is the truth, and I will not settle for only some of the truth. When we pray "and I ask my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord my God, I take that seriously! I realize my parish IS praying for me, and I must do the same.

Lukelion

 

[tequilamac]

Aaaarrrrgh. Over and over again.

You left the Church, disheartened, for one reason only. You, and only you, built your faith on something that was not an article of faith. Try rebuilding your faith on something sensible. Start with what you are required to believe under pain of sin and make sure you knowwhat those are. Everything else is either useful or dust.
One article of faith I see missing in your case is the pure goodness of God. You are trying to put your faith in the goodness of man. The goodness of man is not an article of faith. If you put your faith in the goodness of man, you will always be dashing to the door in any Church. Our faith professes faith in the pure goodness of God. When you get that straight, the behaviors of those around you might sadden you for their sakes, but it will simply not disturb your faith.

 

[Explorer]

Disheartened,
That’s a good idea, go see your priest. Meanwhile ignore the harsh things on this thread that people have said. Most of the posts have been supportive, yes there have been a few here that are embarrassing for me to read as a Catholic, that have totally lacked compassion. But most of them have been supportive. I can see why you’re angry, but like some people said here, people fall short everywhere. Sometimes priests pay more attention to influential parishioners, that’s only human nature.

Don’t be discouraged, you are probably still in shock from your husband being killed like that, plus having to be alone and feeling unhelped by your church. People are weird, plus have their own problems and I agree, Catholic parishes are more impersonal than Protestant ones. That’s something that we can learn from the Protestants, how to be a better community, they seem to do that better than we, we’d be sticking our head in the sand to deny that. That’s why the Vatican 2 tried to rectify that by encouraging stronger church communities. We are a work in progress and this is a weak area that needs improvement.

 

[prv]

I converted after marrying my husband. Unfortunately he died suddenly in a car accident a couple of years ago, I’ve had a stressful time dealing with this and with my 3 kids. My church wasn’t very supportive, that probably contributed to my bitterness and disillusionment. I then started questioning many things. Anyways, I need to go and pick them up at school, thanks.

My condolences on the loss of your husband. May he, and all of us, attain what we ask for, the blessed vision of God and attainment of everlasting life.

 

[DARichards]

Maybe I’ll make an appointment with the priest to discuss my situation and discontent. The thing is, I’m relatively well off. I didn’t need financial help. We had a very good life insurence policy and now my house is paid off. I’m just emotionally overwhelmed. I don’t have any family to help. The church I go to doesn’t have very many middle aged people active, it’s mostly older women.

Yes, seeing the poor response to my situation really started make me doubt the whole premise of the Church’s claims, such as the real presence, importance of apostolic succession, the Church’s apparant flip flopping of the issues I mentioned and some other ones, I don’t think I mentioned everything, just some things off the top of my head. I don’t really feel like argueing them point by point.

Yes, I did feel like coming here to anonymously complain and vent.

Disheartened,

I know that no one can understand your grief and what you are going through. During this time understand that our Lord is the only One who truly understands and can respond to your needs appropriately.

My wife and I went through a similar situation several years ago when we went through the loss of several miscarriages. At the time we were not Catholic, and our Church at the time failed miserably to respond to the needs that we had as we had lost several pregnancies. We were active members of the church as well, it is not as though we were strangers to the church. We left the church for an entirely different reason, however when we left, they didn’t even contact us to find out why we left. I e-mailed the pastor to let him know that we were leaving and he basically said: “good luck, we will miss you.” The fact is however that people don’t always do what they should, when they should. I know that it does effect you, and you should talk with your priest because harboring bitterness and resentment is like “swallowing a cup of arsenic and expecting the other person to die.” It only effects you.

Peace be with you, you are in my prayers,
DARichards

 

[mo3]

I will pray for you and your family. Please try this simple prayer:

Jesus, I trust in you.

 

[copland]

I disagree. Some of the most virulently anti-Jewish periods were part of the middle ages, long after the Christians were being persecuted. And it was the Romans, not the Jews who did the crucifying of Jesus. Did Jews occasionally help to persecute Christians? Probably, when the split came it was probably not pretty. After all, with Paul winning out at the Council of Jerusalem, it probably looked like the Christians were of the hellenizing sort, like the ones in the books of Maccabees.

If you read the Early Church Fathers you will find that many Jews were known to be helpful to the Romans in persecuting Christians. The Church in Smyrna wrote a letter about the martyrdom of their bishop St. Polycarp in the 2nd century about how the Jews joyfully contributed to his execution. Here is a quote:

Then it seemed good to them to cry out with one consent, that Polycarp should be burnt alive. For thus it behooved the vision which was revealed to him in regard to his pillow to be fulfilled, when, seeing it on fire as he was praying, he turned about and said prophetically to the faithful that were with him," I must be burnt alive."

CHAPTER XIII – THE FUNERAL PILE IS ERECTED, This, then, was carried into effect with greater speed than it was spoken, the multitudes immediately gathering together wood and fagots out of the shops and baths; the Jews especially, according to custom, eagerly assisting them in it.

Now I am not anti-Semetic at all, and I do not condone any mistreatment to anyone, whether they be Jewish, Islamic, etc. I am just saying that there has been bad blood and hard feelings among Christians through the centuries about some of the Jews that have directly or indirectly assulted Christians.

And it was the Romans, not the Jews who did the crucifying of Jesus.

Remember, it was the Jewish chief preists and the elders of the people who took counsel together against Jesus in order to put Him to death.(Matt. 27:1) It was also Jews who asked to have Barabbas released and kept shouting concerning our Lord, “Crucify Him!” (Luke 23:17-22) It was Jews who had Stephen martyred in Acts 7. In Acts 2 23, St. Peter spoke to the people of Israel, and he said this, “This same being delivered up, by the determinate counsel and foreknowledge of God, you by the hands of wickedmen have crucified and slain.”

Again, I am not anti-Semetic at all. I am just pointing out that some of the Jews have not always be innocent. They have been known to stab Christians in the back in the past. That is one reason why Christians have not always been pro-Jew.

 

[SPH1]

Many things are tolerated in rich parishioners because they give alto of money to the Church. The church has always pandered to the rich throughout history. Anyways I need to go now, I’ll try and check in later if I can. Just look at how the Kennedy family is put up with, and Bill Gates who supports Planned Parenthood.

I think the Mennonites and Amish are the true models of Christian communities. The Catholic Church has a bunch of neurotic priests, that’s all I saw. I don’t know if it’s because they can’t get married, but I met alot of priests with emotional problems. Look at the sex scandels and homosexuality in the clergy. Something is wrong with that picture.

You’re kidding, right? Anyway, good luck finding the perfect Church (to your view, anyway.)

 

[Michael_Francis]

Please see that all posts remain on topic.

 

[Disheartened]

I want to thank everyone here for the kind PMs. I apologize for my opening post that touched some nerves the wrong way. I didn’t think out the wording of the post too well.

I made an appointment with the priest for tommorrow. I still have some disagreements with some things but I’ll see how tommorrow goes.

Also, I want to say that the posts that softened my heart somewhat on this thread were not the argumentative debating ones. They were a big turn off to me, like rubbing salt in the wounds. Being told that I’m a faithless insulter of the church in huge fonts didn’t do anything to move my heart, but only to harden it. It’s like the old fable of the sun and the wind. They were competing to see who could get the man to remove his coat. The wind blew and blew, but the man just held on tighter than ever. Then the sun came out and shined his warmth and the man removed his coat. The kind posts on this thread were like the sun in the fable, and the harsh posts were like the wind.

 

[Disheartened]

Today I sat and read the bible and drank a beer. Isn’t that a funny combination? I opened it to the story of Jesus who was eating with a tax collector by the name of Levi. Levi gave him a banquet, with a bunch of other tax collectors. The Pharisees complained, but Jesus said that sick people need a physician, that he came not for the righteous but for sinners.

 

[Mommyof02green]

Today I sat and read the bible and drank a beer. Isn’t that a funny combination? I opened it to the story of Jesus who was eating with a tax collector by the name of Levi. Levi gave him a banquet, with a bunch of other tax collectors. The Pharisees complained,** but Jesus said that sick people need a physician, that he came not for the righteous but for sinners**.

AMEN!

The best place I have found “healing” is Confession! Confession is a “Spiritual” ER!!! I’m glad to hear that you are seeing the priest soon. I pray that it goes well.

 

[RCCDefender]

Thinking of you, Disheartened, as you meet with your priest today.

 

[gracelife]

Dear Disheartened,

God bless you.

As humans we fail. Your experiences are your experiences and sometimes they hurt & trouble us.

God’s grace & peace be with you.

 

[Mr_Jullien]

I made an appointment with the priest for tommorrow.

Also, I want to say that the posts that softened my heart somewhat on this thread were not the argumentative debating ones.

You mean like the your initial post?

They were a big turn off to me

As your initial post was to some of the posters here?

Being told that I’m a faithless insulter of the church in huge fonts

didn’t do anything to move my heart, but only to harden it. But that’s exactly what you did, DH. You made blanket statements and accusations toward the Church, Her clergy and Her members.
If someone did that to you, how would you respond? You have to look at both sides of the coin, DH.
Not everyone is going to respond to what you said, in your original post, favorably. Re-read it.

I found out that Catholics are as unhappy and mean as I thought they were. I used to think it was just me, but then I went online and found out what people really thought. I was also treated unkindly by Catholics online.

I saw the hypocrisy of the Church. For instance, the Church has changed it’s official stance on a number of major topics to adapt to the times. They used to forbid usury many years ago, till they noticed that the Jews were taking over the banking and that they needed to get in on the action. Now the Church embraces usuary, in fact there is a Catholic Credit Union. Churches often go into debt to remodel.

The Church used to despise the Jews and participated and sometimes instigated anti-Semitic episodes in Europe throughout the ages. Now, the Jews have so much clout in the world that the Church changed it’s stance on the Jews and acts as if they are the greatest group of people in the world, even though the Jews these days don’t even follow their religion any more like they used to.

The Church claims to advocate for the poor, but then they forbid birth control and pretend that having more children doesn’t cause problems for poor people, when in fact that’s not true. The Church is loud about that, but turns a blind eye at the fact that wealthy contributers use birth control.

The Church makes a big deal about it’s own communion being the only real one and the best one. Meanwhile, the Church is not even a functional Christian community. It’s clergy have alot of emotional problems, and there is so much disagreement on liturgy, politics, and a million other things.

There are alot of other things that have finally driven me away, including the fact that my own parish is a dysfunctional wreck.

  It's quite insulting to some of the Catholics who read and posted on this thread.

You said you were “reaching out”.
If that’s the case, then let me ask you this: Would you show the priest you’re going to see today your initial post?
If you did, how do you think he’d react based on that post, alone? (That is, before you explained to him how hurt you were with your parish’s indifference to your pain and suffering.)
Think about it, DH. You wanted to be treated with fairness.
Well, don’t you think Catholics, the priesthood and the Catholic Church, as a whole, should receive the same fairness you wanted?
And as a side note, regarding your issue with “huge fonts”: Not everyone has perfect eyesight.
Some of us require a font size that’s larger than the standard 2.

The kind posts on this thread were like the sun in the fable, and

the harsh posts were like the wind.

As was your initial post on this thread, DH.
Blaming those of us who defend our Holy Church, Her priests and members, and most especially the Blessed Sacrament (Holy Communion); saying that it only served to “harden your heart”, is just plain wrong. Tell me; what kind of reaction did you really expect with your initial accusations and condemnations?

They were a big turn off to me, like rubbing salt in the wounds. Being told that I’m a faithless insulter of the church in huge fonts didn’t do anything to move my heart, but only to harden it.

Instead of scorning us and focusing on “font size” and what you perceive as negative feedback, try looking at it through the eyes of those of us who love Christ and His Holy Church – Her Beautiful Teachings and Traditions.

Treat others as you would have them treat you, DH.

PAX,

Jullien

 

[Mr_Jullien]

P.S. – I pray your priest is able to help you sort through your concerns with some of the Church’s Teachings.

With regards to Her members… well, as it’s been stated on this thread, more than once, It’s made up of fallible human beings; as are all other churches. There’s no escaping it. We’re all sinners. That’s why we call Christ, Savior.

Be well.

PAX,

Jullien

 

[TotalTop]

Mr Jullien,
Your post is an example of the reason why I left the Church of my youth many years ago. I find more love in the gay community than I ever found growing up Catholic. If yours is a example of Christian charity, I can do without it.

 

[Mommyof02green]

Mr Jullien,
Your post is an example of the reason why I left the Church of my youth many years ago. I find more love in the gay community than I ever found growing up Catholic. If your’s is a example of Christian charity, I can do without it.

:bible1:You are in my prayers!: