Why is the Catholic Church so unfriendly to singles?

[Norseman82]

Many of those people use the church’s parochial school if there is one

I think that this is an important point. If the parish runs a school, much of the parish life revolves around that, and most adult parishoners, if they send (or sent) their children to that school, will have much of their social interactions with fellow parishoners based on that. Many of the fundraisers are also centered around the school.

Example: when Market Day was in existence, the pickup for the orders was during the school day (which only benefitted those who had kids in school and/or did not work during the day, which not only affects singles who work 9-5 but also ANYONE who works 9-5). Fortunately, I was able to find an alternate pickup window one hour on a Saturday morning.

Again, this is something not unique to singles. We do live in a 24/7 society (meaning that people will work all sorts of odd hours), but our rectories are not open 24/7, and with the priest shortage it will only get worse. This adds an additional challenge in scheduling parish activities and administrative services.

 

[MaryT777]

I am single and joined another Parish. They had a retreat for women and I went and met 6 people who I will see at Mass. I am also fortunate to be able to attend daily Mass at this parish a few times a week and I have always loved going to daily Mass for you often meet the same people there and can at least have a friendly face to know and chat with briefly.

 

[MaryT777]

As a single person in the Church, I have realized even talking briefly with a married man in the social donuts/coffee after Mass line will give me dirty looks from spouses as I am the local divorcee. It can be completely frustrating.

I am simply at coffee and donuts to meet and socialize briefly with others. Also, if you are a single woman forget ever inviting a priest over for dinner even if you have children that will be present as it brings potential scandal to the priest. OMG what’s that priest doing with that single woman and her children.

That said, when you make the effort it can be done as a single person to meet people in the church via such simple things as coffee and donuts, retreats, Daily Mass if possible, and other church events.

I do believe it’s much more difficult to be single in the Church than when I was married. That said, I believe that’s fine with me as families are the focus for more people are there with families.

I feel blessed to state I have become over 3 Churches very welcomed by slowly getting involved and staying far away from an married man in the donut line.

 

[DarkLight]

I have to say though, sometime between 25 and 30 I realized my age range for socialization really broadened out. I think during high school and college we get more used to being social only with those within a few years of us.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I am simply at coffee and donuts to meet and socialize briefly with others. Also, if you are a single woman forget ever inviting a priest over for dinner even if you have children that will be present as it brings potential scandal to the priest. OMG what’s that priest doing with that single woman and her children.

I see zero minus zero things wrong with this. All the priests I’ve known, from a priest who was only 2 years older than me to one who was 60 years older than me, have this policy. Priests have to ensure that there is no scandal and ensure no favoritism appears. It has always been this way. It is not new.

I was single for a decade. There were many times when it would be nice to have the priest for dinner–and convenient for both of us. However, it never happened. Both priests I mentioned came over for many a small dinner party, but it was never, ever us alone. My friend is a single mom. Same thing. Often I’d go over to her house or the priest would bring a widower who could also use a meal with him.

I’ve had up to 3 priests and a seminarian at my house. I am delighted when they can come over. But I would NEVER put them in a position that could cause scandal. Not when I was single, not now that I am married.

My husband will be traveling for work. We canceled a planned dinner with the priest…simply because scandal is a thing. I have male friends who are single who still come over. My husband is often in the office with just the one secretary. We have no issues with that. However, given the climate surrounding priesthood and the issues with alter boys, there is not enough we can do to protect them from false accusations.