Wife asked why I didn't receive Communion

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There is an expectation of honesty and openness in marriage that is a Sacrament, mirroring of the relationship of Christ and the Church.

I have also said that asking such a question of a spouse is problematic, but understandable. I would not ask it, as I would trust my spouse to tell me if I needed to know. If asked though, I would answer. I do consider it my business, and the two are one.
 
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Ignoring my question. But in general you are correct, trust your spouse to tell you if you need to know, if she doesn’t tell you, don’t ask. Trust her decision you did not need to know.

If I ever asked, I hope my wife would say “none of your business”. That type of fraternal correction is how spouses really help each other.
 
I hadn’t even trade this when I wrote my last post. If my wife asks I would tell her respectfully. If I ask her, she could leave the respectful part off. Sometimes that’s what she has to do to get thru my thick head 🙂
 
I apologize, wasn’t meant to be controlling. I asked a yrs/no question: do you think a person has a general right to know their spouse’s sins? I honestly could not figure out if you intened to answer yes or no.
 
tafan2 said:
I do not believe a person has a general right to know his spouse’s sins.
If you think they do, then you would agree that a priest should not be found by the seal of confession if he is talking sole to the penitent’s wife?
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Doing it again: mixing words. One can and has the right to discuss problematic or sinful situations with their spouse in “sole mate (LOL)” manner for open dialogue with their wife, not PENITENT WIFE! That conversation does not mean the husband does not have to go to confession. I rely on my wife and visa versa for all things that we think are sinful or not for help. Nothing is hidden or secret; that is just deceptive.
 
tafan2 said:
If I ever asked, I hope my wife would say “none of your business”. That type of fraternal correction is how spouses really help each other.
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If that is what your marriage is like; I’m feel sad for you.
 
I am not mixing words. I have tried hard to keep my points simple and concrete, that’s all. Happily married, for the second time, 30 years now. So at least two people disagreed with you.
 
Yes, generally, as their is an expectation to know them intimately, using the word in its proper and literal sense. You cannot be know another intimately without knowing the good and the bad. You cannot love them intimately without understanding ever part of 1 Corinthians 13.

It (love) does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I write this not for you, but understanding us older married need to speak to the younger ones, especially in this generation.
 
I am not mixing words, I am the one who has kept my arguments simple, concrete, and consistent. Yes spouses have the right to discuss their sins with each other. Indeed, it is often very beneficial and even requires (in the event one wringed the other and needs to apologize). That’s not my point, quit misrepresenting my point.

My point is that a person does not have a general(abolute) right to know about their spouse’s sins. When asking the question, why didn’t you receive, you have no idea what the sin might be, so you are asking a question you have no right to the answer, assuming you trust your spouse’s decision not to have told you.
Hence, logic indicates if you ask, you do not trust your wife.

She made a decision not to tell you. If you have such a wonderful marraige, the she would have decided to tell you if you needed to know, or it would help her.
 
Ok, we disagree on a very basic point. That’s all I wanted to know, sorry if that was too controlling.
 
pnewton said:
Yes, generally, as their is an expectation to know them intimately, using the word in its proper and literal sense. You cannot be know another intimately without knowing the good and the bad. You cannot love them intimately without understanding ever part of 1 Corinthians 13.

It (love) does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I write this not for you, but understanding us older married need to speak to the younger ones, especially in this generation.
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Very well put! Love isn’t based on how much you trust the person, but how much you forgive and want to help the other, and also rely on their help.

Jesus sent out the apostles two by two for a reason!
 
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Perhaps my wording has not been clear. When I say:
A person does not have a general right to know their spouse’s sins.

The word general is very significant. I have a couple if times said absolute, but mainly not.

I am using this definition (from Merriam’s)
general: : involving, relating to, or applicable to every member of a class, kind, or group the general equation of a straight line

I have been using it with the intent of being clear in my point, but I not think it hasn’t been
 
You are presenting your argument clearly.

It’s the “right to know” part that is an issue. You don’t know if you have a right to know when you ask. You don’t know what the nature of the sin was. It would seem you might have a right to know if the sin involved you or your marriage otherwise…
 
Thats why the answer has to be guided to the Spirit also! There are ways to express certain things without exposing details. Just the basic nature, and the depth which it affects the spouse.

Here is an example of how complicated it can be, and is better off sharing in deep humility:

A wife gets drunk, intentionally, and later realizes it was wrong. She refrains from Communion because she knows she pushed away the Holy Spirit who was expressing to her it was wrong.

Husband asks what happened, is there something I should know, or can help with. Wife explains what happened. Husband says, yeah I know, and you said some hurtful things while drunk to family members at the get together.

Wife is glad he asked, and can apologize and express her remorse to the family members too.
 
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Perhaps this whole idea of rights is not the best way to see this issue. While the Eucharist is The Blessed Sacrament, it is not the only sacrament, and not the oldest sacrament. Matrimony is recognized as one of the seven sacrament, and a vehicle for the grace of God to us, as He ministers to our weakness through our spouse. While the appropriateness of the question might be debated, and we are oh so focused on rights in our society, let’s no lose sight of the grace available from God, through our spouse in the sacrament that is marriage.

By talking though our shame and guilt, we can find healing. Furthermore, this is a sacrament where the two are the vehicle of grace for each other. The husband should not deprive the wife the opportunity to receive the grace that comes from the proper response of love for the sake of his shame.
 
pnewton said:
The husband should not deprive the wife the opportunity to receive the grace that comes from the proper response of love for the sake of his shame.
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Is there some doctrine or teaching to back this up?

I’d say the husband has done nothing wrong if he decides not to seek the counsel of his spouse on every occasion of sin. Sometimes you really don’t need any assistance. Sometimes you know you’ve done wrong immediately and know the reasons and the remedy right then and there.

Also, if she didn’t give the proper response wouldn’t you have given her an occasion to sin instead? Sounds like a test.
 
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tafan2 said:
Almost Everytime I go to confession and make my examination if conscious, I come up with something I am ashamed to tell the priest.
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Indeed! The petty sins also cause shame and remorse.

We are always like a leper conscious of our festering wounds, and Jesus, through the Church, tells us to not be afraid and to bring them to him. He even touches us as he heals them. This is part of the healing and comfort of the “in person” confessional.
 
Yet we are able to confess to the priest, who does not have to live with, sleep with, share children, money, make compromises with, get the brunt of most of their bad days with, etc… The priest has a hardship listening to sins, but the spouse lives with them and experiences their manifestation to various degrees.

And forgiveness is a must, or it won’t be a joyful relationship.
 
Here are more likes 🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

It seems some folks have an infantile view of their spouse. In my marriage, neither of us are children, we both have parents, neither of us has some sort of stunted intelligence.
 
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