Going to go against the majority view but I think she >may< have a point. You are only required on Sunday and Holy days of obligation. (I guess you know this already, and I dont want to upset conservatve Catholics present) btw I watch daily Mass on ETWN which is excellent way for me to get my dose mid-week
Absoultetly not! I’ve been married to a control freak. You give a control freak an inch and they will take a mile. How the OP spends his lunch hour at work is totally up to him and he should let his wife know that.
No one is advising him to sneak around or lie to his wife. But neither does he have to avoid going to Mass because it’s making her uncomfortable. He’s already converted, so she is going to be uncomfortable no matter what. The “damage” is done, so to speak. He cannot go back and change his conversion. I think he should be honest with her, should sit down and discuss it with her, even invite her to Mass (although since she is LDS, she probably won’t go) . But he should NOT give up his practices as a new Catholic.
So if the OP caves in to his wife, what is she going to try and control next? What he eats for lunch? How he helps fold the laundry? How he eats? How fast he walks? Been there, done that on all of this…
Agree. In the practice of your faith,
I wasn’t lying. i just did not inform her that I was sometimes attending Mass at noon during the week. I don’t normally provide her with a daily detailed schedule of how I spend each hour of the workday. I didn’t say something like,“By the way honey, I am going to be at Mass today at noon instead of staying in my office eating lunch.” You have to understand that any mention of Catholicism or my activity in the Church upsets her. When the topic of religion comes up we almost always end up arguing. We have both agreed that I would keep my Catholic faith to myself - out of sight, out of mind. Since attending noon Mass would not affect her or the children directly, I decided not to bring it up. If I would have brought it up earlier it almost surely would have resulted in more tension, pleas for me not to go, and accusations of being fanatical. Maybe in hindsight I should have said something and dealt with the consequences. So I have told her that I would keep her informed from now on about all my church activity, which is basically just Mass. I have already agreed not to participate in any parish activities or groups, which in my eyes is a significant concession since she and my children are very active in their church.
Very difficult situation here, which obviously extends very deep. I think you’re going to have to find some kind of counselor that you’re both OK with so you can have a third party mediate while you talk about these issues. If you can’t sit down and have a conversation about it without tempers flaring up, you need assistance. Now she obviously isn’t going to be OK with a Catholic counselor and you aren’t going to be OK with Mormon one. Maybe a good protestant therapist or something? I just don’t see any of these issues being favorably resolved without some outside help.
I think this was a smart move. No point in causing more friction, and there is nothing dishonest about it. I was thinking about your situation this morning at Mass, and prayed for you both. I will continue to pray whenever the Spirit brings you to mind. If at all possible, I would keep going to Mass during the week. As a new believer you need the Eucharist as often as possible.
Thank you for your prayers!
Maybe we do need some neutral third party to help us figure out a reasonable compromise.
You have given up too much already and this is why your wife is trying to dictate how you spend your lunch hour because she knows you will eventually agree to her demand. What at some point, you decide to join the Knights of Columbus?.
**I have already agreed not to be active in my parish, not to wear a cross or anything related to Catholicism, to pray in the Mormon style with my family, and never mention my Catholic faith to my children or contradict anything my wife teaches them about God or the Mormon church. **My children do not know that I was baptized this Easter or that I am Catholic or that I attend the Catholic church that is near our home. Is going to Mass on my own time something I should add to this list? I have never told her that I pray the Rosary. Should I tell her? If she is made uncomfortable by that should I give up the Rosary as well?
Second this advice. The issues here seem to go much deeper than the OP going to daily mass and being a practicing Catholic.
My children are still pretty young. Some day they will have to know, but I don’t think now is the right time.
This quote and the post it refers to are your best answers to this question. As a committed Catholic, a disciple of Jesus Christ, your 1st priority is to your vocation as a husband. Just as in 1Peter 3:1, husbands as well as wives, need to subject themselves to the “one” of marriage, and thereby doing so may win the other over to Christ. There will be plenty of time later for daily Mass, and eventually, God willing, you and your wife will be participating in the life of the Church together.
Reassure them that most of the time, the weather geeks are crying wolf with warnings (that doesn’t say it doesn’t get rough it does, look at the SW Iowa storms 10 days ago, but most times a tornado warning doesn’t result in an actual tornado).
The issues here are very deep. My best advice to you is to get marriage counseling for you and your wife, preferably a counselor who has some experience helping couples cope with ‘dual religion’ marriages. If you wife refuses to go, go by yourself.I have already agreed not to be active in my parish, not to wear a cross or anything related to Catholicism, to pray in the Mormon style with my family, and never mention my Catholic faith to my children or contradict anything my wife teaches them about God or the Mormon church. My children do not know that I was baptized this Easter or that I am Catholic or that I attend the Catholic church that is near our home. Is going to Mass on my own time something I should add to this list? I have never told her that I pray the Rosary. Should I tell her? If she is made uncomfortable by that should I give up the Rosary as well?