Wife is resisting NFP... strategies anyone?

[OchsFam]

I mentioned it to my wife a while back, and she resisted at first. But, after a couple more months of my prayer, she brought it up to me again, and we’ve just started. However, we still have to learn exactly how to chart, etc., and the classes in our diocese are a bit far of a drive.

I would recommend visiting ccli.org/ for resources. They have an book that does an excellent job of explaining the various methods.

God Bless.

 

[DavidChrist]

Hi all,

First, a little background…

My wife and I are both 30-years-old and the proud parents of two-year-old & newborn daughters. We are both practicing Catholics, but have a different approach to our faith. I am a more “hard-liner” who really trusts the Catechism, the laws of the Church, and our Church heirarchy when it comes to my faith. My wife has a much more “personal” view of faith and is more about simply being the best person you can be.

When we were first married, I was okay with using the pill. After studying more, I have learned about the aborofacient properties of using the pill and I now despise it. After the birth of our first daughter, I ordered the NFP home kit from the CCL. My wife seemed on-board for a while, but her OB-GYN convinced her otherwise. She convinced her that NFP was not reliable and that the pill is not a bad thing at all. The ensuing arguments really hurt our relationship. I relented and continue to pray for her to have a change of heart.

I love my wife too much to be okay with thinking that my soul is okay since I do not want to use the pill.

Has anyone been there? What can I do beside simply praying without damaging our relationship?

Thanks for your prayers and any suggestions you can throw my way!

condoms, pull-out method, vasectomy, anal sex, oral sex followed by masturbation only, abstinence…

 

[choose_to_love]

DavidC, what is your point in posting this type of response? Online Knight has clearly identified himself as a practicing Catholic who takes his faith seriously. It would seem to me that a cursory review of the RCC position on contraception would make it apparent that the activities you recommend would not be considered by the OP. If you would like to have a discussion about the “why’s” of the RCC understanding of contraception, perhaps you should start your own thread.

 

[DavidChrist]

DavidC, what is your point in posting this type of response? Online Knight has clearly identified himself as a practicing Catholic who takes his faith seriously. It would seem to me that a cursory review of the RCC position on contraception would make it apparent that the activities you recommend would not be considered by the OP. If you would like to have a discussion about the “why’s” of the RCC understanding of contraception, perhaps you should start your own thread.

Online Knight wrote:

I love my wife too much to be okay with thinking that my soul is okay since I do not want to use the pill.

Has anyone been there? What can I do beside simply praying without damaging our relationship?

Choose to Love, I’ve been there and I was offering practical help “beside simply praying” to Online Knight.

I am a confirmed Catholic who has tried all of those things I mentioned. God is with me. That I am 100% positively sure of.

 

[catholic79]

Online Knight - I think your sig says it all pray the rosary. My husband and I at different time in our marriage have felt different ways about the Church’s teaching on this. Thankfully we are in agreement with each other and the church now, but it took years and many prayers. I don’t think it was anything we did or I would tell you, it was just a slow change of heart and acceptance of a hard but true teaching of our church. You and your wife have my prayers.

God Bless,

 

[dad_of_seven]

… I am just stunned that there are reasonable, educated people out there who think that they really might be condemned to Hell for using a condom.

There is so much wrong with naturegirl’s post it cannot be dissected without a 1,500-word reply. Let me just say this.

You might be less stunned to know that “educated people out there” are definitely going to be condemned to death if they keep using condoms and birth control.

I would suggest taking a look at the Muslim demographics in Europe. In 2050, Muslims will control Germany.

Forgetting about the spiritual and eternal consequences, birth control also causes practical ones — like wiping your civiliation out of existence.

So, naturegirl, I wouldn’t be so condescending about who is reasonable and educated and who isn’t.

In other words Popes Pius XI and Paul VI were right.

 

[PeterMuz]

Hi all,

First, a little background…

My wife and I are both 30-years-old and the proud parents of two-year-old & newborn daughters. We are both practicing Catholics, but have a different approach to our faith. I am a more “hard-liner” who really trusts the Catechism, the laws of the Church, and our Church heirarchy when it comes to my faith. My wife has a much more “personal” view of faith and is more about simply being the best person you can be.

When we were first married, I was okay with using the pill. After studying more, I have learned about the aborofacient properties of using the pill and I now despise it. After the birth of our first daughter, I ordered the NFP home kit from the CCL. My wife seemed on-board for a while, but her OB-GYN convinced her otherwise. She convinced her that NFP was not reliable and that the pill is not a bad thing at all. The ensuing arguments really hurt our relationship. I relented and continue to pray for her to have a change of heart.

I love my wife too much to be okay with thinking that my soul is okay since I do not want to use the pill.

Has anyone been there? What can I do beside simply praying without damaging our relationship?

Thanks for your prayers and any suggestions you can throw my way!

Find an NFP OBGYN. They are out there. Ask at your Church. I know a couple who cannot have any more kids because the wife would die if she went into labor. They use NFP and have avoided a pregnancy for like 10 years.

 

[flyingfish]

You can’t force your wife to be an orthodox Catholic, trying to beat her into it with argument won’t work. If anything, it will only damage your relationship and drive her further away from the faith.

Maybe you can try to approach it from the health angle, since the pill has some health risks for women. Maybe you can try to demonstrate to her that NFP is effective. If that doesn’t work, maybe try to get her to switch to a female condom as that doesn’t cause abortions.

But don’t push it over and over, say it to her once and let her think about it. Repeating yourself won’t change her mind, except it might make her hate Catholicism and dislike you.

 

[whm]

This seems rather simple (in concept hard in operation) to me, OP if your wife insists on using the pill, I would refuse to have relations with her.

Your wife is an informed Catholic. The pill is a mortal sin. I can not see justifying putting your wife and possibly your own soul in danger by continuing relations while using the pill.

It doesn’t have to be done in an angry or mean spirited way. Do it out of love. Tell her you love her so much that you are sacrificing this part of your marriage until you together find a acceptable solution. It will likely be harder for you than her. Then show her you love her like never before, just w/o sex. Take her on dates, go out of your way to help with the house and the kids. Increase your religious prayer life and devotions together.

I think as hard of a line should be taken on ABC as on porn or any other mortal sin that distorts and perverts God’s plan for sexuality.

Praise be to God that you are taking this serious and looking to do the right thing.