Wife wants a divorce

[micatholic]

Update. On my way to daily Mass yesterday morning my wife called and wanted to know where to send the divorce papers. She had retained a lawyer. Due to the separation, I switched to a Church close to the house where I am living. Only 15 or so people in Mass. The petitions are said aloud. I got the nerve to ask for prayers for my marriage. An hour or so after Mass, her Pastor called me and said she had agreed to hold off on the divorce and had agreed to counseling. This is a major step. She had been set to get a divorce done before Christmas.

 

[Island_Oak]

Maybe…just maybe…the prayers are working. I sincerely hope you can find common ground and have the chance to repair the divisions which brought your marriage to the brink.

 

[JSmitty2005]

jrabs:

Oh my gosh - JSmitty2005 and melbourne_guy, you are doing a disservice to the OP. Maybe you should go start your own thread, but leave this man to his!

Good point, sorry about that. micatholic, you’ll be in my prayers.

 

[melbourne_guy]

mlchance:

The RSV isn’t the Church. From the NAB:

“But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery.”

From the New Jerusalem:

“But I say this to you, everyone who divorces his wife, except for the case of an illicit marriage, makes her an adulteress.”

The phrases “unlawful” or “illicit” refer to marriage within the Jewish forbidden degrees, allowed by Roman law, but not by Christian moral teaching. This has always been the Church’s understanding of the verse.

Thus, this isn’t about how I would translate anything. It is about what the Church authoritatively teaches, and she teaches authoritatively that adultery is not sufficient grounds for divorce. A valid marriage is, in the word of the Church, “perpetual.”

So, in a word, you’re wrong, as is anyone else who thinks adultery in and of itself is grounds for divorce, which is a grave offense against the sacredness of marriage.

– Mark L. Chance.

ok now befor you were arguing that porneia meant incesteous, now your arguing that it means unlawful or illicit, which it doesnt.

 

[LynnieLew]

micatholic:

Update. On my way to daily Mass yesterday morning my wife called and wanted to know where to send the divorce papers. She had retained a lawyer. Due to the separation, I switched to a Church close to the house where I am living. Only 15 or so people in Mass. The petitions are said aloud. I got the nerve to ask for prayers for my marriage. An hour or so after Mass, her Pastor called me and said she had agreed to hold off on the divorce and had agreed to counseling. This is a major step. She had been set to get a divorce done before Christmas.

Praise God!
All we can pray for is that she will open her heart to God’s will. This is such a powerful holy season and my family will be praying for yours!

 

[embertx]

micatholic:

Update. On my way to daily Mass yesterday morning my wife called and wanted to know where to send the divorce papers. She had retained a lawyer. Due to the separation, I switched to a Church close to the house where I am living. Only 15 or so people in Mass. The petitions are said aloud. I got the nerve to ask for prayers for my marriage. An hour or so after Mass, her Pastor called me and said she had agreed to hold off on the divorce and had agreed to counseling. This is a major step. She had been set to get a divorce done before Christmas.

She agreed to counseling that is wonderful. Thanks be to God. Will continue to keep praying for you.

God bless

 

[marcsababa]

If I were not catholic and have great examples of sticking it out no matter what, then I would have left my husband many times starting soon after our first child was bron a year into our marriage. I had similar reasons as what you said your wife is giving you. My husband is self employed and unconventional in his approach to work. I still am afraid often, but have learned that it is better for me to live this way and perhaps become a better person than to endanger my soul and by now three and a half children’s lives by leaving.

I also see that my husband is essentially a very good person. I know I need a father for my children and really any guy no matter how great will have failings that will seem horrible at certain points.

I don’t know if you can communicate these things to your wife, but she must be a sensible person of virtue since you did decide to marry her. Let her know that you understand that it is difficult to trust another person. You are trying your best. If she needs to spend some time with her family it might be a good idea to let her go. Ask her to please pray and to think about the fact that she needs a father for her son and that really any guy will be difficul tto live with. SHe might as well continue making progress with you. This is how I rationalize things for myself.