Wife would rather go to church on Saturday as it ruins her Sunday?

[Sy_Noe]

Would you consider gym shorts and t-shirt (normal to see there) appropriate attire for Mass?

I consider them no less appropriate than a suit and tie. But the better question might be, would Jesus? And I find my Lord’s answer in John 6:37 where He turns no one away. And in 1 Sam 16:7, the Lord says not to look at appearance. That the Lord does not see as man sees. Man sees the outward appearance. But the Lord looks at what is on the inside in the heart. Peace.

 

[heidi_storage]

He already does all the prep work with getting the kids ready. He even does it throughout the week at least 50% of the time. He should have the right to pick where they attend Mass when mom isn’t even attempting to help him out. Honestly, I think he should stop telling mom it’s time to go and just head out with the kids on his own. All the kids. Get them ready and in the car. Tell her he’s going to Mass and just leave. Put it on her to decide if she’s joining them or not. If she were not Catholic that is how it would be done. She’s an adult and she can decide for herself what she’s wanting to do. Let her know if she wants to attend the other Mass then she needs to help get the kids ready and that they all need to be there on time. If they aren’t leaving on time then you can hold off going and go to the Mass you choose. She’s a grown up. She needs to act like a grown up. If she’s really depressed or whatever she needs to get treatment for that. If she’s just being resentful she needs to grow up. There are kids involved. Take care of your kids and pray for your wife. But quit babying her. It’s just going to encourage that behavior to continue. She can help with things and be responsible with being on time or you can just head of in your own. If she sees you are no longer going to treat her like one of the kids she might decide it’s worth trying.

Excellent post.

 

[jtauke]

Would you consider gym shorts and t-shirt (normal to see there) appropriate attire for Mass?

Come as you are.

Would you find it preferably if the gym shorts people just stopped going to Mass all together?

 

[Padres1969]

**Come as you are.
**

Would you find it preferably if the gym shorts people just stopped going to Mass all together?

That’s definitely the message a large number of the non-denominational and near-Baptist churches I’ve read about or been to use to get people in their doors. I still dress up in at least my daily business clothes (slack and a button down/polo shirt) when I go to mass. But I showed up at my cousin’s non-denom church after mass to view their service and I was the most over dressed person there other than their pastor. In our dress down society it can definitely seem appealing to just roll in as you are to a service. But it seems incongruous to come to a mass dressed down that much. It’s not just an elaborate bible study. That said, I guess coming at all is preferable to not coming. But it shouldn’t be a regular thing that people come dressed down. Once in a while if they didn’t have time to dress up, they were in the neighborhood, etc… sure.

 

[mafh]

Would you consider gym shorts and t-shirt (normal to see there) appropriate attire for Mass?

Maybe this is a dumb idea, but if you went to the parish with the casual shorts and polo dress code, then maybe you wouldn’t have to ‘get ready’ for mass at all, but could just come as you are? With five kids, it seems like anything that would enable you to get out the door with a minimum of fuss would be a blessing.

 

[CatholicSheila]

Would you consider gym shorts and t-shirt (normal to see there) appropriate attire for Mass?

Rather than judging them for their attire perhaps you could try thanking God for their company?

Those who show up in shorts, do show up. Many don’t.
Those who come late, still made an effort to come. Many don’t.
Those who leave early, still came. Many don’t.

See a trend here? We live in a world where many people are dismissing the Church and see no reason to attend mass. Every person who comes, whatever their problems, has made an effort. They see a need for mass, even if they view that need differently to you. Looking down on them won’t change anything. Treating them with respect (acting judgementally about them, even if they can’t hear isn’t respectful) goes a lot further.

Perhaps one day they will show up in something other than shorts. Or get there on time. Or stay till the end. The start however is actually showing up. Even if that is in shorts.

 

[Irishmom2]

Waiting to see how the OP fared this week for mass. Wondering after over 100 posts on this thread if he did anything differently this week.

 

[barhoram]

Update:

As mentioned, we had a family commitment on Saturday evening, so we needed to all go to Mass on Sunday. I did try and incorporate suggestions from the thread and I think it helped. Thanks. We agreed to go to our Parish together. I didn’t say anything about wanting to get there on time…she knows this is important to me. I followed the normal routine of doing all I can to get the kids ready. When it was time to go she was still finishing her hair. Calmly asked if she was ready, and she said “close”. Kids were already all in the van. I stated that we were going now to make sure we can get a seat. She said OK, see you there and got there midway through the second reading.

The difference is, I wasn’t mad at her, nor did I feel guilty for leaving because she wasn’t ready yet. Ideally (at least for me) we’d work together as a team to get everyone out the door so this kids see us working together towards our faith. Definitely progress, so I’m not complaining so thanks for everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut.

The kids got to talk to the nuns from their school after mass, and we sat behind my daughters teacher–so I think they were glad we made the effort.

 

[Irishmom2]

The difference is, I wasn’t mad at her, nor did I feel guilty for leaving because she wasn’t ready yet. Ideally (at least for me) we’d work together as a team to get everyone out the door so this kids see us working together towards our faith. Definitely progress, so I’m not complaining so thanks for everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut.

Well that’s good then! In time, things will change as the children grow. Glad things went better for you.

 

[Xantippe]

Update:

As mentioned, we had a family commitment on Saturday evening, so we needed to all go to Mass on Sunday. I did try and incorporate suggestions from the thread and I think it helped. Thanks. We agreed to go to our Parish together. I didn’t say anything about wanting to get there on time…she knows this is important to me. I followed the normal routine of doing all I can to get the kids ready. When it was time to go she was still finishing her hair. Calmly asked if she was ready, and she said “close”. Kids were already all in the van. I stated that we were going now to make sure we can get a seat. She said OK, see you there and got there midway through the second reading.

The difference is, I wasn’t mad at her, nor did I feel guilty for leaving because she wasn’t ready yet. Ideally (at least for me) we’d work together as a team to get everyone out the door so this kids see us working together towards our faith. Definitely progress, so I’m not complaining so thanks for everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut.

The kids got to talk to the nuns from their school after mass, and we sat behind my daughters teacher–so I think they were glad we made the effort.

Very good!

Even just this is in improvement–for one thing, you secured enough territory to seat your family and then once your wife arrives, you’ll have a seat for her.

 

[HB11]

:thumbsup:Wonderful news. Keep up the good work.