Will you criticize your priest?

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Hmmm not too sure pointing out the idiosyncrasies of someone’s speaking style when they have to stand up and deliver homilies every week would be too helpful.

A young priest may be a newer priest and, like many people, may not be too experienced yet in public speaking or even like it. When you’re not all that confident at something yet but can get through it the last thing you want is someone nit picking your performance.

I’ve seen a few visiting priests from other countries say Mass at our parish and sometimes English is not their first or even second language. I absolutely love it - their bravery is inspiring and it makes me feel more bold in my faith.
 
On second thought, my apologies to anyone that read my response.
 
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SJstl said:
If a younger priest says during the homily (there’s that word again) “you know” or “uh” after every third word, would you not ever suggest to him to work on that or would you rely on charity and prayer alone?
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Are you reporting on something you witnessed in real life? Did that really happen? It sounds to me like you’re just making it up.
 
tafan2 said:
With our former pastor, a good friend, I used to like be critical if his choice of whuch major league baseball team he was a big fan of. Does that count?
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We had a visiting priest a few years ago who told me as we were cleaning up after liturgy that he had been asking people to pray for the 49ers at confession, until it occurred to him that it might sound like part of the penance! 😱 🤯 😜

I replied with, “Father, this year watching them is penance!”
😜 🤣😝

[this was before all the kneeling stuff{actually sitting and eating to start}, which led to my ignoring the league for years . . .]
 
We’ve thought about it, but I don’t think he’d be open to the feedback so we’ve never said anything.
 
To give constructive criticism I think I would have to know something about what it is to be a priest, and I don’t. If I don’t understand something that he says, I ask my pastor to explain and help me understand.

It seems to me that there are far too many armchair theologians and amateur canon experts out there in the pews looking to pounce on anything they see as irregular. As Father said earlier: stay in your lane.
 
yes.

To presume to advise the priest on theology . . .

If it were wanted, I’d be willing to offer comments on delivery or structure, as I talk for a living myself. But that would be the limit of what I would think that I could offer.
 
I would rather avoid all-together criticizing others (since I am also not free from sin and can also fall into the same things I criticize others). Priests are the only persons on Earth who can absolve us from our sins and the only ones who can truly turn bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ.

Granted that if I see something seriously wrong with a priest I would say something, however unless there is a good reason, it is better to be patient and continue to be kind with everybody always, not just when it is convenient or easy.
 
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I have a hard enough time trying to understand Jesus in the Gospel…He always gives a twist in something he says that leaves me in wonder. Like today… The least in the Kingdom of God is greater than John the Baptist? 😯 😶
 
I follow the example set by my wife, and never criticize a priest. I didn’t hire him, and I’m not his boss. Every priest is different, and that’s good. Plus, he forgives my sins, and makes Christ present on the altar.
 
Holy cow, no. Humility is a virtue that needs practice. And at least here in the US, I think there are too many Catholics who think they know more/better than an ordained priest.
 
Nik said:
A young priest may be a newer priest and, like many people, may not be too experienced yet in public speaking or even like it. When you’re not all that confident at something yet but can get through it the last thing you want is someone nit picking your performance.
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Young priests may not be experienced in speaking. This is why it is all the more valuable to share your observation with them. Maybe they are talking down at people. Maybe they are talking way above people’s heads. Maybe their examples are far too complicated to follow. Maybe they jump around too much rather than sticking to the topic. Maybe they mumble or speak with an unintelligble accent. Maybe every homily they ever preach is a variation on one of their three pet topics. How can they improve if nobody tips them off? In a very discrete and respectful manner of course. As somebody up-thread suggested, I wouldn’t say “I think you got this wrong” but more “I didn’t quite follow the argument you were trying to make here” - of course only if i really honestly couldn’t follow.

Older priests on the other hand are sometimes too deeply entrenched in their idiosyncrasies to be able to improve. You have to take them as they are, and if they are difficult to follow, you are the one who needs to make a bigger effort, and if despite trying you still can’t follow, hard luck…
 
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gracepoole said:
Holy cow, no. Humility is a virtue that needs practice. And at least here in the US, I think there are too many Catholics who think they know more/better than an ordained priest.
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I’m completely opposite on this one. I would absolutely criticize a priest if I witnessed inappropriate behavior. This has been one of my questions with respect to the abuse crisis: where were the parents and why didn’t they believe their children if/when they reported the abuse to them?

The priest is only “in persona Christi” in Sacramental circumstances, and the only thing he is automatically more learned about is theology and doctrine. I’ve met a good number of (usually young) priests who honestly have no idea how the world actually works, and I will gently call them aside and say hey, you know, you really could have handled that situation better.

Criticizing the homily is a different animal; I’d probably keep silent unless I heard something that I could show directly contradicted the Catechism or other normative teaching. But we laity are canonically required to speak up if we see a behavior that is out of line. And if the priest ignores us, we go up the chain until someone doesn’t.
 
I’m the Sacristain in .y Church. One day I became involved in criticism of one of our Priest. I normal try and stay out of these discussions. It really bothered me so I took it to this Priest, face to face and confessed my sin. We had a great discusion about it, whe to a pew and said the divine mercy as penance. Now I avoid criticizing a priest, their job is hard enoungh. Take it to them directly. Man up. Every one make mistakes.
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I struggle with this too sometimes. On the one hand I have a lot of respect for priests. And I think they have the task of giving us feedback/admonishment we may not want to hear. That’s an uncomfortable place for everyone involved, but really important.

I’m generally not going to criticise a homily, unless like you stated, there is something clearly doctrinally wrong.

However on the other hand I think some Catholics tend towards almost obsequious submission. Whatever the priest says goes. I’m concerned that this leads to a loss of truth and opens up the avenue for abuse and pride.
 
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I agree with your comment about flustering people with correction.

Just to share an example, I was recently in a job which I hoped to stay in and retire from in fifteen years. My boss thought it necessary to correct me at every conceivable opportunity. If I packed a box to ship ahead to a trade show and enclosed two pads of sticky notes for our booth, she would huff disparagingly at me and remove one as “excessive”. If I made a typo on a rough draft, it was a matter for a performance discussion. If I got in five minutes past what I had casually estimated during a blizzard, it was a discussion. If. I made one legit mistake, she made fun of me for making “a million errors” in front of colleagues

One week, she was really on a roll, looking for correction opportunities. It did rattle me. What she corrected me for were not even mistakes…she might have an alternative idea, a different word, a preferred color…but just as easily, it could be argued that what I had come up with was better than her idea. I was happy to collaborate and implement her requests and suggestions, but her unceasing “correction” of perfectly good work drove me to distraction. Rattled, I started to make actual mistakes, and then her correction became increasingly nasty.

I asked her several times nicely to “please give me a moment to concentrate” which she took as a dare, apparently…she escalated and was so in my hair, I felt like I was being chased by killer bees. It was unrelenting. After she ignored my nice requests for about four days, I finally let her know I was feeling bullied and picked on, it was rattling me, and I was asking her to stop. I was fired for making this request.

I think we need to be careful in correction. Having a different idea is not the same as a better idea. Let others do things their way. Give people autonomy over their work. Let good enough be good enough. If you are a perfectionist, well your perfectionism is your deal…other people may have different priorities.

I would perhaps let a priest know if I couldn’t hear him, or if he missed an infirm person awaiting for him to come to her with communion, or as our cantor did yesterday, let him know there was a consecrated host on the floor by the altar that he had not seen so he could properly attend to it…not as correction but as a fellow Catholic sharing in the church. I would never nitpick his homily, manner of speaking, his singing voice, etc.
 
For a homily, no I wouldn’t be critical. Not everyone has good speaking skills. For something really major (for example, like not requiring everyone who is teaching children to take the child protection courses and background check) I will and have said something to a pastor.
 
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