Womanly Weakness

[CRATUS]

I think this exists in women’s imaginations more than it actually does in reality.

I haven’t hit 30 yet and I think mature women (40s or even 50s) can be absolutely gorgeous, and I know for a fact I’m far, far from the only male on the planet that thinks this way. I’m allured by their confidence and their emotional maturity and their physical attractiveness carries its own charm that is different but not necessarily inferior to a younger woman. The reason you have the stereotype of men always desiring younger women is because if you go to a strip club / party house, you’re going to have young female workers. Rich and powerful men also tend to take on younger wives because that is what they value.

In other words, as a Catholic woman, the men that are only value the youth in woman are the men you wouldn’t want to date and marry anyway.

Premarital sex has stronger consequences in that a woman is faced with the risk of pregnancy, and after this she is faced either with aborting the child, attempting adoption, or becoming a mother, not necessarily with the help of the man. This is as much as a blessing as it is a curse, because you are better guarded from committing the sins that men perhaps are more disposed to commit. Because of their role as the generator and not the incubator of life, they have less strings attached to sex, so they can easily fall into the trap of always seeking sex and yet never discovering love.

I’m currently working on a firecrew over the summer and there are a lot of blue collar guys, ranging from their 20s to their 40s, with severed ties to their ex-girlfriend(s) that have one or several kids. “Lucky” is one of the last words I would use to describe them. Their lives sound horrible and hollow and above all empty.

edit: Also, the gift of prophecy is not linked to the apostolic priesthood.

God is harsh, but less so than any other worldly philosophy you could possibly follow. People that live in sin and ignorance are not lucky. They face problem after problem, and loneliness after loneliness. Emeritus Pope Benedict XVI views the catechism as a path to optimal happiness, not as a rulebook that strips man of her freedom. When you fear nothing, you also love nothing.

Ok. Sure. Whatever you say.

 

[Gertabelle]

I think this exists in women’s imaginations more than it actually does in reality.

I haven’t hit 30 yet and I think mature women (40s or even 50s) can be absolutely gorgeous, and I know for a fact I’m far, far from the only male on the planet that thinks this way. I’m allured by their confidence and their emotional maturity and their physical attractiveness carries its own charm that is different but not necessarily inferior to a younger woman. The reason you have the stereotype of men always desiring younger women is because if you go to a strip club / party house, you’re going to have young female workers. Rich and powerful men also tend to take on younger wives because that is what they value.

In other words, as a Catholic woman, the men that are only value the youth in woman are the men you wouldn’t want to date and marry anyway.

Premarital sex has stronger consequences in that a woman is faced with the risk of pregnancy, and after this she is faced either with aborting the child, attempting adoption, or becoming a mother, not necessarily with the help of the man. This is as much as a blessing as it is a curse, because you are better guarded from committing the sins that men perhaps are more disposed to commit. Because of their role as the generator and not the incubator of life, they have less strings attached to sex, so they can easily fall into the trap of always seeking sex and yet never discovering love.

I’m currently working on a firecrew over the summer and there are a lot of blue collar guys, ranging from their 20s to their 40s, with severed ties to their ex-girlfriend(s) that have one or several kids. “Lucky” is one of the last words I would use to describe them. Their lives sound horrible and hollow and above all empty.

edit: Also, the gift of prophecy is not linked to the apostolic priesthood.

God is harsh, but less so than any other worldly philosophy you could possibly follow. People that live in sin and ignorance are not lucky. They face problem after problem, and loneliness after loneliness. Emeritus Pope Benedict XVI views the catechism as a path to optimal happiness, not as a rulebook that strips man of her freedom. When you fear nothing, you also love nothing.

:clapping: What you say here is so true! I appreciate your taking the time to write it.

I dumped God for the world’s version of joy and fulfillment when I was in my mid 20’s. I did all the things the world told me were the ticket to freedom and enlightenment. It was life in the sewage. Funny thing is, if you live in the sewer long enough, you stop noticing the smell. :sad_yes:

Life with God – for all its seeming contradictions and the need for surrender and faith and all that – is sooooooooo much better than life in the sewer!

 

[CRATUS]

I will say that Ashton Kutcher left Demi Moore for a woman younger than he is. Bruce Willis, even though he and Moore remained friends, married a young woman and has two more daughters now. Antonio Banderas left Melanie Griffith for a younger woman. Ditto for Kelsey Grammar and Donald Trump (first wife for second). The people in Hollywood do seem to want younger and younger women, but I don’t care what Hollywood wants, and I doubt many people on this forum do, either. The “Hollywood types” probably didn’t even marry for the right reasons.

Biology is not a woman’s side. It seems like men regardless of their own age want young women in their early to mid 20s. There is nothing wrong with it. But sometimes annoys me when men as old at 40-50 still want women in 20s. It seems like after that age there is something wrong with you. I do not like the idea of men my father’s age liking me. My father’s friends saw me grow up, it would be weird if they were attracted to me. GROSS.

 

[jmcrae]

Easier said than done. A lot of people say a woman’s worth should not depend on her role as a wife and mother, then again what are woman evaluated on. As a woman, if I am not married by a certain age I have became odd.

Don’t worry. You will come to an age when you realize that such things are unimportant. People will point out your odd features, and instead of worrying about how to change to please them, you will just say, “Yes - yes I am. What’s it to you?” And then you can point out their odd features, and make them feel like running away.

There are more family pressures on women to wed early after all my goal should be to have children. I do not have all the time in the world to decide if I want a start a family or not.

Don’t leave it to luck. Decide what kind of man you want to have for a husband, and surround yourself with as many of them as possible. Be yourself around them, and the right one will fall in love with you.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Biology is not a woman’s side. It seems like men regardless of their own age want young women in their early to mid 20s. There is nothing wrong with it. But sometimes annoys me when men as old at 40-50 still want women in 20s. It seems like after that age there is something wrong with you. I do not like the idea of men my father’s age liking me. My father’s friends saw me grow up, it would be weird if they were attracted to me. GROSS.

There are going to be creepy men. There were creepy guys in high school. Heck, I have a resident that tells me that he wants to “take good care of me.” Um, you don’t pay them attention. It isn’t like all men divorce their wives when they start getting crows feet and their boobs start to sag. Heck, I’m 26 and gravity is starting to take hold of my boobs. Men still find me attractive. I’m starting to gray. I have black hair, it is very hard to dye. So, I have glitter streaks, men still hit on me. Heck, I changed my status on Facebook from married to divorced and guys pounced!
Am I looking forward to 30? Nope. I already have plans to drink wine and cry in my bed all day that day. However, I’m sure guys are still going to find me attractive then. I know a lady in her late 40s who just married. So, apparently a guy found her attractive. I think Meryl Street is gorgeous and she’s in her 60s.
Stop worrying about this.

 

[CRATUS]

There are going to be creepy men. There were creepy guys in high school. Heck, I have a resident that tells me that he wants to “take good care of me.” Um, you don’t pay them attention. It isn’t like all men divorce their wives when they start getting crows feet and their boobs start to sag. Heck, I’m 26 and gravity is starting to take hold of my boobs. Men still find me attractive. I’m starting to gray. I have black hair, it is very hard to dye. So, I have glitter streaks, men still hit on me. Heck, I changed my status on Facebook from married to divorced and guys pounced!
Am I looking forward to 30? Nope. I already have plans to drink wine and cry in my bed all day that day. However, I’m sure guys are still going to find me attractive then. I know a lady in her late 40s who just married. So, apparently a guy found her attractive. I think Meryl Street is gorgeous and she’s in her 60s.
Stop worrying about this.

We are close in age. I am just being shallow, stupid and incredibly insecure. I wish I could delete this useless post altogether. Well God Bless You anyways.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

There are going to be creepy men. There were creepy guys in high school. Heck, I have a resident that tells me that he wants to “take good care of me.” Um, you don’t pay them attention. It isn’t like all men divorce their wives when they start getting crows feet and their boobs start to sag. Heck, I’m 26 and gravity is starting to take hold of my boobs. Men still find me attractive. I’m starting to gray. I have black hair, it is very hard to dye. So, I have glitter streaks, men still hit on me. Heck, I changed my status on Facebook from married to divorced and guys pounced!
Am I looking forward to 30? Nope. I already have plans to drink wine and cry in my bed all day that day. However, I’m sure guys are still going to find me attractive then. I know a lady in her late 40s who just married. So, apparently a guy found her attractive. I think Meryl Street is gorgeous and she’s in her 60s.
Stop worrying about this.

Right. There are always creepy men. I’ve had creepy old guys in their 60s and 70s try to pick me up. For one thing, I don’t get “picked up” by anyone of any age, and second, if I were, it wouldn’t be a creepy old man old enough to be my grandfather who did it. You’re right, you just don’t pay any attention to guys like that no matter what their age.

Shallow people will always exist, but I agree with you that it doesn’t mean everyone is shallow. Plenty of men, especially those who’ve had bad experience with “high maintenance” diva types just want a GOOD woman.

Jane Seymour is past 65, I think. I saw a recent photo of her in a bikini, and she looked terrific. Same for Helen Mirren. And Meryl Streep doesn’t seem to age. I know Seymour is divorced, but apparently Mirren’s and Streep’s husbands still find them attractive because they seem to have happy stable marriages.

Don’t be sad about 30, Kendra. We’re still going to be young at thirty. Even 40 and 50 are young these days. Jennifer Aniston attracts lots of men, and she’s almost 46. Lots of people think Halle Berry is gorgeous, and she’s getting near fifty. She’s old enough to be a grandmother. Many women are grandmothers at Berry’s age.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

We are close in age. I am just being shallow, stupid and incredibly insecure. I wish I could delete this useless post altogether. Well God Bless You anyways.

You can delete your post, but I don’t know why you’d want to. There is nothing wrong with being a little depressed over getting older. It’s not necessary to stay depressed, though. Beauty really is on the inside. No matter how gorgeous a woman is on the outside, she can’t hold onto a man if she’s a nasty, mean person. Not all men are shallow. Some are, I’ll give you that, but a great many are searching for something more in life. If that weren’t true, how do you explain the great number of average looking older women who are happy and in happy, stable marriages?

 

[Sarcelle]

Right. There are always creepy men. I’ve had creepy old guys in their 60s and 70s try to pick me up. For one thing, I don’t get “picked up” by anyone of any age, and second, if I were, it wouldn’t be a creepy old man old enough to be my grandfather who did it. You’re right, you just don’t pay any attention to guys like that no matter what their age.

Shallow people will always exist, but I agree with you that it doesn’t mean everyone is shallow. Plenty of men, especially those who’ve had bad experience with “high maintenance” diva types just want a GOOD woman.

Jane Seymour is past 65, I think. I saw a recent photo of her in a bikini, and she looked terrific. Same for Helen Mirren. And Meryl Streep doesn’t seem to age. I know Seymour is divorced, but apparently Mirren’s and Streep’s husbands still find them attractive because they seem to have happy stable marriages.

Don’t be sad about 30, Kendra. We’re still going to be young at thirty. Even 40 and 50 are young these days. Jennifer Aniston attracts lots of men, and she’s almost 46. Lots of people think Halle Berry is gorgeous, and she’s getting near fifty.

Halle Berry is gorgeous indeed.

To the OP, don’t worry about deleting this thread. We all have moments of weakness now and then, even the best of us. In the end, we decide to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and go on living life.

 

[Sarcelle]

You can delete your post, but I don’t know why you’d want to. There is nothing wrong with being a little depressed over getting older. It’s not necessary to stay depressed, though. Beauty really is on the inside. No matter how gorgeous a woman is on the outside, she can’t hold onto a man if she’s a nasty, mean person. Not all men are shallow. Some are, I’ll give you that, but a great many are searching for something more in life. If that weren’t true, how do you explain the great number of average looking older women who are happy and in happy, stable marriages?

Yes, not all men are shallow.

Even though I have not had the best of luck with men, I refuse to be bitter and hold resentment against them. I have seen people who seem to hold a grudge against all members of the opposite sex. It’s simply not attractive and in the end will do damage against the one who holds the resentment.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

Halle Berry is gorgeous indeed.

To the OP, don’t worry about deleting this thread. We all have moments of weakness now and then, even the best of us. In the end, we decide to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and go on living life.

And yet Halle Berry cannot seem to hold onto any man. I know some very average looking women who can.

 

[Sarcelle]

And yet Halle Berry cannot seem to hold onto any man. I know some very average looking women who can.

Correct me if I am wrong, but was Halle Berry a victim of domestic violence once?

More proof that good looks cannot protect you from life. Best not to depend on it anyway, it goes away with age.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

Correct me if I am wrong, but was Halle Berry a victim of domestic violence once?

More proof that good looks cannot protect you from life. Best not to depend on it anyway, it goes away with age.

She said her first husband was abusive, he says she was. I don’t know.

People can’t keep crow’s feet, sagging skin, etc. at bay forever, but I think many older people can maintain their attractiveness. Granted, it no doubt gets harder and harder to do, and if one lives long enough, there is a point of no return.

I couldn’t stand to be with a controlling, demanding man who was angry at life. I don’t care how good he might look or how rich he might be. I suppose it works that way for the men, too.

 

[Gertabelle]

We are close in age. I am just being shallow, stupid and incredibly insecure. I wish I could delete this useless post altogether. Well God Bless You anyways.

Personally, I am incredibly grateful you started this thread. I’m sure there are many women and men who read through this thread and were helped in some way, even though they didn’t post – so you’ve been a source of blessing to others!

I always think it takes a lot of courage to start a thread. One never knows where it will lead, or how people will interpret what we say, and so on. Thanks for having the courage to start this one

God bless you!

Gertie

 

[TK421]

We are close in age. I am just being shallow, stupid and incredibly insecure. I wish I could delete this useless post altogether. Well God Bless You anyways.

Insecurity is a very common obstacle, and perhaps especially for women, and you should not be disturbed or surprised that you are having these anxieties. The only thing you should worry about is how you choose to respond to them. We are defined by how we respond, not by how we feel. What you feel is not who you are. Keep telling yourself this.

These insecurities are exaggerated due to worldly society, which seems to exclusively value the qualities of youth: vigor, spontaneity, strength, flashiness, etc. It’s a recipe set up to lead to depression, because the more you age, the less you have of them, and there’s not really anything you can do about it. In a Christian society, there would be joy in age, as you increase in wisdom, patience, and experience, but those aren’t qualities you’ll find highlighted in pop culture. So what do people do? They run away from their age and keep clinging to youth, even though it slips from their fingers more and more every year.

But it’s a stereotype to say everybody buys into pop culture. If you’re worried about your attractiveness to a husband, you just need to focus on better perfecting yourself as a person and stamping out these vices as best as you can, and good men will notice you if you make yourself known. Bad men are attracted to bad women and good men are attracted to good women. Birds of the same feather flock together.

Oh, and about breasts from the last page: men love boobs. We just do. They’re basically the most awesome thing on Earth, followed by ice cream (which - not surprisingly - comes from them).
The fact that they are angled 10 degrees lower once you reach 40 is not going to make any half-sane man run away from marrying you. He will still marry you, and he will love you, and yes: he will very, very much like your boobs that you spend so much time worrying about. Once you’re married, you’ll figure this out real fast from experience. You might have to keep a spray bottle on the nightstand.

If I have to say something that is unattractive for a man, it’s when a women seems incapable of opening herself up, and she’s self-deprecating. As guys - assuming we’re not just in it for selfish purposes - we have a very strong, inherit desire to make women “open up” to us, spiritually, mentally, and physically (marriage only, tsk tsk). When she bottles herself up and doesn’t show any life, it makes us feel inadequate, like we’ve done something wrong on our end and that we have nothing to offer her. You could say that when a woman has poor self-esteem, it’s contagious to the man. But when a woman is receptive to our compliments, and laughs at our sorry excuse for jokes, it makes us very happy, and we want to spend more time around her and make her happy.

So don’t be afraid. Just take one day at a time and let yourself breath. It’s going to be alright.

 

[AKDee]

I don’t really consider a failing in others to be a weakness in myself. If a man decided to trade me in on a younger, more attractive person that would be his failing, not mine.

But one of the things I appreciate about our Catholic faith is that we take marriage very seriously. Divorce isn’t an option (or shouldn’t be). I think that alone should make us a bit more discerning about who we marry, and then to try harder once we’re married.

 

[CRATUS]

I don’t really consider a failing in others to be a weakness in myself. If a man decided to trade me in on a younger, more attractive person that would be his failing, not mine.

But one of the things I appreciate about our Catholic faith is that we take marriage very seriously. Divorce isn’t an option (or shouldn’t be). I think that alone should make us a bit more discerning about who we marry, and then to try harder once we’re married.

I love your strength. Can I borrow some confidence?

 

[Kurisu35712]

I will say I’m in my 20s. I still feel like my youth and beauty are passing me by. Men my age want teenagers. I guess men close for 40 want 20 year olds. Nature is crueller on women. God is there for the marginalized. I wish I did not need God at all. Many people feel happy without ever contemplating his presence. We are supposed to give all of our lives to God, yet I have never see Him ever. Grateful any good thing that happens I still have not seen Him.

Also being in my (early) 20s, I have to ask, where on Earth are you that guys your age want to date teenagers? I feel like that’s generally frowned upon. Most people I know won’t date someone more than about 7 years apart from them. My girlfriend and I are 8 months apart, and while I could imagine her being maybe 24 or 25, which would be older than me, even 19 is almost too young.

TK421 really said it best. There are guys, possibly even many guys, who primarily value physical attractiveness and youth in a woman. Are these really the kinds of people you want to date? No guys are attracted to self-deprecation, and if they are, they’re the kind you want to avoid.

 

[CRATUS]

Also being in my (early) 20s, I have to ask, where on Earth are you that guys your age want to date teenagers? I feel like that’s generally frowned upon. Most people I know won’t date someone more than about 7 years apart from them. My girlfriend and I are 8 months apart, and while I could imagine her being maybe 24 or 25, which would be older than me, even 19 is almost too young.

TK421 really said it best. There are guys, possibly even many guys, who primarily value physical attractiveness and youth in a woman. Are these really the kinds of people you want to date? No guys are attracted to self-deprecation, and if they are, they’re the kind you want to avoid.

Please ignore my self-pity in the earlier post. It was a reaction to a bad day. This whole post is a reaction to an unpleasant experience.

 

[Joy2day]

‘For when I am weak, then I am strong’. St Paul.
Do u go to mass every sunday?