Women and Dress

[Alex337]

What, if any differences do you see between men, in general, and women, in general?

Women, generally, are more likely to find their lust in erotic literature than in the visual aids many men prefer. Women are more likely to be disbelieved by society when they say they experience lust, while for men it is expected. Women are more likely to be shamed for indulging in lust than men. Women, generally, are less likely to pursue lust to copulation than men; one reason for this is that women are less likely to be assured a climax and the risk, both bodily and social, is far greater.

Women have hormones that cycle through the month, meaning as others have explained already that we are liable to have a period of the month where lust can be greater than usual. Though of course some women also struggle with it at other times, women who experience it during their period for instance can be in quite a pickle; sex during the period has been shown to ease menstrual cramps, but many people find it distasteful. This is not to say that women are sexless at other times.

Women have had a history of men misunderstanding their sex. To the point of the clitoris having been “discovered” and denied multiple times through history, while no part of male sexual anatomy has been so maligned.

I’m sure I can think of more differences that are still on topic but I suspect you will deny these ones somehow. So lets start here. Unless you’re finally open to taking womens words on how they experience lust?

 

[Roseeurekacross]

Yes I do. The dress standards and availability of AD 1 in an occupied and resisted impoverished community are very different.
Don’t drag the Blessed Virgin into things to prove a point. We are called to respect Our Lady. Look at how men dressed at that time, no jeans on the Apostles, strictly long flowing robes. Protection from heat , sun and cold. So why then, if we use these dress codes, are men wearing pants and jeans and not covering arms and legs.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

Your ankles are showing, in some cultures , that sends men into fits of lust. And those strappy street walking shoes…and the fitted dress…

 

[Pup7]

“women struggle with lust as much as men do” - and how do you know that? And - you are denying my experience of mine - so what? This isn’t a personal-opinion level issue, it is a matter of human nature as God designed it, not as individual persons would like it to be.

I realize that total equivalence in all matters - men, women, LGBTQ, normal - is a point of faith in secular modernism. But merely defining it to be so, or wishing it to be so, or pretending it to be so, does not make it so. Despite the “virtual reality” that many want to live in, actual reality keeps being what it is - reality. Men and women are different.

LOL because she’s female and has likely talked to men?

I used to work with all men. I was the only female. Trust me - women are the same even as we’re different. No one is saying we’re not DIFFERENT. What we’re saying is women lust as strongly as men do.

Different and bigger.

Exactly how do you know this, when you have so many of us telling you how utterly wrong you are?

 

[Sarcelle]

Let’s get right to the heart of the matter.

Answer this question. A simple yes or no would suffice.

Do you believe women in general are pure, virginal creatures, who do not struggle with the sin of Lust and those that say they do aren’t really struggling with Lust but are just feminists who think they want to be like men?

Yes or no?

 

[Joe_5859]

What we’re saying is women lust as strongly as men do.

I wonder if there are any studies out there that do a comparative analysis of libido levels for men and women. How would you even measure it, though? I’m not sure I want to know…

 

[Joe_5859]

Certainly Fide can answer for himself. I don’t think he’s saying that women don’t lust at all, only that he believes it is more of an issue for men than women. (And he’s also concerned of the larger cultural trend that would make women and men identical in every way out of the misplaced notion that our equal human dignity demands that we are indistinguishable from each other…But that’s really a distraction to the conversation, I think.)

Ultimately, the only thing that could really settle the debate would be some scientific studies. We can all share anecdotes, and that’s fine, but our own experience may not extrapolate to what the reality is “in general” on a larger scale.

I still think this modesty thread is surprisingly civil.

 

[somecanadian]

Are Men More Sexual than Women?

Marked differences between male and female sexuality used to be supported by solid evidence around the globe. Now, such distinctions are getting blurred in developed countries.

www.psychologytoday.com

Turns Out Women Have Really, Really Strong Sex Drives: Can Men Handle It?

A new book questions the conventional wisdom about female desire. What now?

www.theatlantic.com

From what I understand such tests are a simple consensus. People are asked questions, they tick off answers.

The trouble with that is we are ALL products of our societies. We are influenced by societal expectations.

For example, if men grow up hearing constantly that they’re MORE sexual than women, they’re going to behave accordingly.

If women grow up being told men want sex more, they will behave accordingly.

There are outliers to this but the reality is we can’t PROPERLY study ANY of this without removing us all from our society and how do you even do that? You can’t.

As a millennial I can tell you I have more desire than my husband. I can tell you I have struggled with porn addiction. I can tell you that I recognize men and women might have different stimuli but that doesn’t mean our levels of desire aren’t equal or that lust isn’t a problem for women.

Again, the reason I knee jerk react to this is because it all sounds like a lot of excuses and it seems to put all the responsibility on WOMEN to guard men as opposed to teaching men how to control themselves.

If I can control myself, why can’t men? Greater desire wouldn’t mean you are doomed to succumb. It just means you would have to have greater self-control.

PS: These are just the first few studies I found. I’m quite sure there are more.

 

[Pup7]

As a millennial I can tell you I have more desire than my husband.

As a Gen Xer I can tell you we’re more kindred spirits than you might think - except we were still told that we were wrong for feeling that way.

Again, the reason I knee jerk react to this is because it all sounds like a lot of excuses and it seems to put all the responsibility on WOMEN to guard men as opposed to teaching men how to control themselves.

That is the single thing that I find most irritating. Their issues aren’t my fault any more than my issues are their fault (and that’s a royal “their” and assuredly doesn’t include all men).

 

[Joe_5859]

Thank you for sharing this.

Again, the reason I knee jerk react to this is because it all sounds like a lot of excuses and it seems to put all the responsibility on WOMEN to guard men as opposed to teaching men how to control themselves.

Very good point.

To circle back to the topic of the thread, the first article you referenced indicated that sex drives were becoming similar between men and women in developed countries; however it did still seem to acknowledge that men are more visual in this regard. So in that respect, is it that surprising to that there is still more focus on the way that women dress as opposed to the way than men dress?

So here’s another question (and maybe it’s taking us too far off topic, and if so I apologize). If it is true that men are more visual in this regard and thus, the way that women dress effects men more than vice versa, what are things that men do (whether consciously or not) that would tempt women to lust that they might do well to be sensitive to?

 

[somecanadian]

That one I can’t answer as I’m very attracted to male hands, male shoulders and male arms. LOL. I guess I’m the outlier in that I can very easily be stimulated by visual cues. Oh! And male voices. That’s something that tempts me too.

Other things that cause temptation: Being a decent human being who is respectful and kind. Being commanding but in a respectful way. Laughter. Intelligence…

So basically shut up at all times or you’re being a temptation to a woman. ROFL. I’m kidding about the shutting up part. I can handle my desires.

 

[Pup7]

So in that respect, is it that surprising to that there is still more focus on the way that women dress as opposed to the way than men dress?

Yes. Because it’s 2018 and we know better.

And trust me - a well dressed man will always get third looks (and yes, I know what you mean by “visual”).

 

[BoomBoomMancini]

It is funny though, in illustrating the differences between men and women, that while men are more visually stimulated by a woman wearing nothing or something very skimpy, women are more stimulated by a man who is very well dressed. Most women I know would rather see a hot guy in a nicely tailored suit than see that same guy bare nekkid/wearing a banana hammock.

 

[Pup7]

Preach, my brother!!!

Although the sight of a young Paul Newman in “Cool Hand Luke” shirtless with a cigarette will never fail to send me to Confession.

 

[Katie777]

There are many articles and studies related to this, but I don’t want a search or cookies like this on my phone, so I can’t post them.

From a Catholic perspective personally i believe that God gives us all grace to know how to bring dignity to ourselves and others. It’s common sense. When we ignore this virtue then thats where trouble starts.

Not only do people dress for the purpose of the op, many dress with the intent of competition within thier own gender too.

 

[Sarcelle]

A lot of women seem to go for military uniforms on guys. Uniforms on guys is like lingerie on women.

I have read that the UK’s Queen’s Guards, you know the guys with the bearskin hats along with the guys on horseback with Cavalry uniforms, have a lot of women writing their phone numbers on slips of paper and slipping them into the Guards pockets, for the Foot Guards or in the boots, for Cavalry. I have tried pasting pictures of these guys but have not been successful. Just look up Household Division, Foot Guards or Household Cavalry to see the uniform.

I have friends who’ve been to the Vatican and they seem to be more interested in the Swiss Guards and their colorful uniforms than in touring the Sistine Chapel or in attending an audience with the Pope himself.

 

[BoomBoomMancini]

It’s true-ish. I’m in the military (I’m married, but I was in the military while single, too) and you don’t usually get much attention from women because you’re most likely living in a town near a military base, where there are tons of people walking around in uniform. It stops being any kind of novelty.

When you go somewhere where women don’t see uniforms daily, though, you end up beating them off with a stick.

 

[Sarcelle]

Ceremonial uniforms are more impressive than operational uniforms I think.

 

[Pup7]

I can promise you this doesn’t work for chicks. They all think I’m a pilot.

 

[somecanadian]

A chick in uniform isn’t weak. So yeah, I bet it would be a huge turn off. ROFL.

They know you can put them in their place.

Predatory men who are turned on at the sight of an ankle aren’t going to be interested in a woman who knows how to karate chop them out of existence.