Women, did/would you change your name upon marriage?

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How does that apply to today’s scenario?
Just pointing out…it hasn’t been always Catholic tradition to even have last names, much less to change or not change the name (which seems to vary by culture). Most of our saints probably didn’t even have last names.
 
Just pointing out…it hasn’t been always Catholic tradition to even have last names, much less to change or not change the name (which seems to vary by culture). Most of our saints probably didn’t even have last names./QUOTE}

I don’t know about that. Francis of Assisi had a last name. Bernadone.
But I get the point you’re trying to make. In today’s culture that would never work.
in our LifeTeen group last year we had:
Lizbeth
Lizabeth
Lisabeth
Lisbet
Lizbet
Elisabet
Lisabetta
and yes,
Lizette

Kind of crazy with just the FIRST names! 😃
 
What does not wanting to change last names have to do with rejecting femininity? **Clothing, shaving, names etc are all cultural and are not universal or even Catholic definitions of femininity and womanhood. **As a Catholic, Mary is my model for femininity, and she didn’t have a last name 😛

Some women feel strongly about NOT changing their names, just as you feel strongly about having them change their names.
If last names are trivial, why did you feel the need to respond so emotionally and make a big deal out of it?

It really has nothing to do with feminism. After all, most women who don’t change their name would still be keeping their FATHER’S last name.
Here in the USA it did become a huge issue in the 60’s when the “women’s movement” made it an issue. Many feminists made a big point out of keeping their family name instead of taking their husband’s name to the point that they equated taking the husband’s name to slavery, of all the silly things. :rolleyes: I remember Roseanne Barr saying she wouldn’t take her then husband Tom Arnold’s name because she wasn’t his or anyone’s else’s property. Then it occurred to her that her own family name was her father’s name, which made her his property (according to her odd logic), so she decided she’d be knows as just Roseanne. I hope your country never went through such nonsense, but we in the USA certainly did and it still affects many of us, hence the reaction against feminist ideology that equates taking the husband’s name as giving him absolute power over his wife. Another odd idea they promoted, and some still promote.
Changing last names is not a Catholic tradition. I doubt that it will matter in heaven… the important part of our name should be the “Saint” part. 🙂 In many cultures,it is not tradition for women to change their names. I am of Asian heritage. My mom did not change her name, neither did her mother, or grandmother etc. And neither will I, when I get married.
I won’t change my name because it’s not really a part of my heritage. It would also be a hassle to change my name legally, and on my important documents (such as degrees and certifications), as well as writings and publications. I love being a woman and embrace my femininity. But I don’t think something as trivial as changing my last name would make me more feminine.
Will I care if I’m addressed by my husband’s last name? Nope. Do I care about the decisions other women make regarding their last name? Will I call them anti-feminist if they do? Not at all. We have way bigger issues to worry about in this world.
Yes, and if it’s not a cultural norm in your country, then it isn’t a big deal, nor should it be if it’s never been an issue. Unfortunately, it has been a big issue in the USA. For a long time women couldn’t identify themselves as feminine because that meant they were slaves to men. Women had to be feminists so they could get ahead and “throw off the chains of domestic slavery.” Only in the last few years have women in the USA begun to feel they can be feminine again as well as be strong and capable and have careers. But a great deal of damage was done to families along the way, which we are trying hard to correct, which is why some of us feel so strongly about it. 🙂
 
And in heaven your name tag will always read
:::Your first name::+:::Your husband’s last name::: no matter what crazy feminist stunt you pull on earth :rolleyes:
Um, no.

Revelations 2:17

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.
 
Here in the USA it did become a huge issue in the 60’s when the “women’s movement” made it an issue. Many feminists made a big point out of keeping their family name instead of taking their husband’s name to the point that they equated taking the husband’s name to slavery, of all the silly things. :rolleyes: I remember Roseanne Barr saying she wouldn’t take her then husband Tom Arnold’s name because she wasn’t his or anyone’s else’s property. Then it occurred to her that her own family name was her father’s name, which made her his property (according to her odd logic), so she decided she’d be knows as just Roseanne. I hope your country never went through such nonsense, but we in the USA certainly did and it still affects many of us, hence the reaction against feminist ideology that equates taking the husband’s name as giving him absolute power over his wife. Another odd idea they promoted, and some still promote.

Yes, and if it’s not a cultural norm in your country, then it isn’t a big deal, nor should it be if it’s never been an issue. Unfortunately, it has been a big issue in the USA. For a long time women couldn’t identify themselves as feminine because that meant they were slaves to men. Women had to be feminists so they could get ahead and “throw off the chains of domestic slavery.” Only in the last few years have women in the USA begun to feel they can be feminine again as well as be strong and capable and have careers. But a great deal of damage was done to families along the way, which we are trying hard to correct, which is why some of us feel so strongly about it. 🙂
Well, I’m actually Asian-Canadian, so I do know where you are coming from 🙂

My post was addressing the idea of changing last names from a Catholic standpoint, since the poster I was replying to implied that we would have our husband’s last names in heaven and that not doing so was anti-feminine/ not in line with Catholic tradition. Just wanted to remind us all that the Church is universal 🙂

I was also responding to the idea that women shouldn’t make a big deal out of changing something so trivial as a last name, but obviously, as we can agree, last names are not trivial.
I would never criticize a woman for changing her last name, especially as feminism is supposed to promote more rights and freedom for women, not restrict it. It does symbolize family unity and togetherness, when everyone has the same last name, and I think that is beautiful.

At the same time, I don’t think women should be criticized for making the decision not to change their last names.
There was definitely a time in history, in the west, where married women were indeed expected to change their last names. I am glad that there is no longer such strong societal pressure to change my last name, not because doing so would make me a slave to my husband, but because there are so many reasons why a woman would not change her last name. It is her name, and even if she sticks to her maiden name because she thinks it’s unfair, it doesn’t automatically make her a radical feminist. And it doesn’t make her any less feminine.

If last names were really of such symbolic importance (same last name= family togetherness), then I think hyphenation would be most ideal. Or having a new last name altogether. After all, marriage is when the man and woman leave their family and join together to become one flesh. But hyphenation can result in super long last names, and a new name would just be confusing for everyone.

Last names are a big deal for another reason in my culture, interestingly. Women didn’t change their last names, but that didn’t mean gender equality for us either. Traditionally the mother’s side of the family was seen as the “outsider” since they had a different last name. And of course, the desire to continue the family name= lots of pressure to have sons.
.
 
Um, no.

Revelations 2:17

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.
Hmm. Interesting.
 
It amazes me how many women are so defensive and shameful of anything feminine. Like the word shouldn’t even exist! Why make yourself look pretty either? Why give in to the patriarchs? Why shave any part of your body, or even shop in the “women’s section”? You could be the Rosa Parks of Wal-Mart when you waltz right into the men’s section and buy yourself some blue jeans and a tank top!

Sorry but I have zero empathy for this line of thinking. You are posting in a Catholic forum and you wanna complain about “tradition”? It’s shocking to me how many women hate the fact that they are Women.

Not to mention I’m pretty sure if your name was Jessica and your last name was Gorgonshplat you would have zero problem changing your last name if it meant Jessica Rose or something similar :rolleyes:. All you females reading this should just change your last names and stop trying to create this invisible battle of inequality over something as trivial as a freakin name. Just like Gay marriage in heaven Zero same sex couples actually have a valid union in the eyes of God…no matter what USA law says. And in heaven your name tag will always read
:::Your first name::+:::Your husband’s last name::: no matter what crazy feminist stunt you pull on earth :rolleyes:
Hey, how’s the job-hunting going?
 
It amazes me how many women are so defensive and shameful of anything feminine. Like the word shouldn’t even exist! Why make yourself look pretty either? Why give in to the patriarchs? Why shave any part of your body, or even shop in the “women’s section”? You could be the Rosa Parks of Wal-Mart when you waltz right into the men’s section and buy yourself some blue jeans and a tank top!

Sorry but I have zero empathy for this line of thinking. You are posting in a Catholic forum and you wanna complain about “tradition”? It’s shocking to me how many women hate the fact that they are Women.

Not to mention I’m pretty sure if your name was Jessica and your last name was Gorgonshplat you would have zero problem changing your last name if it meant Jessica Rose or something similar :rolleyes:. All you females reading this should just change your last names and stop trying to create this invisible battle of inequality over something as trivial as a freakin name. Just like Gay marriage in heaven Zero same sex couples actually have a valid union in the eyes of God…no matter what USA law says. And in heaven your name tag will always read
:::Your first name::+:::Your husband’s last name::: no matter what crazy feminist stunt you pull on earth :rolleyes:
No wonder your fiancee has issues with you. You are acting like a complete douche!
 
Is it? The post seems to pertain to this thread.
A lot of us are just having trouble believing, given Polluted’s various troubles with women (multiple children out of wedlock, dependency on his fiance’s family, and rather difficulty with keeping a job that lets him support his children), that he is someone to take seriously on male/female relationships.
 
A lot of us are just having trouble believing, given Polluted’s various troubles with women (multiple children out of wedlock, dependency on his fiance’s family, and rather difficulty with keeping a job that lets him support his children), that he is someone to take seriously on male/female relationships.
Yep, the whole “I’ll keep having sex and creating children as I want to” outside of marriage and “the rest of you can #$&8 off if you don’t like it” attitude of his is ridiculous.
 
A lot of us are just having trouble believing, given Polluted’s various troubles with women (multiple children out of wedlock, dependency on his fiance’s family, and rather difficulty with keeping a job that lets him support his children), that he is someone to take seriously on male/female relationships.
Sorry, I guess I wasn’t clear. It seemed to me that the post ranting about women not changing their names and not being feminine pertained to this thread, rather than to the thread discussing P’s job quitting and imminent marriage to a woman whom he appears to resent and despise. However, I haven’t seen that post–only the quotation of it, and so I wondered whether it had been posted on this thread (discussing name changes) and then been pulled by the moderators.
 
Sorry, I guess I wasn’t clear. It seemed to me that the post ranting about women not changing their names and not being feminine pertained to this thread, rather than to the thread discussing P’s job quitting and imminent marriage to a woman whom he appears to resent and despise. However, I haven’t seen that post–only the quotation of it, and so I wondered whether it had been posted on this thread (discussing name changes) and then been pulled by the moderators.
Oh.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=14309158&postcount=44
 
:::Your first name::+:::Your husband’s last name::: no matter what crazy feminist stunt you pull on earth :rolleyes:
Man, that must suck for all the cultures in the world that have never taken their husband’s name in the entire history of mankind 😃
 
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