Women only please: "acclimating" to head covering

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jazzy_987 said:
I am often a very self conscious person, and I would feel awkward wearing a head covering.
I have been thinking of wearing one, but I am always worried I’ll attract a lot of attention, and probably distract me too. Not many people wear a head covering at my church, but I may try.
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Would a lightweight scarf be too distracting?

Lately I’ve been wearing a scarf as a headband. Not really a head covering, but I feel like maybe a scarf will not feel strange if I decide to wear it…

Good luck.
 
jazzy_987 said:
I am often a very self conscious person, and I would feel awkward wearing a head covering.
I have been thinking of wearing one, but I am always worried I’ll attract a lot of attention, and probably distract me too. Not many people wear a head covering at my church, but I may try.
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Perhaps a snood would be more to your liking? Several headcovering sites carry them, as do some of the sites others have listed.
 
Let’s hope I don’t jinx this one by saying what a lovely thread! 🙂

I cover my head at the NO and the TLM. We attend both and love both and they are equally the same Sacrifice.

I did feel a little hesitant at first at the NO…not many other ladies covering…just a handful…but I soon lost those feelings and now feel kind of “naked” without my covering. It does seem to focus me and get me in the right frame of mind for prayer.

I generally wear something tied kerchief style under my hair at the back…a scarf, bandana, piece of crochet…it blends in and stays put when struggling with toddlers. I sometimes wore this kind of headcovering outside of Mass…before I even converted…so it was a good transition for me to wear as a first headcovering in Mass. I am just feeling ready to try a nice traditional mantilla…maybe for special occasions.

We are just coming out of our winter and it has been very cold, so a lot of ladies have been wearing their winter hats to the NO. I’ve been wearing my cloche style hat all winter and have been loving it. I don’t stick out at all and I can pull it right down over my eyes and hide and block out any distractions. (When I have the luxury of attending without the little ones that is.)
 
PatienceAndLove said:
Someone earlier mentioned snoods.
Perhaps those are a better option for the ladies just getting into covering, and wanting to be less conspicuous?
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What are snoods? I have really no idea.
In my parish is no single headcovering in sight, and in the TLM yesterday wasn’t one EITHER, so I left my big, head-covering shawl in my bag 😊

I feel really drawn to wearing a head-covering, but I don’t want to stick out - like I would do with most of the stuff that, for example, halo-works sells.
 
Amethyst said:
Starting a new thread because the earlier one is 1) hijacked and 2) not my situation.

A little about me: I attend the ordinary form of the Mass; there is no alternative in my area, but it’s what I’d probably choose anyway, But I’m asking this in this forum because you are the ladies with experience with veils.

I understand the head covering as a valid option, and I am a big believer in the idea that “what we do with our bodies affects our souls.” So I bought a lace veil; I’ve worn it once, not at my home parish.

And, unlike those of you that experienced immediate graces and consolations, I totally distracted myself. Both with thoughts about whether the veil was on right, would stay. felt funny AND with worrying about what and whether OTHERS were noticing.

So… is this just a failed experiment? Am I just too [fill in the blank] for this? Or should I assume that some new things are difficult, and I’ll eventually be comfortable?

PLEASE keep the canon law / Scripture / Tradition / tradition fight over on the other thread. Ladies only! To sum up:

Were you distracted at first?
Did it pass?
What helped you get to a sate of prayer?
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Sorry for going against your request for lady’s only but, I think you might find this
An interesting article.
fatimafamily.org/?m=200407
 
Like said:
Sorry for going against your request for lady’s only but, I think you might find this
An interesting article.
fatimafamily.org/?m=200407
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Interesting article - thanks for adding that! I love the comment regarding a priest saying that wearing a head covering makes one look “holier than thou” - isn’t that better than “worldlier than thou” or “sexier than thou”? hehehe 👍

~Liza
 
Well, respectfully, the article and the comment afterward was exactly what I did NOT want to have happen. Now we are off the subject of women’s experience and in the area of wrangling about Church law. And comparing and making generalizations.

Please, there are other threads to discuss these other things. I wanted just to stick to women’s own experiences, without talking about others’ modes of dress, or of law or custom or anything else. 😦
 
I wore a veil today for the first time since I was a child (I’m 50, so it has been a while!). I attended the traditional Latin Mass at noon which is offered once a month at a nearby church. I had attended there a few times before, and had noticed that many of the women wear veils.

Mine was a homemade one which I quickly cut and stitched together from an old long narrow lace scarf which I never use. (I couldn’t find any way to use the scarf “as is” and keep it on my head!) The veil I mail-ordered hasn’t arrived yet, so I improvised.

Today was a sort of “icebreaker” for me. I’ve been reading about why women wear veils, and it appeals to me, but it is a little awkward for me at first. Next step is to try wearing a veil in the Adoration Chapel, then muster the courage to wear it at our regular Novus Ordo Masses. I don’t know whether I’ll get any objections if I wear one when serving as cantor or lector. Very few women in our parish wear veils (I see one or two at weekday Masses).
 
Philothea,

I’m glad you did. I went to Exposition and Adoration for first Friday this week bareheaded, and I felt that! 😦 So something is changing, and I am intrigued.

I am really grateful to read of the other women who are venturing into this with me.
 
There were about six women with headcovering on this morning. I counted them 😉 and guess what…they were all very young women, all but one.

So…maybe it’s making a comeback…

I’m waiting on the one that I ordered.
 
I am an almost 60 year old Hispanic woman who wore head coverings throughout my youth and into my mid-20s. I still have mantillas that belonged to my mom. About 6 years ago I started wearing a mantilla again.

What caused me to return to wearing the veil? The immediate trigger was seeing an elderly woman wearing a veil. But more importantly, it was a very strong desire triggered by a conversion (my gazillionith!) to a greater love for the Eucharist and joining a group of women whose charism is prayer, sacrifice and reparation for priests. We only meet once a year–and then only about two dozen of us–for a retreat; and within that number, a small handful wear veils.

The deeper I plunge into the Catholic faith, the more I am consumed by a humility that I never knew through my cradle-Catholic, pre-Vatican-II, 12-years-in-Catholic-school existence. The veil certainly adds to the humility, especially at first when I got stares. However, the only comments I received were along the lines of nostalgia: “I remember wearing one of those a long time ago” “My mom used to wear a veil”

I am very blessed with a husband who loves the veil and thinks I look great when I wear it. When I attend Mass at my adult children’s parishes, I get reactions from Catholics who see the veil as a breath of fresh air amidst the staleness of banal homilies, circus liturgies and atrocious music.

I have had only one very negative experience though–a request by a priest at a different parish not to wear the veil at Mass. I protested indignantly to my pastor and he reminded me of the humility I was so assiduously trying to make part of my life. So in obedience I do not wear the veil in that situation.

Lately I have taken to wearing scarves & hats as well. I did a recent count and women wearing veils have grown from 2 to about 10, ranging in age from 7 to 70. And of course, wearing veils generally means wearing dresses/skirts - though I do wear my veil with dressy slacks/pants suits.

By the way, my greatest hesitation came with the decision to wear head coverings every time I attend Mass - that’s because I am also a lector and Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. I figured that since people see me in the pew with the veil, it would really be hypocritical for me not to wear it in during the public ministries.

I also direct a sacramental prep program and have taught religious education. So the veil is a very visible sign to the young people with whom I work.

Yes, it did take time to feel comfortable and to find the best way to secure the veil. But at some point it was not about me, how I look and what others will say. As so many times in my life of faith, it became a matter of what will glorify God, edify others, and help my spiritual growth.

Trust me, you will grow in humility!!😉
 
OK so I wore my veil for the third time today. The first two times my kids were wonderful and I was able to really concentrate and I just had an all around wonderful experience wearing the veil. I really felt the God beaming down at me with pride. However the first two time were at a neighboring church, today i went to our regular Mass where i know everyone. I was a little more nervous. The kids were a little louder and it was extra attention that i didnt want! There are usually a couple other women wearing one but not today…just me and my girls! boy did we stand out. But i found in the moments that i wasnt dealing with a cranky child it was easier to focus and I still just loved it.

The best thing that happened is a man came up to us as he walked to the back of the church, stopped and said, “my wife wears one too, you all look so wonderful!” I was so grateful to him for that. He didnt mean we look pretty but that he thought it was wonderful that we were doing it too.
And the look on my husbands face as he looked down at me was priceless, i felt he was really proud to be with “his girls” today at Mass.

Wearing a veil is not about pride on the part of the woman but about humility, but i do wish to make God and my husband proud. I think also, since veils are slowly coming back those of us that wear them are somewhat of trail blazers. We may have to endure a little more attention for it, but i think that is the extra challenge we have to remain humble and continue to remind ourselves why we are doing this.
 
stayathomemommy said:
OK so I wore my veil for the third time today. The first two times my kids were wonderful and I was able to really concentrate and I just had an all around wonderful experience wearing the veil. I really felt the God beaming down at me with pride. However the first two time were at a neighboring church, today i went to our regular Mass where i know everyone. I was a little more nervous. The kids were a little louder and it was extra attention that i didnt want! There are usually a couple other women wearing one but not today…just me and my girls! boy did we stand out. But i found in the moments that i wasnt dealing with a cranky child it was easier to focus and I still just loved it.

The best thing that happened is a man came up to us as he walked to the back of the church, stopped and said, “my wife wears one too, you all look so wonderful!” I was so grateful to him for that. He didnt mean we look pretty but that he thought it was wonderful that we were doing it too.
And the look on my husbands face as he looked down at me was priceless, i felt he was really proud to be with “his girls” today at Mass.

Wearing a veil is not about pride on the part of the woman but about humility, but i do wish to make God and my husband proud. I think also, since veils are slowly coming back those of us that wear them are somewhat of trail blazers. We may have to endure a little more attention for it, but i think that is the extra challenge we have to remain humble and continue to remind ourselves why we are doing this.
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I know i wish people would understand it’s not a vanity thing. It’s about humility and submitting to God’s will. It’s changed my life. i am getting more out of mass and adoration. It also bleed over into all areas. I make a effort to make sure that i dress modestly for church. I mean i can’t wear the veil and be wearing tank top and shorts or a low cut tight fiting dress. It would be a contridication. I also am loving adoration and have just starting praying the rosary. I want to like our beautiful mother and become his handmaiden. I can only do that it i learn to pray, submit to his will and leave my wants and ways behind for his way. The veil is just one of those tools that helps me.
 
Good for you ,ladies! Yes’m, you’re right about acclimatizing to headcoverings. As a teen my family and I attended a latin mass out of town, but now we attend the local N.O. mass. Here at our local N.O. parish I would say about ten or so ladies cover their heads. This is definitally an increase from the last decade. The women are mostly middle-aged, a few elderly, and a few in late teens and twenties(including myself). I’ve noticed that people tend to stare but I do try to practice some modesty of the eyes (a good manner that I learned from Tradition)😉 Only one person has ever commented. It was a little boy about four years old, who whispered loudly “whats that thing on her head?”😛 But on several occasions folks have complimented my veil or shawl and asked where I had got them. God Bless.
 
Just a practical note for those who have trouble pinning veils etc. on, if you can braid your hair it’s often easier to pin into braids than hair hanging loose. I have long hair and find that making two braids and wrapping them around my head gives me something to anchor headwear onto near the front of my head rather than all the way at the back like a bun would be.
 
I have been fortunate in having a globe troting mother who brought me home from Sicily a fabjoulous black scarf with tweeny weeny beads threaded throughout…it sits just nicely on the head, I usually have a couple of trusty bobby pins…OR if you are clever with needle and thread purchase an Alice band in black or what have you and sew it to the mantilla where it sits just right…an elderly and very clever lady has done this with hers and it is the very thing I think.

i think it lovely to see all the women and girls and baby girls covered…usually with mantilas, hats or scarves and the babies are cute as…often the mamas have a bit of trouble if the baby is awake and interested on her shoulder…🙂
 
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