Women only please: "acclimating" to head covering

[ThereseMarie]

I just want to make sure I’m doing this for Jesus. Is he really pleased with me wearing a headcovering? Is it a good mortification of my vanity or am I separating myself from my fellow parishioners?

The difficulties you are having speak volumes about your motives for wearing a veil. If you were trying to look “holier than thou” or call attention to yourself, I don’t think it would be so hard for you to wear it. I know the Lord is pleased with your humility.

If you have a Byzantine Catholic church nearby, you should try attending their Divine Liturgy (Mass). Many of their women wear veils, and their Liturgy is so very beautiful and awesome, that I have tears in my ears every time I am there. In fact, if we had a Byzantine Church nearby, I would change rites altogether!!

 

[Pax_et_Caritas]

The difficulties you are having speak volumes about your motives for wearing a veil. If you were trying to look “holier than thou” or call attention to yourself, I don’t think it would be so hard for you to wear it. I know the Lord is pleased with your humility.

Good answer.

 

[bear06]

I had a little set back in my acclimating.

My dd had her first communion enrollment Mass. We were asked to read the prayers of the faithful. As we walked in, I noticed of course that my dd and I were the only ones with head coverings. We sat up front because we had to go up to read. I was distracted throughout the Mass because I felt so self-conscious. I kept telling myself, “I’m wearing it for Jesus.–not for anyone else.”

We were sitting diagonal to the Albo where we suppose to go. When the time came, I couldn’t make myself (with my dd) cross in front of the Altar, necessitating a bow, and then around to the other side. I just went to the Pulpit that was close to us. Generally during Mass that is where our parish has the prayers of the faithful read, but I know the RE wanted us to go to the Albo.

During Sunday Mass, I don’t worry about wearing a headcovering so much anymore. But, this was so upfront.

Plus, mom and I were talking about reverence in Church. She had introduced the topic. I told her I was wearing a headcovering now. And, she told me that it was weird.

sigh.

I just want to make sure I’m doing this for Jesus. Is he really pleased with me wearing a headcovering? Is it a good mortification of my vanity or am I separating myself from my fellow parishioners?

Well, after 80 posts on the subject, might I suggest that you discuss this with your spiritual director. We are not privy to your motivations on different subjects but he might be. In my opinion, you’re spending far too much time agonizing over this one. This might even be a scrupulosity issue.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Well, after 80 posts on the subject, might I suggest that you discuss this with your spiritual director. We are not privy to your motivations on different subjects but he might be. In my opinion, you’re spending far too much time agonizing over this one. This might even be a scrupulosity issue.

Indeed.

 

[aboverubies]

Well, after 80 posts on the subject, might I suggest that you discuss this with your spiritual director. We are not privy to your motivations on different subjects but he might be. In my opinion, you’re spending far too much time agonizing over this one. This might even be a scrupulosity issue.

Hang on a sec…leonie is not the OP and has only made three posts on this thread…hardly “spending far too much time”…hardly “agonizing”.

 

[beckers]

I, too. worry if I am covering my head for the right reasons. I truly do not want to call attention to myself nor do I want to appear holier than thou. I am painfully aware of my sins and shortcomings.
I cover my head because scripture calls for it and women have been covering their heads in the presence of the Lord since Old Testament times. Why did we suddenly become exempt from doing this around 1970? It came about because of pressure from feminists. But the Church no longer demands it so it is now a free choice.
I try to wear a headcovering which is as unobtrusive as possible. And no one should be made to feel ashamed to either cover her head or not cover her head.

Your stuggle is with living up to God’s opinion or societies opinion. Notice the only reason you have started having issues with the headcovering is how you appear to others as holier than thou or bringing too much attention to yourself. That is not God speaking but society. We allow those around us to dictate our lives too much. Continue to pray and focus on Jesus and all else will fall into place.

Beckers

By the way I am going through the same struggles but I have a good support group of women to depend on.

 

[ThereseMarie]

I cover my head because scripture calls for it and women have been covering their heads in the presence of the Lord since Old Testament times. Why did we suddenly become exempt from doing this around 1970? It came about because of pressure from feminists. But the Church no longer demands it so it is now a free choice.
I try to wear a headcovering which is as unobtrusive as possible. And no one should be made to feel ashamed to either cover her head or not cover her head.

Very well put. Help me with this: Today, I spoke with some of my Catechism students about their attempt to wear their veils to Mass last week. These children are 6 teenaged girls (all sisters) and they tried to wear their veils to serve Mass last Thursday morning, but were reprimanded by the priest in such a way that they were driven to tears. When one of the girls protested and told the priest “But it’s in the Bible,” she says that he told her to “shut up.” BTW, these are the most lovely, modest, chaste girls you could ever meet. They wear only dresses to Mass because they found out that one could not have an audience with the Pope without being properly dressed. They decided that Our Lord deserved at least this much. They have been wanting to wear veils, but felt too self-conscious until my girls and I started wearing them.

Today, they looked very broken hearted when I talked to them about it, and said they doubted that they would try again.
My little sister is upset about this and says I should go to the Bishop. (can’t do that - it’s a SMALL town) I feel sorry that all of this has happened because I know the girls were inspired to wear veils by us. It seems that acclimating to wearing a veil is not just difficult for me personally, but also for others. Why does this piece of lace on a woman’s head stir up bad feelings? I am sad about this.

 

[Chris_McAvoy]

My only words of advice -

Anything you can wear Eastern Catholics can wear better
Do as they do all will be fine.

The local Malankara diocese (from Kerala, India) has very happy beautiful head coverings over nearly all adult female heads and it’s completely optional!

I agree that mantillas are a spanish idea but I suspect they may have themselves been copies from Belgiums lacework…in 1200 A.D. I dont think the lace mantillas was in use.

I’m a man and i’m only recently starting to wear a italian “Alexandria” hat outside before I enter the liturgy.
So for both men and women, hats will make a comeback.

Though within the african americans churches they never seemed to disappear as much.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

My only words of advice -

Anything you can wear Eastern Catholics can wear better
Do as they do all will be fine.

The local Malankara diocese (from Kerala, India) has very happy beautiful head coverings over nearly all adult female heads and it’s completely optional!

I agree that mantillas are a spanish idea but I suspect they may have themselves been copies from Belgiums lacework…in 1200 A.D. I dont think the lace mantillas was in use.

I’m a man and i’m only recently starting to wear a italian “Alexandria” hat outside before I enter the liturgy.
So for both men and women, hats will make a comeback.

Though within the african americans churches they never seemed to disappear as much.

Um… men are not supposed to cover their head in Mass.

 

[ElizabethPH]

Um… men are not supposed to cover their head in Mass.

I think he means he wears it before entering Mass. If I’m not mistaken. Those are nice looking hats.

 

[krazykatlady]

Very well put. Help me with this: Today, I spoke with some of my Catechism students about their attempt to wear their veils to Mass last week. These children are 6 teenaged girls (all sisters) and they tried to wear their veils to serve Mass last Thursday morning, but were reprimanded by the priest in such a way that they were driven to tears. When one of the girls protested and told the priest “But it’s in the Bible,” she says that he told her to “shut up.” BTW, these are the most lovely, modest, chaste girls you could ever meet. They wear only dresses to Mass because they found out that one could not have an audience with the Pope without being properly dressed. They decided that Our Lord deserved at least this much. They have been wanting to wear veils, but felt too self-conscious until my girls and I started wearing them.

Today, they looked very broken hearted when I talked to them about it, and said they doubted that they would try again.
My little sister is upset about this and says I should go to the Bishop. (can’t do that - it’s a SMALL town) I feel sorry that all of this has happened because I know the girls were inspired to wear veils by us. It seems that acclimating to wearing a veil is not just difficult for me personally, but also for others. Why does this piece of lace on a woman’s head stir up bad feelings? I am sad about this.

It is a shame that a bit of lace has come to stir up such bad feelings. Just like the TLM stirs up such bad feelings in some people and clergy. How can something which was once considered right and obligatory now be considered wrong? You got me! Some folks, I guess, have this idea about the “bad old church” and don’t want anything that reminds them of it. I was around in the bad old days and loved everything about the Church so I don’t really get it.
We had a similar situation in our choir. We sing in the loft and sometimes I and another choir member wear mantillas. Another lady in the choir got the idea that we ought to order mantillas for all the ladies in the choir. Now personally I think that this would be great, but knowing our pastor like I think I do, he would have had a fit if all the choir ladies showed up in mantillas, so I advised against it.