Working and living with two gay men; advice?

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aroosi said:
Apples and oranges. For nannys/au pairs/caregivers the place of work often overlaps with the place where they live because the children/patient live in the home and they have to care for them for an extended time and odd hours. The situation described in the original post is different, the poster is not the caregiver of the employer.
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Has the OP said? Do we know the nature of the work?
 
In the second post op says that staying at their home is not part of the internship job but would be convenient living with them because there is a hour long commute and the job starts early in the morning. I doubt very much is a caregiving/nanny type of job.
 
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As a young person please try to find your first job or amongst those, in an environment as official as you can. When you are young emotional loyalty is pretty strong towards the boss or the firm and many bosses use that to overwork you while you still feel indebt to them while it’s not the case.
The official place of an office is better trust me
It is a hard lesson in life to understand you are being paid for a job not working together with buddies. Most employers will simply work you to sleep and use your enthusiasm and leave you tired before time.
Find a stricter place to work than someone who offers home. There are things you don’t know from this arrangement such as - is the lodging free? What if one month their work isn’t efficient and so they comvince you to accept the lodging as payment while you desperately need the money? People can be such cons without a shred or sorrow.
“We’ll see what we’ll do” is not a good deal or a good contract especially when you are young and enthusiastic and gullible.
 
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Should you work for them? I think this is a matter of personal conscience.
Under no circumstances should you stay in their house. This will seem like you are endorsing their relationship. They will most likely be very hostile to your attending Mass and practising the Catholic faith.

I am sure they mean well, but they expect that all people will support the way in which they have chosen to live. They will be harsh on you when they find out you are a Christian.

I think that you should avoid living with them at all costs. Not only will this be bad for your personal faith, but it will be seen as an endorsement of their lifestyle.

Does this mean we cannot respect them? Of course not. These two men need to be respected and loved, for they might feel a real sense of rejection through the Church. The attitudes of some in the Church understandably would offend these men, for they have built their whole lives on this relationship.

But, we should never endorse such a relationship. It does not come from genuine affection and under no circumstances can it be approved.

Hope this helps!
 
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Taking a job in a company owned by two gay men? Not an issue. Living at their home? That’s simply odd. It just sends up red flags, most of which have nothing to do with the fact that they’re gay.
 
The evidence of life-history gathered and assimilated in memory can bring forth in a person the virtue of prudence, the knowing of the right thing to do in the right situation and circumstances. Fr. J. Aumann in his book “Spiritual Theology” lists these “Eight integral parts are required for the perfection of the virtue of prudence,” in the section on the moral virtues:
  1. Memory of the past, so that one may learn from experience what is to be done or avoided in particular circumstances.
  2. Understanding of the present, so that one may judge whether a given action is lawful or unlawful, morally good or evil, fitting or unfitting.
  3. Docility, so that those who lack experience may accept the counsel and advice of those who have experience.
  4. Sagacity, so that one may act rightly in urgent cases when time or circumstances do not permit delay.
  5. Reasoning power, so that when time permits, one may act after the required consideration and reflection.
  6. Foresight, so that one may judge the immediate means in view of the end or goal being sought.
  7. Circumspection, so that one may take into consideration the special circumstances surrounding a given act, as to persons and places.
  8. Precaution, so that one will take into consideration the possible obstacles from without, or one’s own weakness or incapacity in view of a given action.
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(These from St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa theologiae, II-II, qq. 47-9)
 
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A_Really_Big_Cat said:
I just got back from an interview for an internship and during it I discovered the employers are two gay men in a relationship. The internship would involve me staying in their house and I don’t really know how to deal with this info. I feel bad because I feel slightly unnerved by the idea of working with them even though they seem nice; I guess I just feel like they might be hostile to my faith.
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You don’t need to ask permission to follow your conscience.
You seem to know the right thing to do.
 
What exactly are the living conditions? Will you be living in “Mother-in-law suite”? Different end of the house? The barn (since you said it was organic gardening/farming)? Personally, I won’t want to live with strangers, let alone my bosses.
 
catholic03 said:
It does not come from genuine affection
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This really is an unkind and uncharitable thing to say. You have no idea what the relationship is about. It is entirely possible for a homosexual relationship to be based on mutual, genuine affection. (Gasp: and love, too).

OP is a young poster who is searching for answers and is seeking to do the right and moral thing. Let’s not pollute that up by making these kinds of statements.
 
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QwertyGirl said:
This really is an unkind and uncharitable thing to say. You have no idea what the relationship is about. It is entirely possible for a homosexual relationship to be based on mutual, genuine affection. (Gasp: and love, too).
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Very true. The sexuality is disordered and sexual behaviors based on it is gravely wrong, but we shouldn’t believe this means the underlying relationship couldn’t have been a legitimate relationship of friendship and mutual care, had there been no sexual relationship.
QwertyGirl said:
OP is a young poster who is searching for answers and is seeking to do the right and moral thing. Let’s not pollute that up by making these kinds of statements.
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For me, it would be enough to say that (a) you are wise not to live with your employer or go to work with a roommate as your boss, if you can avoid it and (b) you are wise not to put yourself in the position of having to give tacit approval to the immoral living arrangement of someone kind enough to be giving you bed and board or else to insult them by being open with your beliefs about what they’re doing. Your employer is “in the world” and you do not have to try to evangelize those who will give your words all the respect that swine give to pearls. That’s a tall order for a chosen living situation, though. I would avoid that. I wouldn’t discriminate for or against employers or employees or renters or landlords based on the part of their moral life that doesn’t touch work or a business relationship directly, because everybody has to eat and everybody needs a roof over their heads, but when it comes to those you break bread with, look for more accord. Whoever you live with, you will be likely to become more like them. Choose carefully.
 
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But is it true love? The Catechism and the Holy Father say no.

Christ said no. Such a relationship is intrinsically flawed.
 
Cardinal Reinhard Marx, very well says that such relation ships can stem from genuine love and affection. But they are still disordered.

His Eminence is right, but the relationship is still disordered and this love is the result of the disorder.
 
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catholic03 said:
But is it true love? The Catechism and the Holy Father say no.

Christ said no. Such a relationship is intrinsically flawed.
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I think you are mistaken.

I trust God has given us each the sense to determine if our relatonships to others are “true” anything or not.

Again, the Church doesn’t teach what you are claiming it teaches. I think you may need to study up a little more to fully understand the teachings.
 
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