Worst song ever?

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Laura_B said:
I agree with most of the songs listed here so far, especially Copacabana
and
Having my baby

Don’t remember seeing these so forgive me if I list them again:

Midnight at the Oasis - agreed (Maria Muldaur, btw)

Loving You (Minne Riperton’s shrieking at the end reminds me of a classic episode of All in Family – when Edith (Jean Stapleton) sings Indian Love Call (aka When I’m Calling You) during a power outage. My reaction to the high notes in Loving You is the same as Mike Stivic’s (Rob Reiner’s)) – agreed. Just as Archie once said about Edith, I’ll say about this song: “She sings like a hinge.”

Not sure of the title but its opening line starts “Help me, I think I’m fallin’, I love again…” sung by a very monotone singer to a light jazz melody. – I think it’s “Help me” by Joni Mitchell. I don’t mind it, altho’ generally Ghoti Hates Jazz.

Torn between Two Lovers (again, very monotonous) – I think it’s by Jessie Coulter – Mary McGregor, ackshelly. I heard it all the time growing up in the Seventies. Strangely enough, I like(d) the song (not the lyrical content – it’s one of the most narcissistic, cruel, ludicrous and emasculating songs I’ve ever heard) – but the melody and the singer are nice. I only ever listened to the lyrics in the last few years and found out what is was about. :eek:

True Colors (not so much the song as when it is sung by Cyndi Lauper. Does the woman hit a correct note even once during this song?) – Who is this Cyndi Laawwwper and why is she so unyuuusual?

Aaliyah – long and monotonous – nevah hoid it

Come to my window – A song about stalking IMHO – not nearly so much as is “Possession” (Sarah McLachlan) or “Every Breath You Take” (The Police)

And, in the church music category, my daughter’s parochial school has a Holy, Holy, Holy that just about drives me through the wall:

Holy Holy Holy
(echo Holy, Holy, Holy)
Lord God of Power and Might)
(echo Lord God of Power and Might)
Heaven, Heaven and Earth
(echo Heaven, Heaven and Earth)
Are full of your glory
(Are full of your Glory)
Sing! Hosanna
Sing! Hosanna
Sing! Hosanna
Sing! Hosanna
Sing Alleluia
Sing Alleluia
Blessed Blessed is He
(echo Blessed, Blessed is He)
Who Comes in the Name of the Lord
(echo Who Comes in the Name of the Lord)
Sing! Hosanna
Sing! Hosanna
Sing! Hosanna
Sing! Hosanna
Sing! Hosanna
Sing! Hosanna
Sing Alleluia
Sing Alleluia

The accompaniment is a music-box style piano arrangement.
Pardon me for saying it but while I do understand that the Holy Holy Holy is to give glory to God this one just drags on and on and when the kids are particularly bored it shows. (Of course, they always sing it when Mass is running long or when I have to get somewhere right after Mass.)

A previous thread mentioned the other Holy Holy Holy I loathe:
Holly, Holly Holly Loo-oo-yah!
My family read that transcription in this forum and were ROFL. Now we can’t look at each other when our parish does that one.

This is a fun thread. It made my day.
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Cantor: “Sing Hosanna”
Response: “Oh, don’t you cry for me…”

You could have an “Alleluia” as the recessional:

“Alle-looey-looai…oh, no, said we gotta go…”
 
Ghoti said:
Cantor: “Sing Hosanna”
Response: “Oh, don’t you cry for me…”

You could have an “Alleluia” as the recessional:

“Alle-looey-looai…oh, no, said we gotta go…”
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Even if Every Breath You Take is about stalking, it’s an amazing song. As is pretty much everything they made.
 
Filius99993 said:
Even if Every Breath You Take is about stalking, it’s an amazing song. As is pretty much everything they made.
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Indeedy - even the mauling by Puff Daddy couldn’t quite erase it’s brilliance. Come to think of it they did touch on some pretty borderline topics - ‘Roxanne’ about a hooker, ‘Don’t Stand So Close’ about a teacher-student relationship. :hmmm:

Not sure about the ‘Come to My Window’ thing - but then I first thought the line was ‘COME inside’, not ‘CRAWL inside’, so it sounded like an invitation by the ‘stalkee’ - I still think it is, kinda sorta, but who knows 🤷
 
LilyM said:
Indeedy - even the mauling by Puff Daddy couldn’t quite erase it’s brilliance. Come to think of it they did touch on some pretty borderline topics - ‘Roxanne’ about a hooker, ‘Don’t Stand So Close’ about a teacher-student relationship. :hmmm:

Not sure about the ‘Come to My Window’ thing - but then I first thought the line was ‘COME inside’, not ‘CRAWL inside’, so it sounded like an invitation by the ‘stalkee’ - I still think it is, kinda sorta, but who knows 🤷
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Yes. I like their instrumentals best, though.
 
Laura_B said:
Loving You (Minne Riperton’s shrieking at the end reminds me of a classic episode of All in Family – when Edith (Jean Stapleton) sings Indian Love Call (aka When I’m Calling You) during a power outage. My reaction to the high notes in Loving You is the same as Mike Stivic’s (Rob Reiner’s))

Gee, should I admit I’ve always liked this song?

True Colors (not so much the song as when it is sung by Cyndi Lauper. Does the woman hit a correct note even once during this song?)

Also always liked Cyndi Lauper (and Culture Club) and all of a sudden I feel very, very old, since my baby who just turned 24 wasn’t even born when those were popular.:crying: :crying:
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Actually going punk for the Sing Hosanna part might be an improvement to the way our school does it.

A punk version of So Long Farewell – HMMMM. I’m not sure if I’d want to here that or not. It might be just bizarre enough to amuse me or so bad that I’d run screaming from the room.
 
Just remembered another nominee (though it may have been listed, I don’t remember for sure)

Don’t cry out loud

also, most power ballads by Celine Dion (my husband calls her Sea-Lion Dyin) and Meat Loaf – both are usually just so overwrought. For amusement I imagine to myself that they are really in agony over a papercut or something else really, really minor.

Never really cared for Roxanne (both because of the content and something about the pitch or tone or whatever to me is as grating as nails on a chalkboard

I remember one of those t.v. countdown shows had Every Breath You Take as one of the top 10 love songs of all time. Since then, I’ve always considered it a failed song since so many people misunderstood its message.
 
Laura_B said:
also, most power ballads by Celine Dion (my husband calls her Sea-Lion Dyin) and Meat Loaf – both are usually just so overwrought. For amusement I imagine to myself that they are really in agony over a papercut or something else really, really minor.
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I actually like most of ML’s “overwrought” stuff – and I think the songs’ composer, Jim Steinman, would agree on that term. He once said he was always trying to write the best high-school football hero/motorcycle/angsty whatever – I guess the ultimate “Leader of the Pack” meets “Born to Run” meets “The Ride of the Valkyries”.

I pretty much like all of the original “Bat out of H-E-double-toothpicks” album, plus the title track of “BooH II”. Also in my Steinman list is “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now”, “Holding Out For A Hero”, “Total Eclipse Of The Heart”, “Making Love (Out Of Nothing At All)”, and “Read 'Em And Weep”. Yeah, the lyrics can be cheesy, but I think that’s part of their charm.

So as not to derail the thread, more nominees for worst song:
  • “Without You” by Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, or basically anyone other than Harry Nilsson
  • “The Power of Love” by Celine Dion or anyone other than Jennifer Rush
  • anything by Michael Buble
  • “I Drove All Night” by Celine Dion or anyone other than Roy Orbison or Cyndi Lauper
I sense a pattern here: OK, anything by Celine Dion, with the exception of “It’s All Coming Back…”
 
Somebody I don’t think anybody’s mentioned was Donovan. I was his #1 fan in the '60’s when I was 15 and didn’t get the lyrics, but he wrote a lot of really creepy, sleazy songs.
 
Ghoti said:
I sense a pattern here: OK, anything by Celine Dion, with the exception of “It’s All Coming Back…”
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Correction: anything in English by Céline Dion.

She doesn’t have the same overwrought persona when singing in French. That said, I’ve disliked her since the first time I laid eyes on the snaggle toothed teenager (before her remake by Pygmalion, er, René) in “Des fleurs sur la neige” where she played the role of an abused child. There is just something about her that has always come across as fake, fake, fake.
 
FickleFreckled said:
Somebody I don’t think anybody’s mentioned was Donovan. I was his #1 fan in the '60’s when I was 15 and didn’t get the lyrics, but he wrote a lot of really creepy, sleazy songs.
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Nothing I remember by Donovan would fall into that category, but I have to admit that I don’t have a long list: Mellow Yellow, Jennifer Juniper, The Hurdy Gurdy Man & Wear Your Love Like Heaven.
 
There was a lot of dark stuff on Donovan’s albums. I just thought it was mysterious at the time and didn’t understand the allusions anyway.
 
Phemie said:
Nothing I remember by Donovan would fall into that category, but I have to admit that I don’t have a long list: Mellow Yellow, Jennifer Juniper, The Hurdy Gurdy Man & Wear Your Love Like Heaven.
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I heard a live version of “Mellow Yellow” once on the radio, and the verse about “mad about fourteen” went:
*
I’m just mad about fourteen
Fourteen’s mad about me
I’m just mad about fourteen-year-old girls
They’re just mad about me…*

I guess the original recorded version was too subtle…🤷

And apparently, the “electric banana” is an, er, um, “device”… 😊
 
Phemie said:
I remember calling the local DJ (back in the days when there were actually DJs at the local station rather than the same programming on all the stations) and asking him to play “Knights in White Armour”. “Er, it’s ‘Nights in White Satin’.” “Satin? What kind of protection is that for a Knight???” I’m sure he was peeing his pants laughing at the other end of the line.😃
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That’s what I thought, too. I actually think the part of life when you think songs are about cool things is a separate life stage. The Meeting of Innocence and Pop Culture.
 
strngrnrth said:
That’s what I thought, too. I actually think the part of life when you think songs are about cool things is a separate life stage. The Meeting of Innocence and Pop Culture.
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A year later it was playing when DH and I danced our first slow dance. That and “In my Wildest Dreams” remain my favorite Moody Blues Songs. The poetry at the end of “Nights…” is beautiful.
 
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