Would being evil lead me to a joyful life of faith?

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Well, it seems to me that unless they were doing things for same reason as you, you won’t really be imitating them.
 
Well, it seems to me that unless they were doing things for same reason as you, you won’t really be imitating them.
? Not trying to imitate them, just offering examples I thought you would recognize. Keep in mind, I’m not really “planning” anything, just making a guess at where I would slide to if the last thread of faith snaps and I start to slide.
 
If you don’t mind me asking, what is your last thread of faith based on? Why hasn’t it snapped yet?
 
If you don’t mind me asking, what is your last thread of faith based on? Why hasn’t it snapped yet?
Sheer stubbornness, I think. Honestly. My idea of a better world includes one where I have a strong faith that motivates me and that spreads contagiously to others.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with first-order and second-order desires. ?
A first order belief would be “my spouse is cheating on me”. Now I could also have the belief or desire, “I wish I didn’t believe my spouse were cheating on me.” Holding the second-order belief doesn’t change the first-order one. Works that way for me and faith: I can really wish I had a strong faith, but that doesn’t mean I have one.
 
Sheer stubbornness, I think. Honestly. My idea of a better world includes one where I have a strong faith that motivates me and that spreads contagiously to others.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with first-order and second-order desires. ?
A first order belief would be “my spouse is cheating on me”. Now I could also have the belief or desire, “I wish I didn’t believe my spouse were cheating on me.” Holding the second-order belief doesn’t change the first-order one. Works that way for me and faith: I can really wish I had a strong faith, but that doesn’t mean I have one.
Do you have a third part to that equation? You have your faith. You have disbelief. Pull back a little bit and see a balance with faith and all the supporting knowledge on one side and your disbelief on the other with all the supporting knowledge. You watch as the balance tips toward disbelief and evaluate your faith based upon its performance against the things of disbelief. Is that how it works for you at the moment?
 
Do you have a third part to that equation? You have your faith. You have disbelief. Pull back a little bit and see a balance with faith and all the supporting knowledge on one side and your disbelief on the other with all the supporting knowledge. You watch as the balance tips toward disbelief and evaluate your faith based upon its performance against the things of disbelief. Is that how it works for you at the moment?
No. I can give you two different things that describe it better:
1.You read all the really cool ads for x-ray specs in the back of the comic book, so you send away for them, and when they get here, they suck. The pamphlet that comes with the glasses explains how they don’t let you see through *actual *clothes, but through the *metaphorical * disguises people wear, and that you have to look really carefully and study psychology and believe really strongly that people are good underneath to see that the masks of anger or selfishness are not real. Not perfect, because the process of them not working takes much longer than just “putting them on.”

2.You have a friend and you thought you guys were really close, but he never comes by to visit, never writes, never calls. Maybe tells a mutual friend to say, “hey” once in a while. After about the bazillionth time you invite him for dinner or ask him to help you move and he never responds, you just don’t feel the same warmth you thought you once shared. Surely you’ve had the experience of friendships that failed/faded? This one is not perfect, because I never felt the warmth and closeness, just kept thinking it would come if I kept being a good friend to the guy.

Since me actually putting on the glasses or actually inviting the guy over to my house don’t seem to have any noticeable effect on the outcomes, not putting them on or not asking him over should have very little actual impact. If he happens to come by at some point, great. If not, small loss, I’ve gotten used to having parties and moving to new places without him ever showing up anyway, so little change.
 
Well I’m not sure why God didn’t stop by your house in particular. If I remember your story when I see him, I’ll consider asking, if there is nothing more pressing.
 
I think you expect too much of God. It’s as if you expect God to pay you particular individual attention and to make a point of making himself particularly known to you. This is Our Lord and Master, he owes us nothing.
 
I think devising ways to manifest God and miracles is similar to putting God to the test, something we should not do.

In response to your longing for signs, He remains silent, perhaps to teach you humility, faith, and patience. Or maybe He wants you to love Him for who He is, and not based on what consolations He’s given you.
 
Neoplatonist,

God loves you. Very much.

What He gives to us, He gives to us because that is exactly what we need. He knew you, and every single crevice of your heart before He even formed the earth, or said, “Let there be light.” He knows you better than you know yourself.

I understand. As human beings, this statement makes everything in us resist–believers and non-believers alike. We’re all incredulous about it at one point or another in our lives, from saints to non-believers. That’s ok. But it’s absolute truth: He knows you better than you will ever know yourself.

I think Thorns is on to something. I think God may simply want you to get to know Him a lot better. That in and of itself is an absolutely precious gift–that any human being should be called in any capacity by the Almighty God! I think He may want with you what so many human beings want with each–a friendship based on the members loving and admiring each other for who they are. The I AM wants to be your friend. Please think about that. Think about how awesome that is. He IS granting you a grace, friend. Please don’t pass it up.

Once, St Teresa of Avila became frustrated with something that had happened in her daily life. Our Lord appeared to her and said, “Teresa, this is how I treat My friends.” “No wonder You have so few!” she replied. 🙂 I think the Lord may be attempting to shower you with a great grace. Let Him! What else have you to lose? Your faith? Nonsense–from what I’ve read here, you seem to be like so many of us (myself included): stubborn as a hinny (as we’d say in Tennessee). You’re so stubborn, in fact, that you keep persisting in faith. Please stop worrying about it, friend. He’s already given You the gift of faith. It might be small right now, but it’s there. I think this may be a great invitation. Pray. Abandon your own will. He knows what you need. And I will pray for you, too.

God loves you so much. We don’t see the full picture because we only have access to the beginning. But the Author knows the end. Have confidence in Him.
 
The Greek concept of Nemesis and the Indian doctrine of Karma are based on the fact that our vices incur their own punishment. Far from inspiring joy they produce misery for ourselves and others. Pride is the prime example…
 
Also, Neoplatonist, please commit this to your heart: Christ’s cross is your cross. It’s my cross. It’s the Holy Father’s cross. It was St Paul’s cross; it was St Monica’s cross. Our Lord suffered for us. Our Way requires suffering. Please don’t deny this deep (and beautiful) truth. Please don’t deny the cross. Take it up. For to deny the cross is to delude yourself. It will only make you despondent, bitter, and angry. The Lord is trying to make you a saint. Trust Him.
 
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