Would you marry the same spouse again?

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Abso-tootin’-lootly! 😃

I am convinced that God created us just for each other. No one else could stand me! LOL We are both very quirky and have strong opinions, likes/dislikes, etc. For example…

Our first date was a group date. His best friend grilled me in the car and asked me a whole bunch of questions like - “Do you like Tide or All? Pepsi or Coke? Inland or coast? Ford or Honda? Cotton or acrylic? Plaid or paisley? Snuggle or Downy? Crest or Colgate? Showers or baths? Best Foods or Miracle Whip? Heinz or Hunt’s? …”

His friends in the back were laughing at my answers, and my poor future husband was blushing deeper and deeper red the more questions I answered. I didn’t know what in the heck was going on, but I just went with it. I later learned that what was funny was that we matched on every answer, and his friends could not believe what they were hearing. 👍

We have been through a lot of tough times together, but he is an amazing person. I wouldn’t want to go through life with anyone but him. He is my soul mate and my love. :love: He is an amazing father and incredibly faithful Catholic man. I praise God for him every day. I think that if you marry your best friend, you have a really good chance at a great marriage. You just have to be willing to swallow your pride, serve them above yourself, and pray hard for humility and bite your tongue!😉 If you both do that for each other - what a beautiful thing.
 
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spanky:
Tony’s and LeMans…quite a combo! Are we talking theatre and car racing here?
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Yep. He really is the perfect man for me, and me the perfect woman for him. He’s my best friend in the world, and has been since the day we met. Yeah, we’ve had our share of difficulties, but I don’t think we would have made it through if either of us was someone different. (I’m not quite sure if that last part makes sense…)
 
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dsproule:
I feel for you Space Ghost. My mom never told me to not marry Catholic, but I just always new I would. My husband was nothing when we started dating in high school and he was open to coming to church with us and everything. He converted. I wouldn’t know my life if he wasn’t in it. He is a wonderful man and I feel blessed to be married to him. EXCEPT for the last two weeks. :mad: Can you say dog house?
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:clapping: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :clapping:
 
Yep. Twenty years later, our marriage has matured and deepened through the good times and bad. My sisters and friends complain about their husbands. My husband is about as perfect a match as God could give me. I wish my sisters and friends were as lucky in love. We were both cradle Catholics, and had always been practicing Catholics–even in our respective college experiences in the 1970s when weekly Mass attendance marked us as total geeks. Our shared Catholic faith has always been a bulwark of our marriage–especially through the inevitable diffiiculties of married life such as serious illness, family deaths, and similar setbacks. God is good.
 
Yes, Yes. After 37 years I can’t imagine ever being with another man even in another life. I still sit across the table and wonder how was was so lucky.😃
 
There are some “no’s” here and some pain.

I’m so sorry - I had a marriage that was very painful and lonely, too. I was very young and new-agey back then and marriage was very much “disposable.” If it’s not working, just go find one that will work. I divorced and then jumped right into a very abusive and self-destructive relationship and then into quite a wild life, so I guess I am a very good example of what not to do, in that respect.

I have been married to the same man for 24 years, yesterday - I thank God every day for him - one of the greatest blessings of my life. But, we’ve had some very rough times and even separated - so I’ve been there when you’re talking about hurt and lack of trust and loneliness.

I am too new to Catholicism to offer advice from a Catholic point of view, but I’ve read excellent advice here from people on pulling good and holy things from situations which seem impossible. I know that if you ask for prayers, you are sure to have many people praying for you, even if you only get a few written responses. And there’s a prayer request thread at the very top of the Spirituality forum.

I’ve been listening a lot to Catholic radio and I’ve heard almost miraculous stories about how seemingly loveless marriages become very loving and truly sacramental - even after all hope for that is gone.

There’s a program called “retrouvaille” - which means (I think) “finding again” - that is specially set up for reclaiming such marriages and making them fruitful for both partners.
retrouvaille.org/

It’s simply amazing what has happened in these retrouvaille courses. And it’s not just one weekend - there is follow-up and further guidance. You might want to look into it.

There may be Catholic programs like this for cases where only one partner is interested improving the marriage. (There must be - it seems like every time I turn around, I’m discovering a special ministry within the Church or sanctioned by the Church to help with an enormous variety of troubles and challenges.)

Where there is pain, there is opportunity. Someone can help you, **someone **can lead you to a prayer or a practice that will bring you peace or strength or joy, **someone **will light a candle for you, someone will pray for you, someone will just listen to you.

Where one member of the Church is in pain, the “body” is suffering. That’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve found in this Church - that so many are willing to work on these things with you and help you.

Good luck and God bless you!
Elizabeth
 
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quattrocchi:
Thank you, Elizabeth. I haven’t talked to anyone about the state of my marriage, so those are the first words of sympathy. I wouldn’t even know how to start a post or where to begin. I don’t have any of the obvious problems of the op whose husband left.
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Hi quattrocchi, were you perhaps referring to me - as the OP? 🙂 Oops, my husband has not left me… I can relate with some of you whose marriage has not been exactly a bed of roses but I continue to hang on because of my faith in the Lord. My husband is basically a good person and a very good provider but we have different priorities in life - that’s where the problem lies. I have

God
Family
Friends/Community
MOney

as my priorities in that order while his are

Money/Business
Friends
Family
God

I had been praying since 1988 (after I got into the renewal) for his conversion (he’s a nominal Catholic) but God it seems has other plans for him. I have entrusted him completely in God’s hands and I have learned to accept and embrace my “Cross” in my life. I completely believed that God has given him to me in marriage (at the time that I met him I was undergoing discernment (whether I was being called as a Carmelite Nun) probably because I have a purpose in his life and he in me. For one thing I wouldn’t be what I am now (spiritually strengthened in God) were it not for him. Besides he supports me (100%) in all my TOC activities. He allows me to be my own person. My marriage has become sort of a purification for me… Besides we have two wonderful children - My eldest is now a resident physician and my youngest is a Fine Arts graduate working in our family business.

Now why did I post this question in the first place … Because I used to ask this question myself… Reflecting on that now - Yes I would probably marry him again despite and inspite of… because marriage to him has made me closer to God. And that is what matters most to me at this point in my life… 🙂

God bless,
Nimfa
 
The op whose husband left her was BlestOne (I will figure out how to copy one post into another!)

I am praying for the someone.

Programs won’t work if he won’t go. Counseling won’t work if he won’t go. Ditto seeing a priest (though I recently did this by myself). Also won’t read anything on marriage, by anyone, Catholic or not. Or listen to a tape. Or anything. He has no interest in doing anything for the marriage, though he knows I am desperately unhappy. He just couldn’t care less.
 
I would marry my husband again without hesitation. I would space the children out a little more, though-three children in four years. :bigyikes:

My husband and I have a little 3x5 card on our Fridge that says, “A Happy Home Is When Both Spouses Believe They Got Better Than They Deserve”. I think this is very true and describes our marriage perfectly. My husband is far better than I deserve, but he also thinks the same about me. My husband is a wonderful blessing and when I see him that way, I treat him that way. It makes for a great marriage with a lot less conflict than a marriage where the spouse thinks the other one is just there to serve.

My husband is the greatest. I almost feel sorry for all the women who missed-out on him. Oh well, you snooze you loose. 😉

Scout :tiphat:
 
Yesturday, I spent probably 45 minutes pouring out my heart to y’all. When I hit send, it was erased…probably too long or a sign from God that I should just stay quiet. So, I’ll stay quiet. However, from all the posts I have read, I am envious and long for such a life. On the other hand, I live for God and will live accordingly.

God bless you all! Congratulations on your wonderful marriages!

Love & peace in Christ,
Bob
 
In a heartbeat, I couldn’t have said that a few years back though. My wife has stood by me in some of the worst moments in my life. I love her so much. God blessed me when he provided her to me. She is truly “the better half”.
 
I’d marry him again in less than a second. If I got to have the same kids again, I’d marry him in less than a nanosecond.
 
Most Definatly! He is my hero (military guy), and best friend. We have had some not so great times, but out of almost 10 years who has not? Of course the military schedule can be a blessing and a curse. It does keep things from getting boring! They will take him away for long enough to make me miss him and appreciate what I really have with him. Then he comes home and we have another “Honeymoon” with gushing love and affection. We were once asked if we were newlyweds while out for that rare dinner without the kiddos, we had been married for 3 or 4 years at that point! 😃
 
My first wife, no. My second wife, yes, yes, yes. It hasn’t always been easy, but we’ve had a good marriage for 25 years now.
 
It’s been thirty three years with the same woman. I can’t imagine having been married to anyone else this long. I’d marry her again in a heart beat 👍
 
My husband and I met as teenagers 23 years ago. We dated, broke up, stayed friends, dated off and on and finally married other people. We met up again going through divoce at the same time. That was 9 years ago. I had waited 13 years to marry him and have never had any regrets. Actually we did get married twice. Once in a civil ceremony and had our marriage blessed 2 years ago after we had become active in the Church.:love: :dancing: I love him more and more every day!

Maggie
 
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