Would you want emergency contraception if you or yours were raped?

[buffalo]

Why Can’t We Love Them Both?

…
Why not allow abortion for rape pregnancies?

We must approach this with great compassion. The woman has been subjected to an ugly trauma, and she needs love, support and help. But she has been the victim of one violent act. **Should we now ask her to be a party to a second violent act -that of abortion?**

Unquestionably, many would return the violence of killing an innocent baby for the violence of rape. But, before making this decision, remember that most of the trauma has already occurred. She has been raped. That trauma will live with her all her life. Furthermore, this girl did not report for help, but kept this to herself. For several weeks or months, she has thought of little else. Now, she has finally asked for help, has shared her upset, and should be in a supportive situation.

The utilitarian question from the mother’s stand-point is whether or not it would now be better to kill the developing baby within her. But will abortion now be best for her, or will it bring her more harm yet? Whathas happened and its damage has already occurred. She’s old enough to know and have an opinion as to whether she carries a "baby" or a "blob of protoplasm."

**Will she be able to live comfortably with the memory that she *"killed her developing baby"***? Or would she ultimately be more mature and more at peace with herself if she could remember that, even though she became pregnant unwillingly, she nevertheless solved her problem by being unselfish, by giving of herself and of her love to an innocent baby, who had not asked to be created, to deliver, perhaps to place for adoption, if she decides that is what is best for her baby.

Compare this memory with the woman who can only look back and say, "I killed my baby."

**But carry the rapist’s child?**

True, it is half his. But remember, half of the baby is also hers, and there are other outstretched arms that will adopt and love that baby.

**I don’t see how she could!**

"Interestingly, the pregnant rape victim’s chief complaint is not that she is unwillingly pregnant, as bad as the experience is. The critical moment is fleeting in this area. It frequently pulls families together like never before. When women are impregnated through rape, their condition is treated in accordance, as are their families.

**"We found this experience is forgotten, replaced by remembering the abortion, because it is what *they *did."**

 [right]M. Uchtman, Director, Suiciders Anonymous, Report to Cincinnati City

Council, Sept. 1, 1981
[/right]
“In the majority of these cases, the pregnant victim’s problems stem more from the trauma of rape than from the pregnancy itself.”

[right]Mahkorn & Dolan, "Sexual Assault & Pregnancy."

In *New Perspectives on Human Abortion,
*University Publishers of Amer., 1981, pp. 182-199
[/right]
As to what factors make it most difficult to continue her pregnancy, the opinions, attitudes, and beliefs of others were most frequently cited; in other words, how her loved ones treated her.

Mahkorn, “Pregnancy & Sexual Assault.” *In Psychological Aspects
*of Abortion, University Publishers of Amer., 1979, pp. 53-72
​

 

[Faithful_2_Rome]

I have two answers…I aint saying they are right but I aint saying they are wrong…

1. If this were my daughter and she was raped… and she was like 12 years old… I’m going straight to the hospital so she can get that pill that will prevent a pregnancy. My CHILD is NOT going to be subject to a pregnancy while her own body is still developing…let alone the mental anguish of other children seeing her pregnant, etc… I’ll go to church and take confession for my decision…I would confess, but in no way would I believe what I done was the same as an abortion of an adult woman making a conscious choice for an abortion…I regard a post rape hospital pill on the same level as a condom or diaphram…preventing pregnancy and not killing a baby. I would say verbatim to the priest…I truly dont believe what I did was wrong but I confess and ask forgiveness if it was…my 12 year olds mental health transended Church teaching at this time. NO way would I ever judge a parent who had to make that choice… I would support them in ANY choice they made with a such a young raped child…my child would literally have to display saintly heroic thought on her part and if she told me she could handle this and didnt wanna take a chance the post rape pill coould be an abortion…I may have second thoughts…but NO WAY would I impose upon a 12 year old the wisdom an adult should have regarding abortion and tell her she should act like a suffering saint…and now suck it up and take up your cross honey…no way no how…
2. If I were a woman and raped, I would propbably carry the child to term and then give it up for adoption… even then I dont believe a woman who aborts due to violent rape suffers the same emotional trauma for a hospital post rape pill, then does a woman woman who sets out to have sex, gets pregnant and aborts, and feels guilty afterwards…two very differnt psychological responses…inavribly, the one who played and didnt wanna pay will acknowledge deep down she was partly responsible… a raped woman will always be justified in saying she never asked for that sex in any way shape or form.

Under NO circumstance if I decided to carry the child to term would I keep it… I would consider myself as having carried my cross and then the child gets adopted…better psychologically for an adoption agency to tell that child that his mother was unwed and couldnt afford the best for them, then have that kid ask me later on…who was my daddy? NO child on this earth deserves to be told their father was a rapist.

 

[masondoggy]

Reading this thread makes me wonder what could happen if my teenage daughter was raped and I took her to the hospital, whether the hospital staff could give her the morning after pill even without my consent. Somehow I think I would lose all parenting rights in that situation and it would make me reluctant to take my child to the hospital if she told me she was raped.

Anybody have any experience with a scenario like that? Just like they give abortions/ birth control against parents wishes, what if the parent is standing right there saying NO?

 

[buffalo]

Faithful 2 Rome:

I have two answers…I aint saying they are right but I aint saying they are wrong…

1. If this were my daughter and she was raped… and she was like 12 years old… I’m going straight to the hospital so she can get that pill that will prevent a pregnancy. My CHILD is NOT going to be subject to a pregnancy while her own body is still developing…let alone the mental anguish of other children seeing her pregnant, etc… I’ll go to church and take confession for my decision…I would confess, but in no way would I believe what I done was the same as an abortion of an adult woman making a conscious choice for an abortion…I regard a post rape hospital pill on the same level as a condom or diaphram…preventing pregnancy and not killing a baby. I would say verbatim to the priest…I truly dont believe what I did was wrong but I confess and ask forgiveness if it was…my 12 year olds mental health transended Church teaching at this time. NO way would I ever judge a parent who had to make that choice… I would support them in ANY choice they made with a such a young raped child…my child would literally have to display saintly heroic thought on her part and if she told me she could handle this and didnt wanna take a chance the post rape pill coould be an abortion…I may have second thoughts…but NO WAY would I impose upon a 12 year old the wisdom an adult should have regarding abortion and tell her she should act like a suffering saint…and now suck it up and take up your cross honey…no way no how…
2. If I were a woman and raped, I would propbably carry the child to term and then give it up for adoption… even then I dont believe a woman who aborts due to violent rape suffers the same emotional trauma for a hospital post rape pill, then does a woman woman who sets out to have sex, gets pregnant and aborts, and feels guilty afterwards…two very differnt psychological responses…inavribly, the one who played and didnt wanna pay will acknowledge deep down she was partly responsible… a raped woman will always be justified in saying she never asked for that sex in any way shape or form.

Under NO circumstance if I decided to carry the child to term would I keep it… I would consider myself as having carried my cross and then the child gets adopted…better psychologically for an adoption agency to tell that child that his mother was unwed and couldnt afford the best for them, then have that kid ask me later on…who was my daddy? NO child on this earth deserves to be told their father was a rapist.

You would do this to your daughter?

**"We found this experience is forgotten, replaced by remembering the abortion, because it is what they did."

 

[Faithful_2_Rome]

Do WHAT to my daughter? Add the trauma of being pregnant by a rapist and forcing her to carry it?

#1 The Church even provides for a time frame to allow a person to prevent the potential of an unwanted raped pregnancy…you wanna force your 12 year old to carry a rapists baby against her will cause YOU are prepared to deal with it…go right ahead…I wont judge you…just dont judge me…as long as the Church says its okay within a time frame to do so… I’m glad the Church has used reason and allows for this type of pill in an emergency rape situation. For a parent to NOT take a child directly to the hospital after a rape is CRIMINAL. You tell them you are Catholic and you want to abide by the directives the Church has put forth to allow you to decide if that pill can be taken…but guess what…even then…if she is past the time frame… I am gonna ask my daughter what SHE wants to do…if she as a 12 year old can fully understand what it would entail to carry the child… I’d find it hard to but I would abide her wishes… if however my little girl is absolutly HORRIFIED at the added thought of being pregnant due to violent rape and was out of her mind at the idea of carrying child to term…I aint gonna force her to do so… thats the beauty of CONFESSION…FORGIVENESS for things we may do wrong ESPECIALLY cause of our love for our not yet developed and raped children…i FULLY beleive Jesus would understand and not even hold that situation the same as a woman who PURPOSLEY went out to have sex, got pregant and aborted… thouh he even forgives THAT as well. I pretty much think I would be covered.

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

Trauma shall be added by the abortion. Murdering a child shall not erase the pain of rape, it shall add pain for the murder you comitted.

Two wrongs never make a right, rape and murder do not cancel each other out, they multiply.

As for the church giving a time frame, I think that’s ok . . . but if she’s already pregnant, she cannot have the child murdered.

Anyways, the pregnany could help her, when is a child seen as a burden? The child did nothing, why kill them for their fathers deed?

I’m fourteen, as I said, I’d carry the child to term, and probably keep the babe.

 

[Faithful_2_Rome]

1. People tend to try and push the two wrongs theory onto the raped person…that person isnt committting two wrongs and shouldnt have to be associated with what the rapist did. If she took an EC pill right after a rape and was pregnant she is ONLY guilty of ONE wrong…please stop pushing the rapists sin onto the rapee as if she is doing two wrongs.
2. If the church allows for this procedure you are incorrect in calling this the murder of a baby…

 

[SweetPea]

Having been through this myself, I went for emergency contraception so fast it would have made your head spin (oh–and they also gave me a nice venereal disease too). And if I’d gotten pregnant, I would have had an abortion.

It’s easy to say what you THINK you’d do if this hasn’t happened to you. When the rubber meets the road, it’s a whole different story.

 

[Deacon2006]

SweetPea:

It’s easy to say what you THINK you’d do if this hasn’t happened to you. When the rubber meets the road, it’s a whole different story.

+May the Lord help heal your pain. +

We need to live resolute and faithful lives, we must support and build up a community of believers so when the tragedy comes in our lives we will have enough character, faith, courage or whatever we might want to call it to get up and push forward. We can not do it alone and those that are not alone are far more likely to share the burden with their spouse, family, friends, and God. Its not the easy choices that get us into heaven it is the ones that shatter us to our bones. The child did not rape anyone and as such has a right to life. But if we fail in our hour we must not refuse to acknowledge it as anything short of failure and seek the life giving forgiveness to move forward once again.

God Bless

 

[Adam_Costanzo]

I’m obviously a man, but getting very theoretical here, suppose by some wierd thing that were to happen to me. Why punish the baby for it? The baby didn’t do anything, so why kill him?

---

Imagine someone throws a person through your front window. Would you kill the person because he/she is in your house?

 

[cainem]

from a totally selfish view point i would ask my wife to take emergency contraception, i could not love the child or bear to see my wife pregnant from such a horrific attack how many people could honestly say their relationship would survive even though their wife was forcibly impregnated, sorry not the answer you want to hear but an honest one

 

[Brad]

cainem:

from a totally selfish view point i would ask my wife to take emergency contraception, i could not love the child or bear to see my wife pregnant from such a horrific attack how many people could honestly say their relationship would survive even though their wife was forcibly impregnated, sorry not the answer you want to hear but an honest one

Doesn’t bother me to hear it but it will bother your soul to hold steadfast to a belief based on selfish motivation.

 

[Island_Oak]

Brad:

Doesn’t bother me to hear it but it will bother your soul to hold steadfast to a belief based on selfish motivation.

Let’s remember the reason for the Church’s policy on this issue–the compassion for the victim in light of recognition of the particular horror of this type of attack. There is nothing “selfish” about choosing the option that is within the teaching of the Catholic Church which assures both that no actual pregnancy is terminated, but allows for the active prevention of pregnancy where it can be determined it has not yet occurred.

 

[Brad]

Island Oak:

Let’s remember the reason for the Church’s policy on this issue–the compassion for the victim in light of recognition of the particular horror of this type of attack. There is nothing “selfish” about choosing the option that is within the teaching of the Catholic Church which assures both that no actual pregnancy is terminated, but allows for the active prevention of pregnancy where it can be determined it has not yet occurred.

A couple of things:

1. What Church teaching says this is ok?
2. It was the poster that said he was selfish not me. It was also the poster that claimed he could not love a child if that child was conceived due to rape. It was this “steadfast belief” (implying that an even an abortifacent might be ok) that I was cautioning against.

 

[Island_Oak]

Brad:

A couple of things:

1. What Church teaching says this is ok?

Please go back and read post #50 in this thread and citation to the USCCB statement it contains

1. It was the poster that said he was selfish not me. It was also the poster that claimed he could not love a child if that child was conceived due to rape. It was this “steadfast belief” (implying that an even an abortifacent might be ok) that I was cautioning against.

Not trying to pick a fight–just seemed to me you were ratifying his mistaken belief that choosing emergency contraception was “selfish.” I disagree. The Church recognizes that as long as human life isn’t destroyed, you are permitted to pursue several options to prevent a pregnancy without hanging your head in shame that you were selfish in choosing not to add the complication of a preganancy to an already traumatic event.

 

[Brad]

Island Oak:

Please go back and read post #50 in this thread and citation to the USCCB statement it contains

That’s a USCCB document. While I am not saying I disagree with it or that I agree with it, it is not an authoritative teaching of the Church. I have to read a few of the Church encyclicals closely again to make a determination. Any “emergency contraception” that I know of can become an abortifacent - which is wrong - period. There
Island Oak:

Not trying to pick a fight–just seemed to me you were ratifying his mistaken belief that choosing emergency contraception was “selfish.” I disagree. The Church recognizes that as long as human life isn’t destroyed, you are permitted to pursue several options to prevent a pregnancy without hanging your head in shame that you were selfish in choosing not to add the complication of a preganancy to an already traumatic event.

If I was agreeing with anything it was that it would be selfish to hold fast to the belief that you could not love another human being conceived through rape.

That aside (meaning we are not arguing regarding the selfishness of the emergency contraception decision), I refer to my above statement - I believe the intent of most “ermergency contraception” is to be an abortifacent if it cannot stop conception. I may be wrong but I’m think, in actuality, this is probably what happens.

 

[Island_Oak]

Brad:

That’s a USCCB document. While I am not saying I disagree with it or that I agree with it, it is not an authoritative teaching of the Church…

Upon what basis do you make this statement? Or perhaps I should ask–what qualifies as an “authoritative teaching of the Church?” By making the statement above, are you suggesting that USCCB is advocating a position that is contradictory to some other “authoritative” Church teaching? Do you further assert that if a woman follows the policy authorized by the USCCB she is somehow in violation of such other “authoritative teaching?”

 

[Island_Oak]

Brad:

That aside (meaning we are not arguing regarding the selfishness of the emergency contraception decision), I refer to my above statement - I believe the intent of most “ermergency contraception” is to be an abortifacent if it cannot stop conception. I may be wrong but I’m think, in actuality, this is probably what happens.

Take the time to go back and read some of the posts in this thread. I’m not interested in retyping them. There are some fairly thorough explanations of how it is possible for emergency contraception to be accomplished without abortifacient effect. Such is the ONLY permissible EC recognized by the USCCB which expressly FORBIDS any procedure which would cause an abortion–no matter how soon accomplished after fertilization.

 

[Brad]

Island Oak:

Upon what basis do you make this statement? Or perhaps I should ask–what qualifies as an “authoritative teaching of the Church?” By making the statement above, are you suggesting that USCCB is advocating a position that is contradictory to some other “authoritative” Church teaching? Do you further assert that if a woman follows the policy authorized by the USCCB she is somehow in violation of such other “authoritative teaching?”

An authoritative teaching of the Church is one on faith or morals from the teaching authority of the Church - the Magisterium.

I’m not suggesting the USCCB is advocating a contradictory position as I said that I neither agree nor disagree with the statement with my limited information. I’m simply saying that this comes from the USCCB and not the teaching magisterium of the Church. The USCCB is a committee of US Bishops - it is not the teaching authority. This would be done through an encyclical or other document from the Vatican congregations or Pope.

 

[Brad]

Island Oak:

Take the time to go back and read some of the posts in this thread. I’m not interested in retyping them. There are some fairly thorough explanations of how it is possible for emergency contraception to be accomplished without abortifacient effect. Such is the ONLY permissible EC recognized by the USCCB which expressly FORBIDS any procedure which would cause an abortion–no matter how soon accomplished after fertilization.

I will do that. Don’t have the time right now.

The distinction is correct. The application is easily open to “accidents” where the intent was contraception and the result is abortion. Not a road I recommend. I will review the methods on the board when I get a chance.