Yet another hand-holding poll during the Our Father

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this poll is not in regards to private family, but in regards to strangers or non-family members sitting next to you in Mass during the Lord’s Prayer.
 
i would prefer not to
but if other people want to do it, they can do it among themselves
 
I would prefer not to hold hands. I do not oppose others holding hands.
 
I have been to Mass at various churches and the custom is different at each.

At one everyone was holding hand with everyone… Hands across the aisle.

At other churches, no one holds hands… You are given the evil eye if you even extend your hand and offer it.

At our home church it seems like it’s family’s holding family member hands… I will hold my wife’s hand and extend the other. (I don’t invade other’s space) Adults never grab my other hand, but on occasion young children will.
 
same as Will
I prefer not to but my husband & kids always grab hands. I extend my other hand a bit but dont grab at anyone. I really do not like the reach across the aisle.
 
Personally, I think it’s just alien to the culture to do it; rather like dancing during the Mass. Might be part of the culture in Africa, for instance, for men to hold hands with each other, or with the wives of other men, but it isn’t in the West.

I was amused in one of the two parishes my wife and I attend. When the hand-holding craze got into full swing, almost everybody did it but my wife and me. Then one Sunday, the priest said it wasn’t obligatory to do it. After that, almost nobody did, and they still don’t.

It’s not obligatory. It’s not some liturgical requirement. It’s just an alien accretion that came out of nowhere; perhaps it’s some Evangelical thing to do. Seems like it might be.
 
Ridgerunner said:
Personally, I think it’s just alien to the culture to do it; rather like dancing during the Mass. Might be part of the culture in Africa, for instance, for men to hold hands with each other, or with the wives of other men, but it isn’t in the West.

I was amused in one of the two parishes my wife and I attend. When the hand-holding craze got into full swing, almost everybody did it but my wife and me. Then one Sunday, the priest said it wasn’t obligatory to do it. After that, almost nobody did, and they still don’t.

It’s not obligatory. It’s not some liturgical requirement. It’s just an alien accretion that came out of nowhere; perhaps it’s some Evangelical thing to do. Seems like it might be.
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part i bolded: that pretty much sums up what i believe, which is that people feel obligated to do this, but the majority of people would prefer not to.

now if only ALL the priests would say what yours did or write it up in the bulletins. 👍
 
Adults holding the hands of strangers is just weird, furthermore most people doing it feel stupid and self concious which prevents prayer. On top of that it is a unwanted intrusion and disrespectful to my person, I expect to be able to worship God without random strangers grabbing hold of me.

Furthermore it shifts the focus during the Our Father from God to we the people holding hands as one.

It is an awful practice that makes going to mass an uncomfortable social experience.
 
jen_fla said:
this poll is not in regards to private family, but in regards to strangers or non-family members sitting next to you in Mass during the Lord’s Prayer.
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I do not understand the specifier about family. Are family members better human beings than the person sitting next to us in the pew? I do not hold hands including those of my family members. Especially my family members should know better.
 
To me, touch is very personal. I prefer not to be touched at all, except by my close kin.

Miz
 
Our bishop came down on a number of things.

Most notably, he instructed the priests not to amble down the isle during the sign of peace.
In addition he instructed us NOT to hold hands during the Pater Noster.

Reg.
Dominus Vobiscum
 
We are all one family in Christ are we not? I see nothing wrong with wanting to extend a hand of friendship and togetherness.

I find it ridiculous that one post said that he doesn’t like to be touched at all. I wonder how you would get a job, as most interviews start with a handshake.
 
Redratfish said:
We are all one family in Christ are we not? I see nothing wrong with wanting to extend a hand of friendship and togetherness.
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Is “extend(ing) a hand of friendship and togetherness” an appropriate action while praying the Mass?

Let us not confuse the desire to show that we are a community with the proper celebration of Mass and worship of our God.

We come together as a community, together with saints and angels, to celebrate Mass. But anything that takes our attention away from Jesus and puts it on those in the pews is to be avoided. Even during the Lord’s Prayer our attention must remain vertical, not horizontal.
Maybe holding hands during the Our Father tends to move the focus away from God. That’s certainly how I feel.
 
I guess you could say I do not have a preference. I actually did like it many years ago until I discovered the practice is really a no-no. So now I do not hold hands. I put my hands together in prayer while praying the Our Father during Mass - it keeps people from grabbing mine.

Its not really a problem at our parish as most do not hold hands. Its really most helpful if I’m visiting another parish where some are most exuberant in they’re wanting to have a “group” experience. I don’t fault them, I’m sure they come from a place of genuine kindness. Haven’t had anyone try to snatch up my hand though if they’re held together in prayer. 👍
 
I flat refuse to hold hands at the Pater Noster at the local or any OF parish. Which is why I try to make it to the EF masses.
 
As I expressed on another thread, in order to concentrate I need to pray with my eyes shut.
Should someone hold out their hand to hold I would never know unless they were so bold as to tug my sleeve.
This helps to keep visual distractions at bay.

If only I could tune out the communion hymn …
 
Advocatus_Fidei said:
Adults holding the hands of strangers is just weird, furthermore most people doing it feel stupid and self concious which prevents prayer. On top of that it is a unwanted intrusion and disrespectful to my person, I expect to be able to worship God without random strangers grabbing hold of me.

Furthermore it shifts the focus during the Our Father from God to we the people holding hands as one.

It is an awful practice that makes going to mass an uncomfortable social experience.
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As strongly as that is put, I agree with it wholeheartedly 😉 I voted that “I prefer” but in fact “I don’t”. But I don’t mind if others hold hands during prayers at Mass.
 
I prefer not to. Even though I grew up doing it, it just feels awkward and repetitive, since don’t we shake everybodys’ hands a mintue later?

Also because it’s not in the rubrics, I have no authority to do this. (According to Vatican II:thumbsup:)
 
Cristiano said:
I do not understand the specifier about family. Are family members better human beings than the person sitting next to us in the pew? I do not hold hands including those of my family members. Especially my family members should know better.
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there was another poll on this topic, so i wanted to be a bit more specific. the other thread currently going right now on this issue brings up the difference between most people not having a problem with what family members do vs the sense that this is some type of new custom that we ALL must take part in.

i agree with advocatus fidei 100%.

and as a woman that goes to Mass by myself i do not want strange men grabbing my hand. it makes me extremely uncomfortable. i like shaking hands during the sign of peace, but for the rest of Mass i want to be left alone undisturbed.

peace.
 
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